Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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Dr. Doug
He/Him
20 (40)
March 3
Viridian City, Kanto
It just works
Lt. Colonel, Medical Corps
AQUA Initiative
Dreaming
of our future
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
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John Sullivan
Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Mar 21, 2021 15:54:07 GMT
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It reverberated inside the empty gymnasium, the clanging of chains, in time with the rhythmic clap of nylon.

Someone was working the sandbags. Hard. A surprise perhaps, given how silent the place had been that day.

The Gymnasium had been mostly empty following the Press Conference held by the League had been hijacked towards the end.

In the wake of Rocket's public return, few were the ones who could simply continue going about their day. A monumental, shocking reveal for all of Hoenn, regular schedules had been inevitably put aside as families came together to process what had been learned, and decided on what to do.

He had no such thing, and the revelation had only served to remind him of such.

His naked knuckles ached as he slammed them into the sandbag again and again, the heavy mass swinging into his next blow again and again.





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shiv

the machampion
he/him
25
July 17
Kanto
pansexual
gym leader
gym leader
kyle lopez
married
5'7" height
5'7" height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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noah faber
Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Mar 27, 2021 7:32:33 GMT
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 the sound is therapeutic. as the sand courses inside its binding, noah can feel a burning on his fists, even when he is not the one training. quietly, noah slides into the room. he takes a seat on a nearby bench, water bottle dangling from his fingertips as he holds it lazily between his legs.

when the gym leader finds a lull, he asks, "a lot on your mind lately?"



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Dr. Doug
He/Him
20 (40)
March 3
Viridian City, Kanto
It just works
Lt. Colonel, Medical Corps
AQUA Initiative
Dreaming
of our future
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
You're being healed. Please do not resist.
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John Sullivan
Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Mar 27, 2021 14:38:50 GMT
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A particularly firm swing marked the beginning of the lull, the explosive force sending the sangbag swinging far. The panting Doug didn't even try to stop or evade it when it inevitably swung back, slapping soundly into his chest and sending the youth sprawling, flooring him onto the mats.

His heavy breaths were the only sound in the Gymnasium for but a moment, before Noah's voice cut through the silence. Doug would have jolted if he had the energy; he hadn't noticed there was anyone else at all.

"No." He drawled out, uncharacteristic acid and sarcasm in his tone. "All of m'worst fears are comin' true, what's there to think about? Don't think, feel. All that jazz."

He was feeling all right.

The youth rolled onto his chest and forced himself to stand up, stumbling as he turned around to face the sangbag once more, the look on his face dark as he dragged his forearm over his dripping chin.

"Ya were there when it happened." Doug said as he raised his fists once more in an orthodox boxing stance, his brow furrowing further as he glared at the sandbag. "'Em filthy rats are back."

THUD!


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shiv

the machampion
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25
July 17
Kanto
pansexual
gym leader
gym leader
kyle lopez
married
5'7" height
5'7" height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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noah faber
Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Mar 29, 2021 7:01:54 GMT
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 he was there, yes. paralyzed by the bouquet of camera lights. the microphones felt sharp. he felt exposed even when half-hidden by a table and a fence of recording equipment. however, perhaps, more infuriating, was the inability to bark back at a screen playing a prerecorded video.

"shitty." noah says. "i don't blame you for feeling the way you're feeling, man." he stands up from the groaning bleachers and takes a few steps closer. "but it's not the end of the world yet. we'll take them down again."


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Dr. Doug
He/Him
20 (40)
March 3
Viridian City, Kanto
It just works
Lt. Colonel, Medical Corps
AQUA Initiative
Dreaming
of our future
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
You're being healed. Please do not resist.
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John Sullivan
Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Mar 31, 2021 0:04:08 GMT
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Another blow rocked the sangbag following Noah's words, a snarl leaving the youth's mouth as his scowl deepened.

"Again." He parroted, swinging again at the sandbag. "And then let them escape and hide again, so they can try all over again."

His hands moved to catch the sandbag as it came swinging back with a vengeance, the youth panting against it as his fingers curled into the nylon, squeezing it tightly as he grit his teeth.

And then, just like that, he deflated against it, his forehead bumping against the sack as he released a long breath, his scowl softening into a exhausted frown.

"Don't matter how many legs ya cut off an Ariados." He muttered lowly. "If ya leave the head alone it'll just grow 'em back."

It didn't matter how many times a country repelled an invasive force, if its reserves and infrastructure were housed in another, far away land.

The Rockets would just bide their time while Hoenn and the rest of the nations of the world did nothing, and try again, wiser to Hoenn's tricks.



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shiv

the machampion
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25
July 17
Kanto
pansexual
gym leader
gym leader
kyle lopez
married
5'7" height
5'7" height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Apr 3, 2021 20:22:06 GMT
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 noah scratches his head. the root of the matter can't be addressed by him. far from worlds polemical and theoretical, the verdanturf gym leader has no answers. just questions.

"seems like it." he says. "have any ideas, then?" noah moves to the punching bag, one hand braced upon it as he looks upon the other with searching eyes.


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Dr. Doug
He/Him
20 (40)
March 3
Viridian City, Kanto
It just works
Lt. Colonel, Medical Corps
AQUA Initiative
Dreaming
of our future
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
You're being healed. Please do not resist.
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John Sullivan
Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Apr 5, 2021 2:14:05 GMT
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Doug remained silent for a moment, body language tired and fed up... before sighing and pulling away from the punching bag. Seemed like Noah was going to be holding it in place.

"Well... It's complicated. Ya know?" He said, stepping back and taking position, before swinging a sluggish fist to the bag, barely budging it.

Thud.

"A famous general once said, 'all warfare is based in deception.'"

He swung again, three times, with both fists. Left, right, left. Compact, well practiced, still wek.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

"When able to attack, seem unable. When active, seem inactive. When near, seem far. When far, seem near." He said, punching lightly against the bag each time.

Thud, thud, thud-

THUD!

Without warning, he had released his dominant arm, punching the heavy sandbag with a booming sound.

"So... why are they revealing themselves publicly?" He asked Noah back. "Far as I can tell, they are making a show of confidence in order to make the league believe 'em more powerful than they really are... Or they are real dumb."

Or...

He sighed.

"Or they are playin' some mind games, making plans and going for goals I'm too dumb to see." Much more likely.


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shiv

the machampion
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25
July 17
Kanto
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gym leader
gym leader
kyle lopez
married
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5'7" height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Apr 8, 2021 6:53:00 GMT
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 noah in fact wasn't holding the bag— and in a comical lunge to action, his other hand swiftly locks the equipment in place. the final punch startles him again. in the air, noah can see the dust scatter violently within a ray of light.

"naw, don't call yourself dumb." noah says. "not knowing and being dumb are totally different things, man."

he lets go of the punching bag and instead, pats the other on the shoulder. it's a bit rough. less grace. more brutish with the promise of some man to man reassurance.

"i think we gotta think of like, what we can control, y'know?" noah grins. "like the little things. not the big, out there things."


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Dr. Doug
He/Him
20 (40)
March 3
Viridian City, Kanto
It just works
Lt. Colonel, Medical Corps
AQUA Initiative
Dreaming
of our future
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
You're being healed. Please do not resist.
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John Sullivan
Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Apr 9, 2021 19:29:55 GMT
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Doug's deflated frame rattled as Noah's hand clapped his shoulder, his hands flopping back down to his sides.

Noah's words were well meaning, but did little to comfort him. After all-

Noah was a respected Gym Leader. The league told him stuff, trusted him to handle stuff, even let him take part in and handle the terrifically stressful task that had been the Press Conference.

Doug had not accomplished anything truly important yet, and the Rockets had come back before he could prove himself. Important meetings were being had and decisions were being made and Doug had no involvement whatsoever in either.

He needed to get up faster.

"What do I even have control of?" Doug asked Noah, turning his furrowed, tired gaze to the shorter man.


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shiv

the machampion
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25
July 17
Kanto
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gym leader
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i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Apr 12, 2021 6:10:41 GMT
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 noah's hand remains.

"well," the answers don't come easy, for noah wonders if they'll ever be enough, "you can control your training, getting yourself prepared as much as you can if rocket attacks."

he doesn't stop there, his hand a firm fixture on the other's shoulder.

"enjoying the day, treating yourself, y'know." noah hums. "the little things count. i used to think of the big picture way too much, y'know what i'm trying to say? got overwhelming." he frowns. a small one like a the tiniest c for concern. "i don't want you to get into that headspace or else it'll be hard to crawl out of."



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Dr. Doug
He/Him
20 (40)
March 3
Viridian City, Kanto
It just works
Lt. Colonel, Medical Corps
AQUA Initiative
Dreaming
of our future
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
You're being healed. Please do not resist.
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John Sullivan
Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Apr 14, 2021 21:31:54 GMT
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He didn't know what else he expected.

"That ain't control, man! What'da'ya think all the soldiers who died last time did, every single day?" Doug said with a sigh, wrenching his shoulder off Noah's grip.

He was tired of platitudes. Had been so since Kanto.

His foot shot out, punt-kicking the sand bag ineffectively.

"There's no ifs. They will attack. They are always the ones attacking." He said bitterly.

The league possessed numerical advantage, but even home-ground advantage seemed to go to the Rockets, who gave them all the slip every single time, running circles around them with seeming contemptible ease.

"We are always on the receiving end. They know exactly were to strike, while we know nothing. Loss of life, damaged infrastructure, loss of the public's trust; every mistake puts us on thin ice. Makes more people think, reconsider." His digits came to squeeze at the sandbag, the fabric crinkling under his tightening grip.

You didn't need to be smart to see what Rockets were trying to do. He only hoped the propaganda was seen for what it was. That people hadn't forgotten the horror of Slateport, or Verdanturf and Fallarbor.

"But for them? Nothing. We don't know anything, So even after they've revealed themselves, I- we can't do shit." He said.

Maybe that's why they had felt so confident in revealing themselves to the public. The pros of lying to the masses and making those false, empty promises to an uncertain public far outweighed the cons. After all, what was the League going to do?

Have the commissioner throw a bunch of platitudes at some press con?

"What am I even training for? I didn't join the army to fucking survive." The youth said, as he leaned his forehead against the sandbag, teeth grit and eyes squeezed shut tight. "I wanted to prevent shit like Slateport from happening, man. But at this rate, they'll do it all over again, and It'll be too late when we push back; another kid will have lost his mom, his dad, his friends...!"


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the machampion
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25
July 17
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i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Apr 16, 2021 5:27:39 GMT
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 noah lets his arms fall to his sides. he dares not cross them over his chest, and allows the breath to fill him openly. within the echoey room, noah listens— and captures the residual turmoil found in the fading sounds.

"i'm talking about your control, man." noah says. "you're training hard, but you're like, heading into the worst case scenario, y'know?"

holding a finger out, in an echo of 's own habit, noah pushes it against doug's forehead.

"as far as i can tell, rocket's already won the mental game. they're living in your head."


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Dr. Doug
He/Him
20 (40)
March 3
Viridian City, Kanto
It just works
Lt. Colonel, Medical Corps
AQUA Initiative
Dreaming
of our future
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
You're being healed. Please do not resist.
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John Sullivan
Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Apr 16, 2021 20:28:33 GMT
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Doug had no reply to that. Just a sour expression and zero clue what to do about them 'living in his head'.

He had been fine before they revealed themselves, even though he hadn't truly believed they were gone. How could he? Kanto was still under their thumb- believing them to be defeated would have been denial at best.

But perhaps he had bought into it, despite his best judgement. Bought into the pretty lies, because they gave him some peace of mind.

"... What do I do?" He asked, tired. "I can't just turn off these thoughts. I can't stop thinkin'. I can't calm down. My chest's been fit to burst all day, from the moment they came out to right now..."

Even now, feeling tired and exhausted, his pulse felt like a million miles an hour.


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shiv

the machampion
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25
July 17
Kanto
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gym leader
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Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Apr 22, 2021 5:27:58 GMT
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 "just breathe, bro."

noah inhales. the chest swells broad and full. his hands form an upside down arch, fingertips meeting in a graceful bridge at his navel.

"like how you'd do in the middle of a fight. clears the brain a bit. gotta do it a bunch though." he blows a steady stream from his lips. noah's eyes slide toward the bag, catching phantom fists from doug's previous punishment. "the exercise is good though. nice punches. getting really good at it."



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Dr. Doug
He/Him
20 (40)
March 3
Viridian City, Kanto
It just works
Lt. Colonel, Medical Corps
AQUA Initiative
Dreaming
of our future
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
5' 11" (181 cm) / 180 lbs (82 kg) height
You're being healed. Please do not resist.
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John Sullivan
Anger & Anguish [S/Noah]
POSTED ON Apr 23, 2021 17:54:37 GMT
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had taught him how to handle his breathing before- somehow, it hadn't come to mind to him to put it in practice now.

Probably because Doug didn't really want to be calm. He wanted to do something about those Rockets. But that was the problem- there was nothing he could possibly do.

So he breathed. Almost certainly not in the manner Noah hoped, borderline hyperventilating as he puffed air in and out of his lungs. Eventually, light headedness won out, leaving the youth stumbling back and leaning into the punching bag, the first real, slow breath coming soon after, finally following Noah's instructions and example.

It did not work immediately, and that alone almost made the youth go back to hyperventilating.

He managed to ignore that need.

His slow breathing was only disrupted when the non sequitour came, chocking up a laugh halfway through deep breath.

"Th- thanks." He grunted out, forcing a weak grin as he panted. "Glad ya think so. Wouldn't want to have been wasting yer time, eh?"

The Gym Leader surely had enough on his plate with his own life and duties- adding mentoring Doug and furthermore dealing with Doug's emotional crap was probably above his paygrade. He really appreciated it.
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