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SOCIETY KEEPS SPREADING THE DISEASE

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tw: domestic & child abuse
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"F*CK!"
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a voice booms down the hallways, dim and familiar. the mold has grown all the way here, through the wooden planks that you could have sworn began to curve under the weight of her petite body. the little girl hangs onto a worn, stuffed rabbit (torn in different areas, stitched back up with a clumsy hand and too many blood stains from accidents to count). her knees tremble at the voice, as her fingers curl around the limp and unstuffed torso of the toy. they were fighting again, she thinks. they were fighting again, when all she wanted was a cup of water. going down the stairs, she was careful enough not to wake up that beast of a man (as thought the woman were any better, acting as a catalyst for a ticking time bomb).
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"Father?" her soft voice creeps through the dark, just around the corner as she turns to glance into a dim lit room. brunette locks fall over the bloodshot eyes, all as bottles of liquor and other alcohol reeks from his clothing. he does nothing, not bothering to grace the little girl with a glance. shattered glass is spread across the floor, shards digging into the corners of the room and the rug. "Father?" she tries again, and yet again there is no response. This won't do: at this rate, father will wake up with another headache, and she'd have to be even more careful not to wake him up. she takes her two little feet to tread upon the rug and the planks, towards the man hunched over with his elbows against his knees. stray shards begin to prick and jab her little toes and her tiny heel, but she pays no mind as she walks (she had already tread on eggshells and across a minefield; the pain and sting did not compare to the explosions from her mistakes). yet each step takes her closer, as her crimson blood began to stain the rug. "Father." her voice is still soft, as a hand hangs onto the limp, sewn on ear. "Let's go to sleep." a smile stretched across her lips, for no one but herself as his gaze stayed far away. into nothingness. she knows her words won't reach him (they never had, he never listened).
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there was no response. why does she even try? like a bull trying to charge time after time, failing like a fool it is. but even then, she raises a hand to gently try and move the man's hair from his eyes. the moment her fingers brush against a strand, he suddenly perks up, snapping attention like an alert doberman to send a hate-filled glare with those same, bloodshot eyes. "GET THE F*CK 'WAY FROM ME" his words slurred, his voice boomed again. his hand snapped up to grab the tiny wrist of a delicate child. the little girl stares up at him, as his expression and anger is reflected within her eyes. it is then where she pauses and feels her heart drop: she was going to get hit again. she was going to get hurt again, was she not? of course she was. but it was normal. her father was drunk, and he was tired. but if he were to get any louder, mother will awaken, and she will get into a fight. she doesn't want them to fight, even if that's how they love each other. "I'm sorry." the girl smiles, relaxing her body and preparing for yet another flurry.[break][break]

another flurry of bruises. another flurry of scolds. another flurry of accusations and another flurry of slurs. another tangent about how she was useless, a piece of trash. how the devil wouldn't have wanted her, and how she was the spawn of another man.
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it was okay, even if this all came from the mouth of a paranoid man who had tested for a dna test way back when. his other hand picks up a bottle and smashes it against the table during his tantrums, yet the little girl does not sway - save for a jolt at the impact, along with the anticipation of shards that came flying her way. the man holds a jagged piece up to her, running it down the pale cheek to stain it red. "Father," she starts again, taking a deep breath and hiding the lump fear has grown in her throat "Please.. be more quiet..? Mother is sleeping right now, and she might get angry if you--"[break][break]

"WHO TH' F*CK CARES ABOUT THAT--" putrid alcohol reeks from his breath, and she resists the urge to cover her mouth in disgust. sounds of tapping could be heard coming from up the stairs, then squeaking of wood from down the hall until the lights are suddenly turned on. a blonde woman - a beautiful woman - stands at the door. once radiant blue eyes glare to the man with his daughter in hand, as she blows a strand of now, dirty blonde hair out of her face. once again, reflecting in the young girl's amethyst eyes. ah, yes. that's right. they were going to start yelling at each other, weren't they? then a neighbour will wake up, and the police will be called again. if the police are called, she has to hide under a bed and pretend that she isn't there. pretend she was at her grandparents' houses, then crawl out like nothing had ever gone awry. maybe, she thinks, mother will try to diffuse the situation-
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her hand points down to the rug, with glass splinters scattered around and fell from the little girl whom was lifted and dangled. streaks of red fell from her toes, dripping onto the rug and further staining it. "M-Mother-" she can't get a sentence out before she's suddenly slapped, by a single woman so caught in her delirium that she hadn't realized that her feet were pierced by the same shards. "Felicity! How could you get blood on the f*cking carpet?!" her words are cold, and her gaze wavers. the little girl takes it in, then a deep breath, before lowering her gaze to the woman in shame. "I'm sorry." she says once again, with another slap following suit. the little girl's hair falls over her eyes, but a glance and she knows that the woman is fearful. she is fearful of the man with the bottle in his hands, and so to avoid his wrath she chooses to incur it onto the child. she understands her. she doesn't blame her. this was how mother showed her love, too. this was how mother and father showed her love.
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she's left dangling, shaken by the father who violently wriggles her like a rag doll. "F*cking good for nothing.." the man grumbles as he drops her abruptly. the little girl is forced onto her rear, sitting on the glass shards as splinters dig into her fingers and palms. the little girl can feel the tears welling up, but she shuts her eyes beneath her bangs as she remained seated to compose herself after the pain. then, she stands up with the same smile, as she always had. "I'm sorry." she says once again, hands gently plucking the shards out of her body. dress had been bloodied as were her hands and feet. she picks up the rabbit from the ground, and began to quietly step back from the two adults who, eventually, turned their attention to each other.
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the little girl carries the rabbit back to her room, leaving a trail of blood that goes up the stairs and into her own room. that's where she removes the rest of the glass shards, carefully bunched up and put onto the wooden desk in her quiet haven.she winces with each tug, and sighs. she feels the tears well up, as does she feel her heart tug and scream. "This is love." she says to herself. "This is love." she repeats to herself. "This is love, this is love, this is love." she says it, again and again. she says it to remind herself. she says this to convince herself. she says this until the tears dry up on her cheeks, stained against the pillowcase and her mind drifts to sleep.[break][break]

she wakes up to the window, with birds chirping and the sun peeking through. another man lays next to her, with ashen grey hair and tears stained against his cheeks. his arms are wrapped around her body, clinging so tightly that his fingers have imprinted themselves against her shoulders and chest. the blonde woman smiles, laying in the bed with bruises hidden beneath the blanket. across her arms, across her legs. a knife and fresh wound in her heart as the perfume of another woman comes from the man. she brushes his hair from his face, fingers only lightly touching the lipstick stain against his neck when it's pulled back. she tries to move more, but his grip is too strong. his eyes break the tiniest bit, red and puffed from crying so much the night before. "I'm sorry", he says in a tone so dull and dead. he was tired, she knows he was. the young woman smiles ignoring the soreness and painful throbbing that came with even lifting a joint.[break][break]

"It's okay."[break][break]

the words are a venomous honey, slowly eating them from the inside out. the stench of salt and sweat from the other room is strong enough for her to smell, but she pays no mind as she curls closer to the man with the scent of another woman.[break][break]

"I love you."

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