This was terrible. Really, he hadn't seen it coming this time. He was certain this time would work out. Even though Lam had said otherwise, he had been confident. However, it turned out that his boyfriend was, indeed, correct. He really should have known better than to question such wise judgment, but he'd been curious (to say the least). It hadn't ended how he'd hoped. It was strange though, having someone he could call now rather than sitting in the cell waiting for them to let him off with a "first time" offense. Sadly, he'd long since run out of individualized ID's thus this was most certainly no longer the first time offense.
[break][break]
It was late and he could hear it in his boyfriend's voice. Rook had learned the hard way the price for waking Lam up and, until then, he'd managed to avoid doing this. "Heyyy, so... I can explain. You know how you told me not to target that gallery... well you were right..." It was mid-sentence before he processed the dial tone response through the blur of his own explanation. Surely, Lam didn't hang up on him. Maybe reception was bad? He hoped, at least. However, that meant he was stuck in this place.
[break][break]
Rosie kept breaking free of her pokeball (piled among the others far away from Rook's touch) and eventually they just let her join him in the cell. She sat their in stilted silence, shunning him with the persecution of his choices. "We've been through worse." He wasn't sure if he was reassuring Rosie more, or himself.
[break][break]
Attempting to talk the officer's ear off also didn't work, as the person on duty was an elderly fellow who was practically waiting for the opportunity to talk about his grandkids and, even in Rook's opinion, the man could talk. By the time the sheriff had strolled back to his cell, Rook knew all three of their names and birthdays and favorite colors and so much more than he needed to know.
[break][break]
Lam, his savior. The light of his life. The twinkle in his eye. The warmth in his — Lam looked really mad. "I—"
[break][break]
“Don’t even say a word.” Uh oh. Rosie didn't even look up at him before waddling after Lam. Rook juggled the other three pokeballs before putting them back in his knap bag. "Bye, Craig, good luck with Rachel's birthday." He called back to the old man before following doggedly after his boyfriend. There was a palpable weight of silence as he piled into the passenger seat. Rosie opted for the trunk as per her odd usual self.
[break][break]
"So, really, I can explain..." He laughed nervously.
[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] lam logan [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon mimikyu"]

He huffed, looking down at Rosie when she caught up to him. He gave her a look as if to say were you in on this too? but he wasn’t really upset with her. At all. It would be stupid to fault a pokemon being loyal. Rook, on the other hand, he could find plenty of fault with. It was like what he’d said earlier that day hadn’t even mattered. He was gonna do what he wanted when he wanted, no matter the warning Lam gave. He’d told him that particular gallery wasn’t good to hit up. It was well secured, and Lam knew that because he’d been there.[break][break]

Lam, having grown used to Rosie’s antics, wasn’t fazed by her want to crawl in the trunk. He opened it up for her and then shut it once she was nice and settled. Noodles, dethroned from the passenger side, sulked for a moment in the backseat before curling up and going to sleep himself. Lucky cat.[break][break]

Slipping into the driver’s side, Lam didn’t look over at Rook. At first, he just sat there for a moment, staring at the steering wheel, before he jerked into agitated motion. Yanked his seat belt and stabbed the key into the ignition and started up the engine. It was only when Rook piped up that he twisted sideways to look at his boyfriend. “What did I just say, Ikarus?” he hissed, and then turned back to face forward.[break][break]

His hand slipped down to throw the control into drive, and then paused with a sudden thought, He held that same hand back up with his pointer finger extended, still looking away from Rook. “Do not frickin’ answer that, it was a rhetorical question.” Because he was certain that Rook would take any window to talk even if it was a narrow one.[break][break]

Navigating the car out of the lot, Lam retraced the route he’d taken to get there. His eyes felt sore and heavy, and he reached up to rub at one, with a hand still on the wheel. He’d wanted quiet, to keep him from fully bubbling over, but the tense silence didn’t really help all that much either.

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] Ikarus Rook [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon shinx shiny"]

It was beginning to dawn on him then that maybe, just maybe... he'd really messed up this time. He wasn't stupid, ok maybe he kinda was, but he wasn't obliviously so. He knew that being caught in this predicament was embarrassing. If not reaffirming all of the problems he had with himself that he'd selfishly been unwilling to change. Lam was a new factor in his life and he was surprised to find things weren't as easy to get away with or shrug off.
[break][break]
That was the thing about having someone else in your life that was as, if not more, important as himself. He hadn't felt the brunt of the embarrassment until Lam silenced him. The heavy sprinkling of shame on top made him feel like a puppy that had just pissed the carpet. He glanced over at Lam, feeling a little smaller. It wasn't that big of deal though was it? Sure, he felt embarrassed and stupid for having to call him out, but he could make it up to him.
[break][break]
Rook opened his mouth to respond: Don't say a word? but he was cut off for said response. Rhetorical, of course.
[break][break]
Time stretched on as the car ambled down the street. Eventually, the police station was out of sight, a vacant blip in the rearview mirror. Now, Rook didn't know how to deal with silence. Clearly, he didn't. As his greatest skill lay in talking, often too much and to his own detriment. It had done a lot to piss off the people around him. Silence felt lonely and stagnant. It felt like nervous, unsettled energy that he could only fix by opening his mouth and speaking. It was rarely ever the right thing, but it quelled the pit of anxiety that balled up in place of the noise.
[break][break]
Truthfully, he wasn't sure how long he managed to go. It felt like an Olympic feat, the extent of which he did not talk right then (or, better yet, put his foot in his mouth, as he was more prone to doing). It felt like, maybe if he could talk then maybe he could cut the tension and everything would be alright. It hadn't worked with his parents, but maybe.... 
[break][break]
"I'm sorry you had to come out here, but really it's not that big of a deal." That didn't feel like what he wanted to say.
[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] lam logan [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon mimikyu"]

He was just starting to think that he could maybe calm down and get through the drive to have a reasonable conversation when they got back home. He was just starting to think that. Some of the tightness in his hold on the wheel had begun to slacken, and then Rook opened his mouth.[break][break]

“Not that big a–Rook, I swear to god if you don’t shut up, I’m going to have Noodle use wild charge on you.” He wouldn’t actually do that, and didn’t legitimately want to see Rook in pain. But a tiny little taze sounded satisfying right then. he couldn’t do this and drive. That frustration pent up in his chest made it difficult to focus on the road. So rather than carry on, he veered into the parking lot of a fast food joint just past the Mauville limits.[break][break]

He didn’t pull up to the order box for a little late night snack, though. Instead, he pulled into a darkened parking spot (it was a bit jolting, honestly. A hard jerk of the wheel to the right.) Annoyance carved through each of his movements as he did so, then slammed the gear in park. “What makes you think this isn’t a big deal, Rook?” he finally snapped, hands still curled tight around the wheel. White knuckled. “I told you not to try breaking into that gallery. So why the hell am I bailing you out now? You realize I don’t have a lot of cash, right? Did the shitty apartment I live in not give it away? Oh, I just chose to live there–just cause! It’s so cute and playful for me.”[break][break]

Until that point, he’d still been stubbornly looking out the front windshield, but he turned inward then, baleful stare leveling on his partner. “I didn’t just come out here. I had to come and pay for you to get out. It’s two in the morning, I have to be at work at a job that also frustrates me at nine, and I’m on the Mauville-Slateport freeway after being woken up in a panic thinking something bad happened because someone couldn’t be bothered to listen to me!”[break][break]

His pitch had risen to a mildly shrill note, but that didn’t register in his agitation. “And in case you didn’t put it together, that someone is you. So you don’t get to tell me this isn’t a big deal.” He let out a scoff that mixed with the heavy breath of a sigh. Muttered an annoyed “Honestly,” as he rolled his eyes and shook his head and moved to shift back into park.

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] Ikarus Rook [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon shinx shiny"]

Lam had never really gotten this mad at him before. Sure, he'd made the mistake of waking him up before and facedLam's wrath yet even then it'd felt like muted, sleepy irritation that was relatively harmless in the long run. Rook had learned his lesson and he'd solved it by snuggling closer and getting him his favorite breakfast food in the morning. Truthfully, Rook felt a little confused and trying to figure a way out of this situation was only managing to dig him deeper into that hole.
[break][break]
Maybe it was selfish of him to expect Lam to accept him for the screw up he was. Maybe this was the only logical end and he was spiraling towards it out of control. It might be simpler to put on the brakes and figure it out, but that wasn't exactly Rook's specialty. What makes you think this isn’t a big deal, rook?
[break][break]
"Well I—" His mouth snapped shut once more as Lam made it more than apparent that it was not an actual invitation to answer his question. Followed by an onslaught of questions that he also didn't want answered. Maybe Lam thought him too stupid to figure it out, but also maybe he was too stupid. Obviously, he hadn't pieced it all together until then. Instead, he focused on the hem of his shirt, toying with the loose threading between his fingers.
[break][break]
Even then a little sliver of irritation slipped out, "I'm not stupid, you don't need to talk to me like I'm a child. I get it, I just won't call you next time then. Sorry, I woke you up from your beauty rest. I know how important it is for you to go to your big important job where you work so hard and yet they still ignore your art. Hate to pry you away from those accomplishments." It felt like the truth to him, but he could have at least sugar-coated it, or just not said it at all.
[break][break]
Considering Lam had just drove out there and picked him up, he really shouldn't have been talking at all. Maybe he could bear the quiet, with a bit of practice. Even if the stilted silence reminded him of being a child. Even if being talked to like a child reminded him of days he just wanted someone to listen and no one did. It wasn't right to throw that at the only person who did, right? But he wasn't thinking like that.

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] lam logan [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon mimikyu"]

At least Rook didn’t attempt to cut him off while he was going on. In all actuality, Lam didn’t enjoy being angry and his fuse was long enough that losing his temper wasn’t a common occurrence. Sure, it was worsened when he was woken up from sleep, but even then, he came around easily enough. Grumbly or not.[break][break]

This was different, though. This had to with someone Lam cared about. Maybe cared the most. Maybe loved, even. So maybe he wasn’t handling this as gracefully as he could’ve. But then, he wasn’t sure how anyone might handle this easily without growing at least a little angry when Rook tried to brush the seriousness of it off.[break][break]

What he’d hoped for was that the outburst would be enough to subdue his boyfriend. That maybe the fact that it was an uncommon thing would make it significant enough that he paused before saying something else. Of course that wasn’t the way of it, though. Of course.[break][break]

“That’s not the point, Ikarus. It’s not that I don’t want you to call me-” His words halted, though, and he looked over at Rook with narrowed eyes. The flicker of a wince crossing his features. “At least I’m trying. But thanks for shoving that in my face.” It stung, hearing it out loud, and really it wasn’t even as if Lam didn’t feel as if what Rook said was particularly untrue. Having it thrown at him was another thing, though, and suddenly Lam didn’t really want to argue anymore. He wanted to go back to his quiet anger, but it was frustrating that Rook didn’t seem to get it.[break][break]

Lam huffed out an annoyed breath and put the gear in park again. It was suddenly too much to be contained in that small space. “Do you know what it feels like? To get a call from an unknown number like that in the middle of the night? Don’t figure you care, though, because it hasn’t stopped you from doing what you want.” His words were flat–lacking the bite from his prior ranting. Without saying another word, he rolled his eyes and popped the door handle to climb out of the car.[break][break]

His hands fumbled in his jacket pockets for the carton of cigarettes stowed there, fingers shaky with nerves and irritation as he tried to pull one free and light it with his zippo. The cigarette dangled between his knuckles as he rubbed at his forehead with the back of the same hand and perched on the hood the car. Careful to not meet Rook’s eyes through the windshield as he faced away from him.

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] Ikarus Rook [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon shinx shiny"]

For all of his sense of drama, Rook couldn't maintain an argument for very long before the negative feelings long outstayed their welcome and he was left feeling anxious and desperate for things to go back to normal. This was even more apparent with Lam. Their relationship had probably always been a bit odd, considering their chosen occupations seemed systematically opposed to one another. However, in the time they'd been together, Rook had come to depend upon it. Lam made him happy and he didn't honestly know how to go back to pre-Lam era.
[break][break]
Yet if his plan was to end the argument as soon as possible, he wasn't doing a good job. This would probably surprise no one, in the end. Somehow, he'd probably made it worst and only made Lam resent him further for his inadequacies and his occupation (if it could even be called that).
[break][break]
Everything he said sounded wrong and he wanted to swallow it back up. He wanted to tell him that there was nothing wrong with his art, only that the gallery was too stupid to acknowledge the talent that Rook could see. Only he didn't. Instead words jumbled out in a mess. His only clarification just: "That's not what I meant..." As if that clarified everything and lessened the potential ache.
[break][break]
"No..." He said with a shrug. No one called him. "That's not true — I do care, Lam." Maybe he was odd about expressing it, but that didn't mean he didn't care. It did occur to him that it would be a fright to have Lam not come to bed at night and someone else call in his place. Lam got up then and vacated the vehicle. "Lam?" Rook frowned, slowly and awkwardly following. "What are you doing? I thought you wanted to go home."
[break][break]
He looked back into the car with a whine. "Come on, let's go." He sighed, before following diligently. "What do you want me to say? I'm sorry? I didn't mean to... I thought it'd go better. You want me to tell you I'm a fuck up and you deserve better? Well okay then. I'm a fuck up and you deserve better."




[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] lam logan [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon mimikyu"]

“Doesn’t feel like it right now.” Stubbornly, he clung to his frustration because it just hadn’t seemed to click in Rook’s mind. Or if it had, it hadn’t come out that way. Though it wasn’t like he relished feeling angry with Rook, either. He just wanted him to understand.[break][break]

Lam didn’t respond when asked what he was doing. He only continued to go about the process of lighting his cigarette, faced away from Rook. Annoyingly, there was a slight shake in his fingers as he lifted his cigarette to take a long drag from it, though he supposed that was why he needed it. As he exhaled, a silvery plume of smoke dissipated into the dark. He did want to go home, but he didn’t want to get back in the car and start driving if he was gonna lose his temper again.[break][break]

Of course Rook followed, though. He glanced sideways toward him as his partner began to speak again, continuing to smoke his way through the cig. A muffled scoff followed. “No, Rook. I don’t want you to tell me that, because that’s not what I think.” Deserved better? What kinda idea was that? It made it sound like Lam wasn’t capable of making a sound judgment, which he disagreed with.[break][break]

He didn’t regret the choice to be with Rook. Just– “It doesn’t matter if you meant to or not, or if you thought it’d go better. You shouldn’t have gone at all.” Lam raked a free hand through his hair. “Wish you’d take me seriously.”[break][break]

Careful not to look at him, he shook his head and watched the cigarette smolder where it was nestled between his knuckles. He liked to think that he’d been lenient about Rook’s career choices. But he hadn’t been nonchalant when he’d given his warning about this particular heist. “Kinda felt like you just stomped all over what I had to say. And you could’ve gotten hurt.” His voice felt too stupidly small just then. "I don't want that." At the crux of it - this had made him angry, yeah, but it had also frightened him.

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] Ikarus Rook [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon shinx shiny"]

Little by little, Rook could feel the guilt overwhelm his stubbornness. The more time the stretched out, the less he believed himself in the right. It wasn't a difficult adjustment, considering he was rarely ever right and seeing the other in this state was like death by a thousand paper cuts. "Lam... I..." He sighed then, heading rolling back against the head rest and eyes squeezing shut until light pricked at his eyelids.
[break][break]
It hadn't been an attempt to cry for pity or anything, he genuinely wondered if he was actually good for Lam. He was a scoundrel and a liar and a thief, not exactly good boyfriend material. However, in the end, it was Lam's decision who he chose to be with and Rook had no right to challenge that. Lam was an adult and he made his own choices, but Rook was still scared of the day that Lam said: I was wrong about you.
[break][break]
With another sigh, he opened his eyes and pushed open the passenger door. It was clear that they were not going to head home right that second and that wasn't exactly his choice because Lam chose to pick him up despite everything. He held on to the open door for a moment, maybe a security object before finally closing the door behind him. He felt like a scolded puppy as he approached the hood of the car. "I do take you seriously... I was just... I was stupid." For a moment, he wondered if he should wait for permission, but eventually sidled up awkwardly beside him, slipping a little because he didn't know how to do anything without messing up.
[break][break]
"I'm sorry, okay? Really, I am. What can I do to make it up to you?" He looked at Lam, trying to catch his eye though the other was making an effort not to look at him. For that moment, he was afraid to touch in case that sparked the other's anger, but it felt so wrong not to reach out.
[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] lam logan [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon mimikyu"]

Lam wasn’t trying to actively guilt Rook, he really wasn’t. He was too wrapped up in his own upset and frustrations to really consider the response it might garner. The fact of the matter was that he was equally stubborn in that regard, heels dug in his belief that it should be obvious why he was angry and sort of hurt, and that it was just as plain that he was right to feel the way he did. All the same, though, he didn’t enjoy feeling like this either.[break][break]

If he just had a moment to steady himself, maybe he could pull himself back together and manage to avoid any more outbursts. So it was likely a good thing that Rook didn’t immediately follow him out of the car. Even if all Lam wanted was to gravitate back toward the other’s orbit. It felt wrong to be out of tilt like this. Unbalanced.[break][break]

How crazy was that? It wasn’t often that Lam ever felt that way about another person. And it wasn’t like he’d known Rook for years upon years–but somehow it felt as if he had. He took another long drag from his cigarette, now nearly burned down to the filter. Tilting his head back, it puffed up above him in a cloud of gray. He heard the passenger door open and shut, and then the crunch of gravel at Rook’s cautious approach. “You think?” he mumbled back dryly, still stuck in his annoyance. But when Rook scooted up alongside him, Lam felt himself sag into that presence. Just a bit.[break][break]

Fingers pinching the spent cig, Lam finally let his glance be caught. He looked back at Rook tiredly, head shaking slightly. “I don’t want you to do anything, except maybe listen to me next time. You say you take me seriously, but it’s kind of hard to believe if you don’t really back that up.” Flicking the butt to the ground by his shoe, Lam slid closer until their legs pressed together. Leaning in, his forehead rested against the curve of his shoulder. “You know, I love you, Ikarus. But you have no common sense sometimes.” Spoken in lingering annoyance, he could feel his eyes roll, and the words were still grumbly, but it took a beat for Lam to actually process what he’d said.


[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] Ikarus Rook [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon shinx shiny"]

“I know.” Rook said, with a despondent little sigh as he pulled himself up onto the hood of the car. Rook was used to getting away with the things he did, mostly without consequence. He was both the luckiest and unluckiest person he knew for sure. “I know I’m stupid.”
[break][break]
He could feel Lam draw a little closer, the tiniest amount. It was just enough to make the ache in him grow all the more needy for that close contact. Touch between them was such a constant thing that he’d found himself craving it every second of the day. Yet, he could also see how he’d grown a little content with it. He’d been dumbly under the impression that it was his to have without change, but it could change.
[break][break]
“Okay, I promise, I’ll listen. I’ll do better.” Lam deserved that, didn’t he? Someone better than him? Rook had been selfish to think himself entitled to someone like Lam without attempting to improve himself in the process. He could feel the stifled breath finally leave his body, along with all the tension he’d been holding in, as Lam pressed against him.
[break][break]
I love you, Ikarus. Right then, he felt entirely unprepared for those words. Rook felt himself freeze, eyes widening as he turned to look at him. “Love….?” He felt himself choke on the word. No one had ever told him that before. “You mean that? You really love me?” Right then, he wanted to kiss him, but he wasn't sure. Was Lam still mad at him?


[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] lam logan [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon mimikyu"]

The ache that came with their lack of touch resounded in Lam just as acutely. Even if he’d been the one to pull back and refuse it, it still hollowed him out to not feel the weight of a hand or the press of a leg or head against his. It had become second nature to be constantly in contact to some degree, and he’d known that to remove it would probably speak the volumes he wanted to convey in his upset.[break][break]

But god did it feel nice when he finally scooted closer and that space diminished again. Rightness. Not looking up from where he’d nestled himself, Lam held out a hand in front of them. Curled into a fist save for his pinky. “Okay, if you promise,” he huffed, Childish, but he didn’t care.[break][break]

He felt Rook go tense, and it finally clicked that he’d said it. Words that had been floating through his mind for a bit now, but that he’d been too nervous to actually say aloud. Words weren’t his forte, not like they were (usually) Rook’s. He’d been so focused on resuming contact while maintaining the remnants of his brattiness he hadn’t even been about to think about them, or reel them back before he got laughed at.[break][break]

Suddenly, it felt like his lungs had stopped working. Lam sat up again slowly as he felt Rook shift to look at him. His face felt like it was on fire, but the words were out, he couldn’t take them back. Or wouldn’t. Not with the way Rook was looking at him, the confused uncertainty there like maybe it was Lam who was about to laugh in his face.[break][break]

At first, he just nodded. Slow with increasing speed as his hand lifted to press against the side of Rook’s face. “Yeah, I do. I love you.” Finally, a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, followed by a breath of laughter. “Of course I mean it, dummy. It’s not a bargaining chip.” His other hand moved to join the first in holding the other’s face. He kept his gaze evenly on Rook’s, drawn by the pretty red shade, even in the dark with only a nearby lamp post for lowlight.[break][break]

“Does it make sense now? Why I was so upset?” he asked as his fingers traced paths under his eyes, fingertips tangling in messy hair. Was.
[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] Ikarus Rook [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon shinx shiny"]

“I promise.” A pinky promise was the most serious of all promises. He let his pinky squeeze the other’s to add an extra dose of promise. Maybe it was childish, but it felt so them. His finger lingered, twined around the other’s as he sat beside him, pressed close once more.
[break][break]
I love you. Those words repeated in his head, in Lam’s voice. He wanted to imprint those words in a sacred place, hold them close until they became memory-like and never left him. Maybe it was a coping mechanism that came with the fear of loss. He had this now and he couldn’t lose it. Maybe he had to change, a little. For Lam. Yeah.
[break][break]
“I love you too.” He replied. Rook had never told anyone he loved them before so the words felt foreign. It felt so honest that his mind tried to find the lie in them, tried to twist it around like something that could be bartered or traded so easily. Yet they couldn’t be. Maybe it was the most honest he’d ever been.
[break][break]
Lam smiled and it was the single most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Sure, he’d seen Lam smile before, but this time it was for him and because he loved him. Wow.
[break][break]
“Yeah, does make sense.” He added, dumbly and sheepishly. His eyes darted away, though the other man’s hands kept his face in place. “Am I allowed to kiss you now? ‘Cause this is really hard.”





[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] lam logan [break]

[attr="class","pokesprite pokemon mimikyu"]