in all my dreams, i drown [ddd]

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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howitzer

sky, finn charbonneau
he/him
34
february 18
virbank city, unova
demisexual
writer
associate
disguised smoke and mirrors tuning the inner eye, the link the infinite lies within the dreamscape
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schuyler tate
in all my dreams, i drown [ddd]
POSTED ON Oct 22, 2023 20:42:18 GMT
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content warning for notes of implied physical abuse and matricide

His mother loved the piano, and swears that the melodies his father could compose were one of a kind; every stroke of the keys a step towards her heart. Music is what made them fall in love, and music is what kept his father's memory alive. And as her dementia worsened, his mother could only beg her son to play for her. Schuyler pulls the bench out and sits at the dusty piano of his family home. (How long had it been since he'd touched it? A blow of air against the cover was answer enough -- far too long.) His fingers worked in tandem with his feet as music filled the quiet, depressing silence that had once been alive with activity. His mother looks so peaceful.

As he presses the wrong key, Schuyler rips his hands back from the piano out of sheer reflex. Blood paints ivory as he's reminded of the error of his mistakes.

How his fingers ached and bled from the punishment that came whenever he failed to complete the scales perfectly. Failure had never been an option and nothing less of perfection was acceptable.

The only sounds he hears are that of the oxygen concentrator that gives a harsh puff every few seconds. His mother lifts her head to look at him and asks: "Philip, why did you stop?"

They were the reason he stopped. Schuyler takes a deep breath as he rises from the bench. But she doesn't remember how quick they were to punish his mistakes. She doesn't even remember his name, for fuck's sake. As he approaches his mother's bed, he kneels against the fabric mattress as he sinks down. His expression is a mixture of pain as ice cold fingers wrap around her frail neck. The more pressure he applies, the more he feels things beneath them begin to pop and snap.

She's weakened by her bedridden status. That much is obvious. The way wrinkled hands slap against his arm feel more like a brush than an actual attempt to get him to stop. The way his face twisted between pain, fear, and anger reflected this was the farthest thing from a mercy kill. His breath is ragged as nostrils flare and he musters the rest of his strength to finally snap her neck.

And it's that snap that finally wakes him up from this nightmare.


prompt family
words 396
total sleep score 200

⚰︎ divider made by milky!

dream drop distance

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played by

howitzer

sky, finn charbonneau
he/him
34
february 18
virbank city, unova
demisexual
writer
associate
disguised smoke and mirrors tuning the inner eye, the link the infinite lies within the dreamscape
awards
70 posts
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TAG WITH @schuyler
schuyler tate
in all my dreams, i drown [ddd]
POSTED ON Oct 24, 2023 13:57:03 GMT
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What's the point of wealth if in the end, the person isn't fulfilled? After his mother's death, he wasn't sad, happy, angry, anything really. It just felt numb. The way the lawyer drones over inheritance to him as he sits in the admittedly uncomfortable chair feels like his own personal hell. After the pleasantries are exchanged, he heads back to his own apartment to work tirelessly once more.

He sits at his laptop as he sorts through the more questionable tabs he has pulled open. Thankfully public wifi was a failsafe to fall back on. There were so many wannabe writers piled into the small coffee shop, who's to say the morbid topic of car crashes could be traced back to Schuyler? The author takes a sip of his coffee and pulls the blank document open once more. Fingers hurriedly stroke keys as the words flow onto the word document. A collective of short stories had been suggested by his editor, so he was stuck breaking things down into vignettes rather than chapters.

'Metal crunched and buckled as the cars collided, but rather than pain, all he felt was though he'd been ejected from the car. It all happened so fast that his brain didn't even register the pain. Though as he approached the car, all he could see was his mangled body. --'

It took a few hours and a few tweaks, but as each story flowed, Schuyler saved them and delivered each one individually to his editor. But despite how he continued to complete them, he felt empty. Did he even enjoy writing like this anymore? All he could see were due dates, release parties, and more deadlines approaching. The blonde rubs his face and lets out a groan. What was the point of tailoring these stories if he had no joy from it?

As his next book is published, the numbers and sales begin to pour in. And even with the money that they see, Schuyler still feels the heaviness of a lack of fulfillment. Why have all of this if it offers him no sense of satisfaction?

prompt wealth
words 352
total sleep score 400

⚰︎ divider made by milky!

dream drop distance


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played by

howitzer

sky, finn charbonneau
he/him
34
february 18
virbank city, unova
demisexual
writer
associate
disguised smoke and mirrors tuning the inner eye, the link the infinite lies within the dreamscape
awards
70 posts
part of
TAG WITH @schuyler
schuyler tate
in all my dreams, i drown [ddd]
POSTED ON Oct 28, 2023 14:44:58 GMT
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The book he publishes tells the story of a man who persists. And in that persistence, he pays the ultimate price. He swallows hard when he realizes that perhaps he will see that story repeat itself. A mission debriefing, and soon thereafter, they're off.

It's only then he realizes that these were never meant to be birds of legend. They were birds of prey. The tale of Prometheus rings heavy as the Zapdos rips and tears into flesh of the poor bloke that dared to try and use it for their own gain. Blood and gore begin to slowly but surely paint the electrical wastelands as entrails are spat along the cracks and electrical burns along the grown. All the bird can do is continue to dig, and dig, and dig. The sound of hollowing something out fills his ears and leaves a dissonance in the air.

They said this would be a two person job. Looks like they were only coming back with one.

Schuyler feels his backside hit the ground as he frantically begins to push himself back. Is it fear he feels? No, it's merely common sense. There's no need to make the casualty of this botched mission exceed more than one dead body. Even from the distance, he can see the way his comrade's eyes glaze over, the way they look past him. Even now, as distance begins to fill the space between Schuyler, his fallen comrade, and the Zapdos who stands proud.

But he can still hear the call that the beast gives in response to the viscera it had created. As its voice booms out, he can hear the faint sound of electricity as it burns what is left of his fellow Rocket to nothing but a crisp.

"YOU ARE NOT WORTHY"

If that were the case, Schuyler himself would never be worthy.

prompt avatarship
words 316
total sleep score 600

⚰︎ divider made by milky!

dream drop distance


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played by

howitzer

sky, finn charbonneau
he/him
34
february 18
virbank city, unova
demisexual
writer
associate
disguised smoke and mirrors tuning the inner eye, the link the infinite lies within the dreamscape
awards
70 posts
part of
TAG WITH @schuyler
schuyler tate
in all my dreams, i drown [ddd]
POSTED ON Oct 29, 2023 23:33:02 GMT
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He's forced to attend the service for his fallen comrade. It's written off as a grave accident among a wild Fearrow attack. He doesn't know how or why the man's wife buys such a blatant lie, but as she sits there and sobs, words about how much she loved her husband choke out of her throat.

Love was a fairytale that was told to people who felt they couldn't do anything on their own. His mother always told him that she never really loved his father, that their marriage was just one of convenience. Schuyler was too young to really understand what that entailed. He just knew he never saw his parents doing things that normal couples did. Dinner was silent, holidays were formalities at best. (He saw the way his relatives shared such soft and intimate moments with one another and felt the display was merely a sign of weakness.) As Schuyler aged, he saw the way his father tried so desperately to rekindle the spark they once had. It was pitiful to see someone try so hard for nothing in the end.

Was it a broken home? Probably. But the emotional unavailability wasn't the only thing wrong with their home. But that was a story for another time.

It was a violent bout of pneumonia that eventually took his father. His mother remained a cold statue through all the proceedings. She was the one everything went to -- the house, the money, everything. One would think with such a substantial amount of wealth, she'd at least crack a smile given how little she cared about her husband. But Schuyler notes that as the lawyer drones on, the tighter her lips draw back. It's almost as though she's displeased with this meeting.

The funeral is where she finally breaks. Perhaps she did love his father in a way that she refused to acknowledge. But even in this memory, in this dream, Schuyler can feel the weight of this grief swallow him whole. And in that grief, it feels warm. The warmth envelops him, and for a moment he thinks that perhaps it wouldn't be too bad to drown.

prompt love
words 361
total sleep score 800

⚰︎ divider made by milky!

dream drop distance


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played by

howitzer

sky, finn charbonneau
he/him
34
february 18
virbank city, unova
demisexual
writer
associate
disguised smoke and mirrors tuning the inner eye, the link the infinite lies within the dreamscape
awards
70 posts
part of
TAG WITH @schuyler
schuyler tate
in all my dreams, i drown [ddd]
POSTED ON Oct 31, 2023 14:14:37 GMT
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The funeral for the fallen Rocket from their botched attempt to ensnare Zapdos concludes. It wasn't the first funeral he had to suffer through, and he knew it wouldn't be the last. As some of his fellow branch operatives filed out, he took the moment to laugh to himself. How did the family not realize that all of the victim's coworkers were criminals? That the victim himself was a criminal? Maybe they were just blinded by grief. He's momentarily stopped by one of the other people who attended and for a moment, he seems surprised.

"Small world, huh? I didn't know you knew Andrei."

There was nothing more uncomfortable than running into an ex. Schuyler grimaces and turns his attention back to the urn that sits at the front of the room. For a moment, he contemplates his words before he gives a reluctant answer.

"Well we were coworkers before all this happened," he faked a sympathetic smile. "You?"

"Through his wife."

It was palpable how awkward the situation felt, but Schuyler was a glutton for punishment when it came down to it. After he checks his watch, he offers the brunette before him an invite to go out for coffee. She shrugs and mentions she has the time, but even then, the tension feels strained at best. Almost like she doesn't want to go, but feels an obligation to at least catch up.

As the two sit at the table at a nearby cafe, Schuyler opts to strike up conversation first.

"I'm sorry about everything, Imogen," he insists. "It's... Well, like you said. I was emotionally checked out during our engagement."

Imogen gives a shrug before offering, "Well you had your own problems to handle with your parents. I heard about your mother's passing, and I'm sorry for your loss."

Schuyler brushes it off. That wasn't the situation that bothered him currently. But as the conversation continues, it feels like a breath of fresh air. It's cheesy to say, but he can feel himself falling again. Her voice, her smile, the twinkle in her eyes... He can't help but mirror them with genuine enthusiasm. His heart hasn't felt that light in years. The thought to try again came to mind, but before he could offer that much out, Imogen's phone rang.

He tries not to intrude too much on the call, but when he hears the word 'kids' and the way her phone call ends with a 'love you, too,' he feels his throat tighten a bit. He forces himself to give a curious smile.

"Kids?"

"Yeah, after we called off the engagement, I met a really nice guy and practically a year into dating, we got married. Not long after that, we found out we were having twins," she seems chipper as she speaks before she feels inclined to ask. "What about you? Anyone new in your life?"

He wants to be happy for her, he really does. But his body betrays him as he stands up from the table. Schuyler should have expected that she'd move on by now. She has her own life, and not everything can just be put on pause. He tries to fix the situation by insisting that he forgot he has a meeting with his publisher and has to cut this reunion short.

But it's obvious to see how his expression morphs, the way he emotionally checks out of the situation once more as he's forced to walk away.

prompt reunions
words 587
total sleep score 999

⚰︎ divider made by milky!

dream drop distance


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played by

howitzer

sky, finn charbonneau
he/him
34
february 18
virbank city, unova
demisexual
writer
associate
disguised smoke and mirrors tuning the inner eye, the link the infinite lies within the dreamscape
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70 posts
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schuyler tate
in all my dreams, i drown [ddd]
POSTED ON Nov 11, 2023 18:25:25 GMT
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At the sight of the Snubbull from the previous prompt in the game, Schuyler found himself distracted by what the creature had to say. But before the pokemon could conclude its speech, his ever faithful Pangoro had vanished from his side, as though answering the call outside of the castle. For a moment, panic seemed to settle onto the sprite in the form of a dark gloom around its pixellated body. Schuyler collected himself and shot the timer a glance. Was that the time they had to dedicate to finding their pokemon? Was it when this game would conclude? Or maybe it was just there for a simpler reason. It was best not to dally and waste the time allotted.

He took his leave from the castle at the blessing of the DREAM BALL offered to him from the head of the Sylvis court. (Was it right to call the Snubbull that? It didn't give much of a regal air other than the scepter. But hey? What did he know? RPG wasn't really his bailiwick.)

Brows furrowed on the 8-bit book-thumper's face as he made his way deeper into the forest. Where did his pokemon wander off to? As he traversed further, the sight of what looked like tears in the fabric of this realm's space time caught his attention, none too dissimilar from the ones he'd seen within the crevices of Mt Pyre. Schuyler found himself frozen for a moment, unable to move. His body felt heavy, as though the world didn't want him to move in that very moment. A Shadow Zangoose pulled its way out of the void and lunged for the blonde.

As if fate would had it, he gained control of his body once more, his outer shirt turned to ribbons from the Zangoose's FURY SWIPES.

Upon stepping back, an almost ghostly apparition took its place in front of him. The apparition in itself resembled Schuyler greatly, down to the last detail. It was safe to say that the thing was almost like a doppelganger. But as he looked in confusion, the Zangoose seemed fixated on the doppelganger rather than Schuyler himself. The shadow pokemon took the opportunity to lunge at the clone, which gave the blonde an opening to hightail it out of there. And he certainly wasn't one to waste an opportunity.

[attr="class","rbynote"]
LURE

The user creates a carbon copy afterimage of themselves that serves as a distraction to attacking enemies. However as stated, it is an afterimage, meaning that it does not move on its own accord much like a clone would. Other than the momentary distraction, it serves no other purpose.

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As he ran, he didn't even register that he went in the direction he'd entered the forest from. But perhaps it was better he did. As he spotted his Pangoro, he called to it. But the call only drew attention from his pokemon. The moment it turned to him, Schuyler could see the hatred in its eyes.

How could he let his pokemon suffer? Weren't they supposed to be partners? Wasn't Schuyler supposed to keep the Pangoro safe from suffering? As it charged its way towards its trainer, Schuyler drew the DREAM BALL back in his hand and threw it at the oncoming Pangoro. Once he managed to catch it, everything went white, and the prompts stood before him.

Schuyler bent down to pick up the DREAM BALL and looked from it, to the prompts, then back to the ball.

Purify or strengthen? Those were the options when it boiled down to it. To give it strength took away its true potential. But to purify it meant that, perhaps, his Pangoro would never have strength like this again. His arm lifted, and pressed the option that he not only wanted, but the option that both he and his Pangoro needed. And that was power.

"I'm only doing what is best for you -- best for the both of us. I hope you understand that."

[attr="class","rbynote"]
KEEP YOUR POKEMON'S STRENGTH

Warning! Doing so will keep you from reaching their true potential in lieu of brute force.

Continue?


CONTINUE.

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played by

howitzer

sky, finn charbonneau
he/him
34
february 18
virbank city, unova
demisexual
writer
associate
disguised smoke and mirrors tuning the inner eye, the link the infinite lies within the dreamscape
awards
70 posts
part of
TAG WITH @schuyler
schuyler tate
in all my dreams, i drown [ddd]
POSTED ON Nov 18, 2023 17:05:04 GMT
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It seemed the capture worked well enough. The moment the dream ball registered that it caught the Pangoro, a familiar chime resounded like it had from the castle when he first received the ball. An alert that items had been added to his inventory. As the screen was summoned once more, he caught the sight of a new item in his bag.

[attr="class","rbynote"]
BATTLE CARD (3 ea.)[break]
a card with a mysterious power. destroy it to activate its ability to poke-modify (name pending) your navi, and only your navi! resets after every battle encounter.

[newclass=.rbynote]border-width: 9px 9px 9px 9px;border-style:solid;border-image: url('https://i.imgur.com/UUqNs3l.png') 9 9 9 9 repeat repeat;padding:6px 8px;color:#232323;text-align:justify;font:11px Calibri;letter-spacing:1px; margin-top:20px;background:#aaa;background-clip: padding-box;[/newclass]

So it seemed the pair were expected to battle. He doubled down on that notion the moment he checked his Pangoro's condition and saw three items attached to it: Bright Powder, Black Belt, and Wide Lens. Odd choices for items, but maybe he could use them effectively.

As Schuyler exits out of his menu, he's met with a young boy who rolls right into him from the steep hill ahead. It seemed he tripped coming down, and his Purified Clefable follows close behind. Once the spinning stops from the head-on collision, Schuyler stands up and can't help but gently shove the kid off of him. He began to dust himself off before he arched his brow. Some of the kid's behaviors seemed... Odd, to say the least.

"Where's your parents?" he spat.

As the child spoke, it seemed to lack any sort of pattern to it. Maybe that was the effect of the dream world? Or maybe something further beyond his understanding. Either way, it gave severe NPC energy, and the writer figured he'd just roll with it. As he tried to walk off, the young boy and his Clefable followed close behind. A halt, then a few steps forward, followed by another halt.

"You can quit following me, thanks."

His tone cold, but it seemed enough to go right over the boy's head. Brows furrowed as he groaned from frustration and accepted his fate. Seemed the weird kid was his new companion. As the two travelled further, Schuyler continued the trek in silence before they eventually came across a door. A look of surprise altered his features, as the door looked familiar. As he grabbed the handle to turn, it wouldn't budge. Instead, a warning came up:

[attr="class","rbynote"]
BATTLE CARD REQUIRED[break]
will you break one of your battle cards to proceed?
[break]continue or exit

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Continue.

One of the battle cards left his inventory as Schuyler shattered it on the ground. The door opened and drew the party of two further into its depths.

The scenery felt familiar, uncomfortingly so. It was aged, caked in dust from being left to sit. His childhood home, or well what was left of it. The piano that sat proudly in the main room decorated in cobwebs drew his attention forward as he found himself unwillingly approaching it. A few keys in and the poor thing sounded so dissonant. It needed a fine tuning. A glance over his shoulder to the boy that had followed him into this dungeon of sorts allowed him the opportunity to speak calmly and collectively.

"Does any of this look familiar to you?"

The boy shook his head no. This was Schuyler's dream, not the boy's.

Something compelled him to sit at the piano and play his mother's favorite song. Fingers moved carefully and concisely to keep the tempo of the out-of-tune song. Every note hit was the right one, but due to the age of the piano seemed to lack the crisp sound. The final note came, and seemed to echo throughout the room. Shadows pushed and pulled, blowing the pair away as a sound echoed through the dreamscape:

"You were always a spineless coward."

Those words meant nothing to Schuyler, but they seemed to strike fear into the boy at his side. It seemed this was when their journey came together. An odd amalgamation, but one he wouldn't question. This was a dream, after all.

Shadows coalesced into faceless creatures that the pair were stuck fighting off. Schuyler combined the use of the BLACK BELT and Pangoro's HAMMER ARM to take on the majority of them, but this was the boy's fight, so he left the biggest shadow for him. Schuyler saw the fear in the young man's expression and finally spoke up.

"Sometimes your demons might look scary, but that's just a matter of perception. You have the ability to overcome them. So are you going to bark or bite?"

Those words seemed to have some effect on the boy as his Clefable took its stance and followed the order the kid offered and fired a MOONBEAM straight through the shadow's torso.

And so they were able to continue.

As their next battle approached, they were prompted once more to destroy a battle card. This grew to be troublesome, they each only had one more left. Something told him they needed to conserve it.

Their second fight blew through with ease. Just another onslaught of shadows. This time, Schuyler could make out the faces. His father, his mother, his piano teacher -- all of them carried harsh words, but he felt himself grow numb. It was nothing he hadn't heard before. (Was that what the boy experienced, too? He could understand the hesitation now, that the child didn't know how to stomach the cruel words from people who were supposed to love him.)

As they managed to dive further into the labarynth that twisted and turned into a blend of their dreams, it became easier to separate. At the end, they were presented with both doors that reacted to the pair.

"Seems this is where we part, huh? I'll see you on the other side, kid."

The final battle card met the ground and shattered into several pieces as Schuyler pushed his own door open.

Awaiting on the other side was a peculiar sight of rhythm boards one might see in a dancing game. The sight perplexed him, but he figured he'd bite. He took one end while his Pangoro took the other. With both their weights applied, the storm further into the room began to reach a fever pitch. Clouds cleared to reveal a DYNAMAXED version of the Pangoro. Schuyler turned to the Pangoro to his side and gave a firm nod. They could do this. How hard could it be?

"Alright, night slash."

With the words offered out, the controls at their feet lit up in a certain pattern. While the pair tried to follow it, it seemed they missed a step. As his own Pangoro readied to attack, it seemed the NIGHT SLASH had missed entirely. The boost from the BLACK SUNGLASSES proved pointless in that moment. Schuyler swallowed hard as the Dynamaxed Pangoro began its move.

Luckily the BRIGHT POWDER his own Pangoro carried was enough to momentarily disorient the boss. Seemed it was their turn again.

"Vital Throw!"

This time, Schuyler knew what to expect. Each step came, unfaltered and careful as his feet met the proper panels. With the success in the combo, the attack landed, ergo leaving room for the npc partner to attack as well. The Dynamaxed Pangoro was met with both a VITAL THROW from Schuyler's Pangoro, and a METEOR MASH from the Clefable. He seemed surprised to see the boy there. Wasn't he fighting his own battle? He wouldn't question the help though.

It was the Dynamaxed Pangoro's turn again, this time the attack landed with a HAMMER ARM to Schuyler's Pangoro. The creature staggered, but still remained conscious. But with the attack met, it seemed the Dynamax Energy in the room grew stronger.

It allowed the Dynamaxed Pangoro to go again. This time, the attack was set to take out Schuyler's pokemon. A breath in to realize that this dream was coming to an end. A breath out to ready himself to awaken.

"FOLLOW ME!"

The move came at just the right pinch. His controls lit up again, and he knew he couldn't afford any mistakes here. Left, right, left, right, forward, left. Each note hit in succession granted the use of his partner's FOLLOW ME.

He couldn't thank the child enough as he left out a sigh of relief. They were still in this. Now was the time for a final strike. Schuyler breathed in and called out the last strike.

"Shadow Break! Put your all into it!"

The steps given the use of the shadow move were far more complicated than those of a regular move. But Schuyler followed them step for step, ready to take down the Dynamaxed Pangoro. A successful combo earned the use of the shadow move as his own Pangoro charged forward for one final attack.

The room emitted a blinding light as the pair stepped foward to pick up the Zangoose Claw that had been left behind. They were met with the sight of the woods once more. It seemed the boy had successfully cleared his route as well. Schuyler heaved out a sigh of relief as he pulled the boy into a tight hug.

"I couldn't have made it without you," he admitted. "I never got your name."

"Sky. You can call me Sky."

His throat tightened a bit at the name, but he couldn't bring himself to figure out why.