”...Hm.”[break][break]

Just as he’d done prior, he simply allowed an absentminded gaze to linger upon her as she continued moving across the shoreline. Bicolored hues shifted towards the most recent piece of debris she’d claimed as her own before drifting along the grains once more in thought.[break][break]

”...The pieces, then,” he went on, furrowing his brows. ”As evident from what you said earlier, you're not happy with how they've aligned themselves? Why?”[break][break]

She never did actually answer the question when he'd asked it the first time, after all.

MARISOL SIMONE [break]
mission: life's a beach

☉

he's so hard-pressed for answers. she wonders why that is. [break][break]

now her eyes fall to the ground, and her arm has paused from he jabbing. the cans still crumble under the plate somewhere along the spike, as her mind blankly processes his question. he asked again, and she doesn't like that he repeated it (when she's being vague, she just doesn't want to get into it. clearly, he's still stubborn). [break][break]

the only benefit he has is that he knew her before her disappearing act. [break][break]

"it's because i had to crack" the words leave her lips, albeit slightly hesitantly. there's a very slight furrow of her brows as her chest raises, and a sigh follows shortly afterwards. "wendy is still.. one and the same, with i." it's not like before, when there was such a large disparity.[break][break]

she doesn't like to talk about it, but she will, so it's easier to explain. [break][break]

".. you remember how disturbed i would be at the sight of an open injury, or blood, or.. any innards flesh?" she doesn't know how else to describe it. [break][break]

it wasn't anything violent, or off the rails, or unhinged; it was the uncharacteristic silence, and calmness, that sends a shiver up her spine still thinking about it.

Asahiko Hakuryuu

☉

There had been logic within what she’d said.[break]
He’d experience a semblance of it in the past, after all.[break][break]

To be broken and rebuilt had been a telltale sign of improvement and strengthening, as far as he had been concerned. It had been a tried and true cycle that he’d experienced no few times through trial after trial, and to some degree, similar circumstances had been what had brought him to the region, and—by extension—allowed the conversation at hand to happen, to begin with.[break][break]

He hummed lowly, keeping his eyes upon her as a thoughtful glare took his gaze.[break][break]

”...I do, yes,” he mused after some reflection and recollection. ”Why?”

MARISOL SIMONE [break]
mission: life's a beach

☉

"it was the result of being raised by a serial killer." she knows he knows, and maybe this is already unspoken knowledge; she knows he's worked for her father in the past, for hits, but maybe he doesn't know what he does with the body parts. he didn't have to know; he was only doing his job. wendy knew, though. [break][break]

"there was a divide while i was growing up." she huffs, and lets out another sigh. that's starting to become a habit of hers. "i grew up to enjoy violence, even take after my father." she hasn't forgotten when the man has shown her; how could she? [break][break]

".. i didn't want it." her gaze is fixated on the ground, now, and she can't find the energy to raise her head. gravity seems to be weighing heavy on her. "but it's been so etched into me, and it haunts me, still. reasoning to myself that it wasn't my fault while i knew i inherited that perverse desire for knowledge" like he did "was disgusting. that's why i'm not happy." [break][break]

another jab into the ground, picking up paper this time while she's avoiding a gaze. [break][break]

"i'm not happy that i've accepted it." but rejecting it will never help her move on.

Asahiko Hakuryuu

☉

Had he not known the sort of dealings her father had engaged within in the past, he may have found himself at a loss for words.[break][break]

Yet the silence that succeeded the thoughts she’d voiced aloud had been caused not by fear, nor discomfort, nor even a sense of negative notion; rather, it had been caused by none other than his own turn of thought. Before long, his gaze had drifted from her in favor of idly eying the varied grains of sand beneath the both of them once more.[break][break]

He gave another hum, listening.[break][break]

”...You sound so distraught over it,” had been his eventual choice of words. His eyes narrowed as they lingered upon the earth; a seemingly absentminded effect of the pensiveness that continuously held him. ”I understand not necessarily liking how things have turned out, but my honest opinion is that being distraught is a sign of improvement.”[break][break]

His gaze finally lifted to find her once more. Watching. Observing.[break][break]

”...It’s natural to be unhappy with yourself so long as you aim to better yourself, and so long as you show proof of betterment. It’s also natural to dislike having similar qualities to the people that mishapenly shaped you— but it’s fine so long as you define those qualities for yourself, rather than allowing the past to keep a vice on you.”

MARISOL SIMONE [break]
mission: life's a beach

☉

distraught?[break][break]

"hah. perhaps i am." her lips curl up into a smile of crude amusement, the venom drips from her lips, and it borders self-pity and disgust. another jab into the ground as the paper crumples beneath, followed by the sound of crushed can as it presses against the cap of the metal bar. the needle is sharp, despite the countless times it's stabbed - kind of reminds her of someone. [break][break]

"that's why accepting it was necessary." she sighs, now opting to keep the spike in the dirt as her fingers rest against the handle. "and i believe trying to move on from my past is something i've started." she hums now, wearing a small smile beneath the shade of ashen blue bangs. "earlier," she starts, taking a deep breath, with her chest raising, then lowering as she pushes out a small sigh "you asked me where the disdain and anger are coming from?" [break][break]

then she spins around, slightly, to lean a bit of her weight onto the spike planted into the ground. the smiles dropped, slightly, as she tilts her head. the bangs drape further over the eyepatch that hides the odd colour eye. if she had to pin a source for all her grievances, and her distaste, and her anger and her pain: "it stems from frustration at myself." [break][break]

marisol knows, doesn't she? she knows it's self inflicted, to some degree, and it's the frustration that comes with her mind never listening to her heart, or her heart feeling a way different from her mind. "you understand this feeling, don't you?" she raises her voice, now. "being put in a position where you're desperately searching for answers, unable to get any for your own closure, then suffer in your mind as the emotions fester and cloud your logic or better judgement?" who doesn't understand this feeling? [break][break]

"it's the present that torments me," though the past was no better "the present is frustrating me."

Asahiko Hakuryuu

☉

Though he’d listened in nothing more than a simple, idling silence within the midst of her words, there had been a subtle—ever so subtle—shift and furrow within his brow upon noting her latter words. No words had been her response at first, though a soft, acknowledging hum had filled the void, instead, as he gave the faintest nod to further convey as such.[break][break]

”Unfortunately very well, yes,” he murmured before long. ”Though personally, I’d like to think I’m thankfully able to overcome that better than most.”[break][break]

He inhaled deeply, breathing a sigh and shaking his head.[break][break]

”...Because the present proves to be tortuous more times than not, as you said.” He watched idly as she continued to scour the land. ”If the past is unable to be traversed, and the present is a struggle, then the future is the only thing to look forward to.”[break][break]

He reached over towards his own pick once more, finally lifting himself back onto his feet.[break][break]

”...It’s self inflicted, like you said. Once you learn to minimize your own torment, it’ll get easier. May make you more detached in some aspects, but it’ll be easier.”

MARISOL SIMONE [break]
mission: life's a beach

☉