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long black tulips, born in your blue tints. lemongrass eyelids, smoke in your slick lips.

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TAG WITH @fern

POSTED ON May 2, 2023 2:05:41 GMT

THEO BECKETT likes this

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[attr="class","star2"] Once they’re out of the interdream zone, out of the deep sea, Fern loses track of time.

They lose track of where they are, who they’re with. THEO BECKETT coming to his aid to basically drag him out of harm’s way feels like a far distant memory. With the blood lost and the shock to numb it all fading away, there’s nothing but pain.[break][break]

The sort to make their stomach heave. Their vision blur and spin.

They want to ask for jayden cross . Want to know where he is. Maybe they do manage. But it feels like they’ve lost control of their tongue. Their head feels uneven. Like one side is waterlogged.[break][break]

In a weird way, it probably is from all the blood.[break][break]

They don’t remember where they are when they finally collapse. All that remaining energy spent trying to trek through mist and nightmares. Bright light bursts behind their eyes, then it fades to staticky nothingness.[break][break]

There is no recollection of being transported away. Of being rolled through the medbay in Sootopolis. Of being hooked up to machines and monitors as the doctor on duty tries to clean up the mess made of their ear. Set the break in their nose, and knit the hole through their palm.[break][break]

Fern doesn’t even dream while they’re unconscious. All that remains is quiet, inky blackness. Then slowly, the ringing in their ear, and the thud of their temples. The brightness of dimmed white hospital lights. Blurry vision.[break][break]

And the clutch of panic when they realize this isn’t their home, or their bed. And that they don’t know where they are.

[break][break]

jayden cross // m: post-postdorm [break]

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milky

jayden

he/him

december 25

ballonlea, galar

bisexual

wyndon ceo

admin

5'10" height

we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

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TAG WITH @jayden

POSTED ON May 2, 2023 14:58:11 GMT

mint frost likes this

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[attr="class","jaytop"] ♀ lada the umbreon ✨ / synchronize / throat chop, confuse ray, assurance, moonlight, psychic, feint attack

♂ vahagn the dragapult ✨ / dragon, ghost / ability infiltrator / lock-on, agility, phantom force, infestation, sucker punch, dragon darts / ⚔️👻

♂ hesus the umbreon / inner focus / snarl, bite, guard swap, dark pulse, screech, double-edge

[attr="class","littlejay"]

he hears it second-hand.

[break][break] it doesn't matter what rank. doesn't matter if it's from mint frost, Felix Gallagher or even THEO BECKETT. the minute he hears it, jayden drops everything he's doing and sprints towards where they're being held.

[break][break] panic rises high in his chest, reminded of the feeling that he had felt after meteno. fern was fine. they had to be fine. he had to be okay. they were an admin; of course they could handle themself. they would have told him if it was anything serious. they would have known to use words that were gentler, kinder — they would've —

[break][break] he should've.

[break][break] once the panic arrives, the guilt settles in soon after. like a heavy fog, it clouded his mind and heart, leaving behind a hollow ache that refused to dissipate.

[break][break] jayden should've been there. he shouldn't have left. not for Felix Gallagher, not for Remiel Calcifet. he should've been there. jayden had arrived in time for Ashley Shepard, but would he arrive in time for fern delaney? the person who - in the entire world - mattered the most to him?

[break][break][break][break]

the rocket admin has been sitting by their bedside the second they get out of surgery. it's obvious to anyone that he has barely eat or slept, that the only thing keeping him going at the moment is the thousands of reports that sit on his laptop right not, as he scrolls through them.

[break][break] vahagn takes up space in the sky, circling overhead with ceci.

[break][break] lada and hesus are curled at his feet, two umbreon watching any passerbys with a protective gleam just in case they disrupt either their trainer or his intended. a grunt or two seems to hesitate walking towards them, reports crumpled in their grip, but decide instead to hand it over to a different member of the upper brass —

[break][break] as nonchalant and approachable as jayden usually is, the thick swath of emotion resonating in waves off of the admin is not one that they want to deal with. not now, and maybe not ever.

[break][break] when they clutch at the bedside, however, jayden starts with alarm. immediately, he closes his laptop and shoves it onto a nearby table, and reaches for them.

[break][break] a warm hand closes over theirs.

[break][break] "fern? fern? you're okay. i'm here."

[attr="class","ooc"] fern delaney [break]
post postdorm

☉

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played by

lou

harper beck

they/he

twenty-eight

august 11

stow-on-side, galar

pansexual

forger

rocket admin

6'0 (it's 5'8) height

long black tulips, born in your blue tints. lemongrass eyelids, smoke in your slick lips.

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967 posts

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part of

TAG WITH @fern

POSTED ON May 9, 2023 2:54:35 GMT

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[attr="class","star2"] Part of Fern is still in the ultra deep sea. It’s where they collapse, so it’s naturally where they think they come to. There’s no sense for how long they’ve been out, or who might be diligently waiting for them to wake up. All they know is that they were in danger and they were in pain, and they can’t stay in this weird room with its fluorescent lights and white-washed walls.[break][break]

"fern? fern? you're okay. i'm here."[break][break]

The voice floats through their immediate panic, causing their head to jerk in his direction. But it’s muffled. Like their ears are plugged, or they’re underwater. Chest heaving and brain fuzzy, they process the voice, and the face looking back at them. They know who it is, but fear is a powerful thing to awaken immediately drenched in.[break][break]

They see him, but they don’t really see him.[break][break]

“Too hot. Where am I? Need to get out of..here..”[break][break] they mutter, as they look around wild eyed and frantic.[break][break]

Heat prickles under their skin. As Fern stares at him, they feel…imbalanced. Off in some capacity. Their hands lift, and try to claw at the monitor cords they’re hooked to. The IV drip. The swath of bandages covering their damaged hand, the side of their head.[break][break]

It’s only when they look down to see their bandaged hand preoccupied by his that something clicks in Fern’s head. He’s found them, after all. “Mischa? I feel wrong.”
[break][break]

jayden cross // m: post-postdorm [break]

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played by

milky

jayden

he/him

december 25

ballonlea, galar

bisexual

wyndon ceo

admin

5'10" height

we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

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TAG WITH @jayden

POSTED ON Jul 12, 2023 15:39:03 GMT

MATIAS SILPH likes this

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[attr="class","jaytop"] ♀ lada the umbreon ✨ / synchronize / throat chop, confuse ray, assurance, moonlight, psychic, feint attack

[attr="class","littlejay"]

his heart was a gaping whole in his chest as he stared at them, hands closed around theirs. they had to be okay. they had to. the doctors said that the procedure had went well, that they expected a near full recovery, and yet —

[break][break] "you're here in the hospital in sootopolis. we brought you here after —"

[break][break] a brief, fierce HATRED burns in his eyes at the thought of MATIAS SILPH.

[break][break] "after your fight with MATIAS SILPH."

[break][break] his hands are swift to enclose their wrists as they reach for the tangled cords around them. in attempt to calm them, jayden brings their hands to his chest, his lips twitched into a frown.

[break][break] "wrong? what do you mean?" concern flickers. "are you hurt? should i - do you need the nurse?"

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] fern delaney [break]
post postdorm

☉

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played by

lou

harper beck

they/he

twenty-eight

august 11

stow-on-side, galar

pansexual

forger

rocket admin

6'0 (it's 5'8) height

long black tulips, born in your blue tints. lemongrass eyelids, smoke in your slick lips.

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TAG WITH @fern

POSTED ON Jul 21, 2023 4:17:23 GMT

jayden cross and THEO BECKETT like this

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[attr="class","star2"] Matias’ name makes the ghost of a snarl curl at the corners of their mouth. They don’t remember much of what happened after that fight. A foggy memory of THEO BECKETT finding them. Somehow managing to get them back to a base. It’s all patchy, though. Like a dream.[break][break]

The fight, though. That is something that remains vivid in their mind.[break][break]

It’s only when Jayden’s hands cover theirs that Fern stills–the panicked fight flickering out of them before they sag back against the bed. Calm washes through them at the presence of his touch. It’s likely the only thing that will soothe them. Their head meets the pillow, but they still shake their head rapidly.[break][break]

“No, no. I don’t want that. I just–”[break][break]

Their pain is muted from no doubt the whole slew of medications working their way through Fern’s system. It makes it difficult to hold their eyes open. They free one hand and they raise it to the injured side of their head where bandages hold the injury in place.[break][break]

There’s still a ringing there, dull and buzzing, between their ears. And it’s then that it registers that Jayden’s words are muffled and difficult to understand unless they turn their head the right way.[break][break]

“I can’t..” They don’t want to say it out loud, because that makes it more obvious, more real.

[break][break]

jayden cross // m: post-postdorm [break]

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milky

jayden

he/him

december 25

ballonlea, galar

bisexual

wyndon ceo

admin

5'10" height

we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

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TAG WITH @jayden

POSTED ON Jul 23, 2023 18:12:31 GMT

MATIAS SILPH likes this

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[attr="class","jaytop"] ♀ lada the umbreon ✨ / synchronize / throat chop, confuse ray, assurance, moonlight, psychic, feint attack

[attr="class","littlejay"]

something like comfort trickles in when he watches his touch send a ripple of comfort through his partner, but it is muted in comparison to the overwhelming concern that he feels for the other. a hand tightens around theirs, fingers tied together.

[break][break] jayden's eyes soften, reaching down to brush their bangs away from their sweaty forehead.

[break][break] they're talking, at least, and seem coherent enough to speak. those are good signs, jayden reminds himself. fern will be okay. that was what the doctors had said, wasn't it? that was —

[break][break] he will be fine, except...

[break][break] "you can't hear," jayden finishes for them. "right?"

[break][break] his throat tightens. when the doctors had told him it, jayden hadn't wanted to believe it. but he'd read the notes, read the files, and it was more than obvious to see the state of the wound that MATIAS SILPH had left. once more, bright and hot, the feeling of hatred runs through his bones at the thought of the elite four. not only did matias continue to be a thorn in rocket's side, but this was yet one more person who had become collateral to the monster's greed.

[break][break] "the doctor's... they said the damage is only external. but you might need to go to physical therapy for a while."

[break][break] jayden's hand tightens around the other, almost as if trying to convey a message in silence.

[break][break] 'it's okay. it'll be okay. i'm here.'

[break][break] guilt threatens to overwhelm him in waves.

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] fern delaney [break]
post postdorm

☉

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played by

lou

harper beck

they/he

twenty-eight

august 11

stow-on-side, galar

pansexual

forger

rocket admin

6'0 (it's 5'8) height

long black tulips, born in your blue tints. lemongrass eyelids, smoke in your slick lips.

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part of

TAG WITH @fern

POSTED ON Aug 7, 2023 15:45:05 GMT

[nospaces]

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Their eyes fix on his, wide and startled as he says the thing they are thinking. If he knows then it only confirms— their lip wobbles despite the effort to keep ahold of themselves. “Right.” Their voice is subdued, bandaged hand raising to feel against the equally bandaged side of their head. “Like being underwater.”[break][break]
Fern sucks in a breath and air makes their lungs ache. “It’s never going to feel right again, is it.” The words are framed like a question, but it slips out of their mouth flat and to the point.[break][break]
Maybe they should have taunted the Elite Four member less. Made himself less of a target. Absently, their lips curl in a frustrated snarl at the thought. No. They felt sorry for nothing.[break][break]
“I don’t understand. If it’s just external, why does it feel worse?” The whine claws its way up his throat, fingers squeezing Jayden’s like they are no more than an upset, angry child being told something they don’t want to hear.[break][break]
And they don’t. They don’t want to know this. They don’t want to feel so pitifully frail and helpless.[break][break]
The quick rise and fall of their chest resumes, only tempered by the steadiness of Jayden’s touch. For right now, the confident and cocksure version of Fern who could hold their own against Matias and still spit in his face is gone. The Fern who could stare down the illusions created by Jayden’s fears as well.[break][break]
All that’s left is this scared, hurt shell. They hate it. They hate themself, even. They hate the pathetic words that tumble from their tongue as their eyes fix on his discarded laptop and the realization that he probably has things to do sinks in. “Please don’t go. Don’t leave me.”
[break][break]

jayden cross // m: post-postdorm [break]

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played by

milky

jayden

he/him

december 25

ballonlea, galar

bisexual

wyndon ceo

admin

5'10" height

we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

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part of

TAG WITH @jayden

POSTED ON Aug 10, 2023 4:21:45 GMT

MATIAS SILPH likes this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","jaytop"] ♀ lada the umbreon ✨ / synchronize / throat chop, confuse ray, assurance, moonlight, psychic, feint attack

[attr="class","littlejay"]

"right. like being underwater."

[break][break] the skin around his eyes tighten with concern, with grief, with guilt.

[break][break] jayden had nearly drowned enough times to know the terror that came with being plunged underwater. he couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to have that feeling permanently.

[break][break] but this wasn't permanent. not necessarily.

[break][break] if they did the treatment, the physical therapy... maybe there was a chance.

[break][break] "don't say that," he says swiftly, leaning down to press a kiss against their lips. an attempt at soothing them, but also to distract them. he kisses away the ugly snarl, the growl that he knows comes from only thinking about him. MATIAS SILPH. jayden relates. he can feel the anger and hurt churning like a storm in his gut. but he doesn't want them to feel that way, not the way that he feels. they're not allowed.

[break][break] not right now, anyway.

[break][break] he pulls back slightly, running a hand through their hair in soothing, rhythmic motions. it causes him to wince, if ever so slightly, because his own wounds are still bandaged and healing. but if there's anything he can to do to ignore his pain and serve theirs, he would.

[break][break] "i won't leave you," he says to them, not even glancing at the laptop. jayden shifts and stands up, only to attempt to crawl into the cot alongside them, arm slipping around them to pull them into a cradle. "here. how's this?"

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] fern delaney [break]
post postdorm

☉

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played by

lou

harper beck

they/he

twenty-eight

august 11

stow-on-side, galar

pansexual

forger

rocket admin

6'0 (it's 5'8) height

long black tulips, born in your blue tints. lemongrass eyelids, smoke in your slick lips.

awards

967 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @fern

POSTED ON Aug 16, 2023 17:19:52 GMT

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They can blame their conflict all they like, but Fern’s knows they should only blame themself for how badly it turned out. If they had just left it alone, maybe they’d only be nursing some superficial wounds.[break][break]

“But it’s true,” they protest, though it’s weak and petulant. Like a frustrated child insisting they’re not tired when they’re very clearly falling asleep. They want to wallow in their self-pity and self-disdain, but obviously jayden cross is not going to hear a word of it. They stuff it all away, fully intending to mull over it all silently when they have the quiet moment for it.[break][break]

And given how long recovery will likely take given how terribly they feel, they think they’ll have ample time for such an activity.[break][break]

The other’s lips are warm against their skin, which feels too cold. Cold, they realize. They feel practically frigid, laying her. A reactionary shiver is suppressed as thoughts of the elite four member who reduced them to this fades from mind.[break][break]

A part of them feels greedy for the attention they are being given. The other part feels guilty, because they don’t miss the flicker of pain that passes through Jayden’s face. They are not the only one who was hurt in the fighting. They are not the only who has aches and pains to recover from.[break][break]

But how can they not beg him to stay?[break][break]

A whimper wants to crawl up their throat as he reassures them, but it’s smothered before it can slip free. But maybe their vision blurs a bit as he climbs up alongside them and settles in. At once, the erratic jump of their anxiety settles as they shift and curl into him. A shaky breath follows, as their eyes close. “Very good.”

[break][break]

jayden cross // m: post-postdorm [break]

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played by

milky

jayden

he/him

december 25

ballonlea, galar

bisexual

wyndon ceo

admin

5'10" height

we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

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part of

TAG WITH @jayden

POSTED ON Sept 11, 2023 6:07:35 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","jaytop"] ♀ lada the umbreon ✨ / synchronize / throat chop, confuse ray, assurance, moonlight, psychic, feint attack

[attr="class","littlejay"]

concern simmers in his expression as his lips brush against their skin. cold.

[break][break] his arms close around their body, pulling close towards him. he tries to squash all of the worries that are burrowing beneath the surface, all the memories of guilt and shame and — hurt.

[break][break] a hand reaches out to cup their cheek warmly, pressing a kiss to their lips to hush the whimper that undoubtedly threatened to crawl up their throat. he presses their foreheads together, ignoring the burning sensation of his own wounds.

[break][break] "you scared me, you know," he said after a moment, a lip curled into a smile in attempt to soften the mood. "i thought you were playing a prank on me."

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] fern delaney [break]
post postdorm

☉

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played by

lou

harper beck

they/he

twenty-eight

august 11

stow-on-side, galar

pansexual

forger

rocket admin

6'0 (it's 5'8) height

long black tulips, born in your blue tints. lemongrass eyelids, smoke in your slick lips.

awards

967 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @fern

POSTED ON Sept 19, 2023 14:57:24 GMT

[nospaces]

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The panic that has been brewing under the surface and bubbling over finally begins to calm once jayden cross sweeps them up in his arms. They are sore and in pain, but they relax in the embrace he provides. Fern feels themself sag with a tired sigh. Their forehead presses back into his as heavy eyes shut.[break][break]
They nestle themself closer, fingers curling in the fabric of his shirt. Close doesn’t feel close enough. But they try to be mindful of the fact that he is obviously hurt too.[break][break]
“Hm?” Even with their eyes closed, their brows furrow in confusion, lips pursing in a frown. One blue eye cracks open again. Then the other. “A prank? How?”[break][break]
Guilt rises again, frantic in their expression their eyes meet tired violet.

[break][break]

jayden cross // m: post-postdorm [break]

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played by

milky

jayden

he/him

december 25

ballonlea, galar

bisexual

wyndon ceo

admin

5'10" height

we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

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4,144 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @jayden

POSTED ON Nov 3, 2023 15:13:51 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","jaytop"] ♀ lada the umbreon ✨ / synchronize / throat chop, confuse ray, assurance, moonlight, psychic, feint attack

[attr="class","littlejay"]

"no, it's not -"

[break][break] guilt is reflected in his eyes too, but for a different reason this time.

[break][break] it was a bad joke. not fit for the moment.

[break][break] a reference for that time in the crystal cavern, stuck among ghosts of alexei volkov, and his own tortured past.

[break][break] "don't worry about it, varobushik."

[break][break] a kiss pressed softly to their forehead.

[break][break] "what do you remember?"

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] fern delaney [break]
post postdorm

☉

close tab

played by

lou

harper beck

they/he

twenty-eight

august 11

stow-on-side, galar

pansexual

forger

rocket admin

6'0 (it's 5'8) height

long black tulips, born in your blue tints. lemongrass eyelids, smoke in your slick lips.

awards

967 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @fern

POSTED ON Nov 7, 2023 16:39:07 GMT

[nospaces]

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The reference is one that they miss—maybe it will click later. But right now, their mind is too addled by pain and the haze of the medication that dims the depth of that pain.[break][break]
A faint smile spreads across their lips as he dismisses the joke as nothing important.[break][break]
The distress dissipates, just like that.[break][break]
Their brows furrow at the question posed, though. “I… I remember the fog, and your brother.” But it’s patchy. Most everything is crowded out by—“Matias.”[break][break]
It’ll all come back eventually, of course. In waves. But not yet.

[break][break]

jayden cross // m: post-postdorm [break]

[attr="class","star3"]

[attr="class","petalpoke"]

[attr="class","rouxcredit"]♠

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played by

milky

jayden

he/him

december 25

ballonlea, galar

bisexual

wyndon ceo

admin

5'10" height

we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

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POSTED ON Nov 7, 2023 17:09:10 GMT

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[attr="class","jaytop"] ♀ lada the umbreon ✨ / synchronize / throat chop, confuse ray, assurance, moonlight, psychic, feint attack

[attr="class","littlejay"]

the mist. his brother. he felt a surge of complicated emotion rise up in him at the thought of both — a mixture of resentment, anger, and bittersweetness.

[break][break] but both paled in comparison to the HATRED he felt consume him at the mention of MATIAS SILPH.

[break][break] "i'll kill him," he growled. "for doing this to you."

[break][break] his fingers tighten around them, burrowing his face in their neck.

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] fern delaney [break]
post postdorm

☉

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played by

lou

harper beck

they/he

twenty-eight

august 11

stow-on-side, galar

pansexual

forger

rocket admin

6'0 (it's 5'8) height

long black tulips, born in your blue tints. lemongrass eyelids, smoke in your slick lips.

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