Messages from Family

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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Billi
He/Him
Twenty-One
August 29th
Spikemouth, Galar
Gay
Journalist
Ex-Gym Leader
@oscar
Falling Hard
263 height
263 height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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618 posts
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Billi Marsh
Messages from Family
POSTED ON Oct 18, 2020 3:03:56 GMT
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The sheets never seemed to keep him warm anymore, the air was always cold, his heart was cold, his pokemon were cold. Even his Yamper was an AC unit as it desperately tried to get his master up off the bed and spark some joy. But alas it failed as he remained curled up on his body pillow, tears streaming down his face. Everything was hitting him at once. It was a week after the war...and it was even harder to process. People on meat hooks, two people crushed to death above him, and that was only the beginning. Other pokemon met their grim fate with the humans, all while Billi was selfishly saved.



It just hurt like getting crushed by those tentacles over and over again. Each time he’d close his eyes the visage of blood rain and the crushing, cracking of his bones rendered before his eyes. Then he’d tried to eat, but be turned off by the scent of meat. Bodies would appear in his head, the trainers he’d met with their head on his plate or a hand in his burger patty. At the time screaming and crying was impossible, but now all he could do was drown in the black sea of toxic memories and emotions. No one was there to comfort him, because let’s face it, they all had the same thing going on. Oscar wasn’t responding to texts, he never did, Alexei and Selena were busy with the gym and league….gym leaders you know.



Then there was Billi alone, laying in his bed. Unable to sleep, unable to eat and only able to scream into his pillow and wonder why everything in his life fades away and crumbles. “ MOM” he screeched into the pillow, his tears pouring out as he turned to have his tears drip on his rotom, who frowned, but showed he had one message. It must have been from oscar, but...it was an unknown number, yeah probably Oscar.



Click.



Rotom went hologram form and there was his mom. Sitting in the video file with her brunette hair pulled to the site, her ghostly blue eyes, perfect tan skin, and expensive looking jewelry, clearly it was a night she was busy with league work. The blue eyes stared at the camera, but appeared to be staring more at the person watching it. She seemed genuine even if she had a glass of whiskey in her hand. Billi went silent as he remembered the night she left in this outfit. “Hello Billi,” it paused giving her a genuine loving smile. “I suppose if you’re watching this it means I’m gone and Razzberry has decided it was time for you to watch this video,” Billi couldn’t believe the rotom would hide this from him for this long.



Her delicate hand moved to adjust her hair as if she was a rich socialite. “I hope Razzberry has been as good to you as he has been for me and your uncle who died when I was young.” Billi loudly cried as the tears poured harder, “Mom! Hey mom!” he yelled out, but no response because it was a recording. All the pokemon in the home gathered to watch the video, keeping close to Billi, even the spiders who were too large to sit on Billi’s bed joined in. The woman's motherly smile peeled on her lips, showing the vulnerable side that Billi had never seen before, “you know, you’re named after your uncle Billi. I lost him when I was a little girl,” she paused, crying some, “And he was my friend, and he left me Razzberry. So I really hope you love him like he has unconditionally loved us. You’re spirit Billi,” Billi squeezed his yamper as the recording contuined.



“Is so much like him. I always raised you to never let people walk all over you….but you always let them. I can understand why,” she frowned, “and that’s my fault...that’s what you get from me. ha” she smirked crying some more, “But you know….It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be human. To make mistakes, to trust people, and that is why. I promised you when you were born, that your life would be better, and I feel….I’ve given you the foundation of love, I’ve given you all of me, and your sister to,” wiped away her running mascara.



“Even while I’m recording this...I’m dying. I’ve been dying for years. The medicine is just to make me comfortable, but all I need to make the pain go away is my babies. And I can die happy knowing I’ve given you the happiest life ever, and I’ve gifted you to someone special who you love and loves you back.” the women took a deep breath, fighting her tears. “As a gym leader I’ve protected you against the gangs that have hunted me, that have gone and hurt people.” Billi’s pillow was soaked with his tears.



“Just….remember in those hard times without me… That at least you're alive. Out of everything that has happened to you, you're alive. My baby is alive. So live. And remember those who’ve passed, hold them in your heart, and never forget the good memories. Be. Your self Billi. I know it’s hard. I cry alone every night, but when I see your smile every morning, I remember…..it’s all worth it. And that’s what you do for people, that’s what you’ve done for me. And I will. Always love you, my baby blue, Billi.” the message cut out to a loud bang and was cut off.



Rotom turned off, and Billi was silent. Comforted, but knowing….that was the night he got the news of her going into critical condition. And a week later, she had passed. His heart ached and pained and adrenaline was putting it into a panic attack. Why was his mom so sweet, why wasn’t she here with him. But...he did close his eyes and hold his pokemon close. It washed...something away. The guilt. The guilt was purified as his mother took away the sin of feeling useless. “Just close your eyes the sun is going down. You’ll be alright. No one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I’ll be safe and sound.” mums lullaby sung him to sleep.



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played by

Window

Billi
He/Him
Twenty-One
August 29th
Spikemouth, Galar
Gay
Journalist
Ex-Gym Leader
@oscar
Falling Hard
263 height
263 height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
618 posts
Billi Marsh DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @billi
Billi Marsh
Messages from Family
POSTED ON Nov 20, 2020 1:26:19 GMT
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Looking for a cure

for a callous heart

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