"holy fuck, do i have a MECHA ARM?" she says as she trips into the warehouse behind melody, steel-blue gaze landing right on her mechanical likeness. she's built like a truck, like someone cut out a bunch of rectangles with steel and went 'eh, that'll work' whereas melody's figure is all curves and beautiful angles, adorned with bits and baubles. 

parker thinks her other self is fucking badass though. 

so no, melody, she has no clue what's going on here. mecha melody and mecha parker are standing beside each other, chins held high. mecha parker gives human parker a shit-eating grin and points and parker gives her a bigger shit-eating grin and points back. 

"I FORGOT HOW GOOD I LOOKED," says mechanical parker. 

"what do you mean forgot? don't you like, live here? or are you like a super old version of me? is this a looper scenario?"

first rule of a looper scenario: it's always a looper scenario. 

"YOU MEAN YOU DON'T REMEMBER?"

she looks at mecha melody. and then at human melody. "did both of 'em get bonked on the head or something? or like short circuit? maybe we gotta find their memory cores or some shit and they'll give us some secret key to the castle."

Melody Miro

☉

parker wouldn't mind leaving it well enough alone. parker wouldn't mind doing a 180 and walking a thousand miles in the opposite direction from the terrible snarling, snurfling, shrieking sound. it must be another monster and she hates monsters. 

at least this time she's armed with her mega friendship bracelet and the bathroom decorations that aren't actually cool rocks and are instead mega stones are strapped to her person. amulius has only gone all mega chicken once in his whole life, but she's pretty sure he's a master at it already. 

and deep within the mysterious jungle what awaits them is...

"oh." a whole flock of them, wheeling around in the air and sounding just like the terrible, awful doggos that have been terrorizing so many unlucky shits down here. 

"well, that's not so bad!" she says with a grin. 

Alba Evovae

☉

men are lost. men are irredeemable. men are ugly and wretched and everything that is wrong with everything. she doesn't understand how women lay there in bed and have bland, terrible sex once a week just because they haven't had their eyes opened to the Wonders of Women. 

she can't think of anything this man could say to her that would make her, in a million years, in a million different universes, want to jump his bones. not unless he's in some sort of chrysalis of gauze and he tugs off the bandages and it's like some bad porno where huge tits fall out and our ugly little caterpillar has turned into a beautiful womanly butterfly. 

maybe there's a florence pugh in him after all.

i want you to look at my nut.

or not. what she does, instantaneously, is flicker her stare down to his crotch and then back up, confused. angry. annoyed. on the verge of laughter again because he really is a lost fucking cause. or she's getting punked. 

and then she sees him. liquid steel oozing into shape, forming a brass nut for a head, one cheery black eye at the center, and she is horrified. absolutely disgusted. she recognizes the thing. of course she does. her face had been much the same when she had discovered nomi's fondness for eyeballs also stretched to these little creatures. 

but okay, it's waving and saying its name over and over again and it's actually kind of cute. 

"okay," she says. thinking. stalling. 

hell, if she had absolutely zero rizz, but talked about unown all day and night, nomi'd probably still have fallen for her. who's to say his scientist's weakness isn't...his nut?

"you're onto somethin', my man. there's hope for you yet."

Shred

☉

no, she absolutely does not fucking want to know what that sound is. this time she definitely heard it and usually when you hear crazy crying or screeching coming from a fantastical land of superpower crystals, one does the sane thing and says, fuck this shit i'm out. 

but cillian quinn isn't just anyone. cillian quinn isn't even himself. he is fucking rocket and what he wants, parker wants. what he needs, parker needs. if he says jump, parker does not say how high - she looks over the ledge and she swallows the bile rising in her throat and she gives a thumbs up and says, "fuck yeah, i wanna."

and then, more realistically, "i don't got a sygna suit. or a pokemon that can fly. or teleport. or, like, okay nomi's been getting on my case a little for it. i got a kommo-o though and he can prolly carry me bridal style, but i don't think he's happy with me right now 'cause i gave his extra treats to maisey."

she talks when she's nervous, okay?

Cillian Quinn
JCBC2wVB

☉

her iron boulder definitely thinks so. maybe she imagined it, but it didn't seem all too happy to have basically been keyed on the face and now that perfect chromium is scarred forever, jones style. 

whatever. she's just thankful he's more caught up on that than her almost-slip-up. she still has a love hate relationship with Isaac Merlo, but he'd inevitably crossed the line in the sand when parker looked at nomi and said 'fuck it, i'm all in.' 

if they're going to be damned, they might as well be damned together. 

"yeah, she said she was comin' down here. gods, she even offered me one of the fuckin' letters so i could teleport to her, but i was all like 'nooo, i can do this by myself!' and look at us now. almost getting squashed 'n run over and FUCK, SHE'S NOT HERE!" they're at the research station, alright, but it's a ghost town. 

there's some sort of high tech drill turned over on its side, waiting to be wielded by someone who knows what they're doing. it looks like it was set up meticulously and then consequently abandoned. 

ugh. one of the scout parties probably set it up before continuing onward (hey, she reads her reports sometimes, okay?)

she plops down and fishes for her water bottle.

"got everything y'need here? i'll stay a bit. make sure 'em machines don't come 'n fuck ya up. then i got a scientist to find. you're pretty chill, by the way, s'far as most rockets go."

Rhys Collins

☉

it feels too good to be true. she's staring at the money and thinking of how many faces she had to punch in to get it and then she's looking at nomi - gloriously naked, with bruises along her collarbone courtesy of parker's own lips - and she's thinking how did i get so lucky?

the jones don't have luck. the jones scrape shit off people's shoes and then have to squirrel back away to their hidey holes until something bigger and something meaner comes and forces them out. 

she doesn't realize, until this very moment, that she's been waiting for the other shoe to drop. all these years and she's waiting for the end - the same end that took her parents from her, as shitty as they were. 

and again she's looking at nomi and that bright, incandescent smile and she's thinking that's all for me. that's mine. 

so fortune and future and what-ifs be damned. she'll follow nomi into the dark if it kills her, but gods at least she'll die happy. 

"okay," she says and she closes the distance. she takes her in her arms and she spins her, laughing, saying, "okay, fuck yeah. fuck, let's go buy a house."

Naomi Sato

☉

well, it's probably why they're sending parker. they're sending him to do the actual important work. like getting the fancy schmany samples from the dirt so they can find out all the new and terrifying ways hoenn and its population are royally fucked. eh, but orders are orders and them's the brakes.

"yeah, maybe," she says and thinks oh, nomi, my sweet, you better be there. i'd hate to have to break all these toys down here before you get to play with them.

his exclamation makes her grin like a madwoman and she flexes her biceps haughtily before laughing and going, "fuck no. i mean, yeah, but the thing beat my ass and really it wasn't my bare hands. i was wearin' my brass knuckles. gottem as a gift from i- i gotta pee."

her brain catches up to her mouth. she looks at her partner. then at the bushes. then back at him. 

"nevermind."

something run them over. please. 

"hey-look-is-that-it-over-there?" she says in one long rush and traipses ahead.

Rhys Collins

☉

yo, maybe she should try that on nomi at home. she can see it now - she'll wait until she gets home from the lab and she'll obviously be shirtless and she'll languish there, by the kitchen, maybe with a beer or something in her hand (yeuck) and she'll say that. 

yeah, yeah, yeah. 

where the FUCK IS HER GIRLFRIEND?

she looks around when he tells her she's not half bad, as though nomi might materialize next to her. if only the unown had bestowed upon her a hotness radar that could attract her to her as long as parker was acting sexy enough. 

no, wait, that might make the bedroom stuff even more freaky. she's already pretty sure they eyeballs watch them, even if nomi promises they don't.

he says something about how it's not fair and her response is to cut in with a blunt, "is the gauze on your fingers too?" 'cause if he's got two fingers working, maybe she can work some magic for the unfortunate woman he's trying to bed. she'll just need to find, like, a pomegranate or something down here. 

it seems he's more of a hands-on learner anyway. he could literally just use the pick-up line she handed him, but he wants to do as he does, not as she...says? okay, whatever. she'll humor him. 

she stalks up to him, hips swinging, trying (and mostly failing) to be as effeminate as possible, and when she gets near enough, she tilts her head back and looks up at him as adoringly as she possibly can (half-snarling, brows furrowed, shoulders squared), and says, "tell me what you wanna do to me, baby."

and gods, she almost vomits.

Shred

☉

it, decidedly, likes this one and his strange accent. the fire pokemon's tongue lolls out of her mouth and ceruledge watches it with great interest. blue embers spark off of his armor and he looks her up and down, then back at the man. 

slowly, tentatively, cautiously, he cocks his own head and reaches with his fiery blades towards the man's bushy mustache. 

"AYO," parker calls, abandoning the scrabble game on her phone for the moment (Naomi Sato always wins because she tries her best to put words like 'butt' and 'fart' and nomi actually plays), and ceruledge draws back.

"we're trying to teach him manners today. i think. i dunno. sorry."

Gwyar Wledig

☉

oh, she remembers the song alright, but this time parker's not going to go breakdancing. she even brought some wired headphones with her this time if she needs to tuck them in. but of course, the one time she actually thinks ahead, she doesn't need them.

the music doesn't seem to be affecting her this time around.

through the steam cloud they go, with amulius' feathers growing darker from the dampness. fire sizzles along his wrists in preparation. 

the music takes them to an ornate facility, behemoth front doors somewhat ajar. parker shares a look with her partner and melody and nudges a toe in. the color drains from her face and she steps back out. 

"um...there are other you and me's in there. i don't think they saw me, though," she says. 

and a booming voice, distinctly, mechanically parker's, says:

"ENTER, PEASANTS!"

Melody Miro

☉

it can't be that bad. whatever he comes with cannot be worse than some of the obtuse and inane shit she's pulled in the past. and most of the time it worked! granted, she's, again, at least an eight and shred is hovering there at, errr...

he better come up with something good.

what'd she even say to nomi the first time they met? she wracks her brain and vaguely recalls talking shit about doctors or vets or something, but the specifics elude her in the way that long, long, long time ago memories do. which is weird, considering it hasn't been that long. 

then again, it doesn't sound like this is his first time talking to His Scientist. maybe they already have a rapport they can work off of? yeah, she can suggest that. after he finishes thinking real hard on it. 

"Hey babe, nice tits. You want a cigarette?"

she screams. she howls in laughter. she doubles over and almost pisses herself she's in such stitches. the absolute shock that comes from him in the aftermath only makes her roar louder. 

by the time she finally pieces herself together, she's crying and she's wiping at her tears and she's thinking straight people are actually insane. 

"dude, honestly, that might've worked on me if, like, florence pugh said it, but holy fuck. you stood there for five hours and that's what you fuckin' come up with."

she bursts out into a fit of giggles again, wiping her eyes, and forgets they're in one of the most dangerous areas of the region right now. (which is fine. the gods have said 'nothing stupid like the environment or the excursion prompts or arceus forbid, the rolls, can influence this thread in any way, shape, or form.)

"okay, fuck, okay. how 'bout this? something sciencey."

the smile drops, twisting to something sultry. she side-steps next to a tree, languishes an arm above her head against it, and looks up at him through her lashes. 

"hey, baby. you must've swallowed a magnet 'cause i'm so attracted to you right now."

Shred

☉

he sits on it. ruminates. she lets that settle in 'cause honestly she's got more important things to worry about and her feet are starting to kill her. how long has she been down here? is it always all sunny or glowy or whatever? what if, like, twenty years have passed and she just doesn't know it? 

the back of her brain itches something funny and she forgets the thought as quickly as it came, shoves her hands in her pockets, and keeps walking. 

actionable advice. okay.

parker can tell him a bunch of different ways to get laid, probably, but bagging someone as incredible as nomi? she still has no fucking clue how she did that. not really. 

he's also not giving her a lot to work with, which puts his chances substantially low - no, in the shitter. like, already in the shitter. or in the sewer. already flushed down the neglected toilet bowl and into the shit pipes where the ninja tirtouga live. 

"let's see your game," she suggests and she whirls, walks backwards so they're comfortably face to face while they walk. except, eugh, she trips almost immediately and then rights herself with a wolfish smile. 

"pretend i'm your gal. i gotta see what we're workin' with. so uhh, how's bout this?" and she mimics nomi the best she can.

"paradoxes are so cool! i love my bright blue letter and his name is ketchup and infinity energy is going to ruin everything and we gotta stop it now!"

Shred
TqROxRvz

☉

she'd take this weird mecha kingdom over any of the other ones, honestly. sure, the giant mechanical bird had been fucking terrifying that one time, but she and amulius scraped by with the help of some insanely talented ladies. 

and now she's gonna ride through that again with little miss melody miro. 

the first time she held her in her arms, she'd been simultaneously smitten and had the .exe has failed error screen flashing in her brain. 'cause duh, melody's a superstar and she's super hot, but now parker's a taken woman. 

still doesn't mean she can't appreciate her. and how nice she is. 

"i fuckin' hope so," she says. amulius does so too, and shows as much with a punching of his chicken fists together. 

Melody Miro

☉