her past is littered with a string of broken promises. at his darkest hour, when he needed her most, she vanished. atonement had not come easy; she'd nearly lost everything to save him when it mattered. 

so she is not moved when he voices her failings. she trails a finger through condensation on the bartop and a smirk rises to her warmed cheeks. 

"i will be her fire if she needs; her fang if she needs; her shoulder if she needs; i will bear her burdens and i will give her what happiness i can because she is better than all of us. she's better than me and gods know she's better than you.

"mock me if you'd like, but i am not the same woman who ran, no longer a husk of who i was*." she leans forward, his own words drawling off the tip of her tongue. "or did you forget that, when you claimed you had not failed?"

FERNANDO SILPH

*sanguine sacrilege smirk

☉

there are who knows how many other evas out there in the universe - her own, a fond memory tucked so sweetly into an all-too small mind, was a splendor, a marvel, bright and courageous and more powerful. they were intrinsically linked, wrapped around each other so thickly that she can't say for certain if she would have burned so brightly without their union, but still - 

she would have her in this life, if she could. if her heart wasn't pulled in another direction, too small to make enough room for the both of them.

"i didn't give up on you," she says, "even when you turned the odds against me."

why did you bring the team you did, fernando? when you knew she specialized in poisons? why did you bring that which could harm me?

she untucks her chin and holds out her hand, lips parted to ask him what the price is. pride worms its way through and she says, with vehemence, "absolutely."

FERNANDO SILPH

☉

she barks a laugh to hide the anxiety that blooms under every pore on her skin. the whiskey lights up and when her breath hitches in the smallest of ways, she swears she can taste his mist. 

"and how do you want me, fernando?" she asks, the lingering remains of resentment thick on the back of her tongue, in the way her stare hardens.

"lapping from your hand like a dog?"

liv puts down her polishing rag and makes herself busy at the other end of the bar, cleaning a section she'd cleared only minutes before.

FERNANDO SILPH

☉

her first instinct is to strike him. she satisfies the urge quickly with a look into that future, embellishing it with the whiskey tumbler in her hand smashed into the side of his head. the right side of her lips quirk, showing teeth, the trademark smirk of another ghosting her mannerisms.

"you'll never have me. not like that. not ever again. but don't do me the disservice of forgetting my bite."

FERNANDO SILPH

☉

"i already agreed. the wager holds," she clarifies succinctly, golds never leaving his face. her half-cocked smile does not falter. "because that's just it. i don't lack the confidence at all. i know you won't win."

she will stumble. that is only inevitable, but never will she fail herself again. never will she fail the people who care for her, not because they need her to fulfill a purpose, play part to a game, but because she is loved and she can love in return.

"because i won't lose."

FERNANDO SILPH

☉

this rare moment of tenderness, reserved for the only person who might actually manage to break through his rough exterior, makes her uncomfortable. green again with a jealousy felt at the winter party held however many forevers ago. 

"yeah, well, i've gone against worse odds, i think," she says and she raises her glass, clinks against his own whether he offers it or not. 

"and that hole where your eye should be says otherwise."

FERNANDO SILPH

☉

in their quieter life, he'd kept the eye. he was different. this one would have hated him, she thinks. two eyes, no need for an eyepatch, but he'd still taken to wearing headbands*. 

"isn't it boring? playing chess with yourself?" she asks. her phone buzzes on the bartop, but she lets it alone. tsubaki will reschedule any appointments she misses. 

gods, i'm gonna miss that girl.

realizing her thoughts are wandering, she swipes her tongue over her teeth and turns back to the heart of their conversation. 

"and for the record, i already have your back. i don't know how many times i need to tell you this. or make it clear with my actions."

FERNANDO SILPH

☉