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The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.

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I’ll burn the world to ash

POSTED ON Jul 4, 2021 4:03:43 GMT

Alexei Ivanov likes this

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Vic watched him. Really watched him. Watched how he struggled with his words, watched how he hesitated, watched how he avoided the question, and also watched how he tried to act brave about all these things that had haunted him since he was born.
[break][break]
It didn’t seem right at all.
[break][break]
“Wh-wh-what else can I do… than to just face it head-on?”
[break][break]
Instead of saying anything, he pinched the other boy’s arm. Not too hard, but hard enough to make him stop.
[break][break]
”Hey! I don’t really get what all that’s like, and I don’t think I ever will, but like… You can’t give up on yourself like that, Alex. Don’t you have... mm,... goals and stuff? Things you want to do when we’re out of school! Being sick may be a part of your life, but it’s not everything about it, right?” These words were said with such a confident smile. The confidence of someone who had spent the entirety of his short fourteen years of life knowing exactly what he wanted to do when he grew up, and slowly but surely working towards that. Vic had goals, Vic had ambitions, and he wasn’t going to let anything get in his way when it came to that.
[break][break]
”I know you probably didn’t mean it like that, but you’re right: you gotta fight!”

[break][break]

+ Alexei Ivanov

[attr="class","credit"]milky

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played by

Ven

Alex / Lexy

he / him / his

thirty

december 22

Mistralton, Unova

homosexual demiromantic

fortree gym leader

gym leader

just to make you happy

1423 height

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Alexei Ivanov

POSTED ON Jul 4, 2021 4:54:35 GMT

Victor Wexler likes this

“Goals?” he blinked, listening to Vic and what he had to say.

His eyes grew wide in alarm as the other had touched him; this was exactly he wanted to avoid, and he was about to grab the pinkette’s arm to make him stop. What part of what he just explained earlier (or at least tried to) did he not understand about not getting injured or physically—

“How—how about you? I-I mean, y-you obviously d-do, but—“ he began to stammer, before realizing that his throat was prickling—another sign that he was about to start crying.

“Vic, l-l-look at me!” he said at last, pulling his arm away before a bruise formed.

“I-I-I can’t do much, b-b-b-because, a lot of—a lot of th-th-things, that I want to chase after—are improbable, if-if not impossible! I-I-i-I d-do have d-dreams, yes, b-b-but they’re… f-for someone like m-me, who…who runs the risk of b-b-bleeding t-to death from just a very tiny little bump, or a s-s-scratch, o-o-or a bruise—do you think I can chase after that without getting physically h-h-hurt? Th-th-those dreams?!”

Blinking furiously, he took a deep breath, before he wrapped his arms around his body, shaking.

“Th-th-the only thing… I want t-t-to do, that—that I feel, is s-s-safe enough… is… is to f-f-fly. Fly… away.”

Shaking his head for a few moments, he sighed before he turned to face the pinkette once more, unable to stop himself from crying.

“V—Vic.”

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played by

Azul

Vic

He/Him

June 21st

Mistralton City, Unova

Pansexual

Fortree Ranger Captain

Elite Ranger

158 height

The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.

awards

377 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @vic

I’ll burn the world to ash

POSTED ON Jul 4, 2021 7:19:47 GMT

Alexei Ivanov likes this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxb"]

”Me? Of course I have goals! I–” He was going to tell his friend exactly what his goals were, exactly what he dreamt of becoming someday, but the other boy’s tone grew louder, and he seemed to be freaking out even more than what he had been earlier.
[break][break]
Oh.
[break][break]
This was not what Vic had intended for at all. He didn’t know what to do. But, he also wasn’t selfish enough to keep talking about himself when his friend was almost crying...
[break][break]
”Alex…” How could he explain it to him? How could he make him understand? Alex had spent his whole life battling things Vic himself would never face, and it sounded like that whole time he also had people telling him he wasn't going to get very far. How could he convince someone after a life like that? How could he make him listen? Vic didn't know how to answer all of those questions, but he had to try. ”...No one said dreams are supposed to be easy.”
[break][break]
They weren’t. That he did know. His own dreams seemed impossibly far, but there was still something that always made him smile about the thought of one day reaching those heights…
[break][break]
”You’ve made it this far, right? I bet you could fly away someday!” Lavender eyes met lilac ones, and despite it all, there was a smile.
[break][break]

[break][break]

+ Alexei Ivanov

[attr="class","credit"]milky

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played by

Ven

Alex / Lexy

he / him / his

thirty

december 22

Mistralton, Unova

homosexual demiromantic

fortree gym leader

gym leader

just to make you happy

1423 height

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5,054 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @alexei

Alexei Ivanov

POSTED ON Jul 4, 2021 9:16:58 GMT

Victor Wexler likes this

“They never were meant to be easy,” he began with a sigh as he rubbed a hand across his eyes. Ah, hell.

“It’s… it’s just that I have… a higher… a h-higher barrier to c-c-cross before I can… get there. If-if only humans c-c-could grow wings, l-l-like that father…and son. Who flew to th-their freedom, b-b-but…the kid went t-t-too close to the sun and died after he f-f-fell.”

I wish I was a bird… he thought to himself as he took a deep breath, an attempt to calm himself down.

“I want to be a bird. I-I-I wish I was one… free to fly. Unbothered by most things,” he said once he’d quieted down, stretching a hand out to the sky, an attempt to ‘grab’ a cloud.

“Flying—up there. Free. No w-w-worries, nothing t-t-to care about, just—just them, the sky—the open air. Freedom.”

Clearly it was something he lacked in spades.

“S-s-sorry if I went off on you like that, Vic.”

He then grabbed the last cookie (a red velvet one) and broke it in half.

“F-f-forgive me?” he asked, holding out the other half.

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played by

Azul

Vic

He/Him

June 21st

Mistralton City, Unova

Pansexual

Fortree Ranger Captain

Elite Ranger

158 height

The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.

awards

377 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @vic

I’ll burn the world to ash

POSTED ON Jul 4, 2021 10:35:13 GMT

Alexei Ivanov likes this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxb"]

”Mmm… Well, if what you want is to actually be a bird, I bet you could pass for a Rufflet!” A joke. One that came quickly and smoothly, and that was followed by a short laugh; ruffling his friend’s hair for no more than a second so it would somewhat resemble the Eaglet Pokémon’s white ruff. If anything, it was an instinctive attempt to ease the tension between them in one of the only ways he knew how. The kind of thing he did when his sister was upset or when things were tense among his friends.
[break][break]
”But, you know… if what you want is to be free, then I think you can do that. Your parents won’t decide everything about your life forever, right?” With these words, he smiled, his gaze still fixed on the other boy when the apology came in the company of half a cookie.
[break][break]
At this, Vic shrugged. ”It’s okay. I bet all that stuff is really frustrating… You don’t have to apologize for feeling the way you do or for talking about it. It’s fine.” He meant it too. He didn’t want Alex to think it was not okay to talk about his feelings or like he was being judged for it, since Vic himself knew all too well how much it sucked to feel things like those.
[break][break]
“I’m taking the cookie though!” And so he did; grabbing the delicious offering with a grin and biting it.

[break][break]

+ Alexei Ivanov

[attr="class","credit"]milky

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played by

Ven

Alex / Lexy

he / him / his

thirty

december 22

Mistralton, Unova

homosexual demiromantic

fortree gym leader

gym leader

just to make you happy

1423 height

חקל דמא

awards

5,054 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @alexei

Alexei Ivanov

POSTED ON Jul 5, 2021 4:10:22 GMT

Victor Wexler likes this

“Wha—hey! My hair!” he yelped, stuffing his half of the cookie in his mouth and ducking down; an attempt to swat away the hands that had messed up his hair. He liked it sitting on top just so, thank you very much—

“Of all the Pokémon it had to be a—well actually, y-you may have a point. B-b-better than a Vullaby, at least!” he said with a laugh. “I d-d-don’t have black streaks!”

“And—and here I was, us, here in school—being the w-w-weird ones for not starting our journey at… the age of ten. H-how different would it be if you’d started y-y-your journey at ten instead of after…high school?”

He’d seen a lot of kids younger than himself coming and going through the sleepy little city, way too eager to get into a Pokémon battle or two. Or several. Either way…

“Th-th-thanks… for not laughing at me.”

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played by

Azul

Vic

He/Him

June 21st

Mistralton City, Unova

Pansexual

Fortree Ranger Captain

Elite Ranger

158 height

The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.

awards

377 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @vic