MARCH UPDATE

POSTED ON Jun 4, 2021 19:38:52 GMT

[attr="class","beck"]"promised what?"

she might not want to think about it now but he doesn't relent that easily. he presses for more, pushing her to extremes because he knows she'll come out of it stronger. it's what happened with her parents, too.

"no, eris. there's nothing we can do to save him."

[attr="class","noodles"]Eris Halla

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rosie

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POSTED ON Jun 6, 2021 4:15:52 GMT

Chu-e Choi likes this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","viva"][break]

[attr="class","vivalyric"]花散らせ今吹くこの嵐は
まさに春泥棒

[break]

[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]TAGGED

[break]
THEO BECKETT [break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]THEME

[break]
vibe[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]NOTES

[break]
denial

Close your eyes, keep steady breaths. Inhale for 4, exhale for 8. Everything's collapsing around her but the world around her seems to remain the same.
[break][break]
"He promised he'd be there for me..." That much is inferred from the very fact that Chu-e had extended a hand towards her and invited her into his home, accepted her as one of his own and loves her like how she'd once been loved. But it's naive of her to believe that she lives in a world where adults don't lie about things, to actually have hope that she won't be betrayed and hurt all over again.
[break][break]
Grief is not an emotion easily processed, yet it's one that is all too easily suppressed in favour of regaining control over a situation. Fear and emotions are cast aside as Eris seems to calm down from her initial outburst, the girl moving to rest one trembling hand over another as she steels herself.
[break][break]
"Is it a terminal illness or an undiagnosed condition?"

[break]

[attr="class","vivabot"]

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[newclass=.viva b]font:bold 10px Roboto;color:#b76e79;[/newclass]
[newclass=.viva a]font:bold 10px Roboto;color:#b76e79;[/newclass]
[newclass=.vivalyric]margin:-12px 0px;background-color:#b76e79;color:#f9f9f9;font:bold 14px Hachi Maru Pop;text-transform:uppercase;letter-spacing:1px;text-align:right;padding:20px;padding-top:50px;line-height:10px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.vivaright]font:bold 8px Roboto;line-height:10px!important;text-align:right;padding:9px;background-color:#f9f9f9;border:solid 1px #eeeeee;letter-spacing:1px;margin:-2px -10px -7px -10px;text-transform:uppercase;[/newclass]
[newclass=.vivabot]padding:6px 2px;height:32px;width:40px;border:solid 1px #eeeeee;background-color:#f9f9f9;float:right;margin-left:10px;border-radius:100px;[/newclass]

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beck

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thirty-eight

march 11th

cinnabar

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POSTED ON Jun 6, 2021 10:04:55 GMT

Chu-e Choi likes this

[attr="class","beck"]"choi shouldn't be making promises he knows he can't keep."

as cruel as it might be, it's a thought he allows to be voiced. this is for her sake. what good is a white lie to a child who knows grief? who's lived through it?

at her question, he shrugs.

"probably the latter. i'd ask him yourself to be sure."

after a moment, he asks:

"how do you feel?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Eris Halla

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rosie

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POSTED ON Jun 7, 2021 3:16:56 GMT

Lulu Flint and THEO BECKETT like this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","viva"][break]

[attr="class","vivalyric"]花散らせ今吹くこの嵐は
まさに春泥棒

[break]

[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]TAGGED

[break]
THEO BECKETT [break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]THEME

[break]
vibe[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]NOTES

[break]
denial

Brutal honesty is the solid link that keeps her grounded. Yet, it also seems to twist around her neck, an envious serpent that whispers in her ears as it coils ever tighter. She makes no move to nod at the suggestion to clarify on her own terms but the slight shift of her gaze is enough to mark her acknowledgement.
[break][break]
How does she feel? Being confronted by the notion of loss once more? To have to face the reaper once more and gaze into the abyss that lurked in its eyes...
[break][break]

"It... feels like nothing..."[break]
˙ƃuᴉɥʇʎɹǝʌǝ ǝʞᴉl slǝǝɟ ʇI

[break]
Her eyes seems so lifeless yet her heart is anything but dead. A blink and confusion flits through her gaze, another and its replaced by an unexplainable sense of melancholy. One more and it begins to mix with a hint of frustration. Placing a hand over her chest, Eris can feel her heartbeat - That same old rhythm but somehow managing to be unrecognisable and distorted at the very same time.
[break][break]
Her breath shudders, not ready to accept the lies that she may hear from Chu-e's lips.
[break][break]
"It feels empty."

[break]

[attr="class","vivabot"]

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beck

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POSTED ON Jun 7, 2021 17:31:35 GMT

[attr="class","beck"]it feels like nothing.

he understands all too well. it's why he reaches for a chair, drags it across steel floors, and sits opposite her. he searches for her gaze, though he knows he won't find it. at least, nothing of substance.

"you've felt this way before, haven't you?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Eris Halla

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rosie

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POSTED ON Jun 9, 2021 0:44:05 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","viva"][break]

[attr="class","vivalyric"]花散らせ今吹くこの嵐は
まさに春泥棒

[break]

[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]TAGGED

[break]
THEO BECKETT [break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]THEME

[break]
vibe[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]NOTES

[break]
denial

"A few times..." Theo is spared the briefest of looks, an emptiness ringing in her head as she sees him but doesn't quite acknowledge his presence.
[break][break]
"When I buried dead pokemon. When I could only stand and watch as people died before me. When survivors pointed their knives at me. When my parents left me all alone..." Her attention drifts to the ceiling, the artificial light burning her eyes as she takes a moment to think about everything, to think about nothing. It is nothing, it is everything - Despair, helplessness, anger, confusion, grief; Everything is blending together in a way that she can't quite comprehend.
[break][break]
Her gaze flickers back to Theo, a quiet hunger in that glint as it breathes a question.
[break][break]
Why?

[break]

[attr="class","vivabot"]

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POSTED ON Jun 9, 2021 15:13:21 GMT

[attr="class","beck"]he remembers the first time he felt nothing — remembers how hollow it felt to step into that building in cinnabar knowing he wouldn't walk out whole. it was both a blessing and a curse, he sees that now.

but fuck was it difficult.

"do you miss them?"

he pauses, almost hesitates.

"your parents."

[attr="class","noodles"]Eris Halla

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rosie

she / her

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POSTED ON Jun 10, 2021 9:45:50 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","viva"][break]

[attr="class","vivalyric"]花散らせ今吹くこの嵐は
まさに春泥棒

[break]

[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]TAGGED

[break]
THEO BECKETT [break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]THEME

[break]
vibe[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]NOTES

[break]
denial

Theo is a brave man, especially for being one of the first to prod this far. He asks questions that he knows the answer to; If not to elicit a response, then to find solace of his own?
[break][break]
"Did it feel like anything when you lost someone?"
[break][break]
Her feet idly kick the air, a challenge of her own that wishes to understand the man before her.
[break][break]
"Imagine people that you love and treasure, lost to whatever causes Fate has decided to end their story with. It could be Gavin, Chu-e... It could be Miles, or Ms Lulu... Death doesn't tell you when it's gonna collect and you know it's gonna happen one day. But that doesn't stop it from hurting."
[break][break]
These words feel so practiced, as if a mantra she recites every morning just to pull herself out of bed.
[break][break]
"Maybe you could see their ghosts if they haunt you, maybe you could see them in your dreams... But you can never touch them, the warmth you feel is an illusion of the past."
[break][break]
Her fingers reach towards the sky, seeming to grasp at something that isn't there.
[break][break]
"Sometimes, I wish I could forget that they meant so much to me."

[break]

[attr="class","vivabot"]

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beck

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POSTED ON Jun 10, 2021 14:24:35 GMT

[attr="class","beck"]he doesn't know why but her question catches him off guard. he pauses, tenses, and is silent for a little as his mind wanders.

cillian, tori, chu-e — could he bear the thought of ever losing them?

no.

his mind drifts back.

"i lost my family once, too."

he shifts his gaze elsewhere.

"i wish i had died instead."

[attr="class","noodles"]Eris Halla

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rosie

she / her

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POSTED ON Jun 13, 2021 7:49:58 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","viva"][break]

[attr="class","vivalyric"]花散らせ今吹くこの嵐は
まさに春泥棒

[break]

[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]TAGGED

[break]
THEO BECKETT [break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]THEME

[break]
vibe[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]NOTES

[break]
denial

So it is true that the broken somehow gravitate towards one another. Or perhaps, it's entirely because she simply sits in a box of broken people - From what she's gathered, an individual's history plays a great part in determining why they've joined Rocket.
[break][break]
"Losing your family once is painful and losing them once is enough to remind you how painfully weak you are. Though people say you still carry their wills and legacies on, the guilt doesn't simply get brushed away with those words." She supposes that some may find it strange to hear such words from someone as young as her but there just are some thoughts that she needs to rearrange in this decorative piece for death's jolly parade. "You'll think about it really hard, when it's quiet and no one's around. What happened? What went wrong? Why them? Why not me?"
[break][break]
The serpent is a tenacious beast, a constrictor that knows just what words must be spoken to chip at one's sanity.
[break][break]
"You reflect and sometimes beat yourself up, all to get more power to keep holding onto what you have, even if you call them disposable or easily replaced. In essence, you'll do just about anything to protect the family you have now, wouldn't you?"
[break][break]
Attachment is a sweetness that lures you in, a child's necessity for love and acceptance a terrifying shackle that blinds one to the morality of their actions.
[break][break]
"I promised Gavin that I'd be by his side and watch his back no matter what he did, even if the world is against him... I promised Chu-e that I would protect and help him in any way I could, even if that means going to great lengths to infiltrate the League or lie to them. If even one of them holds an answer to his illness, I can't just sit by and let him die on me."

[break]

[attr="class","vivabot"]

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beck

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POSTED ON Jun 13, 2021 12:23:55 GMT

[attr="class","beck"]in essence, you'll do just about anything to protect the family you have now, wouldn't you?

in a heartbeat.

"would you die for them, eris?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Eris Halla

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myriascope

rosie

she / her

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POSTED ON Jun 14, 2021 13:15:24 GMT

Chu-e Choi likes this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","viva"][break]

[attr="class","vivalyric"]花散らせ今吹くこの嵐は
まさに春泥棒

[break]

[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]TAGGED

[break]
THEO BECKETT [break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]THEME

[break]
vibe[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]NOTES

[break]
denial

The question is met with a tilt of the head, not a moment skipped as the answer sits upon her tongue.
[break][break]
"Why wouldn't I?"

[break]

[attr="class","vivabot"]

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POSTED ON Jun 15, 2021 14:25:36 GMT

Zac Ramsay likes this

[attr="class","beck"]the response fires back too quick to sit well with him. he tenses out of instinct, asking:

"would you die for me?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Eris Halla

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rosie

she / her

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POSTED ON Jun 15, 2021 14:35:10 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","viva"][break]

[attr="class","vivalyric"]花散らせ今吹くこの嵐は
まさに春泥棒

[break]

[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]TAGGED

[break]
THEO BECKETT [break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]THEME

[break]
vibe[break][break]

[attr="class","vivaright"]NOTES

[break]
denial

She's young, but the weight of her words aren't any lighter than they're made out to be.
[break][break]
"If it means you'll survive."

[break]

[attr="class","vivabot"]

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