“How—how sure are you nobody was watching you?!” he continued to blurt out.

Oh, boy, he was fucking distressed at the audacity and the balls the way his friend was acting. How could he even have no shred of dignity, taking baths out in the wild where random adventuring people tended to—just wander around!

And then he had to bring up the most embarrassing question of all.

“What about—how do you manage your ‘you time’ in the wild?! Don’t you get attacked or something like that by anything that’s out there?!”

Another shot was poured and downed in one go; the better for him to try and calm down from his own panic. It was like, the higher his voice went, only Zubats would be able to hear him at that point.

Anyway…

“You’re absolutely sure you didn’t get into any illegal shit?” he continued sometime later, his voice going low for some reason despite them being the only people around—two fluffy Wooloos aside.

“You never know!” he screeched. He knew his voice was going up and this time, he would be the one whose voice could only be heard by any nearby Zubat.

The white-wooled Wooloo let out a sleepy bleat, enjoying the warmth from the bluenette before looking at Alexei and sticking his tongue out again just to spite him.

At the mention of going into detail, that was potentially dangerous because it was literally headed into the ‘too much information’ point.

“No!” he squealed, putting the empty shot glass down for a bit and remembering to smack his left palm against his face (he usually facepalmed with his right hand but since that was currently injured, yeah) before dragging it down.

He couldn’t help but have a mental eye roll moment as well.

The black-wooled Wooloo had apparently fallen asleep by Alexei’s left leg due to the warmth. Gee.

Seeing that Mattie was eyeing the bottle, he then picked it up once more and poured the bluenette another shot before pouring one for himself as well.

“Thank fuck,” he muttered as he took a sip from the shot glass. “I wouldn’t know what to do if—”

Wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

Alexei Nikolaevich, back the fuck up.

He then turned to his left and saw that the bluenette was dangerously close—and looking rather inebriated yet he was still requesting for another shot.

“Don’t tell me you were faking that you’ve got high tolerance when I was still a bartender…” he said with a sigh.

“Somehow I’m still not reassured of that, Mattie,” he gestured as he watched the bluenette take the shot before abandoning the glass on the table once it was empty.

What happened next was nothing short of absolutely—

If it were possible to transform into an emoji face, Alexei was pretty sure Mattie would be the :lenny: face right about now, what with the way the leg suddenly draped itself over his own.

“Hey, oof, watch out for the—” he gestured towards his right foot.

However it was the weight of the arm that draped itself across his chest that made the heavy sensation around his ears return once more!

For once he’d actually run out of things to say.

“L—look,” he managed to blurt out after a potentially awkward silence fell between them.

“…I’ve had a bad experience… someone I thought I could trust was… in their ranks. When I had to check. There was no trace of that person anywhere on official League records, and—”

Taking a deep breath, he was about to pour himself another shot when he decided to abandon his shot glass and just go straight from the bottle instead.

Liquid courage here we come.

“I—I wouldn’t want to have to a-arrest anyone else after… that debacle.”

He could only sigh.

Mattie was clearly drunk out of his mind—he could tell. Years of talking with so many people at the bar had already tipped him off on various people’s tells when they were already in the deep end of intoxication.

Shit, man, are you a lightweight or something?! he thought to himself as he felt the other’s weight suddenly shift onto him.

…and that made the pressure on the back of his ears intensify even further.

No, no, stop! You already swore off— he continued in the back of his mind, but what was he to do now? Just smash the walls apart? Not after he’d sworn to isolate himself from—

“What do you mean,” finally managed to say at last, before reacting afterward to the question thrown his way.

“What the hell are you saying, man? if you were a bad guy, I’d be dead or bleeding out in here and there would be no witnesses,” he said as he tried to move—to no avail.

“I mean…”

He was pretty sure the bluenette didn’t know. Only his drag son and by extension, a certain ex-Elite Four member knew of the secret outside of the members of his family that were here.

“…never mind,” he muttered as he took another drink before grabbing the remote with his injured hand. “Fuck,” he hissed as he lowered the TV volume.

“L-look, how’m I—going to get food if—”

If you’ve turned me into a giant pillow?! he finished the sentence in his head.

“Never mind,” were the next words out of his mouth.

Oh, he was right on the fact that everyone had their own tells while drunk. It was just that Mattie’s tell made him the clingy kind of drunk.

“I’ll get food in a bit. You should… rest for a while.”

Okay, was he subtly suggesting to the other to pass out on the couch while he scrambled around the kitchen doing everything one-handed? Yeah, pretty much. Thankfully there were some foods that could be made without overexerting himself so much.

“You’re hella drunk. No camping outdoors for you tonight.”

Was this a subtle invitation to stay the evening too? Maybe?!

The black-wooled Wooloo was already long asleep, and didn’t even budge (for this Wooloo slept like a rock) when the bluenette made to pick him up from the floor.

Now threatening to be drowned in Wooloo fur (of the normal and shiny variety) Alexei then chuckled softly as he looked at the idiot who proclaimed he wasn’t drunk (even if he so was) and smirked.

“You so are,” was all he could say.

He had to wait for the other to fall asleep so he could squirm away from the couch and make some food for them to eat…

…okay, his ears were definitely on fire now. But he shook that away as best as he could once he was certain the other was…

…no, he couldn’t be hearing things, but was Mattie snoring? If he was, it was a quiet kind of snoring. More like snuffling, but—

Alexei then wiggled away from the couch and hobbled to the kitchen, quickly moving around as fast and as quietly as he could to make some food for them to eat.

And hopefully the bluenette wouldn’t throw up afterward…