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i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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I HAVE FAILED A MILLION TIMES. WHAT'S ONE MORE?
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ESSER BLACKWELL
amour interdit [ closed | trigger ]
POSTED ON Dec 6, 2018 20:13:27 GMT
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SPOILER: Click to show
he won't even give her this. it never passes the confines of her throat. she chokes not on the contents of the pill but from the grip that prevents her from meeting her end. his vice-grip is inescapable and not even oxygen can pass through his angry fingers. esser can feel herself choking, gagging. an uncomfortable push against her gut forces her to expunge it. "why," she chokes out, sobbing from the sheer pain of his prying. but it doesn't end there. it never does with silas. what comes next is punishment - he finally breaks her in once and for all.

-------

esser falls for the same pitfalls that other girls her age do. adolescences is a time filled with romance and fantasies. to say she hadn't fancied the thought of something more would've been a lie, taboo be damned. l'appel du vide. it's all broken promises, idle thoughts, odd swirls of subconsciousness that's thrown into wack by her changing mind and body. blame the hormones or a twisted subset of a freudian complex. esser knows better than to act on it but they're there. occasional, and no more different than the weird kinks of literature that prey on youth that don't know any better.

the difference is that esser knows to ignore it. she's self-aware enough to know that what she envisions is a romanticized illusion. her brother is no hero. he's a sick, twisted bastard who's entangled her into his web of deceit and violence. so when he acts on it esser knows better. this is not going to unfold how she had always thought it would. she knows it yet she cannot resist. not due to sentiments, not out of her abusive stockholmn syndrome-- she cannot resist because doing so will result in death. the red hand print throbs against her neck. it feels like he's crushing her throat. she can still breath but just barely.

what comes next is the crashing disappointment of reality. there's not warmth or giddiness that comes from the act. no, silas is a monster. he breaks her. physically and spiritually. all the literature, advice, and bad portrayals in the media don't do justice to how far off their rendition of the act is. it hurts, stings, literally feeling him inflict pain on her. at first she tries to stifle it but she can't handle it for long. he doesn't stop and the pain never subsides. he keeps inflicting it on her not out of satisfaction from her misery but from his own self indulgence. esser finds herself silently sobbing not long after, blank minded and staring at the ceiling, begging for it to be over. only her raw instinct for survival keeps her from pushing away. it's not like she could succeed anyway.

when all is said and done, esser doesn't make a peep. she lays there, battered and broken, much like slateport. dried tears stain the edges of her eyes as she shrinks back into herself. silas may leave, a one and done kind of deal, but this is forever something that esser will remember. he took more than just her innocence-- he robbed her of her devotion. this is the breaking point. this is the catharsis she needs to ascend. this is the point in time that changes her person, her mentality, and most importantly her outlook on life.

this isn't right.

silas isn't right.

but like what just happened, no one will make a move. no one will interrupt. no one will prevent this from happening again. the only thing that can save her is herself. she can't do it now, not alone, but she refuses to live through it again. if only she had swallowed that pill earlier. unfortunately, she wasn't even capable of that. so she'll live through tonight, suffer through the shithole that is rocket, to aspire to make a better tomorrow.

silas has dethroned their father because he couldn't get behind his father's stubborn morals.

esser will now do the same, all to put an end to her brother's depravity.

this isn't for justice. this is for love. a sweet, sweet, love for vengeance.

--- PM me for any questions and concerns.



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amour interdit [ closed | trigger ]
POSTED ON Nov 27, 2018 4:43:51 GMT
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she hesitates, if only for a moment. like all people, esser fears death. it's the last thing she wants but, with a moment to think, she knows better than to refuse. if she does then silas really will end her. she doesn't have a choice in the matter. it must be a test, she reasons. a test of faith to prove that she's still his most loyal subject. he's always been insecure about it, ever since .

"i love you."

esser ends on that note. he'll hate her for it, like the way he hates her for being weak, for feeling, for being human, but she means it. in case it really is the cyanide then at least she'll end on her own terms, with her own words. in one fell swoop she lobs the pill into her mouth and swallows it down in a gulp. she can feel the morsel pass her gullet as he throat throbs at the passage of something forced without water, without prompting.



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amour interdit [ closed | trigger ]
POSTED ON Nov 22, 2018 17:14:29 GMT
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in many ways, the slateport invasion is a prophecy of what's to come. esser knows better than to herald is as a conquest. silas will not accept half-measures. the fact that esser saw first hand the bumbling idiocy of their troops allows her to sympathize with her brother. their ranks are dull, children, unable to grasp the finesse needed to carry out such a large scale operation. they remind her of herself and that means one thing: silas will be crossed.

a normal person would not take the critique that comes her way. silas had been there and they still failed to secure the ship master. why must she take the sole blame? fortunately, esser is not normal. not by any means. she is the discarded princess, the daughter long forgotten by the one man she cherishes most. it breaks her heart but it will not stray her away from her one true path.

silas is might and might makes right.

esser shies away when he enters. she can smell the berating a mile away. she averts her eyes, head hung low. "i had it on me," she confesses. "i was ready to swallow it if it came to that, silas." she's referring to the cyanide she kept during the raid. fortunately, she didn't have to use it. unfortunately, she'd learn to regret living through the slateport ordeal.



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BATTLEFRONT 3: DOCKS
POSTED ON Nov 6, 2018 10:59:22 GMT
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the AIR SLASH hits but that's not enough. nothing ever is. is insatiable. even now, when their plans go unhindered, does he find the chance to condemn her for actions outside of her control. and things had been going so well - relative to esser's norm. with a sullen sulk, she keeps up, several paces behind him. she doesn't dare tarnish the ground he walks on. her golbat stays nearby, circling back and at the ready.




≫ follows silas 



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BATTLEFRONT 3: DOCKS
POSTED ON Nov 1, 2018 6:40:55 GMT
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everything unfolds in front of esser. it's too many people, too many pokemon, and most importantly too many goddamn posts. she's lost, unfit for a multi-faceted brawl. the only one fast enough to keep pace, to catch up to speed with her target, is her golbat. faster than the wind it cuts through, it leaves the sharp sound of cleaving wind in its wake.

a series of AIR SLASHES fly forward. they threaten the only other trainer that isn't already bound up by an ally. the golbat knows better than to risk friendly fire on dragalge. that only leaves . how unfortunate. don't get cut up too badly now.


≫ golbat fires AIR SLASH at

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london fog [dw]
POSTED ON Oct 30, 2018 6:33:51 GMT
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"i will desmond." she promises with well intent but they both know that's impossible. trouble is the closest thing esser will find to a soulmate. they belong together, intertwined. one never without the other. it's symbolic, really. the depravity of her sins being the sink that allows the freedom to reign without shortcoming. for him to be perfection there needs to be weakness, a defect. the blackwells are not perfect and esser is the holy grail that assimilates their failures.

what do you wish for?

right now, nothing more than a little more time with her most trusted adviser. she looks him over again, embracing his features, acknowledging the fine lines that come with age. she wants to run her fingers against them, to appreciate his impact on her life, and to grow old with him. to settle in the country and watch the trees grow is a dream too far to reach. it makes her sad. it fills her with regret.

if only.

to grow old is a folly. neither desmond nor her pokemon will make it to the end. the demand of conflict won't let them. "yes desmond," she answers. it's an impossible task. not unless she neglects them, leaving them in their balls until they're needed. isolation allows her heart to steel.

the pokeballs will never leave her backpack. not until the fated time.


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BATTLEFRONT 3: DOCKS
POSTED ON Oct 29, 2018 1:53:19 GMT
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undeterred, esser makes a successful escape. the looming combat behind her is an after thought, as is her magmortar. until the realization hits her. oops. the YAWN comes out from a poochyena, seeking to immobilize the magmortar, but that doesn't prevent it from attacking now. the pokemon's about to turn the canine into cinder when it's abruptly recalled. esser snatches it back into its pokeball from afar, still unused to having to keep track of all her pokemon amidst the chaos.

the sound of the crane coming down rattles her into her core. this isn't a regular pokemon battle. there's no turn based reactions that make the flow of battle transparent and foreseeable. no, the battlefield is a wicked place where one step means being crushed under several hundred pounds of cold, hard steel.

two against one?

wrong.

esser arrives shortly after , sandwiching her in the same manner they had @aya . now things get interesting.

two against one and a half.

unfortunately, she won't be the reliable back up that @aya needs. that'd require some levels of competence. something that, like pokemon on the field, esser lacks.






≫ forgot about magmortar and recalls it
≫ scared but keeps running
≫ catches up to @aya , ,

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I HAVE FAILED A MILLION TIMES. WHAT'S ONE MORE?
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ESSER BLACKWELL
BATTLEFRONT 3: DOCKS
POSTED ON Oct 28, 2018 0:00:05 GMT
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wow! a direct hit. that's something new, an experience esser isn't used to. battle is not her forte and landing a critical blow on the opponent is something she's only ever received not dealt. perhaps relying on borrowed power, the source of her current roster, was more reliable than the eevees she had grown up with. perhaps this was the start of her blossoming into the strong, independent woman who could break free from the shackles of the blackwell curse?

and, just like that, her preemptive victory game to an abrupt, anticlimactic end. esser watched blankly, blinking repeatedly, as fled the scene. she could do that? esser's lack of exposure to the battlefield is a weakness that grants a window to escape. unfortunately, is not wise enough to take it.

but esser is. during the whole cahoot where @light not only snatched them up, beat them down, took off his socks, rolled them up, put them in @alt 's and @bliss 's mouth, but delivered a dad af punch line, gave commands for another set of instructions, and give yet another set of instructions, esser was long gone. the sudden disappearance of the two trainers were already a bad omen, one she heeded with caution as she struggled to scamper away under the effect of GRAVITY. luckily, @light had performed enough actions to reach a thousand words, plenty of time for esser to gain at least some distance.

oh, and @light had the audacity to carry out a conversation with . esser may not be able to capitalize on the situation but magmortar could. he keeps it simple, firing another FIRE BLAST in their general direction. by the look of its trajectory, its going to squarely hit poochy c and anything nearby unless there's some intervention.






≫ watches run
≫ runs too and struggling under GRAVITY
≫ magmortar uses FIRE BLAST on poochy c
≫ fuck you guys for making me and shiv read 2.5k words s2g i will hunt u both down w @me @me @me ic

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I HAVE FAILED A MILLION TIMES. WHAT'S ONE MORE?
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BATTLEFRONT 3: DOCKS
POSTED ON Oct 26, 2018 6:24:50 GMT
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esser does not belong here. she is not a killer, nor a fanatic. all she is, is the remnants of the blackwell's hope at humanity. that too is something she fails at, willing to sacrifice her humanity just to sate her brother's thirst for subjugation. that's why she's here. that's why she's on the beach, kicking up sand as she desperately runs toward the innards of the shipyard. the panic that strikes her face makes her blend in, a girl that's lost in the suffocation of the overall chaos.

she almost trips but catches her self. her brother is watching. she can't mess up here. no again. there would be no forgiveness this time. a small pill lays in her breast pocket, easily accessible and poised should things go sour. esser still doubts she has the guts to carry it out but she keeps it for good measure.

ultimately, she's still incompetent. while the rockets wash up ashore, esser is struggling to keep up, heaving as she runs. maybe she should've done more cardio, maybe she should've been born into another family. anything to keep her away from the inevitable conflict. but, like many things, destiny always arrives. esser's just fashionably late, following up behind @aya and @bliss .

a magmortar comes out. the only reason why is because esser can recognize the bug pokemon on the field. surely fire beats bug, right? that's her thought process and it's realized by a series of FIRE BLASTS. repeated fireballs spill out of its arm cannons, aimed squarely at the two most vulnerable pokemon available. the fact that one retreats closer to its trainer is of no consequence. they're not here to battle. they're here to pillage and kill.

esser is not a winner but she is here to conquer. forces her to.



≫ comes in late
≫ magmortar uses FIREBLAST on butterfree / beautifly


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ESSER'S PC
POSTED ON Oct 26, 2018 2:00:49 GMT
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golbat
inner focus
poison fang / air slash / haze / venoshock

alohan grimer
poison touch
poison gas / gunk shot / acid armor / screech

dirfloon
aftermath
minimize / constrict / astonish / explosion / ominous wind / payback

forretress
sturdy
protect / explosion / magnet rise / mirror shot / rapid spin / zap cannon

magmortar
flame body
thunder punch / smog / feint attack / flamethrower / lava plume / fire blast

sneasel
keen eye
taunt / ice shard / punishment / snatch / metal claw / agility
img
The Shula Region
Hogwarts AU
THE PILLAR KINGDOMS
RPG Unlimited
MR
Marvel
life is strange
The Enroi Region
NEO
N:FB
Vyrehaven
RIDDIKULUS: an au hogwarts rp
Celestial Guardians, AU Sailor Moon RP
Emerius, An Animanga Dragon Age Roleplay