Hit Me In The Heart

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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Hit Me In The Heart
POSTED ON Jun 25, 2019 23:21:55 GMT
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[nospaces][googlefont=Yanone Kaffeesatz:300|Mr Dafoe:400|Roboto:400,400i,600,700]



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jennifer
ferris




#twenty
#beautician
#pansexual
#rocket grunt
#gemini



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about







broken, silenced.[break][break]

she was hurt, told to protect the people who should have been protecting her. she's burned under expectations, suffocated under their care and their words. their eyes never leave her, she learns she can never leave their sight. she accepts this, quietly, no other choice in the matter. yet, she hates it. ten years, since she could walk and talk. mother and father never looked at her, no matter how hard she tried. she was a gem to her parents and the rest of the family; a jewel that was only beautiful to look at. otherwise, utterly useless. [break][break]

raised and moulded to it her parents' view and expectations; a failure. seven years old and she bullied the servants, relentlessly. the result of her parents, when the little attention they gave her was a solid beating and a nagging scolding. she grew tired, she found joy in suffering. [break][break]

fourteen, she runs away. she doesn't look back, and feels no remorse. this new taste of freedom is a drug to her, but the fear of being brought back in lingers. she throws away the luxuries and the silver spoon, choosing the life of a thug and a reason to look forwards to tomorrow. she loves the adrenaline; there is no other reason as to why she's with rocket. order and monotony wasn't and is never going to be her forte; she will never conform. [break][break]

she is the disappointment of her family, and she thrives. adrenaline and fear have been with her for so long; they have become dear.




she is

fickle
flirtatious
opportunistic
egotistical
ambitious
blunt
sadistic
playful
manipulative
charismatic


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friends






fickle and manipulative.[break][break]

she is not a friend; she is a leader. don't put her on the same level as yourself; she is spoiled and self-entitled. do as she says, or she will get upset. she will insult, bully, push and beat into submission. her friends will submit to her; she will not tolerate otherwise. she is the instigator for all things trouble; chaos and trouble are her calling. she will not settle for anything less. two-faced and proud, to admit defeat is as good as death itself. [break][break]

a twisted idea of friendship she has, however oddly enough, she knows how to treasure. there are good times, she is blunt and she is brash. however, she is assertive and encouraging. when viewed as her 'underling', she will protect and she will scold. she will speak her mind, no longer wear as many masks to those closest to her. she is blunt and forgiving, yet cruel and sadistic. her kindness is brief, both a farce an genuine. she switches between cruelty and affection. [break][break]

she knows little about friendship, so genuine and close friends are sparse (assuming that anyone could stand to be near this abuse for long enough). the two-face is in more ways than one. when opened up, all layers peeled from a seemingly simple-minded girl-- her tyranny is the result of trying, so hard, to fool herself. [break][break]

she will not be abandoned if she abandons first. [break][break]

she will not let herself be lonely.



wants

genuine friends
lemme do your hair
girls night
bully victim
teach her kindness


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enemies







wrest control. [break][break]

she fears it losing the little power she has. her fear is masked, however, in a veil of resentment and childish pranks that could harm. she is indifferent to those who hurt her, and insist that they are trivial matters. she cares little for the people on a moral high horse, and finds it irritating when being lectured about 'order'. monotony and order are hateful, she will walk away as soon as she can. insults and sneers are met with scissors and a grin - truly, the only people who can make her blood boil and her lips grin. [break][break]

she loves the people she hates, because they bring her joy. they bring her joy when they make her suffer, when they make her cry - it makes it all the more satisfying making them grovel at her feet. when this is not possible, she will revel in the suffering as pain had become precious to her. she will start drama, she will start trouble. she will stir irritation, anger, resentment. hate her. hate her more, and more, and more. it is all she's aware of, and all she's ever known. [break][break]

this is her drug.





seeking

put stuff here
or whatever
try not to go
super overboard, but it'll scroll after 2 lines


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lovers







That's funny






seeking

put stuff here
or whatever
try not to go
super overboard, but it'll scroll after 2 lines


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[attr="class","icarus_credit"]SELKIE






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