「 my head is spinning like a screw 」

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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「 my head is spinning like a screw 」
POSTED ON Jan 28, 2023 3:12:59 GMT
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He stared at the bar of Xanax between his fingers carefully. How many months had it been since doctors attempted to give him anything to ease his constant state of fear and paranoia? (How could he be anything else? The police wrote down what happened to him as a lover's quarrel -- lovers didn't try to break down the door to try and attack the person on the other side of it, brandishing a knife as they did so. 'She meant no harm,' the officer insisted. The officer just couldn't be bothered to file a report over a domestic dispute.) Danny breathed in through his nose, then out his mouth. It was fine, he was fine. She didn't pose any threat to him anymore, she'd found someone new. But how long until she grew bored of her new plaything and came back for him once more?

'When you feel a panic attack coming on, just break off and stick it under your tongue -- works like a charm for me,' the shady dealer in the fast food parking lot reassured him. Danny was desperate, what could he say? He offered the man his money and took the Xanax offered to him.

With a bit of force from his thumb, he broke off a piece and sucked in yet another breath, this one a little more ragged than the last. Why did it feel like his chest was being crushed? Danny had never been religious, but he prayed for some God, any God to hear him in that moment and soothe his mind. Let him know that his past had been left behind, that nothing would harm him. As if divine intervention had come for him, he felt his grip loosen on the Xanax in his hand, as if someone had taken it from him. As he adjusted to the weight that rested itself on his lap, he looked upward to see his newfound lover. She managed to crush the piece he'd broken off for himself in one fell swoop, allowing the powder to sprinkle down into the carpet of their shared bedroom.

"Silly boy," came the Soprano lilt. "These merely numb the effects of how you perceive the world around you. I want you to feel it. Feel the crushing weight of existence with me."

His back hit the mattress as his panic hit a crescendo. Breath came in hyperventilations as he felt his heart beating in his chest, like it was bound to burst. Micah's lips felt hot at the hollow of his throat as he desperately gasped and prayed to whatever God would listen. Tears spilled from the corners of his eyes as he attempted to steady his mind as familiar hands ran over him and helped to ground him. With each gentle touch, every lovely word, he felt himself come down from his panic. His body felt shaky, exhausted, yet he felt alive as he came down. Micah made him feel safe, secure; she was his source of gravity. And it was then he realized:

Why pray to any other God? The only God he needed was right there.
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「 my head is spinning like a screw 」
POSTED ON Mar 3, 2023 12:08:54 GMT
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CENTER OF INNOVATIVE SCIENCE & RESEARCH INTO PEDIATRIC MEDICINE RUN AND SPONSORED BY @micah and @danny AS THE PRIMARY CHARITY DONATED TO BY MEANS OF STREAM REVENUE AND OTHER SPONSORSHIPS.
INSPIRATIONS: THE BUTTERFLY GARDEN BY DOT HUTCHINSON, WHAT HAPPENED TO MONDAY DIRECTED BY TOMMY WIRKOLA
the camera comes into focus on a beautiful green garden. it's obvious that much care has been placed in its upkeep and the upkeep of all the life within it - botanic and not.



there is the uneven stamping of small feet running to and fro, followed by soft giggling and someone yelling out a whined 'hey, that's not fair!'. kids are at play here in a pristine environment - their outfits white and as unblemished as the lives they hold within their tiny frames. some sport band-aids on their arms present due to rolled up sleeves. others seem to be wearing their uniform-like outfits properly, skipping and smiling as they interact with one another. all these children seem to be around ages 5-10, dainty and yet flourishing like the flowers around them.

a figure comes into frame. it's @micah , with @danny in tow.

"MISS HINA! BROTHER DANNY!" the kids cry out in unison, delighted by their arrival. this seems to be a treat, although not one that is so rare that they have forgotten these individuals and reacted out of reflex in terms of 'stranger danger' rules. little hands go to grasp onto bigger palms and fingers and swing them about, telling the two of them about their day and how wonderful it has been.























unbeknownst to the typical onlooker, these children are sick.

due to scummy parents or simply unfortunate genetics or circumstances, they all have their own maladies to tend to day in and day out. some children are even wheelchair-bound, taking the time and effort to approach and properly greet the two figures who seem to hold all the power here in the garden of BUTTERFLIES. each child has their own unique name they go by, ones that they are used to and prefer when compared to dead names of children who were once much more sick and unsightly than they are now. HINA had done wonders for them - she had CURED them of things that people could only claim to be MIRACLES to even improve on. DANNY? well, he was their FAVORITE PERSON. he was their BROTHER - someone who was seen much more often than hina herself, seeing as she was busy tending to upkeep of the gardens and the stations around them that offered all the medical help the children needed.

"but i don't wanna!" one kid cried out as HINA knelt down to him, tears streaming out of his eyes as she smiled softly - uncannily. this strange nature to her smile wasn't detected by a mind so young and unknowing, so the child calmed down and simply whined a 'fine ...' softly as he returned for another injection in the WHITE ROOMS. these rooms were connected to hallways that formed a maze to anyone unfamiliar with the grounds. the BUTTERFLIES could fly their way to their destinations with the help of GUIDES on standby, but otherwise it was impossible to navigate and find the different DORM ROOMS for the butterflies to take perch and rest in, let alone the LABS and MEDIC STATIONS. most difficult to find and access was THE ATRIUM proper, which was HINA's space of work and where she spent most of her time. it was a place of utmost secrecy that many didn't even know she was on the grounds unless she let herself be seen roaming the hallways or out about the GARDEN. DANNY was the only one allowed a key to the ATRIUM aside from her - HINA's confidant and her own NICODEMUS, being one of many of the butterflies though his sickness was something she dared not touch.



DANNY was also the oldest BUTTERFLY - many of them not being SEEN ACTIVE past the age of 15. butterflies only lived 15-29 days, didn't they? in an attempt to preserve their LIVES, the STARS UNDYING group formed the perfect solution for the more terminally ill: CRYOSLEEP. within the ATRIUM, many of the BUTTERFLIES lay in dormancy to be witnessed and observed as FAILURES of MODERN SCIENCE and MEDICINE, constantly reminding HINA to work harder and faster to achieve the GODHOOD she needed to overcome HUMAN FOLLIES such as SICKNESS and DISEASE. they were not all man-made, but if cures to some diseases could be made by the hand of man, why not MORE OF THEM? other sleeping BUTTERFLIES were stored far away in HOLDING CHAMBERS, held until the time when grieving parents could hope to be a time of cures for their babies could be found.

it was so astounding how many parents bought into this process and funded STARS UNDYING - unable to let their little STARS die off without a fighting chance. at least they could be kept as BUTTERFLIES while they fought for their lives and then held in peaceful stasis while they waited for their time to live a full, wonderful life. how sad it was that they didn't know more of what happened - but who could? with VELVET ROOM backing, it was impossible to know of the INCINERATION CHAMBERS that kept the HOLDING CHAMBERS from overflowing. so the BUTTERFLIES kept their wings intact until they were ready to be clipped when they were no longer viable for RESEARCH or ensuring a 'BETTER' FUTURE. when they fell out of GRACE, they were DISPOSED OF - starting with their UNIQUE BUTTERFLY TATTOO given upon admittance into THE GARDENS.

ADVERTISEMENT is the source of many evils, and so why can't it propel something as MORALLY DARK AMBIGUOUS as this? so remember, guys and gals:



TO ENSURE THE STARS STAY IN YOUR SKY, VISIT US AT [STARS UNDYING] WHERE WE CAN USE THE NEWEST TECHNOLOGY, MEDICINE, AND SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH TO GIVE YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES THAT PROMISE OF A SHINING TOMORROW!