[attr="class","beck"]"whatever you, choi, and walsh need me to do, but..."

the pause he gives is contemplative, though not abrupt. he eases into it, pondering as he looks away at nothing in particular. a LEAF PILE, perhaps.

"...i'm not sure what i want."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

"Well, of course."

He doesn't expect anything less than absolute loyalty from THEO BECKETT because Beckett's the reason Gavin operates the way he does. Whatever it takes to survive, no matter the cost.

"But I'm asking what you want."

Rocket didn't do enough of that, he feels; their agents should go where they're most comfortable, most useful.

Apparently, though, Theo isn't sure.

"Think on it, then. I'll do what I can."

He crushes a spent cigarette beneath the heel of his boot and pockets the butt so as not to pollute the beauty of Rocket's new marvel.

[attr="class","beck"]"cillian."

a thought overcomes him then, and it's one he's unable to keep to himself. perhaps it's curiosity. or perhaps it's something else entirely.

he sighs.

"what if i told you i wanted to leave?"

in the background, a ground-type scurries across the field.

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

A sharp intake of breath; it's not a question he'd been expecting.

He halts a rhythmic stride through Rocket's newfound natural domain and turns to regard THEO BECKETT with a leveling gaze. Even for one who knew him better than most, it would be difficult to parse the turmoil within.

His jaw shifts.

"I would ask you if you're certain," he says, slow, "And I would do what I could."

His eyes scan the shadows as if expecting them to shift.

[attr="class","beck"]it means more to him than he could express. for now, it shows in the way his head dips, and in the way his lips curl into the faintest of smiles.

"thank you."

his gaze shifts to cillian, ignoring the shadows around them.

"i don't, for the record. there's too much i care about here."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

Relief floods him, makes his limbs feel weak, but he expresses it only in a return of the nod.

"You'd have done the same, for me."

It's not a question; he knows. He's known for a long time, implications whispered in Kanto where things had always felt so unsafe, so tenuous. They're more stable, now, he thinks, but there is still weight behind Gavin's willingness to stand up for those he cares for.

Perhaps, in another universe, they would've escaped. Been happy, together.

He swallows the thought.

"I'm glad."

---

1/4 prompts - multiverse :sadge:

[attr="class","beck"]"i would."

without a doubt, he would. he had done the same once, hadn't he? almost, anyway, as he remembers presenting cillian with the choice to leave.

overhead, an unfezant caws, though he pays it no mind.

"i'm...sorry, for not being around more."

he forces the words out.

"for not being here for you, i mean."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

It hurts, still, even as he wills it not to.

There's a slight hitch to his breath, the only thing to betray him as he pulls it together. He's out of practice since Kanto, where he'd kept every emotion buried as deep as he could.

"If you mean since Kanto, that was Silas, not you."

A pause.

"If you mean lately... I think it wouldn't have helped."

Like shards of glass in his chest, in his throat when he swallows.

"Either way I'm, ah, glad you're here now."

[attr="class","beck"]"i'm glad as well."

buried emotions surface this time for he has no reasons to hide them. hurt, guilt, but also happiness show in the way he looks at cillian.

there's even remnants of a smile.

"i met Tempest Quinn recently. he seems nice. kind."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

It's strange to see emotions in someone who would normally hide them but Gavin's spent enough time paying attention to the subtle nuances of THEO BECKETT's expression to recognize shifts away from the norm.

He thinks he sees something like pain, feels his own chest tighten in response.

But there's happiness, too, mirrored by a flutter of his stomach when Tempest Quinn is mentioned. Gavin ducks his head with a soft laugh.

"He's—"

A lot of things, none of which Gavin can properly articulate. His brow furrows.

Gavin's eyes burn and he focuses on a flock of Unfezant pecking among autumn leaves. His emotions are still so tangled, too raw to be reliably parsed. Hurt and regret and loss mingled with the warmer, gentle notes of love and healing.

"He's good to me," he decides. "I care a lot about him."

I love him, too.

But this he leaves unsaid, for it feels cruel to spell it out with sound.

---

2/4 unfezant

[attr="class","beck"]it doesn't need to be said, and a part of him is grateful that cillian decides to leave it at that.

"that's good."

he means it.

"he cares a lot about you, too, but i'm sure you don't need me to tell you as much."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

"Naw, he's told me himself, the big sap."

Though it wavers with his emotion, Gavin's smile is unbearably fond.

But this topic of conversation is tight in his chest, so he asks THEO BECKETT,

"Has Choi told you about MAGMA?"

They'll be making waves very soon.

[attr="class","beck"]there's a flicker of envy that sparks — not particularly at what cillian and Tempest Quinn have, but at the fact that they're able to so easily express their feelings, their love. if only he could do the same.

the change in topic is welcome.

he nods.

"i've been helping him recruit for it. it's been more difficult than i thought it'd be."

because in the past, they didn't need to recruit, they'd just force people in. clearly, things have changed.

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn