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A dry huff exhales through her nose. “Nothing about me is worth admiring.”[break][break]

Blue looks up and away, gritting her teeth against the sting of the wounds he treats. He praises her, but she finds herself unable to accept these things about herself.[break][break]

And then— “we aren't going home, blue."[break][break]

Her anger flares again, and no matter how much she might respect Theo, there’s no withholding the baleful resentment that burns in her expression as she looks at him.[break][break]

She is too tired, though, for more yelling.[break][break]

She could twist away from the careful treatment. She could tear up out of her chair. Flip it over, break things. She wants to break everything around them because that is all she’s ever known to do with her hands.[break][break]

And the first time she begins to figure out they can maybe hold something precious, it is pulled away. Because she is here.[break][break]

So instead of yelling and tantruming, she presses her lips together before they can curl into a snarl.[break][break]

“You don’t know that, Theo.” Her hostility dampens under his hands, and as much as she’d like to sound argumentative, the words come out with a pitiful twist to them.[break][break]

Because she needs them to be true. “I don’t want to stay here.”

[break][break]

---

[break][break]

THEO BECKETT // throughout the time skip // rusted sword

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Her frustration is a palpable thing. A creature that sits on her shoulder and stokes the irritability under her skin until she paces like a trapped animal in an enclosure. There are no kind words for those she has been sent here with. Except for maybe Theo, but even if she spares him the bite of her anger out of some warped sense of respect, she doesn’t say much to him, either.[break][break]

What purpose would it serve? She allowed herself the chance to lower her defenses with someone else only days before following the order to assist. It has been yanked clean out of her hands now. What is the point in allowing reprieve or consolation around any other person? It will come back to bite her too.[break][break]

It’s been one month and time drags on at an infinitesimal crawl. She is not clever or intelligent enough to put together a way out. All she knows is that the effort to physically leave doesn’t allow them much. The leash is short, the enclosure is small.[break][break]

She wants to go home.[break][break]

She’s traveled Motostoke from end to end now because she doesn’t know how to stay still, but this is nothing new. It has always been an issue of hers. That restlessness riddles her with exhaustion that furthers the anger, and so she picks unnecessary fights. Doesn’t matter who or why, just that the scraps occur.[break][break]

During them, everything else becomes background noise. White static sound that doesn’t matter, so she doesn’t have to think. And then she slinks back to where she and Theo have hunkered down to sleep it off. Rinse, repeat.[break][break]

[break][break]

Time passes unbearably slow at first. The chip on her digs deep. Accepting the fact that she isn’t going anywhere fast is one that she chafes at. Helping Theo study the toxins and resources found around Motostoke isn’t exactly something that sparks her interest. It feels more like a struggle—she isn’t intellectually quick. Learning doesn’t come naturally, but when forced to slow her pace to something milder, it affords her the chance to learn.[break][break]

Before long, her hands learn to do something other than brace into fists.[break][break]

But as the bend rounds toward ten years, the war hammer sits—left alone and unused unless call truly rises for her to use it. Its meteor mash doesn’t charge up quite as often anymore. All that anger faded into tentative reluctance alongside Theo’s continual patience. Then it becomes some semblance of acceptance. Her tongues dulls into something that isn’t so sharp. In him, she finds more than a mentor—a companion and friend.[break][break]

It all comes in waves after that.[break][break]

Connection with others who found themselves in the old city aren’t threats to her anymore. She dances around a careful camaraderie with PENELOPE LIVY , the queen herself. Then others. She fights less, except for when the call rises for help. Then she retreats quietly—returning to the quiet and the comfort of the impossible life she’s somehow cobbled together.[break][break]

And for the first time in Blue’s life, she figures out what it means to rest. That unattainable feeling of calm settles like a balm on her bones. Smiles come easier. She doesn’t treat everything and anything like she’s a skittish creature on the verge of lashing out.[break][break]

No matter the time that passes, though, her only regret is that Shinra Moro isn’t there to see it.

[break][break]

[break][break]
[break][break]

---

[break][break]
THEO BECKETT [break]
tldr;[break]
+ restless and grieving angry the first few years. picks a lot of pointless fights, loses her eye like that? [break]
+ starts out the reluctant assistant to roomie, THEO BECKETT ’s studies on the poisons in the sludge in the dynite ores[break]
+ grows to like it and finds herself of actually learning discipline, though she still has a mad temper.[break]
+ always steps up to assist in the yearly fights against threats[break]
+ choice of weapon is a war hammer with meteor mash[break]

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She scowls in response to instruction, but complies all the same. Slouching forward, Blue all but collapses into the chair he points to.[break][break]

But her posture doesn’t relax. The tension doesn’t ease from her bones, not yet. Even in her sleep, she’s alert and running through whatever dream her mind fabricates.[break][break]

Blue has never truly known how to rest.[break][break]

The uncertainty of the world they remain stuck in amplifies it.[break][break]

She wishes she could be still like he is. Steady and mildly accepting of their lot. Theo takes to the circumstance better than she does. Part of her resents him for it, part of her is sick with jealousy.[break][break]

“No.” she grumbles back, eyes cutting away sullenly as she reluctantly allows him the opportunity to tend to her.[break][break]

There aren’t many she allows close. She can count them on one hand, and she’s still not certain where he falls just yet.


[break][break]

---

[break][break]

THEO BECKETT // throughout the time skip // rusted sword

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[attr="class","star2"] A pulse of some strange, foreign feeling fluttered in her heart and twisted it up when he admitted that he’d looked for her. “Yeah, I uh, I haven’t had much time to go back.” Blue chewed her lip, struggling to twist her words into adequate fibs that were just vague enough to be veiled by truth. He’d looked for her. He was sorry.[break][break]

“You remember who it is you’re talking to, right?” she asked in response, leaning back in her seat enough to look across the table at him. The awkward, bright smile diminished in favor of something crooked and self-deprecating.[break][break]

Her face remained warm, though, as she struggled to find words again because they felt soft and exposed. Not blunted by the lack of control that came with drinking. Just vulnerable and tender because for some reason, that was what she warped into whenever they were together.[break][break]

“That was months ago. It’s- I’m not mad.” There were no angry tears this time. Just flushed embarrassment as she admitted to the fact that she hadn’t been able to keep up with a grudge against him. After years of refusing to budge for those around her, she caved so easily. “I missed you too much.”[break][break]

It hadn’t been that she’d wanted to see him so much as she’d needed to. There had been a raw ache in her chest that no amount of work or violence had been able to stifle.

He was different than anyone else she’d known. A cool balm against the burn of her worse parts. He skewed her perceptions and changed her reactions just as much as she did for him.

Blue stood, the chair legs dragging against the floor tiles and startling Bonnie. The poochyena darted across the floor, sending her propelling into the snowy vulpix–spurring her into timid confidence.[break][break]

She didn’t know whether or not she should tell him about that game. The one that muddled her feelings more, and had caused so much distress when it didn’t turn out well. Would this be the same? She didn’t really know what to do now that she’d stood up. She wasn’t a clever, coy creature. She didn’t know how to play these games.

[break][break]

---

[break][break]

Shinra Moro // m: bond bridge

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Her frustration is a palpable thing. A creature that sits on her shoulder and stokes the irritability under her skin until she paces like a trapped animal in an enclosure. There are no kind words for those she has been sent here with. Except for maybe Theo, but even if she spares him the bite of her anger out of some warped sense of respect, she doesn’t say much to him, either.[break][break]

What purpose would it serve? She allowed herself the chance to lower her defenses with someone else only days before following the order to assist. It has been yanked clean out of her hands now. What is the point in allowing reprieve or consolation around any other person? It will come back to bite her too.[break][break]

It’s been one month and time drags on at an infinitesimal crawl. She is not clever or intelligent enough to put together a way out. All she knows is that the effort to physically leave doesn’t allow them much. The leash is short, the enclosure is small.[break][break]

She wants to go home.[break][break]

She’s traveled Motostoke from end to end now because she doesn’t know how to stay still, but this is nothing new. It has always been an issue of hers. That restlessness riddles her with exhaustion that furthers the anger, and so she picks unnecessary fights. Doesn’t matter who or why, just that the scraps occur.[break][break]

During them, everything else becomes background noise. White static sound that doesn’t matter, so she doesn’t have to think. And then she slinks back to where she and Theo have hunkered down to sleep it off. Rinse, repeat.[break][break]

Tonight is worse because she never gained an upper hand. Blood wicks down the side of her face from a split on her brow bone. Cracked knuckles and a fat lip sting in the cool air before she finds herself at the door. Stealth does little good because he’s still and composed and she is an unstable timebomb. Tonight is worse because when she catches his eye, she can’t bite her tongue and keep her surly quiet. “What?

[break][break]

---

[break][break]

THEO BECKETT // throughout the time skip // rusted sword

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[attr="class","star2"]Unlike Cain Toman , Blue isn’t eager to stay on the back of the naganadel, so when Theo descends, so does she. Eager to have her feet return to the earth, even if it’s only for a short period of time. Crystals embedded in the cave walls glitter and pique her curiosity. Maybe if she was more nature-inclined, she’d find herself in awe.[break][break]

Instead, her reaction is more akin to that of a greedy weasel, bent on picking up something shiny. Z-crystals Theo says, and that sails right over her head, but she picks up a few small pieces—both shiny and blackened—and shoves them in her jacket pocket.[break][break]

Mirroring his actions like a little, angry shadow.[break][break]

A few fall loose, though, and plop into what she thinks is a normal puddle. Until the liquid sizzles and absorbs the rocks with a noxious ferocity. Oh. Nope. Backtracking toward the overgrown bug again, she doesn’t protest when it’s time to roll out once more.[break][break]

But of course there’s more disarray when they return than when they had left. Poisoned Pokémon besiege Motostoke with relentless furor. Not that Blue expects them to do much about it. It’s not their problem, after all.[break][break]

So when THEO BECKETT insists they should help, it gives her pause, but enough to stop her from following the order. It simply clashes with what she’s come to understand of him.[breaK][break]

Her nidoking flies out of his pokeball once again, and descends into the fray as draco meteors hurtle downward. As with the sludge hand, he uses earth power on the heels of the earthquake unleashed by Cain Toman ’s golurk. Ripping up and disrupting already rocky ground under the feet of the incoming Pokémon.
[break][break]

[break][break]
[break][break]

---

[break][break]
THEO BECKETT Cain Toman [break]
tldr;[break]
+ blue also does her best to pocket some crystals. both good and defunct bc she doesn’t know the difference [break]
+ ok that was nice time to go back[break]
+ is slightly perplexed by THEO BECKETT ’s willingness to help[break]
+ nidoking uses earth power AGAIN!! hopefully in tandem with Cain’s earthquake to further unsteady the ground[break]
+10 to roll total = 35

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[attr="class","star2"] The tinkle of the bell toy was lost on her. Underneath her chair, she could sense Bonnie watching the vulpix with obvious interest. Her busy tail thumped against Blue’s ankle. But she was too timid to creep over to inspect the toy too. Not forward enough just yet.[break][break]

His words made her pause for a moment, head tilting confusedly. “Huh? Oh I wasn’t…” For all of her bluster and anger, and now matter how deep the chip on her shoulder was, Blue was actually terrible at holding petty grudges. The things that had damaged her and left scabbed over wounds were different. Mostly, though, she redirected anger at herself. Her temper burned out quickly, and she was admittedly a bit too dumb to hang onto squabbles and fights.[break][break]

That, and the loneliness had long outweighed it.[break][break]

Her face flooded with color at the admission. But unlike that night at the bar months ago, she couldn’t blame too many drinks. Weirdly enough, she didn’t want to do that, though. It didn’t make a lick of sense. The words she’d wanted to hear blazed through her with far more force than anticipated.[break][break]

Strangely, she felt the corners of her mouth tug upward. Childishly wide. She was…smiling? When was the last time that she’d smiled in a way that wasn’t dry or callous or cruel or sardonic? When had someone caused her to light up with only a few words?

Had that ever happened?[break][break]

Curiously, she poked at the corners of her mouth. Whatever effect Shinra thought she had on him, the reverse was just as profound. She never smiled like this for anyone. It was always an awkward, forced thing. No one cut through the anger and found something else underneath that wasn’t more violence or sadness or self-hatred. He’d passed through all of it. Until he was burrowed deep between her ribs like a sticking point.[break][break]

“I missed you too.” Her hands had fallen to her lap as she sat there watching him. Skittish and unsure of what to do next. But it felt like a relief to say as much no matter how terse or awkward she normally was. It was like breathing clean air for the first time in months.

[break][break]

---

[break][break]

Shinra Moro // m: bond bridge

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[attr="class","star2"] Guilt needled under her skin for having avoided him for as long as she had. Though in her defense, that was fully a two way street. It had stung being pushed away when she’d stupidly thought her choice would allow for the opposite. But that was how things worked with Blue. She never made the correct choices. And they always came back to bite her.[break][break]

She didn’t want things to feel weird. “Oh. Um, well that’s cool then..” How was she meant to take that information? Like it was a good thing, or like she was invading his sacred space? Silence swallowed them again, save for the sound of scraping forks until her outburst. The question he answered her with felt volumes louder than its quiet mutter, though.[break][break]

The words felt stuck in her throat. “I…” She swallowed, hunching in place and making herself smaller. Small like she felt. “I just wanted to…see you.” To confirm that it wouldn’t still be like that day in the silent icelands. Or like that game. The sting of rejection was still a needle dug deep under her skin, in a pressure point she couldn’t expel. She threw herself into work to feel numb. To let the anger and the rage take over for a while. But it was always still there afterward–a constant companion never leaving her own.[break][break]

This was worse than the loneliness that she’d known all her life. Maybe if he lost his temper again, it’d break whatever hold he had on her. That after months of avoidance, she still showed up here waiting for a welcome. Or an I wanted to see you too. All this time.[break][break]

Reluctantly, her eyes turned upward toward Shinra again–hesitant and stubbornly avoiding anything remotely close to hopeful. Because that was for suckers as she’d long come to learn. But maybe she should’ve known better, because she responded to him differently than anyone else, in any place she’d been. So she stared at him across the table, hushed and unmoving. Heart in her throat.

[break][break]

---

[break][break]

Shinra Moro // m: bond bridge

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Shinra yelled at her. All this time she hadn’t heard him shout, let alone raise his voice. And now it was leveled at her. Her temper lashed and her hands balled into fists at her sides. But when the feeling bubbled up, she didn’t shout back. She didn’t implode in that familiar, comfortable way. It would have been easier if that had happened. It would’ve made it easier to write him off as just someone else for her to feel let down by. Instead, she shrunk in the wake of it like a scolded animal. And stupidly, she felt her throat twist up. She wanted to push and shove him away. Pummel those fists against his chest until he took it back.[break][break]

Instead, she sucked in a sharp breath that hit the back of her throat and forced out a strangled sound because of the chill in the air. His rambling explanations went unanswered, uncontested. She didn’t fight back because clearly he’d already made his mind off, and it was so easy to shake her off. He got mad at her for shifting the parameters of their connection to make it simpler, but then it happened in the next breath without a second thought. Blue turned away, refusing to look his way as her arms folded tight and defensive around herself. Hot, angry tears brimmed on her eyelashes, which was confusing and infuriating all at once. “Yeah. Sure you are. Whatever, just go. It’s nothing new.”

[break][break]

catching shiny escavalier!

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@ Shinra Moro

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[attr="class","star2"] Blue had never been meek. Surly and quiet, yes, but never timid or shy. But the way she followed him around his apartment now screamed of that timidity. Like she was outside of herself, trying to figure out the best way to act.[break][break]

“Uhhh…” she stared down at the fork in her hand instead of at him, awkwardly poking at the tines. “Fine, I guess. Tired, busy.” Vague, but not a total lie. Most of the time when she wasn’t running some errand or using some ex-rocket as a punching bag until they gave her the answers that were needed, she was face down on her mattress. Out cold.[break][break]

Part of her missed the rings. Part of her missed the fact that she knew she might find him there.[break][break]

But she’d avoided them. Or most of the network in Slateport, anyway. Circles cropped up most places, if you knew where to look. Even if they weren’t as robust or successful as those in the grimy, oceanside city. Down by the docks where the airy was wet and briney, and you could practically taste the violence. It was nostalgic. It was better.[break][break]

She made do, though.[break][break]

And it had nothing to do with the fact that if she’d turned up, she’d seek him out with magnetic compulsion. Not at all. It felt weird, sitting at a table. Like she was in a restaurant. Best she had at home was the squat little coffee table she could only sit on the floor to eat at. And the kotatsu she'd practically scraped all her savings for her to have in winter. Curled underneath like a hibernating animal.[break][break]

Blue didn’t voice her opinion on the matter, though. Everything felt stilted and– “Why is this weird?” she blurted out, still staring down at the plate he’d put at her place moments before. Her place. For the first time, she had one. So why did it feel weird? Like all this time she’d been erased from the picture, like the Shinra in that stupid ass game had wanted her to be.[break][break]

Frustrated and unwilling to say more, she twirled too many spicy noodles onto her fork and shoved them in her mouth (messily, at that.)

[break][break]

---

[break][break]

Shinra Moro // m: bond bridge

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Her eyes narrowed to ruby slivers, lip curling slightly though she forced herself to not bare her teeth. How strange it was to feel like she should try to temper herself. She’d never cared about what anyone said or thought of her anger, or her volatility. Unless they were in a position of authority over her. And Shinra wasn’t. Maybe at one point there’d been an air of it, but not anymore. So why did she bother to try? “I don’t think you get to decide how I say things, or how I mean them.”[break][break]

Unexpectedly, all of this hurt. She’d thought that maybe, if she could get it right just once, it’d be better. That he’d be pleased with her. She called him an idiot, but she felt like the fool. Her self-inflicted resentment swelled, inflating like a too full balloon near to bursting.[break][break]

You don’t exactly make logical sense.[break][break]

The words lanced through her. A rejection of sorts. The clear indicator that she was some sort of failed expectation, or subpar in stature. She’d thought that there were parts of them that were alike. It had felt that way at the bar. Drunk or not, she’d been sure of it. Blue didn’t deal in what was logical or not; she reacted to what provoked her emotions. All of them, even if it was chiefly her anger.[break][break]

“What does that even mean?” she finally barked, voice climbing as the remaining threads of her temper snapped. “Why should that matter? Who am I supposed to think you are?” puffs of angry breath hung in the air around her, brows pinched together as she stared up at him. Cheeks cold, but burning painfully.[break][break]

Every bit of her expectant. Demanding. Pleading?

[break][break]

catching shiny escavalier!

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@ Shinra Moro

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[attr="class","star2"] Blue definitely wasn’t offended by the fact that he didn’t come to the door to see her. That felt weirdly, uncomfortably sentimental. And she was already grappling with enough of that just by showing up. Instead, she was met with warm air wafting from the stove, and the smell of spices and everything being undeniably Shinra.[break][break]

Too quickly, she felt awkward. Having kicked her boots off by the door and peeled the leather jacket off her shoulders, Blue suddenly felt vulnerable in his space. Less able to quickly turn tail and bolt out the door. But the ache that came with seeing his face (or his back at first, she supposed,) was weirdly sharp and sweet at the same time.[break][break]

Like her heart mind didn’t know how to grapple with it. Like she didn’t want or know how to absorb the fact that this was what coming home felt like. Or what it was supposed to feel like. She didn’t know, she was pretty sure she’d never come home a day in her life.[break][break]

Her hands clasped together in front of her, fingers wringing knots of each other as she hesitated on what to do or say next. The words I missed you were too sticky on her tongue, in her throat.[break][break]

Thankfully, she was saved by his addition. “Yeah, I do.” She didn't add the fact that spicy food didn’t necessarily like her, and that her tolerance was pitiful, but she’d tough it out.

[break][break]

---

[break][break]

Shinra Moro // m: bond bridge

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