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yuina's words are like a salve on an open wound, nick absorbing them with a quiet intensity that speaks volumes about his need for connection. the corners of his eyes crinkle as he studies her face, as he takes in the earnest worry etched there, the anxiety of past and future mistakes. he recognizes these, too; nick has worn them both many times before.[break][break]

he understands her fear, the potential of what harm she could inflict upon him in the future. he knows too intimately the consequences of broken trust, of the pain that lingers long after the inflicting wound has closed. but he also knows that living in fear of the unknown will only strangle any chance of happiness, any chance of a future that isn't swallowed by dread.[break][break]

nick takes a deep breath, his gaze drifting towards the horizon as he grapples with his own thoughts, his own demons. the sky is a canvas of red and orange, burning bright like the embers of a fire, like a memory of passion long since snuffed out.[break][break]

but there, in the middle of it all, is a star. small, barely visible, but shining just the same. nick remembers when he looked up at the night sky and saw potential, saw hope. it's been a long time since those memories were anything more than echoes, but there's a warmth in his chest that tells him they could be again.[break][break]

"i'm aware of that risk, yuina," nick breathes finally, his eyes returning to her gaze with a softness in them that wasn't there before. "but... i'd like to trust you anyway."[break][break]

nick extends his hand towards her, palm upwards and open. it's an offering, a silent pledge of faith.[break][break]

"if you're willing to help me, i'd be honored to accept."

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yuina's answer resonates with a twinge of sorrow within nick. the earnest, urgent tone in her voice reflects feelings of guilt and remorse, a painful mirror into emotions he is all-too-familiar with. he recognizes her expression of shame, can see the cracks in her resolve, like a thin sheet of ice stretched too thin. he wonders what lies she speaks of, wonders what she has done that she believes she hasn't earned his trust.[break][break]

but nick knows guilt and self-recrimination, knows the weight of a past that threatens to drag one into dark depths. he doesn't want her to feel like this, doesn't want to be the one responsible for pushing her away until she cracks.[break][break]

"we're all full of lies, yuina," nick replies softly, his eyes never leaving her downturned gaze. he knows she isn't looking at him, but he speaks with unwavering sincerity anyway.[break][break]

"we all have secrets we don't tell, parts of ourselves we don't show to others," he continues, hoping the raw vulnerability in his voice reaches her. "it doesn't make us any less deserving of trust."[break][break]

nick takes a shaky breath, finding solace in the quiet of the evening around them. a breeze rustles through the nearby trees, a comforting sound amidst the tension.[break][break]

"i understand if you can't help me," he murmurs eventually, his voice strained with his effort to remain composed. "but please, don't push me away because you think i shouldn't trust you. my trust is my own to give."

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yuina's reply is a bitter pill to swallow, leaving nick with a sense of desolation that he cannot quite shake. of course he wants to believe her—nick has no reason not to trust that she truly wants to help him, in her own way. yet, her words leave him cold, as if a warmth has been stolen from within him.[break][break]

he doesn't want to see other trainers or rangers, not because he doubts their capability, but because he knows he can trust yuina. she has helped him understand a previously elusive phenomenon, and she possesses a remarkably level head. even with her distance and apprehension, nick feels as though he can relate to her on some deeper level. when she speaks, her sincerity resonates with him, and her understanding goes beyond the surface level.[break][break]

but perhaps nick is selfish, too attached to someone he hardly knows. perhaps he is simply too stubborn to let go, but the thought of going to someone else feels alienating and intimidating. and why does he trust her? is it simply because of the help she's already provided, or is it something else?[break][break]

he doesn't know the answers to those questions, but he knows he doesn't want to lose this opportunity to learn from her, to get stronger through her guidance. so instead of conceding to her promise of finding better help, nick shifts his shoulders, his gaze never leaving hers.[break][break]

"i know you're busy," he tells her honestly, his voice quiet but firm. "i don't want to waste your time."[break][break]

his fingers fidget slightly at his sides as he finds the words to better express himself. "but you've helped me before, and... i trust you," he admits, vulnerability bleeding into his voice. "please, help me become stronger. it doesn't have to be now—i understand if you can't. just... at least consider it."

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if nothing else, nick appreciates yuina's punctuality. there were so many opportunities for her to not arrive at all—perhaps she had been delayed at work, or maybe she had chosen not to come at all. nick wouldn't have blamed her for that second one. despite what he had written in his letter, he doesn't feel comfortable asking her for help. he doesn't want to trouble her more than he already has, with all of his questions.[break][break]

yet here she is, stepping onto the path with the setting sun at her back and casting her shadow long onto the ground. it's interesting to watch—on one hand, seeing yuina in person feels like a reunion of sorts, nick's heart lifting with something akin to relief to see a familiar face. on the other, there is a pressing sensation in his chest that he recognizes from many other moments in his life: nervousness for what is to come, uncertainty for her reaction. maybe he has no right to ask yuina for her time, but there is nothing for it now.[break][break]

"it's alright," nick answers, shaking his head with a small smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "i wasn't waiting long." he takes a deep breath then, rolling his shoulders back as he tries to stand just a little bit taller. despite everything, he knows that if he wants to change, he must be bold.[break][break]

his hand gently holds his side. "i almost died recently," he admits finally, meeting yuina's eyes. "i was really close. dumb luck is the only thing that saved me."[break][break]

he pauses to collect his thoughts and wits even despite the shaky quality of his breath, then continues. how odd it feels to plead for life after having accepted death as an inevitability.[break][break]

"i don't want that to happen again. that's why i wanted to meet you. i saw you were experienced and accomplished—if it's not too much to ask, i wanted to see if you would help me."

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the mighty mega beedrill whirs loudly as its venom tip is lodged in the straw-stuffed scarecrow, and nick reacts quickly. a plan forms within nick's racing mind, and he hopes that this'll give him enough time to go ahead with it.[break][break]

"solomon, air slash!"[break][break]

as solomon the braviary unfurls his wings wide, he sends a gust of wind carrying razor-sharp blades aimed at the mega beedrill. the air slashes whip against the creature's body with tremendous force, sending it careening back, freeing the scarecrow, which had kept locke and his delibird safe. nick does not know why he had been given the gift of pokemon, but he silently thanks whoever or whatever that he has one such as solomon.[break][break]

while the beedrill is momentarily weakened, nick swoops down in an agile dive and lands gracefully just a short distance from locke. he approaches the disheveled trainer with a swift gait, having to adjust the glasses perched on his face in an effort to truly make out this man who appeared out of nowhere, who was luckily spared.[break][break]

"i'd like to assist you," nick says in a tone that is meant to be comforting, yet cannot hide the urgency embedded within, a response to the monster buzzing somewhere nearby, getting ready to strike once again. "are you alright?"

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it is not often that nick finds himself feeling grateful for the antiseptic sting of bleach in the air. but as he lays in bed with white, sterile sheets tucked around him, nick cannot help but notice the feeling. he gazes out the window at the glinting skyscrapers of slateport, eyes tracing lines between the shadows.[break][break]

of all the places for him to rest after his near-death experience, it had to be here — the epitome of urban landscape. where once team rocket had haunted him with the darkest chapter of his past, now their present chapter brings him close to arceus. his head throbs under bandages that stand out stark against his dark hair.[break][break]

it had been a crushing, not a stabbing; nonetheless, the doctors seem to worry about the fate of his left arm. it pulses with a hot, red pain that feels foreign and invasive, but whether or not nick could lose his use in it... it doesn't feel real to him. this is not his life.[break][break]

nick would rather be on the job, and he expresses this to anyone who listens - nurses, doctors, visitors alike. but the truth is he is helpless as can be in the state he's in; one more day, the doctor says.[break][break]

and so nick is still, just as he was when the shadow had consumed him, crushing him under the weight of darkness he could never understand. he wishes the window could be opened, so he could feel some semblance of the wilderness he is so tethered to in his heart and soul.[break][break]

but for now... he gazes upward at the ceiling and waits.

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he letter nick sent to yuina felt heavy, and not only because of the thick paper. it's barely been a month since they met against the backdrop of the noble beasts, barely two weeks since his near fatal run-in with team rocket. with such vivid memories come intense emotions—mostly embarrassment, at his weakness and fear, but also gratitude, towards yuina, who he's come to see as a sharp and capable young woman.[break][break]

and now, he needs her again—or, at least, he believes he does. it's strange, wanting to become stronger, when his entire world for the past five years has been running from the violence of his past. becoming stronger, after all, often means being exposed to even more potential conflict and hardship in the end. but the bruises from his fight with BARNABY FINCH throb quietly under his clothes, reminding him of the stakes if he does not improve. he spent his entire past life trying to bring people back from death, trying to save them from the inevitable. perhaps it's time he learns how to prevent them from getting to the brink of death in the first place.[break][break]

the verdanturf township is buzzing with life behind him, the quiet murmur of voices indistinct but present. the sun begins to dip low over the trees, casting the road in a golden haze; soon, night will fall, and nick's nerves will be unable to stand much more waiting in the dark. it doesn't help that his ribs still ache from barnaby, and the bruises the man left still darken his skin in patches of violets and deep blues. but that isn't why he's here. he won't allow himself to wallow again.[break][break]

instead, nick schools his features into quiet composure, taking a deep breath as he searches the horizon for the ranger captain.

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the air currents up here are cold, biting. the sky stretches for miles, blue and wide open; endless. there's a unique sort of thrill that fills nicholas steele as he flies, the feeling of his hair being swept around his face, the air billowing around him almost like water. the wingbeat of braviary's vast wings, the chill of the wind, the ability to breathe, the adrenaline, are all components of a singular moment that makes it all worthwhile.[break][break]

nick is flying over the amber, undulating expanse of the local crop fields. the hoenn region has been experiencing phenomena that he has yet to encounter in his years of service as ranger. strange occurrences—unexpected mega evolution, inexplicable crop circles, wild pokemon appearing where they are not supposed to be—have caught his attention, so he has taken to the sky for a fresh view on the matter. his intuition tells him that if these occurrences are indeed related, they might reveal themselves to him from up above.[break][break]

solomon the braviary joins him as they survey the landscape below. their keen gazes spot something very alarming - a trainer is running across the field, pursued by a massive creature, much larger than a normal beedrill, a mega beedrill. it looks enraged, as if the venom in its stinger is practically boiling with fury, eyes red and burning like rubies.[break][break]

that cannot possibly be good.[break][break]

nick is quick to swoop down. better get the scoop on this.

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it's always strange, for nick, watching others interact with pokémon. it's something he tries not to think about too hard, but sometimes it slips through his guard - the sheer disbelief that other people can touch and hold pokémon without feeling like they're committing some sort of sacrilege. that they can touch the untamed, wild thing and not feel it thrumming through their very bones.[break][break]

but he supposes that's naught more than his own self-importance talking.[break][break]

the water's edge laps gently at their ankles, a soft, soothing sound in the steadily darkening evening. nick kneels to place another turtle in the waves, his orange glove a stark contrast against the dull cream of sand. as the pokémon disappears into the surf, nick straightens, gaze falling to his feet. he watches as the sea rushes in, burying his boots in sand, only to tug it away again with the next swell.[break][break]

he thinks, suddenly, inexplicably, of his past. he's not certain why. perhaps it's something in the way she holds herself - tentative, nervous, but with a careful warmth that makes him think she would be good at handling people if she let herself.[break][break]

or perhaps he's just growing old, and the memories are getting restless. growing sharp edges that dig into his brain and won't let go. either way, he takes a long breath, weighing his words with care.[break][break]

"bravery isn't about the lack of fear," he says eventually, each word measured and precise. he doesn't lift his head. "it's about not letting it rule you."[break][break]

a pause, the silence swelling around them as the only other sound - the distant song of an unseen pokémon choir - weaves through the air. "and about knowing when it's worthwhile to be afraid."[break][break]

his eyes close, just for a moment, and in that space of time, it's as if he's not a man standing on the beach, but a bird flying through the storm clouds. only for a moment - then his boots are wet again, his hands empty, and it's time to move on to the next tirtouga.[break][break]

he does so quietly, the weight of the conversation settling between them like mist.

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there is a moment where nick doesn't know how to respond.[break][break]

he is still watching her pokemon, watching life return to the earth in real time, slow and agonizing and painfully beautiful. it's hypnotic, in a way, an island of vibrant green amidst a sea of destruction, and he can't help but feel drawn to it regardless. there is life, still. there is goodness in the world, still, even when things seem darkest.[break][break]

god, how he wishes he knew where to find it.[break][break]

he is silent for a long moment, breaths coming slow and even, almost meditative. he can feel his heartbeat in his chest, feel the way it thrums against his ribcage like the beating of a hummingbird's wings, desperate and fragile and alive, alive, alive. he feels pinned in place, unable to look away from the new growth, unable to speak, unable to even breathe.[break][break]

it's her voice that breaks him out of his reverie, soft and quiet and yet somehow still filled with conviction. he turns to face her, watches as she speaks to her pokemon, watches the way they respond to her. the way they love her.[break][break]

it hurts to see, almost. it's been years since he's had that kind of bond with anyone, human or pokemon. no one has looked at him like that since... since...[break][break]

he pushes the thought away before it can take root, focusing instead on the woman before him. "blossom delier," he repeats, voice still quiet, still even. he offers her a small smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes, doesn't quite chase away the shadows that linger there. "it's nice to meet you. though i wish it were under... better circumstances."[break][break]

he gestures to the burnt forest around them, to the smoke rising in the distance, and something flickers in his eyes, dark and distant and full of regret. "are you ready? this isn't an easy assignment. this isn't an easy war. you're young, and... it's okay to be scared."

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102 is a strange place, these days. no longer the bustling path it once was, but a warzone, scorched earth underfoot. there's a silence in the air, anticipation simmering in the bones of the earth, sun casting a blood-red glow over the upturned soil. or perhaps that's just the remains of a once grand tree, collapsed in on itself, scattered across the dirt. sometimes, it's hard to tell.[break][break]

it's even harder when he can hear the distant rumble of explosions, echoing in his bones. rocket, likely, tearing down the heart of petalburg once again. he can't help but feel a sick sort of anger curl in his gut at the idea that they're the reason he has no home, the reason he can't find respite. not that he deserves it.[break][break]

nick breathes in shakily, and steps forward regardless, boots hitting the dry earth with a surprising lack of sound. he can still feel the way his heart throbs in his chest, feel the thin sheen of sweat beginning to prickle at the back of his neck despite the chilling air. he can feel his body's innate desire to flee, to take off, to run and never look back.[break][break]

he ignores it. after all, that's what he's here for. that's what he always does. pushing forward, helping where he can, even if nobody really wants him around. the rangers certainly don't, in this war. he's only here because he was once one of team rocket, because he knows their movement patterns, knows how to spot a disturbance in the dirt. he isn't trusted, just useful, and that's the most he can ask for. at least, that's his view of it.[break][break]

so, he does as he's told, setting up for observation on the edge of route 102, and settles into his work, gaze flickering across every curve and divot and disturbance. though his thoughts and feelings may be tumultuous and terrible, roiling like a stormy sea, his surface remains placid, still, unyielding. in the end, he is still a ranger. he will do his duty, and he will do it well.[break][break]

and, eventually, someone else arrives. a rookie, he assumes, from the way they carry themselves. nick doesn't blame them, doesn't even turn to look at them. instead, he simply nods, acknowledging their presence with a quick duck of his chin. he doesn't know what to say, isn't even sure if he's capable of words right now.[break][break]

"nicholas steele," he says finally, voice quiet and even despite the choking humidity, aching breeze, the terrible breeze of smoke rising from petalburg. he speaks as though they are not sitting on the edge of the abyss. "...are you the one they assigned here too?"

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nick listens with interest as josh discusses his team, his pride in his pokemon evident. it's a sentiment he understands all too well, the bond between trainer and pokemon running deep. but there's also a tinge of envy there, a longing for the days when his own team was whole, when he had a place in the world.[break][break]

"that's... impressive," he says, his voice tinged with admiration. "you've clearly put a lot of work into building that team. i'm sure they're grateful for your leadership."[break][break]

as they fly on, nick spots a pidgey fluttering nearby, its wings a blur as it darts through the air. on impulse, he reaches for a pokeball, his fingers curling around the cool metal. birds always sing to his heart, and the urge to add to his team is strong.[break][break]

"leonius, let's see if we can get that pidgey over there," he murmurs, guiding his altaria closer. the pokemon nods, a determined glint in his eye as he zeroes in on the tiny bird. as before, SING rings out once more, and the other bird's eyes begin to droop.[break][break]

with a well-aimed throw, nick sends the pokeball flying, the capsule striking the pidgey with a satisfying click. the bird disappears in a flash of light, the ball falling towards the ground below.

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