“Huh,” he remarked as the other side went—quiet.

Okay, what the fuck was going on.

The good thing was that the cigarette had already been extinguished, and he didn’t need to light another one.

“Red, what the hell are you—” he called out, wondering why the other one wasn’t answering. Maybe he’d gotten the hang of talking with the snarky one in his head?

However, he could hear the snarky voice calling his attention—

‘Good grief, are normal humans like this?’

“What do you mean?”

‘I think you better come around and see.’

“What the hell did you do—” he asked, before pinching the bridge of his nose and rounding the corner again—

“You… YOU FROZE HIM?!”

‘What? No! I didn’t use that ace move we have!’

“Then what the hell is this?!” he exclaimed, walking forward and then gesturing to the statue-ified redhead.

‘I just blew a cold wind!’

“You know your wind doesn’t affect me at all, but it still affects other people!” Lars exclaimed again, before pinching the bridge of his nose.

‘I didn’t realize!’

“She’s going to kill me!” he continued, realizing that the other was already engaged, and then—

“Sono così fottuto!”* he hissed in Alto Marean, before quickly rubbing his hands together and attempting to pull off the layer of frost that had congealed around the redhead, concentrating with all his might.

‘What are you doing?’

“Trying to defrost him, idiota!” he exclaimed again, willing the frost to separate from the other.

“You might’ve given him acute frostbite or something!”

---

* I am so fucking screwed!

“Te ne rendi conto—”¹ would be the first words the redhead would hear, followed by very passionate hand gestures.

Well, hand gesture seeing as only one hand was doing the infamous ‘what the fuck’ gesture equivalent in Alto Marean at the iceborne deity who had since decided to perch somewhere to rest their wings.

‘What?’

“Che se è morto, ci sono io?!”² he continued, not minding that he’d slipped into his second (first?) language and was now basically ranting, very colorful cuss words peppering each and every exclamation he was flinging at the iceborne mirage.

“Non vai in giro a congelare le persone!”³

‘I didn’t mean to, I just flapped my wings, what do you not understand—’

“A caso!”⁴ he punctuated, his right hand flailing around in that infamous gesture, left hand still concentrating as the build-up of frost was now congealing on that other arm that was on the redhead’s shoulder.

‘Why are you so worked up over this?’

“Perché hai quasi commesso un omicidio, cazzo!”⁵ he growled, rolling his eyes at the mirage.

‘And your point is—?’

“Non capisci?”⁶

‘What?’

“Se non torna vivo lei avrà la mia fottuta testa!”⁷ he almost yelled, stopping the frantic, exaggerated gesturing to pinch the bridge of his nose.

‘You might want to—’

“Che cosa?”⁸

‘Look.’

He then turned to look at the redhead, hoping that the insane shit he’d been trying to do, siphoning away the coldness from the other—was it working?

---

¹ — You realize that
² — That if he’s dead, I’m in for it?!
³ — You just don’t go around freezing people!
⁴ — at random!
⁵ — Because you almost fucking committed murder!
⁶ — Don’t you get it?
⁷ — If he doesn’t return alive she’s going to have my fucking head!
⁸ — What?

In all of that ranting, it had taken Lars a few seconds to look towards the iceborne mirage, before said mirage pointed with a wing, and indeed, look he did—

Only for another louder scream to shake the cavern. Even the icicles up on the ceiling fucking shook because of the loud noise.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” he screamed, switching back to understandable Common.

‘He kind of cheated.’

“I FIGURED!” he continued, pinching the bridge of his nose again.

“Sénon, where the fuck are you?!” he shouted as he took his left arm off the—well, the Ditto-faced ‘human’ that he’d been defrosting.

‘I know that already constitutes as cheating, however I have no idea where he ran off to.’

“Why don’t you—?!”

‘I don’t know where he’s hidden himself. Little weasel.’

“The hell did you learn that from?”

‘Who else, but you?!’

“Tch, fine,” he grumbled as he kicked away the last of the ice and realized that he was now with… a fucking Ditto. Or what he guessed was one.

The way the steam was rising up made Lars look around—what was happening?!

“Get out of there—now!” he shouted as he realized what the hell was going on.

The iceborne mirage didn’t need telling twice as bursts of flame suddenly shuddered throughout the entire cavern, causing the long-frozen icicles to melt and subsequently fall from the ceiling, crashing down to the floor as the temperature rose dramatically within the enclosed space.

And if there was something Lars absolutely fucking hated, it was the fucking heat. Even more so if it was in extremely close proximity with him!

‘Move!’

‘What, and leave you behind? Are you crazy?!’

‘No, but you’re going to get toasted if you don’t, and forgive the Kalosian, fucking MOVE!’

Okay, the deity was pissed, it was time to bail—but then again, there was a chance—

Before he’d made a mad dash out of the cavern that was now positively steaming, he then punched his fist at seemingly nothing—

However, that was the sign for the iceborne mirage to finally, finally drop their ‘ace in the hole’.

(Because fucking hell, flames should stay as far away from them both as possible).

The Articuno beat their wings once, twice, then several times—and in countering the flames, the temperature within the room suddenly dropped as fast and as far as it would before a sudden chill would take hold;

The End of the World: Articuno blows sheer cold over a wide radius and eliminates debris like entry hazards. any caught in its path are slowed, with the chance to freeze.

Hopefully stopping the flames from destroying the only home the deity had within this hellish, hot region.