Like a dog whipped by its master, he follows.

Hollow. That's how he feels as they stand in the dark, eyes slowly readjusting to the lack of light as they loom over his kill. Vacant. Like he knows that there should be something there, but there is nothing. Empty.

Unfocused eyes blink as the mind processes a more complex command. A bloodied hand extends from his pocket, opens to reveal the closed blade in his palm.

[attr="class","beck"]theo doesn't bother sparing a glance around them. he knows they're alone. the moment his hand wraps around the handle, the blade slides free, and he rams it into merlino's thigh.

"scream and i'll kill you."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

He doesn't see it coming.

Pain drags him back from the abyss, a brilliant explosion of agony in his thigh. Its fortunate that his first reaction, then, is a choked gasp of confusion. He's in shock, clarity returning to his eyes as they water.

The threat registers, and he bites down on his own arm to muffle a howl of agony. There's blood in his mouth, pressure on his arm from the force of it but all he can concentrate on is that his leg fucking hurts. His knee buckles, free hand flashing out to catch the brick wall in a gesture that scrapes rough against his palm.

Instinct screams at him to fight back, but conditioning wins out. His chest heaves with a strangled sob, blood-spattered wall the only thing holding him up.

[attr="class","beck"]"you'll be fine."

the knife is the only thing stopping merlino from bleeding out. he has a contingency if need be, but he doubts it. merlino's too shocked to do anything but whimper and cower.

"what did i tell you in saffron?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

Cillian Quinn will never be fine again. There is no going back after an innocent life is extinguished in the hopes of one's own survival. He will not be legally declared deceased until many years later, assumed to have perished in Kanto's ruins, but the boy that was Cillian Quinn dies in a dark alley with THEO BECKETT standing over him.

From the ashes, Gavin Merlino will be forged.

He doesn't answer immediately, afraid to release the death grip on his own arm. When he withdraws it, beads of blood spring from deep marks left by his teeth.

He heaves with the urge to vomit, but nothing comes up. He's doubled over against the wall spitting his own blood. "You fuckin — why'd you stab me first?"

[attr="class","beck"]again, his hand whips up, grabs merlino by his jaw, and slams the back of his head against the wall. blood oozes, dripping down brick into an already tainted pool of red. he leans in close, sighing frustrations.

"what did i tell you in saffron?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

Stars burst in his vision and he cuts off a cry of pain by biting his own tongue. He wants to spit the blood that pools beneath it but knows better when Theo is inches from his face, the man's hand gripping his jaw.

This time, he sees Theo through his watering eyes.

"Which part," he chokes, unable to lean back for the wall in his way. Blood bubbles at his lip. "You said a lot of shit, how am I supposed to know which bit you mean?"

[attr="class","beck"]"watch your tone."

his free hand reaches to grasp the knife and pushes it even deeper. it practically lodges in place, unable to move without causing excruciating amounts of pain. through exasperation, he repeats it word for word:

"orders are orders. you follow them obediently. blindly. even if it kills you."

they've been instilled so deep that it's almost effortless to recite. it escapes naturally, flawlessly, like a dog trained to bark on command.

"you failed to do just that."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

It is not the first time he's been conditioned.

'Watch your tone,' may as well have been magic words for the effect that they have on him, slipping past blind pain and anger to reach the logical mind below.

He's a smart man. He understands.

But if he'd planned to speak, to apologize or even to bite back, it's choked off by a cry that becomes a whimper through gritted teeth. The knife is buried to its hilt in his thigh. Don't scream, echoes through his thoughts like a broken record. Beyond it, he can barely register Theo's words. Don't scream.

It feels like he might pass out.

"I f... I followed..." He can barely get the words out. They're weak on his lips. His head is swimming. "I killed..." He gestures meekly at the ground; his victim remains feet away, his blood a sticky pool. When he looks up, his gaze is filled with a confusion that could only be genuine through a haze of pain. Don't scream... he'll kill...

Gavin sways on his feet, swallows his own blood. Doesn't scream.

[attr="class","beck"]merlino's body weakens, slackens — realizing his grip is the only thing keeping the grunt upright, he releases and watches him crumple to the bloody floor. he sighs, takes a moment to breathe, then reaches down to drag merlino off to the side.

two pokeballs burst open, forming a bayleef and a charizard. the grass-type sniffs at merlino's unconscious body, looks to its trainer, then promptly spreads an AROMATHERAPY across the alley. it's soothing, calming, and it's what allows theo to step away. it begins its work, starting the first wave of HEAL PULSE that slowly mends merlino's wounds.

eventually, merlino will awaken to the smell of burning flesh.

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

He comes around slow to the scent of charred flesh mixed with summer roses. It turns his stomach; this time, when he gags, he spits up bile into a pool of blood. He doesn't know where he is. It's dark, and it smells like death.

This does not remind him of home. It does not remind him of his father. Brutal as the elder Quinn had been, this experience is Rocket's alone.

Everything hurts.

When he looks up, when he sees Theo, Gavin remembers. It crashes back in unsteady images to haunt his mind. When he looks down at his leg, coated in drying blood, he finds the wound is closed but not healed. It will pain him for weeks to come.

A reminder.

"I followed your orders, sir." Though he blinks up at Theo, he is not defiant. He does not attempt to get up. His voice is soft, confused. "Why...?"

[attr="class","beck"]"did you?"

when bayleef finishes the last of its HEAL PULSE, it turns then to its trainer and nudges against his hands. exposed knuckles flash colors of dark blue and purple, and as bayleef summons another pulse, a resounding "no," stops it.

the pain is good. it reminds him. it grounds him.

"he walked out of the bathroom alive."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

Celadon's air is warm, but Gavin shivers. Pain and blood loss leave him weak, dizzy.

This time, when Theo spells it out, Gavin does not challenge him. In his brain, the pieces click together. Obediently. Blindly. Even if it kills you. Had he been blind, he would not have seen the glimpse of humanity to make him hesitate.

He leans his head back to seek support from the wall, flinches as pain reminds him of the admin's reprimand. Obedient. Blind. Don't scream, or he'll kill you. Things he internalizes. Breath shudders as it leaves his lungs.

"I understand, sir."