there's the callous mouth. saskia tries not to laugh; if her mental tally is correct, it hasn't even been fifteen minutes since they'd first started talking. she'd bet herself they wouldn't make it to twenty before he dropped his first f-bomb. 

some things never change.

she does disentangle from him finally. her hands find her backpack straps and tug down to take some of the weight off her back. she totters from side to side, exaggerating just how heavy it is. 

"grim is good. better." she's a terrible liar. "i got him to practice on kirin and not me last week." for like all of five minutes, but she doesn't need to mention that part.

"but things have been okay here? for the most part? and mama?"

Nikolaj Volosenkov

☉

i have no idea what i want for her yet :>

two weeks ago today had been the hardest of her life. it was on the news around the world. messages started flooding into her phone, started flooding into everyone's phones. her father's voice - distorted and rough around static, but distinctly his, telling her in too many words goodbye. 

her stress is evident with the lilac under her eyes, the knots in her shoulders. but she's home now and breathing in that oiled leather smell. she leans into him again, not letting him disentangle. 

kirin dips her head and munches on the lawn. 

"crowded. travel's crazy as hell. i'm just glad to be home. didja see my exam scores though? aced all of 'em. even kirin evolved." she bounces, pride glimmering in her bright green eyes. 

Nikolaj Volosenkov

☉

it feels as though she has not slept for the past several months. ever since that damned bubble went up, she's done nothing but worry that the last thing she ever said to her dad was, dude, you have to stop sending the same memes from three years ago to this group chat. but that's the thing about good-byes, isn't it? you don't get to choose the when or the how or the why. some good-byes are messy and complicated, but most are abrupt and unsatisfying.

so she counts her blessings every single day. staying positive about the whole thing has been easy because the last few months were so hard. dealing with credit transfers and papers and keeping herself afloat (even if grandpa kept slipping her some money in an attempt to stop her from taking odd jobs around town).

he never really understood why she took all those jobs from the, as he put it, "ungrateful mudak." even though miss evangeline can get testy and doesn't know how to work her lips to say "thank you," sasky knows she appreciates all the help she can get.

people are funny that way. 

but now she's here. she's off the plane and she has what belongings she wanted to move back home with (stuffed in an overflowing canvas bag and a too-big backpack). her wyrdeer carries the heavier pack at a slow trot beside her. kirin only just evolved last month, thanks to one of saskia's cadet academy exams.

the modest home comes into view and her smile breaks. she would break into a skip if she could, but her backpack weighs her down, so she can only half-scamper up to her dad, feeling foolish and elated at the same time. 

she doesn't care that she might just get a face full of smoke. 

"you look like a lumberjack, papochka," she says affectionately, breathlessly, as she clumsily trips into him and circles her arms tight around his sides. 

Nikolaj Volosenkov

☉