Chu-e's fingers had wandered back up to brush his lips when he gets a knock on the door. He expected maybe a nurse with breakfast, she had poked in when he woke up to say she would be bringing it, but instead it's Arthur. He isn't sure how to really answer him. On the mountain his concussion had opened up some of those parts he liked to keep out of the light. Now he was desperate to lock them away again only he couldn't. Curiosity was getting the better of him.

His declaration on the mountain, after he thought about it further, had been sadly true. No one had ever kissed Chu-e like that before. Not something warm, something soft, something with promise in it. His kisses were always full of teeth that left lips bleeding and bruised. His kisses always led to beds or couches or bent over tables. His kisses always ended up with scratches down backs that stung to remind you for days after.

Arthur's kiss hadn't done any of those things. Arthur's kiss was an anomaly. Chu-e was wary of that. While the other was a Rocket, yes, he was also in some type of business. Chu-e hadn't bothered to look into the details of it, hadn't bothered to look into much at all honestly, but he knew how those types normally were. They would use you up and wring you dry to get ahead. They had tried with him before.

But none of them had kissed him like that.

So Chu-e left Arthur to wait there, in awkward silence that stretched too long, to punish the other for his own confusing feelings. He turned and tilted his head and took the offered pastry to give it a once-over.

"Is this apple?" Chu-e voice is rough since he hasn't used it in a bit. He clears his throat and unwraps the treat. He's pretty hungry. "Apples my favorite."

It's quiet as he takes a bite. Sweetness' ears twitch and the normal type gives a big yawn and sits up from her curl, tilts her head at Arthur before stretching to lay down again. Her tail flicks at the end but she doesn't hiss at the white-haired man. Progress.

"You kissed me." Because, well, the easiest way to get used to the water was to jump in headfirst.

---

@arthurwright
>:u

he supposes he deserves that look chu-e is giving him. it is only after they reach the village that arthur learns the extent of his companion's injuries: namely a concussion and a twisted ankle. he isn't familiar with either, but when he asks the doctor about it, the first has more side-effects than the latter, which probably explains why he was acting funky on the mountain. and he decided to take advantage of that too, fuck. he does not–well, he meant to do so...but he did not mean any harm in it. honest to goodness, he didn't. but such thoughts are useless now. his actions still have consequences and he decided then and there that he wasn't going to be a coward anymore, so he would have to see the rest through.

he nods once at the mention of apple. admittedly it was a guess and he had bought some other types in case he preferred something else. he makes a mental note to buy more apple-related pastries next time, if there would even be a next time. sweetness acknowledges his presence with a slightly annoyed look, but she tolerates him. honestly, if she didn't after saving her life, arthur would think that the pokemon had no heart.

the young man glances at chu-e when he speaks again, but it's about the thing that he currently dreads, and so his eyes quickly move away to a dead spot in the room. he is frozen, unable to move, but at the same time he feels a faint tremor in his fingers. "i did." he admits; his voice quiet. the first thought that enters his mind is because you asked for it, but that does not seem right. or rather, it does not seem like saying that would improve their situation any. he searches for words to say, yet his teeth are pressing on his tongue as he does so. his emotions are in a jumble and he wishes that this could've been easier. "you said in the ball that you did not like cowards, right? so i tried not to be." he mutters; his hands curling into fists. "but i...i really don't know what to feel. it haunts me, what happened on the mountain. it made me realise that i..." his voice trails off. he wouldn't call it love, no. this wasn't love...was it? he just feels...attached, he knows that much. he would genuinely mourn if he found chu-e dead up there. he could already feel his chest ache at the thought.

he falls silent. he does not even know what chu-e thought of the kiss, since the concussion could've meant that whatever he said up there could've been, well, a lie. he feels vulnerable and hates it, but his emotions betray him and he is unable to shake it away.

---

Chu-e Choi
notes: hi i stole your template, also have an awkward, pained boyo

"You did." Chu-e repeats after him in agreement. He keeps nibbling on the pastry as he listens to Arthur. He concentrates on it as if he's not even listening. As he digests the other's words he leans back and places his treat down. He can't hide in it forever and he would like to focus all on this now.

"Come over here and sit down. I can't get up right now so you're safe." Is how he starts, leaning back on the bed and folding his hands over his lap. He didn't like how the other was standing there like a scolded dog with his tail between his legs, looking ready to bolt or like Chu-e might try and eat him.

"You shouldn't get attached to me." Is what he finally says next. The confidence in him when he says it is gone, more of something resigned and almost melancholy in his voice. "In this...." Rocket. He didn't want to say it out loud. "You would be a pretty bit that sits on a shelf. Shiny and expensive that someone takes down to show to their friends. Something valuable. I'm just a tool. When I break, and I will break, I'll be disposed of."

They led very different lives in Rocket. Arthur was business. He had a place in things, yes, but it didn't come with all the risk that Chu-e had. Plus he had money, something very valuable. Chu-e had been in the right place at the right time. His biggest asset was being willing to do anything for the cause. There were plenty of Grunts who weren't discovered yet who would do the same thing. But how many of them had what Arthur had?

But.... he was also making excuses for himself, wasn't he?. He could step out of this right now, say it meant nothing, say that even if it had that they were too different. Something tightened in Chu-e's chest at the thought. He would go on much the same as he had before and so would Arthur. Maybe they would both be a little more bitter for it, was all.

but Chu-e was so lonely.

"No one has ever...." It was difficult, letting himself feel, or explain, or just not be obstinate after so long of doing so. "I don't like cowards. You kiss like one, though. And.... and I liked it." Now it was Chu-e's turn to face away, to look out the window and pretend that his cheeks weren't heating up. He squeezes his eyes shut and crossed his arms to hug himself.

---

@arthurwright
>:u

he is almost startled by chu-e's observation. at the moment, he feels like his mannerisms had gone back to when he was being scolded by his father. he would look down, he would fidget, and his stance was...well, non-existent. he does not mean to look like what he did up on the mountain was wrong, but his conflicting emotions betray him, and he finds himself unable to move immediately. still, he tries to loosen his posture, despite going against years of trained habit to do so. curiously, he had never thought of the other trying to hit him or anything. that never crossed his mind. it's really just...he doesn't know if he could move any closer. he doesn't know how the other feels about him.

but he purses his lip, because as much as the words made him feel frustrated by, well, everything, chu-e is right. he had known since the moment they met that they are of two opposite ends on the grunt spectrum, and even if his father's company does not have as big of an influence here compared to johto, losing him would hit rocket's resources by a noticeable amount. he isn't sure why he had developed feelings for him--such is one of the mysteries of this foolish brain that has betrayed him more than once. at the same time, chu-e's words are not as sharp as they normally are. no matter how much he denies it, arthur takes a small comfort that it had affected him deep down. maybe as much as him.

the last part hits him like a shitton of bricks, but it confirms his suspicion. it's seeing him like this that twists his guts, makes his chest burn. he places the plastic bag down and ventures a chance, sitting at the edge of the bed; their bodies almost as close as they were on the mountain. a small gap separates them, though. a thin line that marks them. arthur is facing the opposite direction of chu-e, and he doesn't notice the other's blush because he frankly looks worse off. he curls his fingers on his lap, trying to force himself to speak. but what words would be right? what can he say that would make this right?

"i can't be...i can't be as composed as i want to be--as you might want me to be--but at least i can be honest." he mutters; his insides feeling like they're being tied into knots. "i don't..." he lets out a shaky sigh, remembering the first time that he had developed an attachment to someone. this isn't the first time, definitely, but it is the first since he had moved to hoenn. he thought he had left all of that behind in johto along with his stupid, shameless self. he remembers a lot of promises and none of them kept on both ends. he remembers the absolute heartbreak of someone who just wanted to try everything, even the pain that love songs croon on about. how foolish he was. and yet...here he is. a little older, wiser? probably not, considering he had fallen into this trap once again. yet this time he is more determined to get this right. he wants to try. "it's selfish of me to say, but i am attached, and because of that...i don't want to lose you. it...it hurts to see you broken, and even i don't understand why." the words finally tumble out of his mouth and he rubs his arm to avoid his fingernails digging into his skin. "and...i really liked that kiss too, even if you call it a coward's kiss." it looks like that's all he'll ever really be: a coward. it's why he couldn't fight for the position of heir. it's why he decided to just leave the company and align with rocket. these things had consequences, and he guised it with a mask of utility, but deep down he knows he's scared out of his wits. by now he imagines his cheeks must be scarlet. he can feel it burn, and if this is going to end in the worst possible way...

'up on the mountain, you said that you don't judge something until you try it twice, so..." he doesn't complete the sentence, but he is sure that chu-e understands what he is talking about. all there is after this if he is willing to try again, without the concussion this time. with both of them fully conscious of what they're doing. it's terrifying.

---

Chu-e Choi
notes: hi, take the gay

It should take time for Chu-e to digest what Arthur is saying. He knows it's best to sit and think things through. It's always been more fun to look before he leaps but this time he hesitates. Just a moment, just enough for his breath to hitch. He hasn't felt so much at once since he was a teenager. Its too much and might spill over, leak from his face in fat drops. Water collects at the corners of his eyes but doesn't fall.

This is part of why he locks everything away. Mimi had always teased him for being a crybaby. Chu-e would cry over everything- the bug on tv looked sad, his favorite toy was in the wash, he couldn't hold both is parent's and his sister's hand at the same time, the dryer had eaten a sock so one was lonely and wouldn't have a pair. As a child and even into his teenage years, before the record scratches his brain and won't allow him to go further, he had always been emotional.

It was a change that was like forcing a round peg into a square hole. The other way wouldn't work, yes, but a round one would slide right inside. It wouldn't be right, wouldn't match, and that was where Chu-e was at. Now he had a pride he never seemed to need before and wouldn't allow the tears to fall. Maybe later.

Chu-e hesitated but habits are hard to break. So he fills his lungs with shaky air and he leaps.

Arthur is so close already, unprepared, teetering on his own edge much like Chu-e is. He grabs for his shirt to bunch his fists in and pull him back, closer, around so he can slot his lips against the others.

Chu-e's kiss is pushy and hard enough to make teeth clink. He doesn't have the finesse Arthur had on the mountain. His lip might be bleeding, on the inside, a little taste of iron to take off the edge. Chu-e's lips are chapped from the aftermath of the mountain and he is sloppy and rushed. He does not know how to kiss like a coward but he tries. It leaves much to be desired on his end.

But Arthur is still just as warm under him as he was before. Just as soft under his touch. His fingers and shoulders and body relaxes as he tries to push harder, deeper, his luck, and he finds himself wanting to mess up Arthur's hair. He wants to pulls his head back and kiss him breathless.

Chu-e is the one who forgets how to breath, though, and he has to pull away. Quick and gasping. His face is red as it comes back to him what he just did.

Sweetness flicks her tail, still curled up, watching as her trainer fumbles, the silent observer to a fledgling romance.

---

@arthurwright
this is so fucking melodramatic and i love it lmao

the silence deafens. it covers the room in too many inches of invisible snow, so much that it feels suffocating. he hears his own heart pounding on the walls of his chest, unsure if anything he said was right, unsure of what would happen next. in the room with only the two of them (he forgets that sweetness is still on the other's lap), everything is laid bare without words. they have an opportunity to do so without being judged by the entire world.

and then things blur, they happen so fast. he is suddenly facing chu-e before he feels roughness on him, a texture and taste that reminds him of something that he is not proud of. but it has been a while since he has last done anything like this. it has been a while since someone else has shown hunger for him. he does not shy away; he reciprocates when he is given opportunity, pulling him closer with a free hand that makes its way to the other's neck like before. his thumb glides over his skin for a moment, but he finds himself out of breath–chu-e is the first to pull away, though, in a mess that leaves both of them scarlet. he finds his breathing a little ragged; that flurry of lips and teeth and tongue had lasted a lot longer than he had anticipated. his red-colored eyes watch the other carefully before he inches a little closer and takes a better look at the other's face, noting his features like it's the first time he has ever seen them. he has forgotten how it's like to be this close with someone, to let the barriers down for a moment as they share a moment in silence. 

he lets out a long, drawn out exhale. he lets his shoulders sink before closing his eyes and pulling chu-e into a gentler, longer kiss. both of his hands are on him, this time, not wanting to let him go. that's what he wants, right? arthur knows that he himself wants it. now that they're not in such a dangerous environment, he can actually focus on it, and loses himself he does. but he is eventually forced to part before running out of breath; his head hung because he knows that his face gives away all. nonetheless, he lets out a small laugh. he runs a hand to his cheek and feels the warmth radiating from it. embarrassing, he thinks, yet he is somehow happy. is it too early to be happy? "i hope you are not toying with me." he mutters, looking at him now, "that...that would hurt." but he actually has a hint of an almost goofy smile on him. he didn't want this to end, yet he wonders if it would all come crashing down. this is not going to work out well, isn't it? or does he dare to hope that somehow, unlikely as it would be, he is able to get a hold of the beast?

---

Chu-e Choi
notes: i love your writing it makes me want to cry. mine's poop.

Once when Chu-e was seven he had to get a tooth pulled. It had hurt for days, a deep ache, before his dentist had to pull it. He had been scared, he didn't like the dentist, and when the tooth was out it still hurt but in a different way. The quiet in the air between them makes his chest ache in much the same way. The bandage had been ripped off and with it came relief even if the skin was still tender and stung.

He allows himself to be kissed, to be drawn into something softer, and he tries again to make this right. To slot his mouth in a better angle, to nibble and not devour like he had tried previously. He leans himself against the other's chest with a one-armed balance, lifts his free hand to stroke Arthur's cheek with his thumb.

He drops his hand when they part, hides his face in the curve of Arthur's neck- and nips the skin there because he can. It's comfortable and warm in a way that reminds him how tired he still is from their adventure on the mountain. That he had only really woken up because the nurse had to check on him. His face is hot and he knows this is a stupid, stupid thing to do.

"I was thinking the same thing." Chu-e reaches up to toy with Arthur's collar, more so to have something to do with his hands than anything else. "I have my own leverages. People would wanna use them." Like a direct line to the other Beasts, the Under-bosses, to Silas himself. Grunts to toy around with. Other perks that come with power and fear. "Are you going to break my heart, Arthur?"

---

@arthurwright
i feel that way about my own writing tho jdfajsdh

The warmth of him is nice. This room is cold. Chu-e will ask for another blanket when the nurse comes.. For now he noses closer, allows himself to be held. This moment will end soon, he can feel it, and he wants to savor it while he can.

"You're strange." Is what he finally answers. "You're not hungry for more like some others I know. You've talked to me long enough to get attached. Maybe your head isn't screwed on right."

Chu-e reluctantly sits up, pulls away, rests himself back into a sitting position on the bed and only winces a little at moving his sore foot so much. While he was the one who wanted to enjoy this while he could he is the one to ruin it, too. As is life.

"I wouldn't be sitting here with you if you were greedy. Of all the sins that one is my least favorite. Greed makes you do some of the most reprehensible things out there." He hummed, gave a wry little grin. "That's laughable, coming from me. I've done terrible things. But even a monster has it's own morals. I think it's cute you have them, too."

"I don't think I would mind if you visited again. Or saw me again. Or...." Reaching over to grab his bag, the nurses had been kind enough to place his things where he could reach, Chu-e dug around until he pulled out a dinosaur of a cell phone. He passed it over to Arthur to take. "That hunk of junk still texts. It's the only personal one I have." All of his burner phones were hidden away. If Arthur bothered to take a look, he would find that there were no contacts in this phone. Just a few poor quality pictures of Chu-e's pokemon.

"I feel like I should be doing something more poignant after you just spilled your guts to me. I'm not good at this, Arthur. I might never be good at any of this. There are bits of me inside that broke a long time ago and grew back wrong. All jagged and warped. Do you really want that?" Somewhere in his little speech, Chu-e had fisted the blankets tightly.

---

@arthurwright
maybe end this one in the next post or so? c:

With a soft hum, Chu-e allows Arthur to take his hand. Even that much is different, showing what walks of like they have both come from; Arthur's hand has a softness to it while Chu-e's is rough from the harsh things he's lived through. It's just another stark reminder of their stations, of what could happen.

"I don't know why I haven't told you to 'fuck off' either. I was ready to kill you that day in Slateport." He means that literally. He trusts Arthur to know that much. "I'm glad I didn't. But you're right. My eyes feel like they're weighted down and this is... a lot. I need to think about things."

He takes his old phone, tucks it away; he can read that text when Arthur is gone.

"Next time you see me I want to be treated like your Princess, White Knight. I want this. Don't make me regret any of this, okay?" He gives a small wave, sits back, sighs when Arthur is gone and stares back out the window.

It was snowing outside again.

---

@arthurwright
// end thread!!