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there is a saying he's heard before—a phrase that has travelled through time and distance, whispered into countless ears—that life is unpredictable, that it is in constant fluctuation. nick never truly understood that maxim until now, standing in a realm of crystals and monsters that defy explanation.[break][break]

maybe it is that uncertainty, that instability, that drives humans into obsession. after all, how can one resist chasing what they cannot predict or foresee?[break][break]

nick is abruptly shaken from his reverie by yuina's caution. he nods slowly, brow furrowed, eyes cutting to the shadows nestled amongst the vibrant minerals. as the low sound echoes in the distance, nick suddenly becomes hyperaware of how fragile their presence is. every instinct screams for him to retreat, to find a safe corner and hide until danger passes, but he forces himself to stay still. he had asked for this, after all—asked for the opportunity to seek out knowledge in a place that is teeming with untold stories and secrets.[break][break]

yuina's words only serve to emphasize the precariousness of their situation, and nick grimaces, some combination of disappointment and resignation twisting in his gut. he supposes he should've realized that they wouldn't exactly be safe, given that they're willingly venturing into the literal unknown, but somehow, seeing her confirmation of his suspicion laid out so plainly sends a chill through him.[break][break]

"well," nick sighs, attempting levity in vain. "it wouldn't be an adventure if we didn't have to worry about dying."[break][break]

with that, he tentatively steps further into the chamber, boots crunching gently against the brittle gemstone fragments.

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"yeah," nick says quietly, ducking his head slightly in acknowledgement. "used to watch documentaries, too. with my daughter. she... she loved them."[break][break]

but she is no longer here, and neither are those nights in their cramped living room, heads bent together over atlases and textbooks while his husband looked on with thinly veiled amusement. those memories hurt, sometimes more than his healing bones—they're echoes of a life he no longer has, a happiness he can't get back. nick draws in a shaky breath, feeling the grief press up against the inside of his ribcage.[break][break]

at the question of his rding habits, "yeah, of course," nick laughs, but it's a dry, humorless sound, devoid of any real mirth. "comes with the territory."[break][break]

nick glances sidelong at josh for a moment, studying the gym leader's face with a clinical sort of curiosity. it's clear that the older man cannot quite comprehend leading a existence focused solely on the immediate physical sensations of flight - the brush of feathers, the rush of wind, the heady scent of adrenaline and sweat mixed with the musky tang of warm plumage and leather.[break][break]

"been flying on birds since i was sixteen," nick continues, shifting slightly in the narrow cot, grimacing as his ribs twinge in protest. "wouldn't trade it for anything else."[break][break]

nick cuts off abruptly, blinking owlishly for a heartbeat before rolling his eyes upwards toward the ceiling tiles, as if seeking guidance or inspiration from the heavens. after several seconds spent marshaling his thoughts into coherent order, the ranger sighs gustily and starts over:[break][break]

"it isn't the same, though," he explains wearily, rubbing his temple with the heel of his palm as if attempting to ward off an impending headache. "it ain't about... the mechanics of flight or even the thrill of it anymore."

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for every mystery they uncover down here, five more crop up in their place, daring to be unraveled.[break][break]

nick isn't wholly naive—the world is vast and expansive and complicated and he's only ever known a small slice of it—but hearing yuina detail the origins of area zero is staggering.[break][break]

he takes a moment to process, watching omura plod ahead with earth-shaking steps. there's so much he still doesn't know about the world and pokémon and everything in between. it makes him feel small, inconsequential, a tiny blip in the timeline of existence. the sheer volume of new revelations constantly being unearthed is both thrilling and unsettling.[break][break]

and here he is, daring to add to that trove of discoveries by bringing his team along into the fray.[break][break]

nick shakes his head ruefully, amused and dismayed by his own audacity and naïveté.[break][break]

"yeah. i certainly... didn't think all of that through," he chuckles, though the sound lacks his usual warmth.[break][break]

nick doesn't realize he's stopped walking until yuina is several steps ahead of him. he hurries to catch up, ducking his head in sheepish apology.[break][break]

"sorry," he mutters, falling back into stride beside her. "got lost in thought."[break][break]

they descend deeper into the bowels of the earth, their footsteps echoing eerily against the rocks surrounding them, centos and omura leading the way steadily but cautiously. nick trails his fingertips along the wall, tracing the cool bumps of protruding crystals, marvelling at the colors bouncing from them as they reflect what little light seeps through from above.[break][break]

when they finally stop in a vast, crystalline chamber that sparkles like some vast alien fruit that has split to reveal jewels inside instead of pulp, nick is half-tempted to draw his pokemon just so they can see the glowing beauty in front of them too.[break][break]

"does this feel safe?" nick checks with yuina, turning slow circles to take everything in.

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nick finds himself nodding along in mute agreement, his brain still struggling to comprehend the gravity of their predicament. somehow, he's become entangled in a situation straight out of the books that used to populate his bedside table; stories of magic, danger, and mystery, where protagonists routinely found themselves thrown out of reality into realms of ancient power and secret history.[break][break]

but those were books. this is real life—or, at least, it had been before they stepped foot into this godsforsaken forest.[break][break]

he blinks as he registers morrighan's suggestion, and while normally he might protest the potential risk of sending a feathered friend into the unknown alone, right now it seems like the best option available. "all right," he concedes, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. "sounds like a plan."[break][break]

while morrighan speaks to calendula, nick slowly approaches the nearest tree marked with the symbol. curiosity burns within him, urging him to touch the carvings, to see if they give off any kind of energy, any kind of indication as to what the hell they got themselves into by stepping foot into this accursed forest.[break][break]

his gloved fingertips brush against the rough bark, and he almost recoils. there's a strange warmth emanating from the symbol, thrumming gently beneath his touch like a pulse. his eyes widen, but before he can pull away, there's a soft rustle from above.[break][break]

from the forest canopy, a bizarre object falls to the forest floor. it lands softly, caught by the underbrush before nick can get a proper look at it, and it takes all of his courage to reach forward and snatch it up.[break][break]

it's a mimikyu plush held by a piece of knotted rope.[break][break]

nick's brows furrow as he leans down to gather the plush into his palms. "...what the hell?"

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despite the weariness that continues to hang heavy on his bones from the battle with the mega beedrill, nick can't suppress a slight smirk as he hears of locke's grandiose company motto. rain. sleet. wormholes?[break][break]

"is that so?" he responds dryly, arching a brow. "well, as someone who has worked closely with the post office, i'll say you've certainly picked an interesting niche. i'll remember you if i ever need something delivered, though." nick folds his arms, leaning lightly against solomon in a familiar display of companionship.[break][break]

nick watches the exchange between de-de and pom-pom, finding himself smiling genuinely at the friendly show between the two pokemon. nick feels solomon shift beneath him and realizes belatedly he's neglecting to return the pokeball that pom-pom rolled towards solomon earlier. nick obligingly picks it up and extends it over to locke.[break][break]

"you need an escort outta this weird crop field?"

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"nothing," nick replies flatly, tonelessly, staring up at the ceiling as he speaks. it is a deflection, one born of reflex; nick does not want to reveal too much of himself to josh, afraid of the vulnerability that comes with true openness.[break][break]

but as he lays there, muscles tense and jaw clenched, nick realizes that perhaps... perhaps he is not being entirely fair. to either himself or to josh. and so, grudgingly, he amends his previous statement. "well."[break][break]

nick sighs, the sound heavy and weighted, as though it comes from someplace deep within him. "i like birds," he confesses softly, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards in a fond, reminiscent smile. "always have. they don't have to stay anywhere they don't want to. they're free."[break][break]

nick blinks slowly, lashes fanning across his cheekbones as he closes his eyes for a brief moment, picturing vast expanses of open sky, wheeling shapes of winged silhouettes against the blue. when he opens them again, he's staring back up at the drab hospital ceiling, and the reverie ends just as it begun.[break][break]

"when i was younger, i wanted to be an ornithologist," he admits, heart thrumming in time with his forgotten dreams. "travelling everywhere, studying different species, learning about their behaviors and habitats..."[break][break]

nick trails off, shaking his head ruefully. he is aware, dimly, that he has revealed more about himself in these past few minutes than he typically does in months - years, even. but, sitting in this hospital bed, stuck in a world he hasn't fallen into since many years prior, there is little else to do other than bare his heart and all of the innards associated.[break][break]

"but that didn't happen," nick finishes flatly, shrugging one shoulder beneath the sheets, his ribs aching with the movement. "life took me in a different direction."

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some part of nick feels guilty for dragging her down here.[break][break]

he can be strong-headed and stubborn. it's what his husband hated most about him, once upon a time. always said that he was firmer than a tauros when he really set his mind to something. while such a flaw can be difficult to parse in the moment, nick is both blessed and cursed with hindsight. he can't help but wonder if he's forced yuina into helping him when she really didn't want to.[break][break]

now, down here, the thought aches more than it should. though she's incredibly capable, far more capable than nick could ever hope to be, it has always been natural for him to harbor concern for his peers. it's the doctor in him, still rearing its ugly head after all these years, first in the operation room where surgeons struggled to piece his arm and ribs back together, and now many miles beneath the earth, hoping to keep someone much stronger than him safe from harm.[break][break]

though these thoughts may show in his expression, in the way his eyes trace her face in search of anything that might suggest wariness or exasperation, they are not voiced. it is better to let sleeping dogs lie.[break][break]

instead, he focuses on the task ahead of them, embarked on first by a strange creature nick has never seen before. even despite the worry roiling deep in his chest, nick forces confidence into his voice.[break][break]

"don't worry," he says in the tone of a man desperately trying to keep himself together as much as he's trying to reassure her. "i won't wander."[break][break]

and they're off, setting a careful pace through the wide, open caverns. with gravel crunching beneath their feet, nick takes this chance to ask a question that yet nags him—something yuina must be familiar with by now, given how often nick seems to be asking questions these days.[break][break]

"what other things are you talking about?"

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area zero is a chasm unlike anything nick has ever seen before.[break][break]

he's been spelunking before. he would be remiss to say he hasn't. it seems like every other day, there's another civilian lost in the winding chasms and tunnels, disoriented by the darkness, by terrain carved by thousands of centuries of geological activity. these caves, mostly, are tight and compact, incapable of anything bigger by virtue of earth's entire landmass pressing down atop them. they press in on all sides, almost like a womb, nurturing and caring, beckoning you deeper into the depths of humanity's birthplace.[break][break]

but this land is open and bright and crystalline and beckoning, urging him deeper within with a siren's call of adventure and treasure. it is untrustworthy. it is dangerous. it is beautiful.[break][break]

the air grows cold and damp, and the walls, streaked with glittering crystal deposits, glisten with moisture in the dim light. though the world below should be, by all means, pitch black, the crystals jutting from the walls in stalactite-esque formations hold a power within that washes the yawning cave system in a fickle, dull glow. area zero is so bathed in kaleidoscopic patterns, nick incorrectly assumes that his eyes are acting up on him. he removes the spectacles from his face, cleans the lenses with his bright orange puffer jacket, and then replaces them atop his nose, only to find that his environs remain unchanged.[break][break]

"wow," nick breathes, his voice echoing softly amongst the towering formations. "this is... incredible."

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time is a funny thing, nick muses, as he watches ronan trudge back into the waves, tail dragging in the sand. it seems to stretch and contract at will, bending to accommodate joy and sorrow alike.[break][break]

the first time nick stood vigil over his daughter as she slept in her crib, time stood still. now, years later, it seems to race by faster than he can blink, each day bleeding into the next until he can hardly tell one from the other anymore.[break][break]

it's a feeling nick knows well, a sense of moments slipping through his fingers like sand. he wonders, sometimes, what it would be like to live life at a different pace—to linger in happiness a little longer, to rush headlong into adventure, to savor each sunset as if it were his last.[break][break]

maybe, just maybe, he thinks, as he watches alina release another tirtouga into the sea, he's getting that chance.[break][break]

he helps her shepherd the rest of the hatchlings to the water's edge, their small forms slipping easily beneath the waves. it feels good, working in tandem with someone else, a shared sense of purpose and camaraderie that fills the spaces between them with something warm and golden.[break][break]

by the time the last tirtouga has vanished into the sunset-tinted waters, the sun is dipping low on the horizon. colors paint the sky in hues of pink and orange, reflecting off the waves like fire. wingulls cry out overhead, a mournful sound, shrill and seeking.[break][break]

"that's the last of them," nick says, brushing sand from his gloves. "a job well done."

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his flashlight flickers, flickers, flickers, then refuses to go on. the last dying embers of light in the forest fade into nothing, and sends his heart into a dark, staccato rhythm.[break][break]

he's no fool. he's seen countless horror movies in his heyday, and while he can't lie and say he was particularly brave about any of them, he's at least familiar with the tropes. the flickering and subsequent dying of a flashlight, their only lifeline to the real world, signifies a severing of their connection to reality. it may as well be as obvious as literally crossing a threshold. they are no longer wandering their own world.[break][break]

morrighan solidifies this inkling with her observation. at her beck and call, nick draws closer to a nearby trunk, his eyes tracing the markings carved into the bark therein. though the darkness warps and bends the symbol before his very eyes, they strike a chord. indeed, it is the same symbol nick had first observed on the edge of the forest.[break][break]

"maybe," nick assents, voice tight. "i don't know."[break][break]

he straightens, stomach roiling, as he enters the denial stage of grief. perhaps the markings are repeated throughout the forest. perhaps one marking can mean multiple things. certainly, they couldn't be lost in a timeless wood, cursed to forever wander its spiderwebbed groves and meadows.[break][break]

he reaches for his walkie-talkie again, hoping against hope that he'll be able to get through to ranger headquarters. but as static crackles through the speakers, followed by a low, ominous hum, he realizes with a sinking heart that they are truly alone out here.[break][break]

"damn it," he mutters, stuffing the device back into his pocket. "looks like we're gonna have to figure this one out on our own."

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"fortune had nothing to do with it," nick mutters, his voice low, almost sulky, as he responds to josh's initial statement. he turns his head just slightly on the pillow, enough to peer at josh out of the corner of his eye, expression sour, as though he tastes something unpleasant. "i fought like hell to make it back here. fortune didn't save me. hard work and stubbornness did."[break][break]

nick listens with growing dismay and horror as josh speaks, describing gavin merlino and the lugia that fights by his side. soulless beings, josh calls them, and nick understands what he means, can picture it clearly in his mind's eye from his own experiences - the emptiness in their eyes, the absence of warmth or compassion, replaced instead with a cold determination that borders on zealotry. unbeknownst to both men, they are envisioning entirely different people—josh sees gavin merlino, nick sees barnaby finch. the similarities between the two are broad enough to render this misunderstanding nigh invisible.[break][break]

a chill runs down nick's spine, and he shivers slightly, pulling the blanket higher up around his shoulders as though seeking protection from the mere memory of that darkness. immortal and invincible, josh claims—and nick believes it. he has seen firsthand the devastation that such beings can cause, has felt the reality-warping power that surges forth from them.[break][break]

"then there's no hope," he breathes, his voice barely audible over the hum of the machines keeping vigil around him. "if they're immort—"[break][break]

nick cuts off abruptly, seeming to remember himself, his shoulders tensing beneath the sheet as he shakes his head once, sharply.[break][break]

"no," he states firmly, sounding more like himself again, like the ranger determined to protect the innocent despite the odds stacked against him. "there's always hope."[break][break]

nick falls silent then, chewing on his lower lip as he contemplates josh's words regarding the potential length of his recovery. six months, the gym leader suggests – but even so, nick takes some small comfort in knowing that even with that long a timeline, a full recovery is still possible. after so many years of holding a scalpel, though, it feels disconcerting to be the patient beneath the knife.[break][break]

nick turns his head more fully toward josh, his eyes searching the older man's face for answers. "how did you cope with it all?" he asks quietly, vulnerably. "how did you make it through the worst of it?"

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a polite, albeit tired chuckle escapes nick's lips as he listens to locke's profuse gratitude. he reassures the young trainer with a soft pat on the shoulder, trying to ease the nerves the kid so clearly exhibits.[break][break]

"no debt incurred. it's what rangers do," he explains with a shrug of his shoulders. "my name's nick. and you?"[break][break]

nick takes note of the pokemon returning to her trainer, the assorted pokeballs and letters she salvaged from wherever she had found them. obviously, this trainer is trustworthy enough to have his pokemon's loyalty, especially in dire situations. that counts for something.[break][break]

he tilts his head and poses a question towards the other trainer. "that's a lotta letters you got there," nick observes with a shift of his stance. "are you delivering them?"

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nick falls quiet at yuina's revelation, struck by a truth he's been tiptoeing around for a very long time. in the face of her sincere concern, he finds he cannot deny the severity of his position, nor the risks he's subjected his pokemon to without even realizing it. the admission settles heavily atop the regret nick already harbors, a weight he struggles to bear as he contemplates the dangers of the region.[break][break]

it's true—they have already been exposed to countless threats and perils, situations he can never rescind nor protect them from. nick knows his team trusts him implicitly, can see that trust shining back at him whenever he catches their watchful gazes. but yuina's words stir up fears and doubts within him, whispers of what-could-have-beens that gnaw at the edges of his consciousness.[break][break]

"you're right," nick breathes, the words feeling like a betrayal of solomon's loyalty, of claire's devotion. "i... i don't mean to take advantage of their trust, and i never will."[break][break]

nick takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as he visualizes his beloved friends in the dim recesses of his mind. he imagines solomon's fierce pride, niamh's stubborn loyalty, leonius's calm reserve, and claire's bright tenacity. each one of them carries pieces of his fractured heart, and he knows he cannot afford to break theirs—not when they give him so much without ever expecting anything in return.[break][break]

he opens his eyes, steeling his nerve as he meets yuina's steady gaze.[break][break]

"finding tera crystals is definitely a risk," nick agrees, his voice roughened by conflicting emotions. "but if it gives my team a fighting chance... i'd like to find some. i trust your judgment, and... and i don't want to take any unnecessary chances."[break][break]

he swallows nervously, his palms beginning to sweat within his gloves as he thinks of the trials ahead.[break][break]

"will you help me?"

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