MARCH UPDATE

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TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Aug 3, 2021 13:37:44 GMT

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Beautiful, luxurious, pristine; everything is perfect in Mauville Hills.
[break][break]
The penthouse is no exception to that, and yet on this night, even at this place, even when in company he adores, there’s nothing beautiful or pristine about the dreams that haunt Mars...
[break][break]
In them, there’s the place he once called home, and it is as if a warzone – broken glass, broken furniture, blood on the walls. There is fear. There is horror. And, there is her... cold, pale, and lifeless.
[break][break]
”…Cosima...”
[break][break]
It’s hard to breathe. It’s hard to move. It’s hard to break from the firm grip the nightmare has on his mind. There’s nothing he can do. There’s nothing he has been able to do every single time these images have appeared before him in dreams for two years now.
[break][break]
A single tear makes its way down his cheek in the dark.
[break][break]
It’s 5 AM, and dawn will soon come.

[break][break]

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[attr="class","credit"]milky

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Aug 3, 2021 13:41:05 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]it's mars' voice that wakes him.

cian shifts in bed, slowly stirring awake as he looks over at the man beside him. he hears the irregular breathing, the soft whispers, and knows what haunts from experience.

and yet, there isn't much he could do.

a gentle hand reaches out for mars' cheek, grazing as he whispers:

"mars."

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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Mars | Tuesday

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TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Aug 3, 2021 13:52:20 GMT

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[attr="class","blboxmm"]

It’s Cian’s voice that wakes him.
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It’s sudden and unexpected, and not a sound that belongs in this memory. It shatters it, making it vanish, even if for a second Mars finds himself wishing he could stay there forever – that he could stay with her memory forever.
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”Fuck...” Amber eyes glance at a familiar face, too disoriented to remember why Cian is here in the first place. Why like this. Why on this night. How much did he hear?
[break][break]
His face sinks into a feather pillow, tightly holding onto it.
[break][break]
”...Sorry.”
[break][break]
His voice is but a whisper in the night, but the apology is honest and comes without thinking.
[break][break]
Mars doesn’t apologize often.

[break][break]

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Aug 3, 2021 13:59:14 GMT

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[attr="class","cian"]the apology falls on deaf ears; he shakes his head, slowly, as if to amplify his point.

"don't be."

what is there to be sorry for?

the same hand glides along mars' cheek, moving up to brush strands of hair away from his eyes. then it rests there, looking to calm.

"are you okay?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Aug 3, 2021 14:08:32 GMT

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For a moment, Mars watches him. His expression. His reactions. His actions.
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The dream is still vivid in his mind, but he tries to focus on Cian.
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There’s comfort in his touch, and Mars closes his eyes, but when he does there’s broken glass and blood.
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He takes a deep breath, and these images vanish as well, then he looks at Cian once again.
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”...Yeah.”
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What can he say? How can he explain? Not a single person knows about the horrors that haunt his nights. Not a single person until now...
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”Kinda… Not really…”
[break][break]
A sigh.
[break][break]
He’s not okay. Mars hasn’t been okay in a long time, but he is also usually quite good at hiding that.
[break][break]
Not right now though, not on this night.

[break][break]

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Aug 3, 2021 14:28:40 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]"that's okay."

because cian's not okay either; they're both just good at hiding it, which means he knows what to look for behind the cracks in their facade.

he offers a soft smile, void of anything but care and concern.

"wanna talk about it?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Aug 3, 2021 14:40:34 GMT

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Is it really okay?
[break][break]
When was the last time someone told him it was okay to be this way?
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He knows the answer, and it hurts.
[break][break]
Gently, Mars reaches for Cian’s hand, allowing their fingers to intertwine. There's something warm in his chest when he looks at that smile, but it could just be that he's tired and that the nightmare is still vivid and haunting.
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Does he want to talk about it?
[break][break]
What could he even say? Talking about it would mean telling Cian everything… About himself, about his family, about the horrible things they have done, and about how Cosima died because of him and no one else. Even though Mars would never admit it even to himself, it scares him.
[break][break]
”We don’t have to. It's... a lot. Thanks, Cian.”
[break][break]
Thanks for what? For waking him up? For listening? For caring? For simply being there?
[break][break]
Perhaps it’s all of that.

[break][break]

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Aug 4, 2021 15:50:11 GMT

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[attr="class","cian"]the unsaid will continue to be unsaid, at least for now, and cian's okay with that. he has things he isn't willing to share just yet either. maybe one day they will.

"of course."

the shift of the topic is natural, expected, but he feels the need to interject, perhaps driven out of something that only comes from a level of intimacy he rarely shares with anyone, if ever.

but here he is, with mars, and he genuinely cares.

and so the words that leave him come naturally, as does the shift in topic after.

"if you ever want to, i'm here."

he lifts mars' hand towards him to plant a kiss.

"do you need a distraction?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Aug 4, 2021 16:29:06 GMT

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Mars wonders how much is there that Cian isn’t willing to say. He wonders what he actually thinks of all of this. But, of course, he doesn’t ask, because it would be unfair to ask.
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One day, maybe all the unsaid things between them will finally be said.
[break][break]
Today is not that day.
[break][break]
’If you ever want to, I'm here.’
[break][break]
He watches him, and he can’t help but smile. The kind of gentle smile that doesn’t come often; the one that is perhaps much more honest or says much more than the charming and radiant ones. A serene smile. An intimate one.
[break][break]
Even with the horrors of his dreams still looming over him, Cian can make him smile.
[break][break]
”I know, and I’m here for you, always.” He knows it probably doesn’t need to be said, but he says it anyway, because also not often that Mars allows himself to say things like these to someone (or that he wants to say them). With Cian, it comes easy, and that’s actually ever so slightly concerning…
[break][break]
”Oh, actually…”
[break][break]
He sits up, fingers running through tousled hair while his other hand still holds onto Cian’s. His gaze falls on the tall windows, noting the way the early signs of morning light peek through the gap in heavy curtains. Dawn. Same time as always.
[break][break]
”...Wanna go for a run?”
[break][break]
This is probably not the response he expected, but Mars gives him a smile. This time, a bright one.

[break][break]

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Aug 5, 2021 8:56:27 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]i'm here for you.

foolish as it might have been, cian believes him, and he'll hold mars to his word when the time comes.

it's not exactly the distraction he's expecting but it's a welcome one nonetheless. cian smiles, nods, and moves to sit up as well.

"not sure if you'll be able to keep up."

he shrugs, playing off a cocky smirk that forms.

"i'll have to borrow some of your stuff."

and though it feels oddly intimate, cian doesn't shy away from it this time.

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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Mars | Tuesday

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TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Aug 5, 2021 11:32:10 GMT

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[attr="class","blboxmm"]

It’s not a lie, and Mars tells himself not to think about the implications that come with that.
[break][break]
Today’s not the time or the place to be thinking about the intricacies of everything that exists between him and Cian. Not when all those images are still so vivid in his mind.
[break][break]
Then again, doesn’t he always find a good enough reason not to think of all that?
[break][break]
”Tesoro, do you always have to underestimate me?”
[break][break]
He chuckles, joking, and just like that he leans in, placing a quick peck on Cian’s cheek before letting go of his hand and getting up.
[break][break]
”Yeah, that’s fine, just take whatever you need.”
[break][break]
It is intimate.
[break][break]
Mars allowing someone to have free rein of his closet and use his things? Unheard of, for he really does love his things. But of course, he also chooses not to think about the reasons why it's so easy to allow Cian to do all this.

[break][break]

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Aug 5, 2021 12:16:40 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]"i will."

lingering by the bed for a few moments after to perhaps cherish the moment, cian eventually gets up as well and walks over to where he assumes the closet to be.

he's not expecting it, but he definitely should've. this is mars, after all.

"what the fuck."

chuckling, cian steps in.

"mars this is bigger than my apartment."

he's exaggerating, of course, but not by much. he takes a moment to glance around to take it in, then steps on over to start perusing through the various articles of clothing mars owns.

and there are a lot.

"i could probably fit into most of these."

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Aug 5, 2021 13:19:01 GMT

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The difference in the way they live becomes obvious at moments like these, but Mars pays it no mind.
[break][break]
It’s not like this is anything new, after all, but there’s still something amusing about seeing the way Cian reacts.
[break][break]
Once, long ago, there was a time when Mars himself would have been shocked by things like these – back before he was cursed with all the bloodstained wealth of his family. But, it’s better not to think this…
[break][break]
”Cian, I’ve been to your apartment, don’t be dramatic.”
[break][break]
He smirks, because it’s fun seeing Cian being dramatic.
[break][break]
Still, he does no more than walk towards one of the shelves, picking out clothes without a concern. Fabrics are soft and everything is spotless, almost as if they’re all brand new. They aren’t, for the most part, but Mars has always been careful with his clothes, and he does go shopping often.
[break][break]
”I think they should be fine… we’re probably around the same shoe size too.”
[break][break]
While talking, he gets dressed, not a moment to waste.
[break][break]
As much as he enjoys being here with Cian, he can’t wait to go for a run.

[break][break]

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Aug 5, 2021 14:23:23 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]"it's hard not to be."

cian loves drama, after all; what is life without a little fun?

he steps after mars to the same shelf and wastes little time in picking something out as well. something simple, if mars is even capable of such a thing, and practical. he changes into them, then grabs a pair of socks and shoes before tugging those on, too.

somewhat understanding the need to get out of here, cian stands back up, turns to mars, and motions out the door.

"alright. you ready?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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TAG WITH @mars