[attr="class","beck"]"that's not my point."

the barkeep is familiar enough with theo to know his drink order by now. he returns with it, then disappears without much of a look.

he raises it, sips, but it does little to quench his thirst.

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

This time, when Gavin exhales, there is no trace of miasma in the gray-white of cigarette smoke. It curls lazily from his lips, and he watches Theo through the haze.

"What is, then?"

[attr="class","beck"]he's too tired to answer — it shows in the way his shoulders lower when he exhales. he switches the drink for a cigarette, inhales smoke, and loses himself in the way his lungs burn.

"you've calmed down."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

"You're very good at dodging questions."

But unlike before, there's no heat behind the words. His lip quirks.

There are things he could say to drag the conversation back in a direction Beckett clearly doesn't want it to go; this time, Gavin is merciful. He takes a sip of the water when it's replaced, traces his finger around the rim.

"I have."

[attr="class","beck"]"good."

though he won't admit it, it bothered him to see merlino in the state he was in earlier. the lack of miasma is a good sign and it's something he can appreciate.

a moment passes before he asks:

"do you regret it?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

Gavin's glass is halfway to his lips when Theo asks the question. He sets it down.

He gestures to the scotch, then looks back.

"No."

[attr="class","beck"]he maintains his gaze elsewhere — this time it's on the marbletop. he sees the blurry movements of the barkeep but doesn't bother to focus. he exhales, switches, then sips.

"okay."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

Scotch is placed down next to a glass of water that's half-drained, but Gavin takes only a single sip. It's pleasant, now, when he's drinking for the taste.

Theo isn't looking at him, but Gavin doesn't avert his gaze.

"Were you worried I would?"

[attr="class","beck"]the bottom of the glass clunks against the counter. he pauses for a moment as if to consider an answer he already knows. he gestures for a refill, then answers:

"yes."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

"Then you can understand, I think, that I'd worry the same."

It's not pointed nor accusatory; with initial vulnerabilities surpassed, Gavin speaks matter-of-fact. He tilts his head to exhale smoke away from Beckett's face.

[attr="class","beck"]he nods, but is it enough?

he takes one final drag before extinguishing it against the counter. he exhales smoke and basks in the way it clouds them.

"i don't regret it."

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn

Tightness in his chest abates at the admission; it's suddenly easier to breathe.

He inhales the smoke that saturates the air between them. Gavin takes another puff of his cigarette and contributes with a long exhale.

His amber gaze shifts to ensure the barkeep is out of earshot before he drops his voice to barely above a whisper, leaning in.

"Is it something you want kept secret?"

[attr="class","beck"]his voice also drops.

"what is this?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Cillian Quinn