MARCH UPDATE

POSTED ON Aug 7, 2019 15:31:24 GMT

[attr="class","francie"]

"It varies from couples to couples, so I've heard... but for me?"

How did she dare to answer this?

"I've ... um, I've never had one so honestly, I'm not sure. People talk plenty about people they've been with and what they wished would have happened, but I don't have enough experience for that. I have, you know, what I would like in a partner but..."

For a moment, Francie decided to contemplate how to answer. She tapped her finger on her lip in thought, hummed, tilted her head back in forth in thought. She even went so far as to relax against the back of the hot springs and breathed deeply a few times.

"I think, a partner is somebody you can one hundred percent rely on, and I'd like to think this time around that's a person I can be-- I know it's somebody you are to me. A partner is somebody that stands beside you, no matter what-- different than relying on them, in my opinion. There are intimacies to it, sure." She blushes at this, unsure how not to. The idea of being intimate with Fernando has always made the girl blush.

"I expect honesty. I expect loyalty. I expect priority over others." She raised a hand. "Not over the business, because I know better, though I suppose it's a nice goal to set... i-if we were to seriously consider being a couple."

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POSTED ON Aug 8, 2019 4:45:32 GMT

[attr="class","spiral"] 'one hundred percent rely on.'

well, that explains a lot. there's a reason fernando's never had a special other and having that be the defining trait between partners is what makes him incompatible. to trust someone is to believe in them and fernando believes in one thing, human nature — fallible, flawed, something that no one should rely on. trust is one thing but dependence is another. no wonder he's single.

honesty. loyalty. priority, all things that he cannot give nor will ever try to. he keeps his circle close and that means there's only one person fit for him; himself.

"i don't think i could live up to those expectations. not in my current position. not in the climate." not ever. words that he knows but will never admit. deceit, betrayal, and selfishness has brought him this far. to give them up would be incomprehensible. however, he'll keep the image of maintaining these traits.

"did you see that between us?"

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POSTED ON Aug 8, 2019 16:39:45 GMT

[attr="class","francie"]

Francie gives a nervous sort of laugh when Fernando asks her a question she'd been asking herself during her sort of 'Hoenn Hiatus.'

"No... it's partly why I left instead of asking anybody for help and protection so I could stay here. Selfishly enough, I needed space. I got in way over my head with you-- not that you repaid the favor or even lead me to believe there could be a possibility but..."

A small frown forms as she looks up at the sky. Better than looking at Fernando during the small moment of honest weakness.

"I suppose I just liked... the idea of you, which is ridiculous. I realized I liked you as a friend but you weren't very compatible as a person who would become a partner..."

Come to think of it, that person... no, she dare not think that and get in over her head again.

'kim cole-essam's just a friend, yes, right, good talk.' She tells herself before looking to Fernando.

"I'm sorry to have subjected you to pointless drama. I just sort of... wanted to take my shot at you, I guess." Even if she had been blatantly turned down.

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POSTED ON Aug 14, 2019 8:35:48 GMT

[attr="class","spiral"]"ah."

fernando sits there in silence absorbing her confession. there's nothing for him to say, no witty retort, no sage advice he can provide that will prove more helpful than simply listening. so he does, maintaining eye contact with her for as long as he can, to show that he's paying attention, until she breaks it to stare upwards and into the night sky.

"it gets harder once you're an adult — to foster meaningful relationships and seek out partners."

his eyes close and fernando leans against the various outcropping stones of the hotsprings. nestling against them holds him in place and he can loosen up a bit more, allowing the water to seep underneath and allow his to upperbody float. "but valor is the first step. do not be afraid to take the plunge."

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POSTED ON Aug 22, 2019 23:32:49 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","bodygoldd"]

[attr="class","bodygolddt"]
FERNANDO SILPH

[break][break]

"It was just as hard as an adolescent, in my opinion." [break][break]

Francie lets a laugh fall, smiling over at Fernando and letting out a small sigh. She's glad he isn't upset with her. Mostly because she wouldn't be able to take that sort of negativity from him... not that she figured he would be mad at her having emotions toward him. Though he did seem to get awkward there for a bit. [break][break]

"You know, you haven't really stated your side." [break][break]

She only realized, after her selfish rant, that he hadn't much spoken up aside from probing her with questions. [break][break]

"Did... well, I mean, did you think about us in that sense, or was I just a friend to you?" [break][break]

Unlike a few months ago, her tone indicated she was alright saying she was just a friend. A few months ago and she might have been upset by it. But now? Now she simply understood. Fernando just... wasn't the one for her, and that was perfectly fine.

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POSTED ON Aug 26, 2019 14:49:50 GMT

[attr="class","spiral"] "my side?"

fernando pauses, unsure how to phrase it. sometimes honesty is the best recourse but his choice words would mean more than his intentions. he treads lightly. "i like you, francie. you're a good person, at least that's my opinion on you. however, i don't think about anyone like that."

his eyes are downcast but only because he feels like he said something wrong. he knows he didn't but it still feels that way. he can only hope that her reception proves contrary. "maybe i'm just weird."

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POSTED ON Sept 1, 2019 15:26:43 GMT

[attr="class","ooc"]

"W-what? N-no!" Francie immediately throws her hands up to defend his words for him... to him? Whatever.

"It's not weird it makes total sense." It's unfortunate, but it makes sense. "I envy you, really. I wish I could just not feel toward people. Maybe I just have stronger emotions than even I realize... maybe I haven't found that 'special one' yet and I just confuse strong friendship for something that needs a title, you know?"

Or maybe she just wasn't making sense and she was just rambling. Also possible.

"Anyway, I don't think you're weird, Fernando, and I super appreciate your honesty."

There it was, finally, her beaming warm smile. She was truly happy, that they spoke through it, that she got everything out in the open. She only hoped he felt the same way; a bit more at ease, and maybe not weirded out by her straightforward and random proclamation of past emotions.

"I hope we can still have a friendship after all this." Her laughter bubbles through her words, like the heat through the spring water. "I don't want to lose our ability to enjoy breakfast and go exploring to be hindered by my random spouting of emotions."

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POSTED ON Jun 21, 2020 20:43:39 GMT

[attr="class","spiral"]"You think so?"

Fernando does not envy what he lacks. He understands how people develop crushes, how they value intimacy from infatuation from someone's kindness and affection. He finds the whole notion childish and irresponsible when factoring the reality of those emotions and where they come from. They're fleeting lapses of judgement stemming from chemical reactions in the brain. At least that's his shorthand explanation for it and because he addresses it like that, he avoids it. Does he wish he could fit in and feel that same kind of warmth? No. But he'll play it up because showing a lack of empathy is both concerning and frightening.

"No one stays in my life long enough for me to trust them like that."

Which makes sense considering his line of work and the recent war. Even the person Fernando favors the most has all but disappeared. While there's no issue with taking Francie up on her offer, having to confront these feelings is a risk Fernando's not willing to take. Mixing emotions on someone who he wants to use it an explosion waiting to happen.

Fernando lowers himself and laughs in earnest.

"Of course. I like you."

And the rest of the night sinks like his body, lost in the steam and heat.