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something always burns | m, open

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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Rysa

he/him
forty-eight
December 26
Slateport City
asexual
Enforcer
grunt
6"1' height
6"1' height
[T]
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510 posts
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TAG WITH @grigorisokolov
Grigori Sokolov
something always burns | m, open
POSTED ON Nov 7, 2024 6:17:43 GMT
Grigori Sokolov Avatar
All Grigori could respond with was a tragic, sorrowful, yet honest stare. Of course he killed him. Grigori was a man molded by violence. It was all he knew. His hands had been replaced with hammers, and all his problems with nails. Even as he sawed them off, stubs proved more than capable of a similar effect.

But her hand feels warm. Comforting. Right. It shouldn’t be, yet it is. Dangerously so, and he soaked up as much of the greedy show as he could. This was the last thing he deserved– but a perfect respite from the hell he found himself in.

... Mine have yet to fade, nearly three years later,” he answered softly. A stark contrast to the woman next to him, harsh and dissonant. “But time heals all wounds. An enigma that holds no promise in either direction.

A mere step above ‘no and yes’. It would be more kind to be blunt with the answer. Yet…

Maybe they could escape it, somehow. Sleep at night. Even if they did not deserve it, there was plenty of time in hell to punish their sins. A few nights of sleep was nothing in comparison to that.

But I do not wish to escape mine,” he said. Even if he desired reprieve, he must not be allowed the comfort. “It serves as an important reminder to myself: that there is always more to be done. More to make up for. More good to be done, to counteract the bad. Yet I speak personally– for it is imperative to reach your own conclusion, however that may appear to you.



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played by

sunny.html

abby, lady taipan
she/her
32 years old
November 4th
slateport
bisexual
bar owner, drug manufacturer
scientist
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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351 posts
part of
TAG WITH @absinthe
Absinthe Blackwood
something always burns | m, open
POSTED ON Nov 7, 2024 19:28:32 GMT
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[nospaces]
[attr="class","absinthe"]
[attr="class","body"]

that is the cruel truth of their reality. neither of them will ever find solace. how could they? they've bathed in blood. how can absinthe repent when she wishes every day for a little more darkness? when she looks at the life she's ruined and wants it for herself? they're stuck in hell without having the dignity of death to save them.[break][break]

absinthe takes her hand back. she's suddenly aware of how cold her fingers are, how stiff. she looks down and uncurls them, staring at her palms.[break][break]

"more good." her voice cracks. "i don't think i'm capable of it."[break][break]

there's an invisible noose tied around her neck. it tightens with every word she dares to whisper, desperate for absolution.[break][break]

it's easy for her to say she hates cole. she blames him for so much. sometimes, she still pictures him when she's hurting others. she's still angry. she's still hurting, even if her tongue is too heavy to explain to grigori exactly why she killed william.[break][break]

he should have been here. he should be able to yell at her, to call her a monster. she wouldn't care if his insults were empty, the bite lacking the same venom they once had.[break][break]

but he's dead, and all that remains are her memories, tainted with guilt.[break][break]

she stands to her feet and wobbles there for a moment.[break][break]

"i should change my clothes."



[break][break]

NOTES


- n/a






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MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

Rysa

he/him
forty-eight
December 26
Slateport City
asexual
Enforcer
grunt
6"1' height
6"1' height
[T]
awards
510 posts
part of
TAG WITH @grigorisokolov
Grigori Sokolov
something always burns | m, open
POSTED ON Nov 9, 2024 21:12:36 GMT
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Whether Absinthe had come to her senses, or Arceus decreed it so, it ultimately did not matter what else they did here– they would be thrown in jail if they stayed. Even if Grigori desired more, it was best to stay his hand. Greed was a dangerous beast, one not to be tempted.

You should,” he agreed. For hopefully the second-to-last time tonight, he rose back up again. His drink was still intoxicatingly sweet, but with a new hint of history and dark pasts. “Yet I suppose you lack a fresh set.

What to do, what to do… she couldn’t enter any stores or even leave here. Time was wholly against them, and he could only offer so many articles of his own clothing before it became unreasonable. Perhaps… perhaps…

As I see it, there might be a few other options: if you possess a Pokemon with Teleport, that might work. Otherwise, Digging of Flying away is obvious, but if no one sees your face and you possess an alibi, you will likely escape. Otherwise, I can attempt you purchase some, or fly to your humble abode and procure them. But blood isn’t something many people forget the smell of. Nor ignore in such large quantities.

It was Absinthe's call to make, but he'd do his best to ensure her safe escape. Whatever it might be.



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played by

sunny.html

abby, lady taipan
she/her
32 years old
November 4th
slateport
bisexual
bar owner, drug manufacturer
scientist
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
351 posts
part of
TAG WITH @absinthe
Absinthe Blackwood
something always burns | m, open
POSTED ON Nov 9, 2024 23:15:10 GMT
Absinthe Blackwood Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","absinthe"]
[attr="class","body"]

absinthe looks down at herself, truly taking inventory of the crimson dripping down the fabric of her shirt, the few flecks of crimson which spatter her jeans. it's too dark to see what could have transferred over to her coat, but she knows the likelihood of it remaining pristine is slim to none. grigori speaks of teleporting, digging, flying—[break][break]

but she doesn't have that kind of assistance on her. she brought only her shiinotic with her. she didn't think this would happen.[break][break]

no, she can't rely on her pokémon. maybe grigori was trying to give her a way out. give her a chance to find the dignity to save herself, but there's no dignity left.[break][break]

she has her pride, but pride is not enough. her lip snarls before she can catch it, the action painful as it stretches the scar tissue.[break][break]

"you have the cash?" she questions with narrowed eyes, glancing back to the man. "i can pay you back if you'd buy me something to wear."[break][break]

absinthe's heart races at the thought of him doing something so mundane for her. something her husband used to do. going into public spaces wearing the blood of her mistakes isn't something new for her, but having someone else bear witness to it, someone to cover for her—she almost laughs at the thought. she doesn't deserve it.[break][break]

but she doesn't refute it, either.[break][break]

and like that, absinthe pushes the responsibility onto grigori's shoulders, trusting him to handle it. she finds herself left with the breath she didn't know she was holding.



[break][break]

NOTES


- n/a






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MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

Rysa

he/him
forty-eight
December 26
Slateport City
asexual
Enforcer
grunt
6"1' height
6"1' height
[T]
awards
510 posts
part of
TAG WITH @grigorisokolov
Grigori Sokolov
something always burns | m, open
POSTED ON Nov 15, 2024 18:00:58 GMT
Grigori Sokolov Avatar
Do not worry, Ms. Absinthe,” Grigori said. Her slanted eyebrows did little to phase him, as he saw straight through it. Pride goeth before the fall, as some would say. Himself included. “The funds will not be much, I presume. Nor the clothes quality– but they will be clean.

It wasn’t a standard shopping trip, and she’d likely never wear whatever he bought again. Safe, in case eyewitnesses were particularly observant. They’d be as cheap as they came without falling apart in his hands.

I will try my best to be quick, but I would consider alternative outlets of escape if something goes amiss,” he warned. Anything was possible. Carefully, Grigori stepped over and past any blood smears that stained the filthy concrete. “I shouldn’t be more than ten minutes, if there are no problems.

A lot could happen in that time frame. They both knew that perfectly well –the last few minutes had been perfectly demonstrative.


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played by

sunny.html

abby, lady taipan
she/her
32 years old
November 4th
slateport
bisexual
bar owner, drug manufacturer
scientist
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
351 posts
part of
TAG WITH @absinthe
Absinthe Blackwood
something always burns | m, open
POSTED ON Nov 15, 2024 23:18:26 GMT
Absinthe Blackwood Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","absinthe"]
[attr="class","body"]

grigori leaves. absinthe is alone again.[break][break]

absinthe is a stranger to relying on her peers. even since she was a girl, she was self-sufficient to a fault. when she flowered into an adult, cole forced her to depend on him for everything—happiness, companionship, love. now, without him, she flounders. she's learning how to be a person again. grigori likely doesn't know this, but he has the privilege to see a side absinthe doesn't show anyone, not even evelyn. an absinthe that needs help, and an absinthe that asks for it.[break][break]

it is strange, strange enough to draw a choke, strangled chuckle from the depths of her throat.[break][break]

but now, in the silence, ten minutes is a lifetime. the span between seconds stretches out impossibly long in this moment, where blood lingers like iron weights on her tongue and the depth of her guilt threatens to drown her. she is stained with her own sin, and anybody daring to step through this alley would be able to see it.[break][break]

grigori told her to consider another avenue of escape, but absinthe has not bothered with it. in fact, by the time ten minutes is over, she is unmoved from where she sits against the dumpster, nigh catatonic in traversing the winding tunnels of her own mind. there are some footsteps, some wayward eyes in the span of this eternity, but absinthe does not move, nor does she flinch. some part of her wants everything to go wrong.[break][break]

ten minutes.[break][break]

a person can survive a decade in ten minutes, survive an eternity waiting.[break][break]

those ten minutes pass unbearably long for absinthe—but then, she sees a shadow approaching.



[break][break]

NOTES


- n/a






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MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

Rysa

he/him
forty-eight
December 26
Slateport City
asexual
Enforcer
grunt
6"1' height
6"1' height
[T]
awards
510 posts
part of
TAG WITH @grigorisokolov
Grigori Sokolov
something always burns | m, open
POSTED ON Nov 20, 2024 20:44:37 GMT
Grigori Sokolov Avatar
I see you are unmoved.

Grigori emerged once again, with a large brown bag in hand. He had finished and disposed of his coffee earlier, its sweet taste still fresh on his tongue. It masked the bitter disappointment quite well: the idea that he wanted her to be better than he had been, the knowledge that it was an impossible standard.

But that wasn’t truly relevant to the problem at hand. Grigori walked over calmly, back to the lost woman, and offered the bag.

I’m afraid I didn’t know your sizes, so I had to over-estimate,” he said. It was likely too large. But that was far from the worst thing. Her eyes…

Grigori felt the ever-presented head of guilt reared its ugly head. His heart twitched as the truth presented itself. How could he have been so blind? He knew those eyes. How hollow they were. How still she was. This was a massive assumption, as the lack of light could have told him whatever he wanted to see.

But there was no desire for life inside.

Who were they?" He pushed for the truth once more, but even he knew this was well into personal territory. Would she put up the walls, or would they crumble just this once?



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played by

sunny.html

abby, lady taipan
she/her
32 years old
November 4th
slateport
bisexual
bar owner, drug manufacturer
scientist
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
351 posts
part of
TAG WITH @absinthe
Absinthe Blackwood
something always burns | m, open
POSTED ON Nov 20, 2024 22:40:28 GMT
Absinthe Blackwood Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","absinthe"]
[attr="class","body"]

he is here now, and he wants the truth.[break][break]

a part of absinthe wants to respond, steeped in hatred, excusing herself, claiming that she told him everything, but she knows that it's foolish to imagine he will fully believe her that way. he sees her, truly sees her, and recognizes oblivion in her eyes.[break][break]

the truth is messy and dark. when the good doctor knew absinthe, she was abby. she had bright dreams and a hope for the future. she was incredibly talented, and that was more than enough to make up for her torrid home life, her reckless drinking, her lackadaisical morals. and while absinthe likes to look back into that time, to imagine that she was better as abby, to imagine that abby was a good person, the fact is that abby was just as much of a person as absinthe is now—flawed and broken.[break][break]

when she speaks, her voice loses all sense of cadence and rhythm. she is numb and voided. "we had an affair."[break][break]

she closes her eyes and leans her head back into the cool metal of the dumpster.[break][break]

"when my husband was at his worst, william was kind to me," she admits, hands balled into fists near her thighs. "it was wrong. he had a wife and three children. i met and knew all of them. i took care of his daughter on one occasion."[break][break]

her voice cracks.[break][break]

"i ruined that family. i destroyed them. and i have no idea why william came back to me. his wife and children forgave him, but he still came back. and now he's dead. i ruined them again."[break][break]

a sob wrenches itself from absinthe's throat, a dove slicked in oil and blood. tears, unbidden, carve a meandering stream down her face, and she clutches her face as tightly as she can in her blood-crusted, dirty hands.[break][break]

"i'm no good at loving or being loved. i think all i'll ever be is broken."



[break][break]

NOTES


- n/a






[attr="class","pkmn"]




[attr="class","credit"]
MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

Rysa

he/him
forty-eight
December 26
Slateport City
asexual
Enforcer
grunt
6"1' height
6"1' height
[T]
awards
510 posts
part of
TAG WITH @grigorisokolov
Grigori Sokolov
something always burns | m, open
POSTED ON Nov 20, 2024 23:29:59 GMT
Grigori Sokolov Avatar
It was not the answer he sought, but it was the answer he got. The regard of both William and her husband in the past tense was enough for Grigori. Further cemented them as kindred souls, isolated yet connected in their own burdens. Their faults. And even then, her cause was far nobler than his.

Far more just. Even if its consequences were horrible.

I’m… sorry,” Grigori said. The bag was sent gently against the ground, and he joined her once more by the dumpster. “Love of that sort is something I’ve never experienced. I fail you, in that regard.

All he’d ever known was the distant, sporadic love from his mother when she wasn’t escaping from reality herself. And whatever he had called the bond between himself and Gabe. Love of a brotherly sort. The romantic kind was never his. But whether that fueled his lack of desire or his lack of desire made it so was impossible to know or determine.

But… if I may posit a theory,” Grigori cupped his hands gently around hers, “I think your assessment is incorrect. There is no being good or bad at love, for it is not something we can control. As the logic of our mind, our hearts possess emotion. Our brains think, yet our hearts feel. And feelings are as uncontrollable as the sun, or the stars.

There is no good or bad at loving. Only the act of it. Do your tears not fall as we speak? Or your heart ache? You are as capable of loving or having love given to you, as everyone else. And even if you are broken, and there is no putting you back to your original form as you insist…

There exists a world where you are rebuilt, with kind, gentle hands, into another form altogether. One where you are whole.

Damaged, but not broken. To be damaged was to be fragile, yet that was hardly a negative. Everyone was fragile, in their own unique ways. Points that wouldn't break them no matter the pressure, and others that'd scatter their remains all across the floor. 


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played by

sunny.html

abby, lady taipan
she/her
32 years old
November 4th
slateport
bisexual
bar owner, drug manufacturer
scientist
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
351 posts
part of
TAG WITH @absinthe
Absinthe Blackwood
something always burns | m, open
POSTED ON Nov 20, 2024 23:41:05 GMT
Absinthe Blackwood Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","absinthe"]
[attr="class","body"]

absinthe lifts her head from behind shaking fingers, murky jade irises boring into grigori's own despite her raging emotions. his logic is flawed, twisted—loving blindly. humans aren't like that.[break][break]

are humans even made to love like that? isn't it just hormones and manipulation in high heels? isn't it just an anchor, a leash wrapped around her neck?[break][break]

grigori believes she could be fixed, reconstructed—but she could never be molded again. once clay has been shaped, fired, glazed, there is no reshaping it. one could break and mend it with gold, but the fractures would always stand defiant. artful, but glaringly obvious.[break][break]

absinthe wants to snap at him. she wants to argue, tear him apart with silver-tongued retorts and cruel metaphors, paint him naïve and idealistic in an instant with an acidic tone. a wave crashes over her heart, threatening to swallow it whole in its crushing undertow—it's nice, too nice to think she could be whole. that there's something, anything, redeemable inside of her anymore.[break][break]

but then the absurdity fades, leaving a heaviness in its wake.[break][break]

and then, suddenly, quietly, she whispers, "isn't love supposed to feel good? it feels like dying."[break][break]

absinthe squeezes her eyes shut and exhales loudly, raggedly through her gas mask, opening her eyes back up only to glare heatedly at grigori, fingers digging crescent shapes into her cheeks like burning brands. she doesn't cry anymore—emotions are raw energy that have nowhere to release. his hands remain cupped around her own, trapping a firefly that thrashes hopelessly against his palm.[break][break]

instead, she leans against the dumpster. her hand slips into his.[break][break]

"what do i owe you? for the clothes."



[break][break]

NOTES


- n/a






[attr="class","pkmn"]




[attr="class","credit"]
MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

Rysa

he/him
forty-eight
December 26
Slateport City
asexual
Enforcer
grunt
6"1' height
6"1' height
[T]
awards
510 posts
part of
TAG WITH @grigorisokolov
Grigori Sokolov
something always burns | m, open
POSTED ON Nov 21, 2024 0:03:48 GMT
Grigori Sokolov Avatar
Be as abstract, idealistic, optimistic, hopeful, arrogant– It was all he had left to dream about.

There was no longer the time to drastically change his life, nor to seek something wholly different. It wasn’t physically possible. No professions, careers, materialistic goods, anything. All he had left to yearn for was companionship. Familial love. Compassion for the people he worked and toiled with.

Love mixes with other emotions to become something else,” Grigori frowned. His theory was far from perfect, but he knew it at a baseline to be true. “Like …molecules? What you may be experiencing is perhaps not love in its truest form, but tempered with another feeling. A negative one, perchance.

Disgust at herself? Grief for what may never be with William? It was, unfortunately, yet another question that Absinthe herself must answer. Just as he his own. Try as he might to help her navigate the start of this journey, only she could choose the roads to travel.

And you owe me nothing,” Grigori said. He did not let go. Try as she might disagree with him, cast him into the recesses of her mind as yet another idiot who did not see the truth– the sweet, paralyzing idea of warmth was always too much. had succumbed all the same, with his own heart. His own love.

Consider our discussion payment enough, if you’ll humor me. And, if I may once more posit a question…” He paused. This was the last thing he wanted to ask. The rest had felt easy, if risky. THis, though, could blow up in his face and ruin everything.

What do you plan to do now? And I do not mean about getting home safely, tonight.

But there was an incorrect path. One that would only further her descent into misery and torment. He had to know. Had to prevent. There could not be two Grigori Sokolovs in the world. One was too much as was.


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played by

sunny.html

abby, lady taipan
she/her
32 years old
November 4th
slateport
bisexual
bar owner, drug manufacturer
scientist
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
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Absinthe Blackwood
something always burns | m, open
POSTED ON Nov 21, 2024 0:26:20 GMT
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absinthe feels raw. her entire life, she's been the type to flee—from commitment, intimacy, understanding, responsibilities. maybe if she stays locked into this moment for too long, she'll vanish into smoke, float away on a breeze she can't feel.[break][break]

now that absinthe thinks about it, this isn't even a side of herself she knows. certainly she's never shown such vulnerability to many, not since...
well. not since cole. and it's a startling realization that even then, there's some things she hadn't opened up about. how did she say it? the universe rewards honesty?[break][break]

absinthe gazes down at their intertwined hands. grigori's fingers curl around her hand in an age-worn grip. they hold the weight of the world, but there's a gentleness to his palms that she didn't know could exist within a person touched by death.[break][break]

absinthe is hesitant to consider owing anyone anything. debts hold power—that is a lesson she learned firsthand. but she looks at grigori, and she believes him when he says she owes him nothing. that perhaps, to repay her debt, all she must do is listen. something about the sincerity that shines through his gaze convinces her of that.[break][break]

he asks her a difficult question. even as her chest throbs with the anxiety of the future—a concept far more daunting than present guilt—she hears herself responding with: "i wish to be human again."[break][break]

what that means, she doesn't know. absinthe doesn't know how much of her humanity she lost, only that it slipped away somewhere in the night, between fits of tortured laughter and poisoned wine. could that wish be possible? can she still rediscover her past self—or discover a new self—in spite of everything?



[break][break]

NOTES


- n/a






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