WRITE REPLY

[M] gift

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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played by

ranya

lavi, attie
she/her
Nineteen
July 2
Petalburg City, Hoenn
pansexual
Aspiring scientist
Civilian
dangerous
to my enemies, loyal to my friends.
5'5'' / 165 cm height
5'5'' / 165 cm height
let no one think of me as humble or weak or passive; let them understand i am of a different kind.
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38 posts
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TAG WITH @lavinia
Lavinia Kubrick
[M] gift
POSTED ON Oct 2, 2024 17:16:11 GMT
Lavinia Kubrick Avatar
[nospaces]
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[attr="class","top"]
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[attr="class","subtextbox"]
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i have a heart of stone and iron; i will be called[break]fortunate, and my head will be crowned with stars.

[attr="class","border"]




[attr="class","postbox"]

[attr="class","imgavatar"]


By the time the sun dips below the horizon, Lavinia's anger has all but evaporated. The image of Chrysanthe gagged and bound, or else dead by the roadside, flashes before her eyes with every ragged breath she takes. She cannot shake it off, not any more than she can rid herself of this bone-deep exhaustion that she's forced to acknowledge against her will.

[break][break]

Even without rage to spur her onward, though, she keeps running. Her chest is burning, her heartbeat erratic, and she knows that if she allows herself even a moment of rest she won't be able to move again for too long; half a second being too long. With every instant they inch closer to the sky going dark, to their mother coming home to find two daughters gone and their next-door neighbor wringing his hands while he watches the little ones in her eldest's stead.

[break][break]

With every instant they inch closer to everything Lavinia has worked so hard for coming undone, to her mother's love turning into indifference. For all that she's always had faith in , she can't imagine her mother will ever look at her with affection again if the worst comes to pass.

[break][break]

With that being the case, it can't be anger that keeps her going. It can't be hope either, not after so long, or even determination. She's fueled by terror, pure and simple, for herself and Chrysanthe both.

[break][break]

Lavinia catches a glimpse of flowing dark hair and pushes herself harder still, too tired to speak; too tired to even run, it turns out, as she twists her ankle and only Kalliope's deft claws keep her from crashing to the ground. Wincing, she allows herself the luxury of leaning on the Hatterene and slowing down.

[break][break]

Then she lays eyes on Chrysanthe and quite suddenly a tidal wave of anger comes over her again, its force such that the pain and exhaustion seem unimportant. She shrugs the Hatterene off and marches towards the younger girl wordlessly, stepping right into her path.

[break][break]

Under different circumstances Lavinia would have checked her little sibling for injuries and embraced them. Now, even though Chrysanthe is unscathed, she doesn't feel an ounce of relief. Instead her rage swells — she is more hurt between them — to a fever pitch, and the only thing she can think to do is slap the stupid girl across the face with all her strength.

[break][break]

She might well have too, if not for Kalliope's tentacle coming to wrap around her arm. Instead she takes a breath, visibly trembling with anger and the effort it takes to restrain herself from physical violence.

[break][break]

"Chrysanthe Eireann Kubrick," Lavinia enunciates each syllable with very deliberate slowness and a deranged sense of pleasure, expression harsh even with tears welling up in her eyes, "I could kill you with my bare hands right now."

[break][break]

She could scream at them too, but this is a war zone and she's nothing if not dutiful. Lavinia turns on her heel without so much as a backwards glance and adds, her tone chilling, "Get moving."


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Mission[break]
— 1/5+ posts required[break]

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played by

yuen

Chrys, Crystal
she/they
fifteen
October 15
Petalburg City
aromantic asexual
student
fairy tale girl
once upon
a dream.
4'7'' / 140 cm height
4'7'' / 140 cm height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
61 posts
part of
TAG WITH @chrysanthe
Chrysanthe Kubrick
[M] gift
POSTED ON Oct 3, 2024 22:05:06 GMT
Chrysanthe Kubrick Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","chrysanthekubrick"]
[attr="class","body"]


It's not unusual for Chrysanthe to walk off on her own, guarded by forces that she can't nor feels any pleasure in explaining or reasoning. They exist and allow her to live comfortably in this place, even as the world burns down. Even as war rages, she remains in her glass castle, in this wonderful dream where everything is just fine ... but it cracks, and the longer they wander the once-familiar routes, the more she runs into things she cannot remember (battles, scars - wild creatures at unrest, nature being undone in the favour of human greed and human determination), she wonders ... Where is she even headed to? Where are they supposed to go? Be?[break]
[break]
The longer she goes on, the more of her Pokémon - those that they packed, leaving behind everyone else in uproar and unrest over this strange disappearance of their trainer, their princess, their precious one - appear close to her, as if guarding the young one amidst their middle. Doireann the Mawile looks uneasy as Aisling the Munna and Catriona the Hatenna accompany her easily, with Liadan the Gardevoir walking hand-in-hand with Chrysanthe, Benedict the Iron Valiant showing off some of its magic tricks. It's ... eerily peaceful, amidst the strangeness of this place, and she doesn't even remember that she should go home soon. She doesn't remember - until-[break]
[break]
With wonder, she watches the figure of her sister appear in front of her, her face morphing to that of joy at first - it's Lavinia! Does she want to join her walk-? But that breaks so soon, terror washing over her expression as she flinches at her full name being spoken, like some evil spell that has her terrified. An evil spell that reveals the figure in front of them to be scratched and bruised and mad, in rage, wrathful, and so very unlike the sister she knows. She cowers at the cold tone as her shadows quivers in anticipation of a blow that never comes, at the harsh words that make it through her stubborn mind. Her face pales as she takes a step back, their Pokémon further crowding around her as they sense the fear she holds.[break]
[break]
This isn't. This can't be- it has to be someone else, someone who isn't - it can't be.[break]
[break]
A tear falls down her face, her voice trembling, "y-you ... you're - you're not my sister. I - I hate you!" Her last words echo in the lonely forest, burnt and bruised just like the figure in front of her. An evil spirit? Is the forest mad at her? They feel their throat closing as she is barely able to hold back her tears anymore, turning to the Gardevoir with an urgent voice, "please ... take me away, take me away-" Her mind is a mess - she doesn't know what to feel, what to think, what to-[break]
[break]
But with one careful Teleport, glances exchanged between the Iron Valiant and the Gardevoir, the latter disappears with Aisling, Catriona - and Chrysanthe, leaving only Doireann and Benedict. The latter is quite ready to take on the remaining in battle if needed, honing their blade - all in the service of their chosen one. Whereas Doireann looks nervous, trying to walk up to Lavinia with a plead on his lips, but unable to form the words she might be better to understand. He turns to Linus instead, hoping ... but considering the state of things, how long this must have been going on, he doesn't know. He just doesn't know anymore.




[break]

MISSION: Side Skirmish - Petalburg


- 1/5+ posts required.[break]
- Experience the skirmishes happening near Petalburg outside the battles.






[attr="class","pkmn"]










[attr="class","credit"]
MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

ranya

lavi, attie
she/her
Nineteen
July 2
Petalburg City, Hoenn
pansexual
Aspiring scientist
Civilian
dangerous
to my enemies, loyal to my friends.
5'5'' / 165 cm height
5'5'' / 165 cm height
let no one think of me as humble or weak or passive; let them understand i am of a different kind.
awards
38 posts
part of
TAG WITH @lavinia
Lavinia Kubrick
[M] gift
POSTED ON Oct 3, 2024 23:41:57 GMT
Lavinia Kubrick Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","pilots lavinia"]
[attr="class","top"]
[attr="class","topimage"]


[attr="class","subtextbox"]
[attr="class","lyrics"]
i have a heart of stone and iron; i will be called[break]fortunate, and my head will be crowned with stars.

[attr="class","border"]




[attr="class","postbox"]

[attr="class","imgavatar"]


Despite the worry and the fear coiled in her stomach like a pair of snakes; despite how fervently she wished that Kat would be right, that Chrys would somehow — by nothing short of a miracle — be fine; and despite love for her sibling being the root of all this burning, ugly rage... Despite all of that, Lavinia can't quite bring herself to be repentant when terror grips them and they recoil. Quite the opposite, she feels her pleasure grow. She thinks, Good. They deserve to know what they inflicted on me, even just an ounce of it.

[break][break]

Of course, though, things are never that easy. Not with anyone in her family, least of all with Chrysanthe. The middle child is every bit as unapologetic as her older sister, and oh, they don't stop there either. Lavinia's expression, transformed with severity, barely twitches at their words; but when they plead with the Gardevoir she rushes forward madly, pleading — begging — in turn, "Chrys! Chryssy, wait, please —"

[break][break]

She strains to catch her sibling's wrist, to at least be teleported away with them, but the pain makes itself felt just at the worst moment and then…

[break][break]

Then Chrysanthe is gone.

[break][break]

"Oh," is all Lavinia says before she sinks to her knees.

[break][break]

I'm so pathetic, she thinks upon collapsing after hours spent avoiding this very display of utter weakness. She has to get up, she has to keep moving, reach Chrys again — but she can't, and it's got nothing to do with her fucking ankle. I have to. Even if I can't, I have to.

[break][break]

She tries her damned best, legs shaking violently, only for them to splay beneath her again before either of her Pokémon can reach her side. As for Chrysanthe's, they might not be there for all the attention Lavinia affords them (though her Hatterene looks poised to strike at the Iron Valiant). Still on the ground, she lets out a sound much like a sob —

[break][break]

— only it turns out to be more of a humorless laugh, as she throws her head back and goes on laughing until it causes her physical pain.

[break][break]

"Kalliope," she says, commanding even while hoarse, "after them. I don't care how far from me you have to go, so long as you find them. Incapacitate their team if you must. Linus —"

[break][break]

Before she can command him, the Espeon's head comes to rest against her shoulder. Her expression falls, the anger drains out of her like water, and she takes up sobbing with enough force to hurt her throat. What birds remain in the devastated forest take wing, startled, while she hides her face in her hands and bursts into tears.

[break][break]

I hate you.

[break][break]

Of course they do, Lavinia thinks wildly, her whole body trembling. She's a failure of a daughter and a failure of a sister, not only letting her little sibling get away right under her nose but scaring them like that and enjoying it. Of course they do. Only hatred explains why they're causing her so much heartache.

[break][break]

"Isn't it funny, Doireann?" She asks her sister's Mawile after lifting her face and seeing his fearful expression. "I wanted to ask Chrys if they hate me. If they want me to suffer." A sound that's half a laugh and half a sob bubbles from her lips. "In the end… I didn't have to ask at all."

[break][break]

Still weeping, she grips Linus for support and rises to her feet, albeit unsteadily. The Hatterene, too, comes to try and hold her up despite its small body. For once she doesn't lash out over her orders going unheeded, instead wiping at her face with her sleeve — to little effect. Even with the water flowing of its own accord, though, she fans the smoldering remains of the fire in her chest and it roars back to life.

[break][break]

"Doireann and… You there — I swear, there's just too many of you — when did Chrys even get a Para — Ugh," this last is said as she takes a false step and damn near twists her ankle a second time. "Anyway, help me out here, Kalliope is too light to lean on. More importantly… Any idea where Gardevoir might have taken my sister?"


[attr="class","oocnotes"]
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[break]
Mission[break]
— 2/5+ posts required[break]

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[attr="class","pkmnteam"]


[attr="class","mcredits"][attr="class","fas fa-cookie-bite"]







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played by

yuen

Chrys, Crystal
she/they
fifteen
October 15
Petalburg City
aromantic asexual
student
fairy tale girl
once upon
a dream.
4'7'' / 140 cm height
4'7'' / 140 cm height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
61 posts
part of
TAG WITH @chrysanthe
Chrysanthe Kubrick
[M] gift
POSTED ON Oct 5, 2024 12:51:11 GMT
Chrysanthe Kubrick Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","chrysanthekubrick"]
[attr="class","body"]


Chrysanthe does not notice her sister lunging forth, nor the words that are uttered in plea - all she notices is a surging darkness in her mind, too closed off to what is actually happening to realise the truth of the matter. All she can think of is wanting to be gone, gone, gone - gone, wherever it may be, as long as it's away from here.[break]
[break]
Once safely landed in a different part of the forests is Gardevoir laying easy, offering a warm embrace to the young one and her troubled Pokémon that scatter and collect all around her. The princess - the young girl weeps, and weeps, feeling an ache in her heart that she so rarely experiences in full, if ever. This can't be her world. Her world isn't so - bruised, and broken, and lonely. Her world shouldn't be like this - the forest burnt, nature scratched and bruised, with a raging spirit of the woods lashing out on her in the form of her sister. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry - I'm so very sorry ..." she mutters, repeats amidst her sobbing, unable to see past of what she thinks to be true. It's a scary world outside ... but inside, as well.[break]
[break]
The Hatenna is looking at her trainer with distress, reaching out to connect with the other physically despite the turmoil that she herself is facing in the presence of so many overwhelming emotions. This is why she cannot let her suffer like this, why reality can't be fit for such an innocent soul that longs - no, that belongs in a world where everything is as she wants it to be. Exchanging glances with the Munna, Aisling begins to lull her to sleep as the Gardevoir nods - letting out a small sigh. Silently, they communicate her return to the shores, to finish this once and for all. She knows that she can ... trust the shadows that roam alongside the princess. So, she teleports back.[break]
[break]


[break]
It's only for the Mawile to witness the fall of Lavinia, watches with horror as the Hatterene and the Iron Valiant exchange blows and blades of psychic energy, determination on either of their faces, standing for who and what they believe to be worth the fight. The eldest Kubrick sister scares him in this moment, though his fear is more for her well-being - the well-being of Chrysanthe, of both of the sisters, of all the sisters that are past the stage of toddlers and younglings. Furiously, the Mawile begins to gesture as Lavinia speaks, trying to implore the other not to think that her sister would hate her because he knows that Chrysanthe does not, could never truly hate for someone she holds so dearly to her heart. There is no part in this world, no place in this universe where this world could hold any true value. But still ... Doireann is limited to intangible sounds and frantic gestures alone, shaking his head (and the attached second mouth with it) to fully make a point that matters, or so he thinks as he looks more desperate and sombre the longer this goes on.[break]
[break]
He is quick to attach himself to her side, careful to see if there is any discomfort from the other, as the Hatenna disengages from battle, leaving Benedict on stand-by himself - not attacking the wounded foe as the Mawile expresses his trust in the other. And just as Lavinia mentions the Gardevoir ... Liadan appears once more, her eyes glowing a dangerous determination, readying an attack as she stands by the side of the Iron Valiant, both dual types to hinder any advances, as long as the well-being of their chosen one is not secured; Double Teams from either Pokémon are multiplying their presences, building a wall of illusions amidst this cruel reality. Mistrust stemming from both of them is palpable in the air as they regard the Mawile silently, the only reason they haven't outright attacked just yet.




[break]

MISSION: Side Skirmish - Petalburg


- 2/5+ posts required.[break]
- Experience the skirmishes happening near Petalburg outside the battles.






[attr="class","pkmn"]










[attr="class","credit"]
MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

ranya

lavi, attie
she/her
Nineteen
July 2
Petalburg City, Hoenn
pansexual
Aspiring scientist
Civilian
dangerous
to my enemies, loyal to my friends.
5'5'' / 165 cm height
5'5'' / 165 cm height
let no one think of me as humble or weak or passive; let them understand i am of a different kind.
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38 posts
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TAG WITH @lavinia
Lavinia Kubrick
[M] gift
POSTED ON Oct 5, 2024 15:16:00 GMT
Lavinia Kubrick Avatar
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[attr="class","pilots lavinia"]
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i have a heart of stone and iron; i will be called[break]fortunate, and my head will be crowned with stars.

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Lavinia wishes this silly little thing could understand her question was rhetorical. The last fucking thing she needs is for a Pokémon to yap incomprehensibly at her, even if — especially if it's one of her sister's. She can't tell whether Doireann is berating or trying to comfort her, but she leans towards the former given what-is-its-name's willingness to battle Kalliope.

[break][break]

Chrys really does hate her, huh...?

[break][break]

Nonetheless, the Mawile is obviously frantic and so she keeps from snapping at him. Oh, how she wishes she kept from snapping at Chrysanthe themself! The damage is done, though, and all that's left is to try and repair it if she can. If. The love between her and Chryssy — or rather, the love she bears for them — may not be enough. She was so focused on not losing her mother's affection that she didn't even think…

[break][break]

A flood of sobbing bursts from her. Mom has never turned her fury against her, nor did the eldest Kubrick think she would ever have reason to do so, but now —

[break][break]

Yet what right does Lavinia have to fear when she turned that very same fury on her sibling's gentle heart? She should have been gentle herself, damn it. She's always been gentle with Chryssy... even if it meant going against her nature. Now her mask has slipped and she's shattered the young one's fantasy of her, trampled on their innocence.

[break][break]

"This is for the best," she murmurs, more to herself than anything. "Who knows how long I could've kept this up? If anything, Chrys should have seen it coming. I have so much of our mother in me, but... I guess they're nothing if not self-deceptive."

[break][break]

When the Gardevoir reappears she's hopeful for a split second, only for said hope to be immediately dashed. This stupid creature left Chrys with only Munna and Hattena for defense, thinking their older sister a threat. The thought alone is enough for Lavinia to see red.

[break][break]

Sensing this Kalliope prepares for battle immediately, no less fierce despite being outnumbered. She's just like her Trainer; a realization which makes Lavinia chuckle, though it rings hollow.

[break][break]

All the wrath she's inherited from Calpurnia, she has passed on to her Forest Witch in turn. Sure, this vicious Hatterene is capable of impressive composure; but then, so is Lavinia. It's a miracle that Linus was spared this inheritance. He's much like Chrysanthe in that way.

[break][break]

And yet, no amount of self-reflection can keep her rage from overflowing at the sight of both Pokémon using Double Team against her. The anger is now so intense that she forgets to weep altogether, instead laughing the same deranged, ugly laugh as before.

[break][break]

Afterwards she tells them coldly, "What you lack in intelligence you make up for with brute force, I see." Whatever fear she might have felt is utterly meaningless now. If they want to strike her down... Let them try. "That's my sister, you overprotective fools. Who do you think you are to stand between me and my charge?"

[break][break]

She looks at the Hatterene and says, "Use Calm Mind, but wait for now." To the hostile Pokémon she adds, "Stand down or I will have Kalliope beat you both up, much as it'll upset Chryssy."

[break][break]

Linus' tail hits the back of her leg with surprising force and she whirls round to glower at the Espeon, silently demanding What do you want? She knows the answer, though, and just as silently she signals for Kalliope to retreat, yielding — though not completely. Never that.

[break][break]

"I will grant you one thing," she addresses the Gardevoir and its future relative, more quietly now. "I'm a terrible person. Wrathful, proud, selfish, all that. But I would never let any harm come to Chrys, let alone harm them myself."

[break][break]

A tear slides down her cheek. That they would even think that… Her eyes shining yet as hard as stone, she adds, "A woman like me never begs — but I beg you. Let me take my sister home."


[attr="class","oocnotes"]
[attr="class","tag"]
[break]
Mission[break]
— 3/5+ posts required[break]
— Note how she admits her flaws and even begs but doesn't apologize[break]
— That's because she still thinks they're stupid. I hate her[break]
— Also: "A woman like me [...]" is a verbatim quote from Medea. I hate her[break]

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played by

yuen

Chrys, Crystal
she/they
fifteen
October 15
Petalburg City
aromantic asexual
student
fairy tale girl
once upon
a dream.
4'7'' / 140 cm height
4'7'' / 140 cm height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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61 posts
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TAG WITH @chrysanthe
Chrysanthe Kubrick
[M] gift
POSTED ON Oct 9, 2024 19:05:32 GMT
Chrysanthe Kubrick Avatar
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It seems that Doireann's last-ditch effort to deescalate the situation bring forth nothing as instead, it all but seems to worsen by the sight, as he can only disagree with her words, but they fall on deaf ears as it seems like Lavinia is set on her own answer, and a mere Mawile of all Pokémon could change nothing about it. There is, however, a more protective stance that he tries to take as the Gardevoir reappears, building up a barrier alongside the Iron Valiant, all the while that Doireann is trying not to point his second mouth towards Lavinia. Fortunately, Liadan doesn't attack outright, preparing for battle, but never initiating it outright. She knows that Chrysanthe holds a care for them that runs deep if in a warped way, sometimes.[break]
[break]
Though there are few choice words she could utter if only capable of human speech, the Gardevoir is a picture of calm composure standing in contrast to the outbreak that Lavinia experiences - sharp eyes that follow each movement, perceive each word, and yet nothing rings true in her mind as she exchanges a glance with the Iron Valiant. Then, she teleports again.[break]
[break]


[break]
Chrysanthe rubs her eyes, waking in a world that is burning - changing to something gentler as her tears fall, moulding the world around her to a dream-like escape that she so yearns for. There is the light touch of the Hatenna in this wonderful dream, the gentle exuding smoke of the Munna as it changes colours, from nightmare to daydream. She gathers them both, unable to think - unable to dream as even this world falls into itself, leaving a starkly white canvas. A world of nothing but light, and she weeps, not understanding the world.[break]
[break]
Outside, the Marshadow lurks from the shadows of the princess' sleeping body, a dull ache within itself as it disappears again - ready to strike if needed, but this is no danger that a punch could mend. It etches closer, laying arms of darkness around her, and her world turns into a comforting dark.[break]
[break]


[break]
Liadan appears mere feet in front of Lavinia this time, the illusionary duplicates easing away as she halts - approaching, as if in acknowledgement of the words uttered, yet unwilling to yield to words alone. In the end, words are treacherous, just as the ones the sisters both uttered right at the beginning. How would the words right now hold meaning, if such cruelty stands on the other side of the scale? But Chrysanthe's love - Doireann's trust must mean something, so she shows an act of mercy - of cruelty herself, perhaps, as she reaches out her arms, not touching the other, but still in close-enough proximity to synchronise the sisters' feelings as her eyes glow bright, transmitting the raw emotions from Chrysanthe's point of view.[break]
[break]
Her undying joy of seeing her sister amidst this chaos - yet the fearful illusion she crafted herself, of this isn't actually my sister because my sister isn't cruel, this unwavering trust she has in Lavinia to be kind - the undying belief in this tremendously ugly world to be wonderful, to perceive each as something so incredibly beautiful, even at the cost of not seeing what she does not wish to see. This dream, that each of them desire to protect, as it comes burning and crashing with reality.[break]
[break]
The love, unbroken, that she has for her family.[break]
[break]
In turn, Liadan perceives at the very surface of disfigured terror - and love and fear and pride, and the hardships she went through in this battle-torn place, whereas the young one passed through easily with the help of the shadows. She retraces her hands as her eyes' glow dim - though she does not think to reach an agreement with this alone, it's the least she can offer in terms of an understanding. And, after another beat of eternity, the Gardevoir reaches out once more, only for Lavinia to take her hand, if she so wishes - to go see her sister.




[break]

MISSION: Side Skirmish - Petalburg


- 3/5+ posts required.[break]
- Experience the skirmishes happening near Petalburg outside the battles.






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MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

ranya

lavi, attie
she/her
Nineteen
July 2
Petalburg City, Hoenn
pansexual
Aspiring scientist
Civilian
dangerous
to my enemies, loyal to my friends.
5'5'' / 165 cm height
5'5'' / 165 cm height
let no one think of me as humble or weak or passive; let them understand i am of a different kind.
awards
38 posts
part of
TAG WITH @lavinia
Lavinia Kubrick
[M] gift
POSTED ON Oct 10, 2024 2:46:49 GMT
Lavinia Kubrick Avatar
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[attr="class","pilots lavinia"]
[attr="class","top"]
[attr="class","topimage"]


[attr="class","subtextbox"]
[attr="class","lyrics"]
i have a heart of stone and iron; i will be called[break]fortunate, and my head will be crowned with stars.

[attr="class","border"]




[attr="class","postbox"]

[attr="class","imgavatar"]


As far as Lavinia is concerned, it was generous to offer Gardevoir and Iron Valiant even a chance to back down. She did it for Chryssy's sake, of course, but still — Her whole body longs for an act of violence, yet she still wears velvet gloves. She yearns not so much to sic her Hatterene on these hateful beings as to lunge at them herself, though of course she knows rationally that she would be soundly defeated.

[break][break]

Instead she has been forced to beg; a plea that, while sincere, has done nothing to dissolve her fury. She is even more wrathful at the indignity of all of this, the sheer audacity of this Gardevoir to think — think — oh, she cannot dwell on it or she might weep again. That is the worst part, really, that she has no outlet whatsoever for all the ugly rage simmering in her; that she has to simply bear it, bear yet another indignity on top of all the ones that came before, today but also every day.

[break][break]

Lavinia has never voiced it, but she has long thought it unfair that one sister could get away with rebelling and the other could be a spoiled little princess while she had to be perfect. Could, because now Cassandra is gone and Chrysanthe is well past being simply spoiled. They are outright delusional — and they are gone, too.

[break][break]

When the Gardevoir appears in front of her she does not scream or flinch, but merely stares at this picture of perfect composure as though in defiance. She is a mess by comparison, of course, but for the first time in her life she does not feel ashamed. Yet she doesn't quite feel proud, either. She isn't sure what she feels, rage and love and sorrow and hatred all intertwined, and of course the terror. That, too. That most of all.

[break][break]

Then she feels something quite different, unbridled joy and love and trust, but there is fear there as well; fear of her. She saw that fear as clear as day in Chryssy's gaze, but to feel it as though it were her own… To say nothing of all the rest, all these pure and innocent feelings that could never — not in a million years — belong to her.

[break][break]

Make it stop, she wants to say, just as much as she wants Kalliope to attack the Gardevoir. Yet she neither pleads nor commands: Pleading once is one time too many, and commanding an attack would ruin her chances of seeing her sibling again forever.

[break][break]

"I told you," she says instead, quietly, the tears running down her face just as quietly, "I am a terrible person. You are right, I do not deserve Chryssy. If you could at least —"

[break][break]

Yet she is indeed terrible, selfish and proud to such an extent that the request for the Gardevoir to take her sister home lodges in her throat; that she can't quite relinquish her responsibility despite how badly she's failed at it. Instead Lavinia lowers her head and weeps, desperate but silent, her shoulders trembling with restrained sobs. She has no right to anything, not to Chryssy's love and certainly not to catharsis.

[break][break]

Suddenly the Espeon's tail whips against her legs once more and she looks up, startled, to see the Gardevoir holding its hand out. Her first thought is to shake her head — and here comes Linus' tail a third time, painfully now, as if to say Get a grip.

[break][break]

Lavinia releases a shuddering breath, the tears still falling. She doesn't bother to wipe them. Wide-eyed and pale with fear, she places her trembling hand in the Gardevoir's all the same.

[attr="class","oocnotes"]
[attr="class","tag"]
[break]
Mission[break]
— 4/5+ posts required[break]
— I wanted to feature Linus talking to Liadan but alas[break]
— Lavinia hogged the spotlight yet again[break]

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it's a long life full of long nights

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Hogwarts AU
RPG Unlimited
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N:FB
Vyrehaven
Celestial Guardians, AU Sailor Moon RP
EO GENESIS
Code and Crown: An advanced literate warriors cats RP, set in medieval times
Swords Clashing