[attr="class","illie"]

[attr="class","illie b"]

[attr="class","illie i"]things have been busy for the silph scientist, picking up speed after events of the aqua assembly. a new job, a new task, a mild reunion of powers thought to be lost. there's an anxiety in her that hadn't been there when she returned, placed with the sparkle of a crystal and kept to fester. the notion has her returning to league headquarters, returning to her old department. there's no longer a place for her here, not as what she used to be.

now, she's a subject, something of worth to study.

she follows the assistant to a private office, nestled in the research tower. a familiar face greets them as they arrive. one from the assembly, one she recognizes with mild ease. zenji dismisses the assistant with a thanks and nothing more, instead beckoning her closer. sit and sit she does. sitting pretty is sometimes one of the only things she's good at.

"things have been well," she flashes a small smile, folding her hands into her lap. there's an urge in her to bleed pink, to fill the space between them with mist. she shuffles it away, caging it for now. "thank you, it's a pleasure to finally meet you as well. i've heard great things about both you and dr. morales." they're both exceptional, really. she expects nothing less of her successors. lucas lane left big enough shoes for both of them to fill and she's almost proud to see they're rising past those expectations. "definitely exciting. i'm thankful to be back."

still, coming back always comes with some uncertainty. it leaves her thumbing between excitement and anxiety, teetering between one or the other. right now, her hands fiddle idly with both.

zenji jabami

[attr="class","illie"]

[attr="class","illie b"]

[attr="class","illie i"]her body shifts uncomfortably, almost expecting something worse than what actually comes. tension coils in the pits of her stomach anyway and she flashes a small smile in an attempt to dispel the feeling. "it's okay."

the softening of an expression sends pangs of emotion she doesn't understand. mild anger, mild pity, mild sadness. the softness is both a kindness and a curse, she's come to realize. whenever someone looks at her like she's fragile, there's the strong notion she'll break. never again. "yes," she murmurs. "i lost my powers in the war. tapu lele and myself took the brunt of the injuries surrounding us at the cost of our bond." her gaze drops to her hands, the way knuckles go white in the idle task of clutching at skirt fabric.

in some way. the days after the aqua assembly have been full of questioning, of wondering, of longing, of greed. her thoughts swim through each one now as he continues.

"it did," she almost sounds disbelieving, as if the pink mist that threatens to expel from her isn't real. a figment of the imagination, drawn into existence by the sheer force of her longing. and yet, it's as real as ever. "i'm personally not sure why. i want to believe the bond has not been severed but there is no way for me to know. i never thought i could possess any energy on a comparable level to primal energy but i hope your examination provides some answers." softly, almost inaudible, she adds, "for both of us."

her hands slowly begin to unclench from her skirt and her smile is hesitant but mildly eager.

"whenever you're ready, you can begin."

zenji jabami

[attr="class","illie"]

[attr="class","illie b"]

[attr="class","illie i"]there's a distinct difference between being in a white room as a scientist versus a subject. as a scientist, you can control the experiments, control the way things occur. as a subject, however? there's a lack of control there that makes her skin crawl. it's an uncomfortable feeling she stews in as he guides her, head bobbing slightly in agreement as they look to begin.

the concept of being anything close to special is lost on her. this is nothing more than a check up to see if whatever ruins of her bond still exist, right? nothing more, nothing less.

except, as she's tethered to the chair and left to strum anxious fingers against her thigh, zenji will pause. she stares up at him, head tilting slightly to the side as curiosity takes over. "of course," she murmurs.

the question itself catches her off guard, as if the concept of the soul is not something she expected to be part of this check up. she's quiet for a moment, mind shifting gears from idle to intellect.

"they say the soul is the essence of the human being," she begins, soft, almost far away as if reciting some text he can't see. "there's no evidence on if it's a concrete existence or a philosophical concept but it's said to be composed of different parts to make a human whole. sometimes it breaks into pieces and sometimes it's kept whole. personally, i like to think it's a piece of the universe broken off and given to a human being." does that even make sense? she's doubtful.

"why? what do you know of the soul?"

zenji jabami

[attr="class","illie"]

[attr="class","illie b"]

[attr="class","illie i"]there it is again, that softness. she stares back at him with an expression not easily placed. it exists in a halfway point, not quite understanding but not quite confused either. an almost, really. she's quiet as he talks, absorbing the information he provides as a sponge for knowledge.

he tells a story of both himself and his work, one woven in the understanding of quantum physics, of the quantum soul. it's of medium degree to follow, parts sticking out more in grasping the concept than others. one thing she acutely understands is this: everything connects to become one cohesive soul on a quantum level. entanglement with other living souls leaves marks on a person, more than just surface level. he brings it full circle in the concept of avatarship, of the way tapu lele's presence affected her on more than just a molecular structure.

"every avatar's bond with their respective legendary is on a deeper level, though, right?" she fails to see where she fits into all of this. not yet, not without realizing there's a special part for her to play. she glances down at her hands, at mild tendrils of pink mist rising at the mention of her bond. a calling to a deity thought to have left. "i thought the bond was severed when i asked too much of tapu lele, when i asked the unthinkable to save those around me. perhaps it had been just the right question?" she thinks back to that day, that flower field, that sacrifice she made. pieces click into place and she's spilling the story to him without much prompting now. "i had been chosen for the act of sacrificing my ponyta to restore tapu lele. it had been a husk then, as if all life had been sucked from it's being. i found it in flowers and when heal pulse didn't work, i made the decision to use healing wish. it seemed to like the idea of me doing whatever it took to heal."

it's funny, she seems to be doing the same thing even now. sacrificing bits and pieces of herself to heal the trauma she's holding onto. throwing away old parts of her to replace them with new ones, hunting crystals in a desperate attempt to restore her own bond. there's a selfishness in her that reminds her of the deity and she holds to it with white knuckles.

"i didn't think of tapu lele's sacrifice as something that could strengthen our bond," it's soft, almost barely above a whisper, as if she doesn't want to fully admit her failures to him in the confines of a white room. she does anyway, if only because she has to. "i thought i had failed it, that it was so disappointed in me and my actions. it suffered so much damage, so much pain, because i forced it into that position. i thought i had been stronger then, that with it by my side i could conquer aliens falling from the sky with no problem." she had been wrong then and perhaps, she is wrong now.

and despite it all, his words instill a sense of hope in her, right down to the essence of her soul.

"you believe there's a fated meeting for us?"

zenji jabami

[attr="class","illie"]

[attr="class","illie b"]

[attr="class","illie i"]her silence is pensive, analytical, bordering on overthinking. she had been too wrapped up in the loss, the pain, the war itself to realize what zenji is now telling her.

the bond between deity and avatar isn't always as it appears. for her, it seems, she had more of a friend in tapu lele than she had known. the time spent together had been enough to leave a mark on their respective souls. enough to strengthen their bond, enough to allow tapu lele the choice made. save illeana or save itself... in the end, it had severed the bond to heal after such extensive injuries but those injuries came from a friendship and bond not easily forged.

his hand coming down on her shoulder startles her from her thoughts, enough for her to mildly jump in her seat. "i see tapu lele as the same," she murmurs. a part of her unable to be replaced, a friend that is cherished and missed. her lips spread into a soft smile. "thank you, i appreciate that sentiment."

and then, work begins and she settles into her new role of the subject. it's odd to be the one in the chair being poked and prodded, odd in a way she can't exactly place. familiar yet not. the thought unsettles her just enough for her to snap her head toward him when he breaks the silence. the comment catches her off guard, as if she hadn't been expecting him to provide more advice than he already has. the smile that breaks onto her lips is easier, a touch more genuine than the last. "i won't waver. not anymore," that's a promise she made to herself and now, him. she thought she could choke on her hope if it got too strong and yet, he wants her to continue. hope for the reunion, hope for tapu lele. naturally, it comes easy to illeana reyes. "i'll stay as hopeful as i can. this conversation helped, zenji, thank you."

she wants to say more, wants to spill more to him. and yet, the beep of his tablet kills any words in her throat. his words are cryptic, enough for her to feel mild anxiety beginning to cling to her pores. faintly, the beginning tendrils of pink mist begin to bleed from her hands. "and yet what?" confusion etches itself into her features and she's scrunching her nose, slightly turning her head to sneak a glance at him. "what do you mean infected?"

zenji jabami