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OH TO BE HALF IN LOVE

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[attr="class","freiwanttmid"]CHARACTER FACTION league

[attr="class","freiwanttmid"]CHARACTER RANKcivilian

[attr="class","freiwanttmid"]FACE CLAIM hanako from blue archive

[attr="class","freiwantttop"]WITH EASEFUL DEATH

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the kingdom crumbles underfoot[break]
down to ash and grime and soot[break]
cast your voice below and sing[break]
it feels so good when--[break][break]
ÿ̸̫͓̘́̀̚o̴̫̺̿̈́͛u̸̢͎̘͑́ a̴̪̦̼̓͛r̴̝̼̻̈́̀͝e̴̪͎͍͌̿͝ k̴̠̠̀̚͠i̴̘͕̫͌̾̕ń̴͍̺̀g̵̡̝͍͌̈́͐

TW: mention of pokemon/animal cruelty[break][break]

you're the trophy child that broke. mother and father couldn't give a dunsparce's ass about you, not unless you came back with a grade lower than 95. when you did, they finally gave you the attention you needed - but not the attention you wanted. sure, you got plenty of attention at school amongst your teachers and your peers. your teachers sang praises of your good behavior and your "friends" would talk about how nice you were to them. well, of course you'd be -- anything less would be a hinderance. yeah, you liked their praises. [break][break]

but what they gave didn't matter. [break][break]

so, you thought, what did you have to do to get attention? what did you have to do to get love? "just be yourself!" a close friend from childhood preached. you, feigning anxiety and nervousness takes her advice, and that's your first experience with shattering abandonment. you realize that they don't want you; they want the pristine illusion of you.[break][break]

repression isn't so bad, you think, while you speak pleasantly with new friends who come and go. you pass your time watching and observing people and sometimes, you'd even go online and type in "how to be a sweet person" unironically. it didn't really work, though.[break][break]

with abandonment gone, you face your new problem: boredom. being an upstanding citizen is so dreary, and the life is so dry. the joy you feel around people diminishes, and the adrenaline you feel when you drop your bloodied knife is starting to fade. yes, you need more - you need something more exhilarating. so you set your eyes towards crimes towards people, and you chuckle in amusement as you watch the way color drains from their face, or revel in how the fear consumes their thoughts. yes, you think, this is what you were searching for. the adrenaline is ecstasy, so you do it again. then you do it again. then you do it again, but worse. eventually, you garner the attention of rocket, and they recruit you with money as your motivator. [break][break]

rocket was good to you, the few years you were in. apparently a disregard for empathy helps you commit crimes better, and that's something that no one's suspected. something in you is broken, but you're still functioning, so what does it matter when a cog in the machine falls out of its slot? [break][break]

no one would think you're a criminal while you were arrested. you with your crocodile tears lament, pleading to be saved. you, with self-preservation, has gone from a cold-hearted criminal to a fragile victim. you needed the money, you didn't want to do it. you wept and cried with the same story you'd tell coworkers; your parents who've abandoned you left you no choice. you're a victim to the circumstances, and a victim to the system that failed to save you. [break][break]

and you fooled everyone, with a smile on your lips. [break][break]

you're brought into a program for rocket reformation. it's so easy to convince them you're reformed and getting yourself back onto your feet - they're giving you an image they want on a silver platter. you've eaten your fill, but you're back to boredom. or.. that's what you think when you pack your bags to hoenn. [break][break]

ah, how fun.


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