LET'S GO HOME

WE'VE GOTTEN STRANGE, WE'VE GOTTEN OLDER, IT'LL BE ALRIGHT

@ren
25 , he/him , computer specialist / barista

content warning for brief mentions of neglect and drug use/addiction

There's something beautiful about childhood whimsy and ignorance. Thinking back on it, Ren realizes just how uninvolved his parents were in his life. They gave him and his younger siblings the basic necessities to live and every material item they asked for, sure, but necessity and want didn't make up for a lack of nurturing. Ren never quite understood why his parents were so distant, constantly locking themselves in their room, the smell of fumes that permeated the whole house, and the strangers who came to their house late at night, whom his parents insisted they were just visiting relatives.

How beautiful that naiveté was.

It wasn't until he was a bit older that he understood what was going on. His parents were no more than dredges on society that made their money through the manufacturing of drugs. There's a certain pain that comes from knowing how to use Narcan at the ripe age of twelve. How he had to comfort his younger siblings to let them know that mom wasn't dead, she was just sick, and dad was sick, too. They insisted they loved them, but with every overdose Ren had to handle, that felt more like a mantra than the truth. "We love you." But not enough to quit. Got it.

The burden of being the step-in parent weighed heavy on his shoulders. Odd jobs to make sure his siblings had what they needed as their parents drowned further into addiction. Sometimes they'd go days without seeing their parents come out of their room, and that's likely when things hit the hardest. Ren knew he had to find a way to break from the house that wasn't even a home anymore. And that's when he made the bold decision to attend the Goldenrod Institute of Technology. There he put forth his best foot and studied hard so he could reassure both himself and his siblings a future they not only deserved, but a future they needed, too. As of right now, most of his funds are funneled into repaying his university debt as well as making sure his siblings have enough to live comfortably.

It's a shame that he didn't realize he'd find himself where he is now, in the ranks of criminals. Suppose the toxic cycle of becoming one's parents repeats itself.

With that in mind, he presents himself rather prickly and harsh. This makes the idea of friends such a hard goal to achieve. If people can get past his harsh mannerisms and attempts to push people away, they've got a surprisingly sweet young man at their disposal. Surprisingly considerate and able to keep track of every detail that's shared with him, he's the type to drop a cake off for someone's birthday, but vehemently insist that he just found it on their doorstep. He can't let people know he cares too much, after all. Deep down he's lonely, and just simply guards himself so he won't be disappointed again.

Enemies will be a much easier aspect for him to handle. He's used to them. He's got a quick wit and sharp tongue, remaining unabashed in what he says and does. He's here to talk shit and most certainly get hit. But Ren is the type of person to mean what he says and say what he means. So while people can call him out on his bullshit, he isn't afraid to admit that he definitely said it and would say it again. His attitude deserves no excuse, and he knows he deserves to take a punch to the face; he's just bold enough to admit it.

When it comes down to it, he's afraid of opening himself to someone so intimately in the form of love. It's the biggest opportunity that people can use to get close to him and ultimately take advantage of him. The moment that he feels himself begin to fall, he turns into a cornered rat and will lash out verbally. It's not that he's disgusted or against the idea, he's simply fearful of the unknown. But hey, if someone really wants to break down those walls and show him he doesn't have to be so distrustful, then be my guest.