MARCH UPDATE

POSTED ON May 17, 2020 19:29:04 GMT

it is not what he wants to hear but rather something that she needs to hear. the news article is catalyst to start a fire and his question ignites it. there's rage in her eyes, rage that's familiar, and it overpowers her. for moments, she loses control. but he's there to help guide her.

"i'm sorry."

it comes out genuine; possibly the most genuine he's been since they met. but what he says next trumps it.

"i am no stranger to guilt, miss silph, so trust me when i say that i understand. guilt can drown a person. it's heavy. it's suffocating. it's incessant."

there's a similar fire that burns within him; it's dim, weak, more controlled perhaps, but it's still there. he looks to offer her guidance in the form of words. he wants to help her regain some form of control.

"but you have to learn to forgive yourself, miss silph. because if you don't, then you'll drown."

Stormy Silph

close tab

played by

castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

awards

3,978 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @stormy

POSTED ON May 17, 2020 19:59:35 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","kcontain"]

[attr="class","kheaderbig"]

[attr="class","kthread"][attr="class","league"]

He says he's sorry and she clenches her scalp, choking on the pain she's feeling. Tears slip between her fingers and dampen her cheeks. They fall to her pants, darkening the fabric. It's a visual representation of her torment, of the spiral she's found herself in. She's been falling for so long and perhaps now she's finally found the bottom.[break][break]

It's as if he's given her a window to breathe before snuffing it out. Stormy looks up from her tear-streaked face to watch him say exactly what she doesn't want to hear. He's asking her to trust him, trying to make her believe that he's speaking from experience. And yet, she has no idea who this man is or what he's gone through, so she feels no trust, sees no reason to believe him.[break][break]

But she sees the dim fire in his eyes and it seems to temper her own. She finds a moment to breathe, to suck in the rage that boils in her veins. It begins to cool as she anxiously strokes the fabric of the couch, focusing on the texture, on anything but her emotions.[break][break]

"Forgive myself? How am I supposed to do that? How.. am I supposed to do that..."[break][break]

Her voice gives way to a whisper as she sucks in another sob, forcing herself not to cry in front of a complete stranger. Her voice shakes as she sucks in her breath, as she consciously focuses on the in and out of her breathing.

[break][break]

[attr="class,"divide"]

[break]

[attr="class","notes"]notes: ...

[attr="class","tag"]@matteo

template by kay

[newclass=.kcontain]width:350px;height:auto;border:solid 1px #1a1a1a;[/newclass]
[newclass=.kheaderbig]width:350px;height:215px;overflow-x:hidden;overflow-y:hidden;border-bottom:solid 1px #1a1a1a;overflow:hidden;text-align:right;[/newclass]
[newclass=.team2]width:auto;height:auto;padding:5px;background-color:#212121;opacity:0.9;transition:all .5s;text-align:right;[/newclass]

[newclass=.party:hover]filter:grayscale(0%) brightness(100%) contrast(100%);transition:all .5s;[/newclass]
[newclass=.active]width:30px;filter:grayscale(0%) brightness(100%) contrast(100%);[/newclass]
[newclass=.kthread]width:309px;float:top;background-color:#212121;font-family:monospace;font-size:10px;text-align:justify;letter-spacing:-.1px;padding:20px;color:#999999;[/newclass]
[newclass=.faction b]font-weight:bold;color:#4d72a0;[/newclass]
[newclass=.rocket b]font-weight:bold;color:#716075;[/newclass]
[newclass=.league b]font-weight:bold;color:#dea02c;[/newclass]
[newclass=.tag]padding:4px;background-color:#1a1a1a;font-size:5pt;color:#999999;[/newclass]
[newclass=.divide]width:auto;height:1px;border-bottom:solid 1px #1a1a1a;text-transform:lowercase;[/newclass]
[newclass=.notes]font-size:8px;[/newclass]

close tab

played by

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

0 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @Deleted

POSTED ON May 18, 2020 18:19:37 GMT

rage starts to subside and he's allowed a moment to breathe. silence overtakes them for a moment marred only by the stroking of fabric. her voice breaks into a whisper; more gentle in nature as she attempts to regain control.

"most people deserve to be forgiven and you are no different, miss silph. accept the guilt, accept the pain, and allow yourself to be forgiven. it won't be easy, but that's part of the reason why i'm here." he pauses before allowing a smile. "to help you."

only then does he finally shift forward in his chair for the paper on the coffee table. he flips it back into the file and closes it. he breathes a soft sigh before moving the file to a table off to the side, right underneath a lamp. he turns back to her after.

"when you're ready, i'd like to hear what happened in the warehouse."

Stormy Silph

close tab

played by

castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

awards

3,978 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @stormy

POSTED ON May 19, 2020 4:09:54 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","kcontain"]

[attr="class","kheaderbig"]

[attr="class","kthread"][attr="class","league"]

Stormy finds herself angrily wiping away tears, eventually sighing as she uses both hands to brush the tears out from under her eyes. She's regained her control, put a handle on her anger. [break][break]

"Do they deserve to be forgiven?"[break][break]

She searches for his gaze then, eyes searching, glassy, fighting back the pain that swims just below the surface. She's full of conflict, unsure if she should feel guilty or not for what she had done. She knew that the people she had met weren't responsible for her parents murder - but it hadn't stopped her from acting with the same rage she'd have if she ever met the person responsible.[break][break]

"What if the pain is the only thing that's kept me going?"[break][break]

Matteo reaches for the paper on the table but it doesn't give her any relief. The paper still exists. The League's evident opinion of her still exists. They don't trust her, perhaps they never would again. That's why she was here, after all, wasn't it?[break][break]

But then there's a tight squeeze in her chest as he brings up the warehouse, and she quickly averts her gaze. Her lip quivers and she squeezes her eyes shut as her heart races. Just thinking about it brought back the nightmares, the memories, the horror. The pain in her leg was nothing compared to the ache in her chest when she'd held the massacred body of her Torkoal in her arms.[break][break]

"It all happened so fast, I-I-I... I don't really remember."[break][break]

A lie.

[break][break]

[attr="class,"divide"]

[break]

[attr="class","notes"]notes: ...

[attr="class","tag"]@matteo

template by kay

close tab

played by

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

0 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @Deleted

POSTED ON May 19, 2020 18:17:21 GMT

all he knows of her past is from her file and though there isn't a lot, there's enough to give him a clearer picture of who he's talking to. "most people are." he replies truthfully. "but i'm not sure." he doesn't ask her the same because he already knows her answer. it's the reason why her rage burns so intensely.

"pain can be a powerful motivator, as can revenge, but both aren't sustainable and both will only further damage."

experience seeps through his words as he speaks.

"i would suggest finding something else, miss silph. it doesn't have to be big; it can be something small, like looking forward to having dinner with a friend."

a slight shift happens at the mention of the warehouse and he picks up on it. it's his job to. "it's okay," he reassures. he narrows his eyes slightly, surmising, before asking his next question. "how well have you been sleeping?"

Stormy Silph

close tab

played by

castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

awards

3,978 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @stormy

POSTED ON May 20, 2020 4:33:07 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","kcontain"]

[attr="class","kheaderbig"]

[attr="class","kthread"][attr="class","league"]

He speaks what is probably the truth, a trained reaction, an expert opinion. And yet she doesn't know how to reply or perhaps chooses not to. What is she supposed to say to that? She isn't willing to nod along with his statement. She knows how motivating pain is. She's been in pain for as long as she could remember. It's what's kept her pushing, moving forward, focused.[break][break]

"What else is there?"[break][break]

She interrupts him but he quickly answers her question with the rest of his thought and she scoffs. Looking forward to dinner with a friend. She could count on one hand the amount of friends she had who might still look at her. And none of them had the time to spare, too busy with their own problems and worries.[break][break]

But she trails off with her thoughts, clearly avoiding the discussion around the warehouse. Her hands shake and she buries them in her lap to keep herself steady.[break][break]

"Not well."

[break][break]

[attr="class,"divide"]

[break]

[attr="class","notes"]notes: ...

[attr="class","tag"]@matteo

template by kay

close tab

played by

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

0 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @Deleted

POSTED ON May 20, 2020 17:31:28 GMT

she scoffs and he understands why. when rage has been the only motivator it's difficult to find something else, let alone find something that's worth trying. he truly understands, which is why he doesn't press any further. he's said what needs to be said; all that's left is for stormy to decide what's best for her.

"can we try something?"

he slowly stands from his seat and motions over to the couch next to them. "please, lie down." he pulls a smaller chair close to it before stepping towards the door. without any warning, he steps out of the room and disappears for two minutes before finally returning with a musharna floating beside him.

"this is lucy. i'm not too sure how to phrase this better, but musharna and munna are known to eat dreams. she's helped a few patients with their nightmares before and so i thought she may be able to help you with yours."

he pauses as he takes a seat on the small chair by the couch. he leans forward, elbows resting on his thighs. a small moment of hesitation passes before he shares, "she's helped me with mine, too."

Stormy Silph

close tab

played by

castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

awards

3,978 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @stormy

POSTED ON May 21, 2020 2:52:55 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","kcontain"]

[attr="class","kheaderbig"]

[attr="class","kthread"][attr="class","league"]

Stormy sits with her cheek pressed to her shoulder, as if trying desperately not to cry by focusing on the smell of her perfume. But Matteo inquires, asks her a question she isn't sure she wants to know the explanation too, and she finds herself leaning away from him even though he leaves the room.[break][break]

When he returns, a Musharna hovers by his shoulder. The adorably pink Pokemon is relieving, but she feels an edge of uncertainty. She'd never encountered one herself, so she wasn't sure what to expect or assume. The man had earlier asked for her to lie down but she hadn't moved from her tense position on the couch.[break][break]

That is, until he introduces her to the Pokemon, and she feels herself relax just a little bit. He takes a seat and she begins to lie down slowly. Her expression remains pinched and uncomfortable, unsure whether to believe that a Pokemon was capable of, even temporarily, taking away her painful, terrifying dreams.[break][break]

Eventually, however, Stormy whispers out a request. There's fear in her voice, but a sense of pleading.[break][break]

"Will you sit with me? Please?"[break][break]

If he chose to sit next to her, she would search for his hand to squeeze as a self-soothing comfort for herself.

[break][break]

[attr="class,"divide"]

[break]

[attr="class","notes"]notes: ...

[attr="class","tag"]@matteo

template by kay

close tab

played by

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

0 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @Deleted

POSTED ON May 22, 2020 17:18:57 GMT

"of course."

he indulges her request and shifts over to the couch, positioning himself just on the edge of it. her hand searches for his and he allows her to find it because he understands how physical contact might help soothe her in the moment.

"you're going to feel a weight in your mind but there's no reason to panic. just close your eyes and try and relax."

a nod to lucy and moments later she starts emitting a hum of HYPNOSIS. the sound travels and soon stormy will fall into a slumber, perhaps the most peaceful one she's had in a while. when that happens, he will step away and return to his seat and wait.

it's always interesting to see it happen from this point of view. the more lucy probes into stormy's dreams the more prominent the pink mist around her becomes. she's searching through her dreams, her nightmares, and looks to eat the dark ones using DREAM EATER.

who knows what she'll find.

Stormy Silph

close tab

played by

castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

awards

3,978 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @stormy