01.
[break]
scum.[break][break]
with no other name, you embrace it. your parents were no better, and you never thought otherwise
(the apple never fell far from the tree). the hate cycled. they never called you by your name; did you have a name? between the noise - the screams - you didn't pay attention. maybe you didn't
care. [break][break]
the streets were your home
(the home away from home, pressed to your mother's bosom and chilled with plastic tears). you didn't like the streets; it dirtied you. you were soiled and dragged through the mud more times over, with fading scratches as your only proof. of course you wouldn't remember. [break][break]
you don't see your parents often. you hide in your room, and sometimes sneak on their computer when they aren't home
(speaking to strangers, who you then call friends). your parents stay out late, and you know when to go to bed when you smell the reek of alcohol and musky smoke through the windows; not that they would be aware enough to catch you, even if you stand in their
paths. [break][break]
what did you even
want?[break][break]
you're kicked out for another night. you wander the park to take shelter under the structure; anywhere was comfier than the bed in
your room
(the same one you're locked out of so many nights; with an odd oder you never question and marks that stain your sheets). the doors are locked no matter how many times you try to knock, bash or
cry. they never respond. you stopped trying. [break][break]
02.
[break]
they
stopped.[break][break]
another night in the cold. your fingers turned blue, but it didn't freeze
(you were already frozen; warmth was unattainable). you were sullied, dirtied and frozen, so you hide under structures in parks like the
dirty child you were. you go home in the morning - the door's still locked. you see kids coming home with books and bags, with smiling faces and adults walking at their side. [break][break]
why couldn't
you have that?[break][break]
you stay with another family one night. they are kind, and treat you well. there is no yelling. there is no kicking out. there is no working. you play your first console game there, and you have pancakes and maple syrup for the first time there. it was magical. it was a dream. it was a paradise. [break][break]
you didn't
want to wake up.[break][break]
03.
[break]
sirens.[break][break]
they blare outside. you slept on the porch, and see adults in blue holding your parents. you want to ask why, but they don't understand
(why couldn't they understand?) as they take your parents into the car. you're put into another car. you go somewhere far away. you never saw your parents after that. [break][break]
you're fostered by the same family who took you in for one night. [break][break]
you don't know what they want. you don't know why they were so kind, so happy
(housing a monster under their roof, wearing the skin of a young girl). you learned how to play house. you became family. [break][break]
you had a
family. [break][break]
04.
[break]
so why did you
betray them?[break][break]
no, betray is a strong word. you grew up and left, but you had no money and no leads. you were at a loss. you wander looking for honest work; you try
(you do, but the stains of your sins weigh on your shoulders these years and many more to come). you wander and talk. you make bad choices, hang out with the bad people. you take all the wrong turns, all the wrong paths, and find yourself back to the streets
(disgusting rat, crawling back to your home). [break][break]
this is how you live. [break][break]
exploiting, and cheating, and hurting and
sullying; this is the life you are familiar with. [break][break]
05.
[break]
you'll get
caught. [break][break]
you don't want to get caught. you don't want to face them, with your dirtied hands and tainted heart
(your sins will be taken to your grave, so long as you hide behind an intricate mask). you're
scared; scared they will reject you. you don't want to end up alone again, but you've gone too far to turn back. you will continue. [break][break]
the eyes and strings dangling over you show no other path. [break][break]
you need to be safe. working alone is dangerous, you know this
(you take your parents as examples; failures and self-conceited to the end). you settle down in hoenn and join rocket. you dare not bring harm to your family. you work for team rocket, even after they disband. you are with them, because you feel like you have nowhere else to go. [break][break]
you still feel
alone. [break][break]
you're stupid for this, because they love you.