After the events in Dewford, Makoto had practically been looming through the halls each day - waiting for that moment when they'd be given the all-clear to visit Howard. To see their dear friend. When the door had finally been opened to them, they had jumped on the opportunity; to be able to actually see him.

The sight they are met with, however, isn't pretty. Wrapped from head to toe, it is almost as though he were already dead... But the beep of the monitor and the faint sounds that escape him, as they settle in at the chair at his bedside, speak otherwise.

Makoto is quiet at first, as they stand vigil here. They do not want to disturb him - it is their hope that he's in some form of slumber or unconsciousness. They are sure he's in pain, from everything. Yet...

... It's quickly obvious that he's awake, and to some degree aware. Even as Howard's hand falls, when it reaches out to them, Makoto gently grasps it in both hands. They aren't sure whether to take the 'It's you' as a positive, negative, or somewhere in-between; but they nonetheless nod.

"It's me." They speak, forcing down a tremble that threatened to leak into their voice. Tears wouldn't help him, even if they feel a sense of grief and deep worry over his current state. "I'm here... Is... there anything, I could get you?"

They had brought their healer pokemon and ditto, who were still in pokeballs on their belt; they weren't sure if any of them would be able to help Howard, but if there was even the slightest possibility they'd ease his pain...

howard slayte

Makoto Kurumi was a gentle soul, and it was because of their gentleness that they'd be incapable of fulfilling his wish. In his callous commitment to fulfilling an objective, Amor Rose might have done it. In his monstrous visage, Tempest Quinn would have done if it there was no other choice.

"You poor thing. You're shaking." It was not just Makoto. A skeletal hand webbed with red veins shook as well. It trembled and shook at the exertion of raising an arm, even as Makoto clasped his hand between their own. "Do not worry. This dream will soon end."

An eye struggled to find the master of disguise. Cloudy redness impaired the pupil, leaving only the faintest vestiges of sight. Makoto's mask was free to fall.

It would, soon.

"How much more can you give me? I placed too much upon your shoulders." There is an army of doctors, Pokémon, and machines designed to ensure that the heart still beat, the lungs still breathed, and the brain still thought. There was little more Makoto could offer, beyond relief. "My poor illusionist."

A rattling breath.

"I want to die."

---

Makoto Kurumi

This dream will soon end? What does Howard mean by that? Makoto is unsure - but they'd still gently squeeze Howard's hand. Both to provide him that quiet reassurance that he wasn't alone, and to themself the reassurance that he was here and breathing. For however much that was worth, when he was in such terrible shape, at least.

But as he continues to speak, Makoto still can't help but find their heart twist with sympathy. "I... It's okay, Howard. Anything actually 'too much' I brought upon myself - not you." They spoke softly, gingerly. It was, in a sense, true. And, in addition to it all, they did it for him. Not Rocket - but him.

The wish for death, however, makes their grip on his hand tense a little. He was not in his right mind. The Dynergy - it played with one's head, even if it was easier to acknowledge that in hindsight than it was when it was in the moment. And Howard probably got a far higher dose of it than they ever did, having been at the heart of the whole thing.

Was he saying this with a lucid mind? And even if he was... They weren't sure how they'd even respond. There is an uncertain quiet as Makoto tries to consider their words - but they soon respond "Y-you... You're in a lot of pain, aren't you..." It's less a question, and more just a simple statement - one dripping with sympathy.

Were normal anesthetics not doing it for him? Or was one of the machines keeping him awake..?

They reluctantly pull one of their hands away - though the other remains wrapped around Howard's own - as they reach down to tap at one of the pokeballs. Out came their Unown - Himitsu - and they'd need not speak, for it to use Purify on the historian.

They hoped it'd provide some relief, even if only slight.

howard slayte

A dry, rattling gasp. A moan of anguish being dampened slightly. It was akin to covering a freezing animal with a paper-thin blanket during a snowstorm. It was inconsequential. Eternatus would not balk from something as paltry as a Purify.

Yet the action was enough. The knowledge that someone still cared was enough. Makoto cared.

"Thank you." His voice was fragile, soft, and brittle. It threatened to crack and crumble and fall, but it still remained. The masquerade needed to exist, as much for them as for him. If he broke now, then nobody would be able to look towards him and see an anchor. If he broke, where would Makoto Kurumi turn their gaze?

Who would guide Nebula? Who would ensure Amor Rose 's dream?

"I'm sorry." He trembled in pain and shame under Makoto's gaze. He was afraid to cry. "I'm so, so sorry."

He couldn't do it. He couldn't remain strong for this poor, shunned person who surrounded themselves with masked fools and liars and snakes in an attempt to recreate a group who cared for them.

A great failure.

"Stop looking at me... Look away... Not like this..."

Howard Slayte began to weep.

---

Makoto Kurumi

It was a paper-thin blanket; but it was better than nothing. Makoto took the improvement - even if only slight - as a good sign. They could add onto it - and there were still other effects to test, to see if they help him as well. "Of course," They respond to his gratitude with a gentle squeeze of his hand. "I... don't expect this to fix everything, but I plan to see what helps you most... Then have my Ditto join in with it."

The next out would be Tsukiko - "Wish, and Heal Bell." - and at Makoto's call, would immediately begin her work. She would eagerly Wish for Howard's wellbeing, a Heal Bell gently chiming out all the whilst.

But, as he begins to apologize, Makoto blinks. "You don't need to apologize... Th-there's nothing to apologize to me for, Howard..." They spoke. The things that happened in Dewford... They were sure it had been beyond his control, considering Regice's rampaging.

But before they could further comfort him, he was crying.

Howard's tears did not make him any less of a guide, or an anchor, in Makoto's eyes. To them, this show of weakness made them feel more at ease trusting in him, as much of an oxymoron as it might sound on the surface. He was not any of the Underbosses, who only smiled as false veneers, or when presented with the violence of a Shadow. He was not stoic and unfeeling, putting emotions and compassion aside for the glory of Rocket, either.

Howard was human - the most human, of the authorities within Rocket. And Makoto felt at ease being human in response. Their other hand grasped over his hand alongside the first, to give it another soft squeeze. And though a few tears of their own trickled down their cheeks... "Y-you... I'm here for you... I'm going to be h-here for you, and m-make up for the time I couldn't..."

The time in Dewford.

howard slayte

It was, ironically, the Wish that was the most effective.

Perhaps it was the working of fate, acknowledging the banality of what Howard desired. Yet the admin loathed the concept of fate. It disgusted him, because it implied that there was no meaning to any action that he or any other would take. If fate truly existed, then it meant that Makoto's empathy did not matter.

It would mean that Howard's dream did not matter.

It would mean that Makoto was kicked onto the streets for no reason at all.

It would mean that Amor had abandoned Makoto for no reason other than that it was fated to occur. Such a world was heartless and cruel.

Yet a wish was a human desire. To wish was to hope that tomorrow would be better, and that would not occur due to the benevolence of some distant or faraway god. Tomorrow would be brighter because Makoto would make it brighter. Howard would live slightly longer because Makoto demanded it of him.

There was no better recipient to a Wish than one who had wished upon a star.

"Ah." His vision cleared slightly, his voice rattling in his chest. "Makoto, you..."

It hurt to live. He did that. It hurt to smile. He did that too. He did not stop weeping red.

"Amor's protégé, through and through." The words echo to another time. "I want you to know that we're both proud of you, regardless of what happens to me."

---

Makoto Kurumi

Perhaps, there was a certain selfishness, in this. In doing everything they could to keep Howard living that little bit longer, however long it may be. When a animal is suffering - regardless of how good a human's care may be - sometimes the kindest thing one can do is to euthanize it.

But, Makoto wished - wished for Howard to be able to come back from this, from the sterile bandages and beeping machine. And it was Tsukiko who channeled this wish, as if she herself were a star.

The thief perked visibly, as they saw the effect that the Wish had on Howard - the clarity that seemed to come off of him, even through the tears that lingered on either person's face. Their own hope fluttered in their chest, as they saw him smile - and they smiled back, even as they had to sniffle a little.

The mention of Amor Rose, though - an echo of something that felt so long ago, yet wasn't in the grand scheme of things - makes other emotions stir in their chest.

They squeeze softly at Howard's hand between both of their own - before reaching with a hand for the tissues. They help wipe the tears from Howard's face, and they wipe the tears from their own. "I..." For a moment, they speak - but find their voice catching in their throat as they have to think for a second.

"..."

"... I-It... Wasn't any of our faults, that Amor left, right?" They asked softly.

(Unspoken goes the question of 'It wasn't my fault, was it?' that haunts at the back of their mind. For as much as they recognize it was a hallucination now, the words of the false Howard still dug deep.)

Knowing that Tsukiko's moves had a notable effect on Howard, they'd reach to let out their two Ditto - Obake and Bakemono - to let them transform into the fox. To offer their own Wishes up to Howard. Once the trio was hard at work to ease his pains, they returned to holding Howard's hand in both of their own.

howard slayte

There was a deep, thoughtful pause as the admin looked into their eyes,

"No. Amor realized that home is more important than this region. He had responsibilities to shoulder." He refused to let the tinge of bitterness at Amor leaving Rocket taint his words. Makoto deserved to have an unmarred picture of the man, not tainted by emotion. "He simply knew that you were enough to inherit his will."

The admin's eye softened.

"There is no need to fear. You are the former Head Scientist's hope, whether he is here or across the ocean or gone from the world entirely."

Even if that man had left the admin with an impossible task with a pile of impossible notes and distant dreams of seizing the divine. Why had he left them for home now? What had he experienced that had caused such a change?

It was easy to imagine that one of the three Wishes was Amor's. A childish thought, but there was an occasional need to delve into a stint of needless childishness. Howard sighed at Makoto, regarding them thoughtfully.

"Be proud." He clenched at their hands with impossible weakness, his fingers barely twitching. "Of what you can and will accomplish in his stead."

---

Makoto Kurumi

Makoto considers Howard's words. Takes comfort in them, letting it wash away the things that the false-Howard had brought forth in their mind. It stood to reason that, even if Hoenn was the epicenter of so much, that the ripple-effects could still reach outwards to the other regions of the world. That Amor worried for his home.

They hung tight to those beliefs - regardless of what the truth may be (even if it, in reality, was closer to the true Howard's words than the false) - cause they did not want to think that their friendships could be tarnished or rotten in any way. They wanted to believe that the few people they did let in, truly did have kind intentions for them.

Makoto smiled more gently, but warm. "... Thank you." They spoke. They weren't sure if they'd still be able to do anything science-related, but... There was still a hope that they'd be able to do something to help Nebula, all the same, right?

They continued to smile, even as a hue of shame leaked into their expression, and voice. Because they felt the need to at least address one last thing. "I... I'm sorry. T-that I had gone to Dewford, even when you had wanted me to avoid it..." That they had disobeyed his orders. "I was worried... Worried for you, mostly. I just... Wanted to make sure you were going to be okay."

But things had gone so much worse than that, hadn't it? They were simply thankful that Howard was still alive, despite it all.

"... I... Understand now, why you hadn't wanted me to go."

howard slayte

The warm moment faded. The admin's face turned grave in the faint light.

"I erred in my judgement, and I regret what happened to Dewford, but the threat of Eternatus continues to loom. I will not allow it to come to pass. Its power rots the mind and dulls the body, and even when you expunge it..." He attempted to flex a dying hand that came in contact with a star. "...it continues to kill you."

The knowledge was harrowing, but it was also humbling. Knowing that this was what it took to bring down a human. There was a limit to the amount that the flesh could withstand.

Eternatus could not shake humanity's will. They would win.

"I'm furious that you went. I'm furious that you disobeyed my order as your superior." Yet Makoto's smile was shameful. He could not dissuade them now. It was too late. "But you went. You survived. That is what matters."

His hand twitched in theirs. Weakness against strength.

"Do not do it again."

---

Makoto Kurumi

Makoto nods along in understanding, as Howard speaks of Eternatus' threat. They saw it firsthand - both what it could do to one's body, and one's mind. And even if they hadn't, Howard stood as an example of what it could do at its worst.

It was comforting, that he did not try to excuse the death that had happened then. It was comforting, that the concern he showed back then - in that restaurant - towards the threat that Eternatus could be was genuine.

But, there is a band-aid that had to be ripped off - and it came with the knowledge that Howard, indeed, was displeased that they had disobeyed him. It hurt, in a way they couldn't quite articulate. It made their heart twist in a painful fashion. They nodded. They took in a deep breath to swallow down those feelings - and for as bad as it had felt to essentially be scolded...

"... I don't... I don't think that I'd undo the decision I made, if I could..." They soon admitted - their voice a bit softer now. "I made it, cause I... Cause you're my friend... And I wanted to be there, for my friend."

They wondered if they'd do it again. They didn't want to worry or anger him - but they didn't want to stand by while he endangered himself, either; especially if this was the result.

Loyalty to a fault.

Instead, they'd shift the subject - shaking their head to themself a bit as they gave Howard's hand another squeeze. "Are you hungry? Thirsty...?" They asked. "I'm not sure if the doctors want you having anything, but... If you're okay to eat or drink something, and there's something you want, I could go get it for you."

They wanted to continue being there for him.

howard slayte

Friend.

Friend...?

FRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIENDFRIEND.

Dammit. His heart ached. It was like kicking a dog that had huddled by his foot for warmth. It was wrong to express discontent with Makoto, but they needed to understand the risks. His life was not worth theirs in this regard. If they died for his folly, then it would be another burden for him to carry.

They were already too heavy as it was.

"You do not deserve to suffer for my sins. Just let me handle it. Let me handle everything." He gave Makoto a weak smile. "It'll be fine."

Yet it didn't feel fine.

"I'd kill for a smoke. And some whiskey. And some painkillers." He chuckled and waved his hand awkwardly, with as much strength as he could muster. "Don't actually look for those. Pretty sure they'll throw whatever the hospital has me on out of whack."

His face fell, slightly.

"I'm more tired than anything, though there's not much to be done about that."

---

Makoto Kurumi

Liar, Makoto's mind whispered - no one man is an island.

But, rather than voice the accusation, they simply sighed - giving a faint smile back. "We're still teammates." They murmured simply - leaving it at that. They at least wanted him to understand that much.

The change of subject was a balm on the feelings that whirled in their chest, though. They couldn't help a soft laugh at the requests he jokingly made - nodding in response. He was right - they were sure that the alcohol especially would be bad with him. Didn't that tend to conflict with some medicine?

In any case, as Howard expressed feeling tired... "Are you having trouble sleeping?" They questioned, sympathetic. "If it won't mess anything up... I do have a pokemon with Spore."

They had figured that, all else failed, helping him sleep would be a relief from the pain in its own way - but they only brought that as a last resort. They much more preferred him being lucid and as pain-free as possible, if that was an option.

howard slayte