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POSTED ON Oct 28, 2022 23:18:32 GMT

Alexei Ivanov likes this

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He cocked his head and leaned in, listening intently as Alex recounted the tale of his exploration into that other, damned Fortree. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath until his chest started to feel tight.

Mattis.

He’d never met the man, personally. Just knew that, before himself, Mattis had been important to Alex. And that he was incredibly tall and incredibly gorgeous (he’d looked up pictures).

Memo wasn’t the kind to get jealous. But if he was…

He gave his head a little shake. That was neither here nor there. The point was, Mattis’ of all dimensions seemed to leave a mark on Alex, for good or ill.

”Oh.”

He set one hand on Alex’s thigh and squeezed, as though affirming that the other man was still here, still present, still veru much alive.

“That’s… that’s horrible.”

He had a million questions. Do you know how? Why didn’t Mattis do anything to save you? How do we stop it from happening here?

Instead, he says, “I’m… I’m sorry.”

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Alex / Lexy

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thirty

december 22

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POSTED ON Nov 3, 2022 16:30:02 GMT

There was no stopping him now.

Now that the other had asked about what really, truly happened in the other Fortree, he had unravel and tell the entire tale, even though he had a feeling the other might get jealous because…

“Look, Memo,” he began quietly once he’d finished his sandwich and returned his attention to the potato chips on the counter and munching on a few to stall for time. Mmm, who knew those truffle-flavored chips were tasty?

“Things. Shit… happened,” he tried again after he stammered himself into silence. This was definitely sticky territory at this point.

“I’ve known Mattie for… like, a very long time. Like from the time I first arrived here in Hoenn. We… we fell out of touch while I was bartending down at Slateport back then. And then he only resurfaced again, recently, but then disappeared once again.”

He… somehow, had a guess. But he wasn’t too sure.

“Anyway. The Matt of the other world told me… he told me, that. You know the big clown of an Ultra Beast that can supposedly eat buildings with a single chew?”

He was referring to Guzzlord, of course.

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Memo

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August 26

Spikemuth, Galar Region

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Ranger Captain

Elite Ranger

5'4" / 162 cm height

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POSTED ON Nov 6, 2022 2:44:26 GMT

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Memo tilted his head, quietly listening, letting Alex work it out, feel it out. He was trying to formulate whatever he was about to say in a way that wasn’t going to hurt Memo’s feelings, he could tell. It was endearing, how considerate he was being, where he could’ve just come out and been like yeah, I loved my ex-boyfriend, you know, the super hot one that came before you?

Memo blinked those thoughts silent.

He did make a face at the end of it, but probably not for the reason Alex thought.

“Ugh, Ultra Beasts,” he said, gagging a little. “No reason for them to exist, none at all.”

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Alex / Lexy

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POSTED ON Nov 10, 2022 20:02:48 GMT

“Most of them are terrifying, yes,” he nodded with a quiet agreement as he grabbed some more potato chips (for he had no sandwich left on his plate) to stall for some time.

Once he was done demolishing the chips he’d taken for himself, he sighed.

“Let me just say… Guzzlord apparently has an appetite for eating anything in its path. And that… that also includes… people.”

He sighed once more.

“B-basically…” he faltered, trying not to sink into this cesspool of panic he’d kept sealed away for so long, “…in that world, where I died, Matt—the other Mattie mentioned, that I’d apparently died trying to… to save people.”

He shuddered as he recounted the tale. The first time he’d heard it, all he could do was blink and stare at the blunette—not the bluenette he knew, but still.

“But see, the thing is…” he continued, managing to calm himself down despite everything, “…he mentioned something about. About the djinni. And me.”

That wasn’t too far from the truth, after all.

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Memo

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Spikemuth, Galar Region

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POSTED ON Nov 11, 2022 21:01:48 GMT

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Memo shuddered at the thought of a people-eating Ultra Beast. As though they could make them any worse, in some cruel twist of fate, they somehow had.

He can sense that Alex is starting to flounder, so he reaches for his hands, having to interrupt his snacking to do so. “Hey. It’s okay. You’re safe here.”

But for how long? A terrified little voice in his head piped, as he felt his own stomach swimming with fear at the idea of Alex being eaten.

“Of course you did,” he says, without really thinking, “I don’t think you’d go out any other way.”

He’s squeezing Alex’s hands without meaning to. Because he’s seriously about to start crying if he has to keep thinking about Alex dying.

“Wh-what do you mean?” he asks, partly for clarification and partly because he desperately needs the subject to change.

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Alex / Lexy

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POSTED ON Nov 13, 2022 20:22:26 GMT

He felt the steadying pressure on his hands, just as he was about to recede and run away screaming from the room. A reminder that they were here, in the right now, in the present.

Calming himself as much as possible (never mind if he could feel his panic inside his chest trying to escape) he steeled himself and gently returned the squeezing pressure with his own hands.

“He—that world’s Mattie said—I was fighting… alongside the djinni. And that… the other me, I’m pretty sure that’s what he said—literally flew off into the sky. Just. Flew. Like a bird. No wings, at all.”

The implications were there. They were fucking there!

“You think, out there… there’s a reality… that exists, where… where I’m… an Avatar?”

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Memo

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Spikemuth, Galar Region

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POSTED ON Nov 20, 2022 0:07:57 GMT

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The weight of what Alex settled in. Memo remembered Laurence Anderson’s intervention in Littleroot that saved his life.

“I mean, there obviously was,” Memo said, in response to Alex’s question, “for all the good it did you.” He’d gotten eaten, for god’s sakes. He tries not to wince at the nickname--Mattie-- and shakes his head a little.

“You don’t need to be an Avatar to protect and help people, Alex. You do enough of that just as you are.”

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Alex / Lexy

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POSTED ON Nov 24, 2022 20:20:44 GMT

“Just… as I am?”

He blinked at that proclamation.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough despite all that…” followed a few moments later. His inadequacy was rearing its ugly fucking head again.

“Am… do you think I’m trying to overcompensate?”

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Memo

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POSTED ON Nov 24, 2022 22:24:37 GMT

Alexei Ivanov likes this

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“Just as you are,” he confirmed, squeezing Alex’s hands. “You don’t need magical powers or a cranky legendary bitching in your ear to make you capable of great things.”

Memo found himself smiling, despite everything.

“You’re already doing so much as it is. What are you overcompensating for? Look at Fortree. Look at the Sanctuary. Look at all the people you’ve helped, the Pokemon. The sacrifices you’ve made. You’ve already done so much.”

Memo does, at times, get angry, when he thinks about all the sacrifices this region and its people have asked of Alex. All the pain and loss and loneliness it’s left him with. That he’s had to shoulder all of this on his own.

He presses his lips to the top of Alex’s knuckles, one hand after the other.

“You’re already incredible.”

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POSTED ON Nov 25, 2022 20:43:58 GMT

“Thank you,” he continued quietly, and this time he was the one trying to fight off the tears that were prickling at the edge of his field of vision.

“Thank you for believing in me… even if sometimes, I don’t believe in myself. I hate that I second-guess so much, and now this is happening to me I’m supposed to be keeping my own shit together for everyone but…”

He sighed.

“I just want to crack and unravel. Just. Want to not be responsible for a change. It’s… it’s frightening, you know? Staring down the fucking barrel of a gun and not knowing if it’s going to go off in your face and kill you or not.”

And then, he sniffled.

He wasn’t going to cry, he wasn’t going to cry…

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POSTED ON Nov 26, 2022 15:35:27 GMT

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“Baby, it’s like you always tell me,” Memo said, abandoning Alex’s hands to gently cup his face, thumbs spreading softly over the apples of his cheeks, “it’s okay to not have it all together all the time. Nobody’s a hundred percent confident a hundred percent of the time.”

Secretly he relished being able to toss some of Alex's profound wisdom back at him, like a Skwovet finding a cache of nuts it had stored for winter.

He scooched his chair closer and leaned up to press a kiss to the center of Alex’s forehead. Physical touch was always going to be his primary love language.

“I’m here for you,” he said, still holding Alex’s face, “and we’ll get through this, and everything else, together.”

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POSTED ON Dec 3, 2022 11:51:23 GMT

“I-I felt… I felt like an alien, intruding on that world’s Fortree—that world’s Hoenn,” he continued quietly, blinking away the tears that were threatening to pour out of his eyes and down his face.

“Everyone I recognized there… they were scared of me. Like… like they’d seen a-a ghost, or something.”

To be fair, he had a pretty general idea of how much news spread through that world’s Fortree, considering that the bluenette of that world was the one in charge and not that world’s version of…

“This… this happened before you came into my l-life, s-so… I’m sorry if I have to keep bringing up Mattie’s name all the time when I’m talking about this.”

He sniffled again.

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Memo

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Spikemuth, Galar Region

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POSTED ON Dec 3, 2022 18:54:06 GMT

Alexei Ivanov likes this

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Memo let his head cant to the side slightly, thinking, eyes looking unfocused up past Alex’s shoulder. “That’s natural, I think,” he said, “since it’s also accurate. Going into any other world would seem very bizarre.”

He reached up to swipe some tears off Alex’s cheek.

“It’s fine. It’s very obviously pertinent to the story. It doesn’t bother me.”

And it didn’t. It didn’t. If anything it was secretly relieving. After all wasn’t it that world’s Mattis that allowed Alex to make his peace and move on? To him? To Memo? He should be thanking that alt-Mattis and decided, then, that if things ever got so horrible to the point where they met, he would.

It wasn’t this specific Mattis that bothered Memo, in the tiny, wiggling little bit that it did. It was… the idea of him, as a whole. In the way anyone feels when their significant other has Very Attractive Exes. Wholly human of him, a blanket statement, not at all personal.

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Alex / Lexy

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thirty

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POSTED ON Dec 4, 2022 12:45:38 GMT

“Are… are you jealous?”

Wait, why did he even ask that question?! It was good to get confirmation at least.

“I can… I can tell, you know,” he went on quietly as he took another deep breath. “You want to shoot death beams out of your eyes on sight. Not just to Mattie, but… but to all my other exes should you see them.”

A watery look crossed his features for a few moments.

“It’s alright to be jealous, but try to keep it under control? Especially now that they’re no longer in my life,” he ended with an equally small smile on his face.

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Memo

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August 26

Spikemuth, Galar Region

Homosexual

Ranger Captain

Elite Ranger

5'4" / 162 cm height

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TAG WITH @memo