jazz.

[break]
a musician.
[break][break]

you've fallen from grace; you've lost your pride, dignity and all. you're a victim? no, you're the culprit of the turns your life has taken - and you take full responsibility. you were once known as synesthesia. you were a vocalist with a heavenly voice, and you would tour around after starting from your childhood. you were born into this. your parents were actors; it was only natural you were supposed to grow up like them. if you'd only listened. if you'd only listened, fame and fortune would be but at your fingertips. [break][break]

but you didn't.

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chill.

[break]
the fame.
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your life wasn't your own (it never was your own, was it? between the cameras, the lights and the news. you lived for the headlines). they were glamorous and revelled in the spotlight. you? not so much. you never liked the limelight and you never liked the attention. sometimes, you liked being alone in the privacy. you were shy, and this mix effectively turned this into a living hell for you. your parents would tell you how to act outside. be cute, be polite.[break][break]

pose with mommy and daddy, kiss our cheeks. oh, but not at home. at home, mommy and daddy are never home. mommy and daddy never knew how to be a mommy and daddy.

[break][break]

low-fi.

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you hated it.
[break][break]

no, you didn't hate it. you loved singing, with a passion. it was a hobby; it was something you liked to do. you didn't want your parents to find out. [break][break]

but they found out, and you regret it. they put you into the limelight. you didn't like it, at all. not at first, because there were so many eyes on you. but as you grow up, you ease into it. you grow to like the limelight, as long as the news and cameras didn't try to find a way into your bedroom. you were okay with this, as long as you were taken care of an careful. [break][break]

but mommy and daddy still don't look your way. they pat your back, but you want a family. an actual family. you want a normal family. you grow to want a normal family, more than anything. you drown this in attention and singing. maybe the love of fans can fill the empty void. [break][break]

it doesn't.

[break][break]

traditional.

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you can't.
[break][break]

you make bad decisions? you've made horrible decisions. you rebel and go out. you create scandals and you cause trouble. you thrash, and scream and cry; you do all the things you never did as a child. you weren't scared anymore (you should have been). you drown it out (in the sounds in the club, under the laughter and bottles) and party like your life depended on it. why would you go on a journey when everything you'd ever want is right here? you neglect your pokemon(you treat them the same way your parents treated you; you thought this had to be love). [break][break]

no wonder they didn't listen to you, either. you would get angry; you lash out.

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trap.

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then you met him.
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who was he? no one important. a fan of yours; obsessed. posters litter a dirtied room's walls - why did you agree to come? you were drunk and he followed (he always followed, day and night) then brought you home. you didn't know what was happening, but you were getting love. yes, maybe this is the love you were looking for. maybe, perhaps, this will fill the void in your heart. it fills nothing but your body, and your heart still feels cold as ever. you leave. [break][break]

and he grabs you. you cry, tell him to stop, but he doesn't.[break][break]

he doesn't stop even through morning.

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electronic.

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news spreads.
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you were attacked? no one cares. your parents care little about what happened to you; you dragged the name through the mud. you'd ruined their publicity, so they scrapped you. [break][break]

you should have listened. [break][break]

you go to the news. you try to talk to them; they don't listen. they twist the story; you slept with other people around. he comes out and says you conned him into sleeping with him. you take advantage of guys, you slept left and right. this was true; because you wanted to fill the void in your heart. you'll never fill it now. not now. you're kicked out and ridiculed. you've fallen from grace; there is nothing to save you now. you still claw (your itch for love has yet to be scratched). attention, you needed it. it was a drug (stronger than love, stronger than your regret). you know you shouldn't do it, but you do. [break][break]

and as a result, you kill the stillborn baby.

[break][break]

bass.

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you're devastated.
[break][break]

the media is devastated, and your family is disappointed. you killed a child in your immature rebellion. spoiled, bratty and rebellious; there was nothing left for you here. you are tossed to the streets and your pokemon are taken away. you can do nothing else but to mope an cry on the streets. you've resorted to couch surfing (bed to bed, and gone by morning). you've lost all hope in the hole being filled, now. you've been cut down, laid to waste and you know there is no one else to blame. [break][break]

you shut down. you are famished. three long years on your own; it's only now where you see how worthless you are. you're a mess, you're aware. when was the last time you bathed? the days are all the same (the same grief, the same regret, the same, desperate attention to get high away from the hatred). you've had enough and you go to the sea. you hope that the waters will wash away your regrets. [break][break]

you forget the pokemon by you; always standing by you in these harsh three years.

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future.

[break]
it does.
[break][break]

not in the way you planned; you wake up on the shores of hoenn. you don't know your name, and you don't know your identity. you can barely talk. your head is bleeding - did you do something for it to bleed? the world was getting distant and whoozy. was that a voice in the distance? you can't make it out. you fall into the sand. [break][break]

you wake up, once again. white walls and a white bed, and a white floor. you have bandages and you wear a hospital gown. you are given help and you are sheltered. you rediscover singing, and you've fallen in love all over again. your head hurts and you can't remember (you forget a name minutes after being told; sometimes you even forget the one you gave yourself). [break][break]

they remember, you don't. they hope you never remember.