“Aren’t they literally water types? Don’t they, y’know, breathe underwater?”

June sighed as Rex looked absolutely honest and earnest about his desire to save the crabs. Sure, they mostly relegated themselves to the beaches and harassed as many innocent people as possible. Also made for good stews. And sushi. And snacks. And things to feed Matchstick…

What was her point? Oh, right. “And my name is June, dumbass. Better off letting them figure their own shit out. Hell, they might try and kill us instead!”

But it was too late. The idiot had already called for his Pokémon, and a Munchlax waddled down the hall sometime after the trainer called. June rolled her eyes and pulled out her own poke ball.

“Look, whatever, I’m just here to take all the important shit we find back to the mainland,” she let the sphere fall onto the floor, and a small insect emerged. Its long, flat, red body was perfectly made for getting through a small gap in the walls of the ship.

“Bacon will go in and… I don’t know, honestly. But she’ll get in there. That’s for sure.”

She was a tough, smart insect. Surely she’d do something smart to free the eight-legged sledgehammers while ensuring the safety of the stuff inside said room. That fridge looked mighty intact, and nothing a little elbow grease couldn't make right. Had to be worth something to someone, and a fat stack of cash sounded much nicer than Rex right about now.

---

Althus Rex
04. Direct a Pokémon to scout ahead for reconnaissance

Bacon wormed forward, bless her heart. She wormed and wormed and wormed through the crevices of the ship into the room in question. The insect's heat caused old metal to slacken and melt. As Bacon wormed into the room in question, she was surrounded by angry crabs.

Pincers snapped. Claws clacked against each other. Kinglers peered at Bacon like she was a sizzling snack. Bubbles frothed and overflowed as they jumped the centipede, intent on snapping it in two.

"June? Like the month?" Rex scratched his head thoughtfully. He was a few matchsticks short of a cinderbox, for sure. "Do you have eleven siblings?"

Idiot. Meanwhile, Munchlax lunged towards the locked door, before quickly stopping. The tub of lard waggled a finger and used Metronome.

Bang! The door exploded off its hinges, opening the room with Bacon and Krabby to June and Rex.

"Ta-da!" Rex waggled his eyebrows. "Let's go!"

---

june sleigh
43. Force open a locked or barricaded door to access a critical area.

“Hehehe…” Bacon murmured. She’d get in there alright. First, it was obvious that she had to shed her fiery nature. A Fire Up would certainly do the trick and boil them alive. Then she’d Coil up to gain extra defenses and make herself stronger. After that, she’d Slam her entire weight into each shell to crack it open like a Red Krabby All-you-can-eat buffet.

Oh, these fuckers had no idea what was comin’ to them.

Full of confidence and with a full-proof plan of action, Bacon launched herself from the cracks of the wall. “Watch this, fuckers!”

A flame erupted.

Akin to a firecracker.

All it did was serve to draw every single water-spider’s attention straight to her. And much like a pack of Sharpedo in the presence of blood, they wasted no time in pouncing of the very small and defenseless insect.

"SIZLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

June cringed as the bacon-sized creature disappeared beneath the mass of Krabby. Pincers stabbed into the ground visciously, and a hole quickly formed in the floorboards. Yet that didn’t help the Sizzlipede, who then found herself crunched between one pair of pincers, only to be forcefully pulled into another’s voracious jaws.

“GET EM OF ME, OH ARCEUS IT HURTS, PLEASE OH FUCK HELP ME–”

Terrifying wails echoed inside the harrowed halls, and June could only watch. It was only the insatiable greed from the massive swarm that kept Bacon alive, but soon enough she’d be torn in twain and then it wouldn’t matter. Claw after claw whipped into the small helpless body. She'd already gone limp like a... well, piece of soggy bacon.

The chewy kind that flopped around and was entirely more delicious than the crunchy kind. Thankfully, the Munchlax burst open the door. “Don’t worry Bacon, we’re coming to save you!”

June and her zero aptly month-named siblings stormed in. Reason was lost, and she charged head on into the first Kingler. Her fist raised high, it slammed into the hard exoskeleton of the creature.

After a moment, she clutched her hand hard and fell to the floor in agony. “Ow…”

Bacon was doomed.

---

Althus Rex

17. Create distractions to draw threats away from vulnerable areas

No, no. Bacon was cooked. Idiot June.

Still, he respected her guts. He had thrown hands with a series of Gravelers once in Granite Cave, and he still had the scars across his knuckles to prove it. The fight had been all fun and games until they all exploded on Rex, nearly causing a cave-in. That was then, though. This was now.

"Hey, that was a pretty good punch! You've got some fight in you." Rex nodded in approval as he lunged forward alongside her. Blind leading the blind. He didn't even care about Bacon, but the thrill of the fight. The rush...

Intoxicating.

Which was why he was flung into a wall by an enraged Kingler. Rex grunted as he slid down to the floor, before quickly getting up to his feet. As June struggled to throw hands with the crustacean, she would see something by her foot.

'Toge toge?' A Togepi looked up at her with large eyes.

---

june sleigh
27. Handle encounters with hostile individuals or pokemon.

Rex also folded immediately to the Kingler, and June looked at him with wide, unhinged eyes. He was worthless. She was a little less worthless. Together, the combined to make about a tenth of a competent person at best. It’d never been so over. Forget Bacon– they might join her in the afterlife.

“Bacon…” June held out a Poke ball. The creature could survive. Live to see another day. Carry on her legacy. As the flimsy piece of mock food nearly fell into a Krabby's maw, it disappeared into a red beam of light.

She was safe. All the Kingler looked at her, and she closed her eyes. Death wasn’t the worst fate. There were far worse. For starters, she could watch someone else get mauled to death by Krabby and Kingler and then get mauled herself. Poor Rex.

Except for the damn Togepi. One eye peered between the narrow slit of an eyebrow. “What the…”

---

Althus Rex

'Toge toge?'

Togepi's eyes grew wider as he waggled his fingers in an attempt to melt the delivery girl's heart. Yet June was a hard woman whose heart was only open for Fletchlings and Varooms. Togepi was not a bird (yet) nor a vacuum cleaner, thus he was irrelevant. Yet the finger waggling continued.

'Toge?'

It became clear that the Togepi was uttering some eldritch verse in an attempt to do something. A Metronome began to emanate from Togepi's hand, which he then tapped against one of the many crabs. A bright light flashed in the room, blinding June and Rex to the great power of Togepi.

'Pi.' He tapped the Kingler.

---

june sleigh

There was a flash of light. Where there was once a room full of Krabby and Kingler, there was now nothing but blinding white and deafening silence. June couldn’t process anything, for the stimulus was absolute. It stole the air from her lungs and the color from life.

But it faded, as all things do. And when it did, the entire room had been… erased from time itself. It no longer existed and showed no signs of previously being real. Now there was nothing but the vast open sea, the ruins of Sea Mauville, and the creak of various bits and pieces of the ship.

Kingler were gone. Krabby were gone. She looked to the small, rotuned egg with abject horror.

“What the fuck…”

Slowly, her head turned towards the fridge. Or rather, where it’d once been. That too had been erased from history.

“What is wrong with you…”

---

Althus Rex

'Toge toge!' Togepi reached out its arms towards June, demanding uppies for his hard work. 'Toge!'

Rex staggered to his feet, a small bit of his hair was ablaze. He quickly patted it out and rubbed his forehead. It looked like he had lost a fight with an oven. That wasn't necessarily true. They had lost a fight with the fridge, but June didn't need to know that. From a nearby section of rubble, Rex's Munchlax emerged.

'Toge toge!'

"Nice work, Togepi!" Rex cheered as he looked around. "That was remarkably easy! That's why we're gonna be champs when we beat the Elite Four!"

Rexturned towards June, bewildered.

"What did I do wrong?"

---

june sleigh

June looked down at the small creature. This omnipotent being. It wanted uppies?

It deserved to look at the daisies while June loaded her revolver. A nice middle ground was to back away from the creature slowly. Carefully. She pulled herself off the ground and held her hands high. Visible, as to not incite more violence.

Forget the fridge. Forget the Krabby and Kingler. This was the fate worse than death. “You gotta…”

“You gotta kill that thing.”

One step became two, which became three, and then melted into a flurry of steps. She ran away. She wasn’t sure where, but it had to be as far away from here as possible. That thing was a monster, a demon in disguise. Hell had frozen over, and the reaper had come to collect.

And infect the hearts of its followers with deceit and lies. Uppies were a pact, and June wasn’t going to sign up. She’d rather die than do so.

And she didn’t want to die right then either. Thus, she ran and didn’t look back and prayed she’d be able to see the next hour.

---

Althus Rex