MARCH UPDATE

POSTED ON Oct 23, 2018 3:40:50 GMT

for the first time, persephone feels she over-stepped. her spine curls into the back of the chair and it would be a lie to say that the shift in tone didn't affect her. she bit her lip quickly.

at least she finally got the mask to slip; his deluge of anger almost more telling than anything else.

lowering her head in something like an apology, she carefully placed her hand on his, as if testing the waters.

"i'm sorry, i didn't think about what i was saying," she lied in a halting tight voice, the tone of someone caught on the verge of tears.

she could tell him that she knows it's more than what he says it is; nikolai had told her his attacker mentioned her by name. but the very idea that it was something like pure misplaced jealousy stuck like tar to her throat pipe and she couldn't bring herself to entertain the notion without getting nauseous.

"when hasn't it been about what you want?" she didn't accuse him of taking whatever he wants with the unyielding of a conqueror, as always, the meaning was inferred between them.

her fingertips trace his knuckles, and she thinks about bone, about his fists.

FERNANDO SILPH

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silph

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twenty-nine

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POSTED ON Oct 23, 2018 4:11:00 GMT

he doesn't shy away from her touch. it's unnerving but he braves the storm. he cannot deny her, as much as she deserves his shunning, he cannot commit to it. not her.

but persephone will not yield. she will stop the attacks. her tone doesn't convey the intent but words find their way to stab at where fernando knows is his sore spot. he embraces it, planned, now a weaponized weakness used to retaliate. it's time for his own trump card. it causes him to sneer.

"since i saw him murdered, perse. since the moment i saw the life drain from his eyes. when i heard his regret. he gave me his blessings, to leave silph, to leave it all behind and pursue something he could never achieve."

his other hand reaches out, opening a particular case file.

"happiness."

it's a sprawl of business text and jargon, most of it sure to go straight over her head.

"so command me, perse."

the title is what catches her eye. the word 'succession plan' spells an alternative to this outcome. it can all end here.

"tell me to ignore the world. to let it burn. to let them pillage and to ignore the cries of the helpless. tell me that i'm no hero. that what i'm doing is useless. --tell me to leave it all just to elope with you."

for a man of power fernando seems uncharacteristically weak, unable to make a single stand against his current opponent.

"i will throw away the world for you. just say the word."

he bows his head to the only person who holds such power.

the fate of hoenn lies in her hands. she truly is the final boss.

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perse

she / her

twenty-four

november 23

sootopolis

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lorekeeper / elite four

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my own blood pains me, the salt as much as the vein

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POSTED ON Oct 23, 2018 4:55:19 GMT

something felt wrong. persephone can taste a lie on the back of her throat, like swallowing a shard of sharp glass.

this wasn't him; weak and letting her command him like a dog.

only elysia had that power, not her.

she wants to see the report, the one about the attacks in saffron. she wants to see the identity of his father's killer, if he was present at all or if that too was a ruse. the timeline of it all covered in a haze. that is, assuming the pages held the truth at all and weren't fiction planned for this occasion.

did he know she would choose to not look at the file when she entered? she worked through it backwards, trying to guess what he was doing by adducing what she would in his situation.

she only had one method of controlling him, and she kept playing to it.

"stop it, fernando."

it made her sick; a creeping anxiety.

she can't say you've always loved yourself more than us, the accusations she's waited years to level at him, wallowing in her hurt now, felt like a death sentence.

"i won't make you happy, you know that too. i'm the cheap imitation" she never could be bitter about it, because it is the objective truth. "the only thing i ask for is for you to tell me everything as it actually is."

she knows he won't give that to her either.

FERNANDO SILPH

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silph

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POSTED ON Oct 23, 2018 5:23:36 GMT

"don't. you. dare."

it rattles him. he's shaking, so much so that he rises from his seat. the glower that comes from his face is one that reeks of distress. how can she be so heartless?

"you are you, persephone."

she won't believe him but he won't let it go unaddressed.

"don't make the same mistake i did. do not live in your parent's shadow."

he feels the roof of his mouth go dry. a single drop of sweat beads from his forehead. does he dare?

"you're precious to me persephone. denying me won't make it untrue. it just makes it hurt."

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perse

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POSTED ON Oct 23, 2018 6:36:23 GMT

she wants to scream at him to stop but is paralysed in a stunned silence.

"i can't outrun her. every time i look in a mirror, that's what i think."

it's no surprise, obvious even in the photographs of his desk. from the skin, the hair, the cheekbones, down to the pensive gaze.

was he scared? acting? what purpose did this farce serve? she swallows the knot in her throat.

"are you trying to hurt me?"

more accusatory, the defensive sword and shield.

it's the only thought that comes to mind, and thus the only words she could utter. he got her; pinned down. she showed him her hand and he went, of course, for the jugular.

FERNANDO SILPH

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silph

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POSTED ON Oct 23, 2018 7:08:49 GMT

"says you."

fernando bites back at her self depreciation. to herself, she is nothing. to him, she's his everything. if only she could realize it.

"why do you say that?"

how does he make her understand?

"why do you deny me?"

he's realized it a long time ago. he can't.

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perse

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POSTED ON Oct 23, 2018 11:18:17 GMT

she doesn't think she can fight him any more, it was opening wounds she thought she had forgotten about, managed to sew up and suppress.

"what do you want from me?" she repeated with a touch of urgent desperation now. she knows this conversation can't keep going because it's taking its toll on her.

persephone watches his anger blister and thinks about the answers to her question; her dead, her buried, her cast into the sea. or, in the alternative, a bitter bird in a gilded cage, suffocating as the bars close in.

she knows that one concession wouldn't be enough.

the former is preferable, but she feels too weak to admit it to him.

"i just can't make anything be the same as it was. back then."

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silph

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POSTED ON Oct 23, 2018 12:16:38 GMT

"it's not about what i want."

they repeat the same dance and end up with the same result. fernando leans back in his chair, allowing the touch of its leather to calm him in a way that perse cannot. it's cold against the nook of his neck, it feels lifeless. it brings him into an audible sigh. she'll never change and it tires him. almost want to make him give up.

"you don't need to. the past is the past, perse."

almost.

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perse

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november 23

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POSTED ON Oct 23, 2018 12:46:53 GMT

she stares at him blankly for several long moments. that same impasse between them; like a physical barrier between them and a conversation long overdue.

she smiles at his final comment almost gently, strained; of course it was easy for him to put it aside.

"remember what my mother used to say? you look to the future, i look to the past. it's not as easy for me."

the words don't come easily and are hard to articulate, getting stuck on her tongue.

FERNANDO SILPH

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silph

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POSTED ON Oct 24, 2018 23:11:00 GMT

"look."

he puts a trivial significance on her choice of diction. there's some truth there and he emphasizes it with repetition.

"look, perse. not dwell. not to become constrained."

their difference in ideology has always painted them as the different sides of a single coin. neither is wrong, nor do they bicker about it. but, in the same vein, they can never come to an agreement. they're just different. more now than ever.

"look to the past for answers, for patterns, to be self aware. your destiny is your own."

it's his turn to reach out, to trace the tip of his index finger against the back of her hand.

"enjoy it. not everyone has such a privilege."

he's certain she'll cry foul. it's a blatant hypocrisy coming from him yet he still dares to say it.

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perse

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twenty-four

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POSTED ON Oct 25, 2018 17:02:33 GMT

semantics.

she smiles at his touch automatically, an instinctive reaction that makes her jaw tighten. after several long moments, she turns her hand, palm-up, and curls his fingers in hers.

she won't contest his words because that's a fight she won't ever win. it's a game of chess; it has to be, and this was her only way of attacking him. if speaking doesn't work, then actions might.

"i know, and i'm sorry you have to bear witness to this conversation again."

he would know she's choosing to not engage the point, she's argued enough, purged it out of her system.

she coats her voice in saccharine.

"tell me about your version of the future, fernando."

FERNANDO SILPH

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silph

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twenty-nine

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POSTED ON Oct 26, 2018 8:10:45 GMT

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his eyes narrow. he knows the game. this is easy-- too easy. somethings afoot and he doesn't know what. still, he can't make his move. not without the appropriate opening. so he regresses, turning back in an attempt to reestablish his control.

"i don't know."

somewhat true, somewhat false. there's no way she'll believe him though. he looks too far into the future to leave it to uncertainty.

"but it'd be nice to go back to when things were simpler. when the world wasn't fraught with danger."

it's about now that fernando pulls away from her touch, eyes fixed on their picture together. this time he's staring at the one with only the two of them. that's what he has to work with, that's his future. little does he know how much it's going to be left in shambles.

"when we could go pick herbs and the only thing we had to worry about was whether it was poison ivy."

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perse

she / her

twenty-four

november 23

sootopolis

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my own blood pains me, the salt as much as the vein

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POSTED ON Oct 26, 2018 14:17:42 GMT

he's right, she doesn't believe him.

he's not one for melancholia, and exploiting one of their sweeter memories like this made her taste ash under her tongue, even moreso when he pulled back.

he's circling back, trying to reset the conversation.

but once again, she lets him, following his gaze to the photograph. she's beaming at him in it, and for some reason it hurt. another concession granted, it's how he operated. unyielding, subtle only when you're not as used to seeing him talk.

"i don't know what there is to do about it," she admitted carefully, tearing her eyes from the photograph to watch him again.

"everyone is saying something different. i feel so lost." a touch of bitter sadness in her smile. "nothing new in that."

FERNANDO SILPH

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silph

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twenty-nine

august 12th

saffron

oppressive

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POSTED ON Oct 26, 2018 22:48:05 GMT

"me neither." fernando has another ploy, another twirl of lies ready in waiting but he holds off. the precision that comes with leading the conversation requires for her to trigger his trap. he waits for the correct word, just the right phrase to prey on her personality. he knows it as well as she knows him. the only difference? fernando has a team that's ready to analysis her from an objective standpoint, catching things that his bias allows him to miss. can she say the same?

"what do you feel?" he avoids addressing the last part of her comment. he knows better than to gift her a linguistic counter.

persephone amavi

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perse

she / her

twenty-four

november 23

sootopolis

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lorekeeper / elite four

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my own blood pains me, the salt as much as the vein

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