"Fuck you."

But though he aims for cold, venomous, it comes out as strangled and hurt.

"You really thought it was me."

He'd seen it in Beckett's eyes, right before the knock on the door.

[attr="class","beck"]"the evidence was clear."

venom, hurt, they all bounce right off him. he exhales smoke that soon clouds them.

"i didn't have a choice."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

"If it was clear, I'd be dead."

Beckett's lack of emotion only serves to upset Gavin more.

"You had a choice. You chose."

His jaw trembles.

[attr="class","beck"]"i suppose i did."

his jaw stills.

"but i didn't want to kill you."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

"You think that matters?"

Gavin shakes his head, wide-eyed and disbelieving.

"You would've. You were going to. You didn't believe me."

He chokes off another snappy retort with a shudder of pain, nails dragging against the wall. He almost loses his balance, remains on his feet out of sheer spite.

[attr="class","beck"]"i wasn't going to."

his voice lowers, almost muted. he looks away, not wanting to watch merlino struggle to remain on his feet.

"the pain will pass soon."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

"So, what, you were going to let some kid do it instead?"

In his pain, in his anger, Gavin is bold. Theo's apathy only eggs him on.

"Yeah. Ten minutes, you said. Trust me, I've been counting the fucking seconds."

He's shivering despite the fire in his bloodstream.

[attr="class","beck"]there's nothing to be done, he decides, as he simply tilts his head away. he stares out the window into the darkness of the night and does his best to ignore the other presence in the room.

it's difficult.

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

Theo turns away from him, and Gavin's anger curdles into misery.

With no stubborn need to remain on his feet, he slumps against the wall and buries his head between his knees, breathing shallow and shaky.

Seven minutes, now, he tells himself. Six...

[attr="class","beck"]it takes too long for the six minutes to pass. he's on his fourth cigarette by the time he's sure the poison has been rendered painless. he finally returns his gaze then.

"done?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

Pain fades, but Gavin is still trembling when Theo finally addresses him.

He looks up, eyes rimmed red and vacant. It takes some effort to move his jaw, so stiffened was it from clenching.

"Yes," he mumbles, then, "...sir."

[attr="class","beck"]finally. he exhales, then extends out a pack of cigarettes and gestures to the chair. he takes an involuntary glance around, as if paranoid, then leans forward.

"you would've lived regardless."

what he truly means is implied — all he can do is hope merlino catches it.

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

It takes effort to get to his feet. It's embarrassing, the way his limbs almost fold beneath his weight, but he uses the wall as leverage and waits a few seconds for the room to stop spinning before he staggers toward the chair and sits down.

Ever obedient, even now.

There's a quiver in his fingertips as he takes a cigarette from the pack, struggles to light it while stubbornly refusing to ask for help.

The implication is caught, but not entirely understood.

"Even if I'd sold you out?" His brow furrows before he quickly corrects, "Which I didn't, sir, I swear it, I would never, I just — they really thought it was me, didn't they?"

You thought, too, didn't you?