GOD
He/Him
41
December 25th
Spikemunth
Northeast
Monster
Rocket Beast
I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.
TAG WITH @shredzeppelin
Shred
CLAMPERL DIVING (CARNIVAL)
POSTED ON Aug 24, 2023 22:54:43 GMT
"...I don't get it."
"What is there to get?" You glance over to your motley crue of would-be lifeguards, towards Salandit and Doublade and Quagsire. They're all hunched over, sitting or hovering or laying atop a nearby cluster of rocks. Meanwhile, you're knee-deep in seawater, peering through the murk, trying to figure out if you should have taken off your trousers before you waded this far in. "I dive in, I get things. It's easy."
"Like, for free?"
"Yeah, they just dump shit in here, and if you fish it out, you get to keep it." You further elaborate. "They don't even make you pay for it! We're basically stealing from them."
"B-but it's not actually stealing, right?"
"God, you're such a dork, you know that? Yeah, yeah, it's not ACTUAL stealing... Doublade, what do you think, jacket or no?"
"HARK! Such a silly question! The dashing hero cannot rightly take the spotlight if he isn't clad in his most regal attire! It is your veritable armour against the hazards of the underwaters. Verily, if thou are to avoid the perils of the used car batteries and dormant sea mines, then I would most recommend retaining thy garb."
"Mm. Good point." You nod, tuning a solid eighty percent of that out. You hadn't really thought about it, though. Did they actually clear this out before setting it all up? You're not going to go under and end up detonating some misfired missile, are you? And are you willing to take that risk just to get some cheap prizes that are worth, realistically, a couple of pokedollars at most? And is there any way you can answer that question that doesn't make you sound riddled by poverty and strife? "Alright, you know the plan. Quagsire, if I'm not back up in five minutes, come for me. Until then, just make sure nobody snatches my phone. Got it?"
"Got it, Zhrep Shreddlin!" The axlotl cheerily replies with a wave. Or, well, more accurately, he's replying with QUAG QUAG SIRE!, but you're doing a little interpreting here. Simple stuff, really. It's a wonder more people can't figure this out. "Have a goodly swim!"
With one last thumbs up, you take one last deep gasp of breath, before diving into the sea to claim your lost treasures.
"So, uh, he thinks he can hear Quagsire now, too...?"
"Oho, do not worry, little peasant boy! This matter is beyond humble stagehands such as you and I."
"A-ah. Yeah. Okay..."
eqMY|iFZ 2 - Pokeball, the worst role possible and proof that God himself is furious at my indolence and plotting to bring retribution to my homestead.
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