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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 8:27:32 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]fuck that gang.

fuck doing missions.

and fuck this feeling.

these are the thoughts that echo in his head even after they've stepped back out into the empty streets of fallarbor; the town that constantly smells like soot. it's disgusting.

ninetales seems to recognize her trainer's disposition and summons a SAFEGUARD to wrap around them, clearing the air just a little.

"thanks."

after mars makes his way out as well, he turns left, keen on heading to their destination to drop off the crate.

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar // [x]

[newclass=.cian] text-align: justify; font-size: 12px; } .cian b { color: #716075; font-size: 13px; } .cian u { color: #b5b5b5; font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline dotted #716075; font-size: 13px; } .cian a { font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; font-weight: bold; text-transform: uppercase; } .cian .noodles { margin: 0; padding: 5px 0; } .cian .noodles img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; border: none; outline: none; margin: 0; padding: 0; display: inline; float: none; } .cian .noodles .pkmn { display: inline; } .cian .noodles .inactive { filter: grayscale(1); -webkit-filter: grayscale(1); [/newclass]

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 8:58:50 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

For a moment, Mars says nothing, because what good would it do to say anything?
[break][break]
Any words of comfort he could offer could easily fall flat; they could potentially make Cian feel even worse and even upset him while at it. Hell, they could even make him be annoyed at Mars himself, unfair as that would be.
[break][break]
Mars is smart enough to know all this, but he also knows he doesn’t want to leave things like this.
[break][break]
Sometimes the best thing to do is not say anything at all, and yet…
[break][break]
”Cian.”
[break][break]
He ignores the scent of soot, just as he ignores the emptiness of the streets which would usually make him uneasy. Allowing his pokémon to do the work of carrying the crate, he walks calmly, his gaze fixed on Cian.
[break][break]
He’s worried.
[break][break]
Fuck that gang leader guy, whatever his name was.
[break][break]
Fuck his gang too.
[break][break]
And, honestly, fuck Team Rocket for giving them this stupid mission.

[BREAK][BREAK]

+ CIAN MAHER

[attr="class","credit"]milky

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[newclass=.blboxmm .pokeclass]text-align:right; width:520px; [/newclass]
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[newclass=.blboxmm .pokeclass img:hover]background:#5CA9C7; transition:1s all; box-shadow:2px 2px #232323 [/newclass]
[newclass=.blboxmm] position:relative;[/newclass]
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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 10:07:36 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]cian.

he knows mars means well, he really does, but at that moment he feels nothing else other than annoyance and frustration. it's why his tone is harsher than usual.

"you don't have to say anything, mars."

there's nothing to be said.

cian fucked up.

useless.

one of ninetales' tails wraps around cian's shoulders.

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar // [x]

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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 10:26:53 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

Cian didn’t fuck up.
[break][break]
It’s why Mars knows he needs to say something, because there’s no point in him blaming himself for something he had no control over. They both could have been more careful. They both didn’t realize there were other pokémon there. They both failed.
[break][break][break]
Mars knows exactly what his grandfather would have said to him (and what he would have do to him) for making such a stupid mistake, but that is the last thing he wants to think about at these moments.
[break][break]
”I know, but I want to say it.”
[break][break]
His words are calm despite Cian’s harsh tone, because even though it hurts, he reminds himself that Cian is just annoyed and frustrated and probably also in pain.
[break][break]
Silence lingers between them for a few seconds.
[break][break]
”He could have gone for either of us.”
[break][break]
And that’s what he leaves it at, because justifying things further would do no good. It’s a simple fact, and it’s the truth.
[break][break]
A mental note is made to find out who that scumbag of a gang leader was.

[BREAK][BREAK]

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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 11:19:32 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]"yeah but he went for me."

why? because cian was seen as the easier target? it's probably not the case but it's what his mind tells him right now, and he does try to shake it off, really, he does, but it only persists, even spreading as he meets mars' gaze.

"it's whatever. the job's done."

ninetales' SAFEGUARD pulses once again, refreshing.

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar // [x]

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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 12:01:52 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

It’s not whatever.
[break][break]
Of course it’s not.
[break][break]
How could it be, when Cian is so upset about it?
[break][break]
It’s not hard to guess what he’s feeling, because Mars himself has felt the same way before. And, because he has, he knows all too well that nothing anyone says will make this better for Cian. Even if it’s Mars himself.
[break][break]
Meeting his gaze, there’s only a single word in response: ”Okay.”
[break][break]
Then, Mars turns away, looking ahead.
[break][break]
He could just let Cian brood, and maybe he should, but all this has brought back one too many feelings and one too many memories, and quietly, without even looking at him, he breaks the silence he that so easily spreads between them on this evening to say one last thing – because he truly wants Cian to know this.
[break][break]
”Thanks for coming with me today, I hate doing this sort of thing.”
[break][break]
All this would have turned out much differently if Cian hadn’t been here with him.
[break][break]
He’s not useless. To Mars, he will never be.

[BREAK][BREAK]

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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 13:41:33 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]this feels worse than the punishment he had received for not doing a mission. at least in that scenario, he was in control of the situation, that he chose to skip it and spend the day with mars. honestly? he'd rather face punishment than go on a mission like this again.

it's humiliating.

he's more than okay with the silence but it's eventually broken once again.

"yeah? me too."

even more so now. despite the feeling that still plagues him, he chuckles.

"you're more than welcome to come on the next one."

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar // [x]

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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 14:22:20 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

Doing missions for Team Rocket doesn’t always come with painful reminders.
[break][break]
There’s things that he’s so used to that it all barely means anything to him; things that feel normal and ordinary even though he knows that for most people they wouldn’t be. When there’s something obvious he overlooks though? When things don’t go as planned? When he fucks up? That’s when the reminders come.
[break][break]
If Cian had not been here, if Mars had been alone at that bar when the gang leader made his escape, this would have probably been a much bloodier night.
[break][break]
‘Never allow anything to think they can disrespect us. Never leave any loose ends.’
[break][break]
The words ring in his mind, but they’re muted and quiet compared to the sound of chuckling, and that of Cian’s reply.
[break][break]
”Yeah?”
[break][break]
Faintly, Mars smiles despite it all. Despite the mission, despite his concern for Cian, despite his own feelings and thoughts. And as they walk, he moves closer to him, taking his hand and allowing their fingers to intertwine.
[break][break]
”With you? Gladly.”
[break][break]
Not “for him”, but with him.

[BREAK][BREAK]

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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 14:43:49 GMT

Martín del Mar likes this

[attr="class","cian"]their fingers intertwine and it's more than enough to ground him. he exhales, thankful to have mars beside him as he's pulled out of the depths. it's a lifeline he never quite expected to have but now that he does, it's one he can't imagine not having.

it's selfish, but he wishes mars could be on him for every mission.

sadly, team rocket doesn't work that way.

"still think my bulldoze idea would've worked better."

it would've been messier, bloodier, but at least cian wouldn't have gotten hurt. maybe. it's mostly a joke, as evident by how he shrugs and laughs.

"dinner on you after this?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar // [x]

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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 15:15:10 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

If it were Mars’ choice, he’d much rather do every mission with Cian.
[break][break]
Well, he’d actually much rather neither of them did any missions at all, but in the realm of impossible things, the former seems much more plausible...
[break][break]
Doing this sort of thing with Cian comes with worries, and it comes with stress, but in the end, it’s much more reassuring than anything – because he has him by his side, grounding him, and also because he can be here for Cian.
[break][break]
And, as Mars realizes at that very moment, after a stressful mission like this, there’s nothing quite like hearing him laugh.
[break][break]
Naturally and with ease, his laugh matches Cian’s. ”Oh, yeah? Maybe. Let’s do things your way next time.”
[break][break]
There’s no way of knowing they wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Actually, Mars could easily come up with a whole list of things that could have gone horribly wrong with that plan, but as much experience as he may have with this, he also trusts Cian to do a good job – perhaps much more than what Cian trusts himself with this.
[break][break]
”Dinner sounds perfect... Are you feeling alright though?”
[break][break]
Just in case, maybe dinner should really be at the hospital this time.

[BREAK][BREAK]

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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 16:23:30 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]by now, adrenaline's faded enough that the pain he feels is a little more than uncomfortable. it pulses against his head like a hammer, knocking with intensity. he shakes his head which only seems to make it worse.

"just a headache or something. nothing food can't fix."

it's definitely something. ninetales even perks her head up at this, though cian's hand is quick to soothe her back down.

"how far away are we?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar // [x]

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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 17:18:31 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

’Nothing food can’t fix.’
[break][break]
Really? With how he had been thrown across the room? Unlikely. But, if Cian is actually in pain, Mars wouldn’t expect him to say a word about it. After all, with the way things had gone down, that would probably only make him feel even more frustrated, and he wouldn’t want to seem weak or whatever.
[break][break]
It’s stupid, and dangerous, and selfish... and it’s also exactly what Mars himself would do the roles were reversed and he were in Cian’s situation.
[break][break]
”It should be close-by… You sure it’s just a headache though? You hit your head pretty hard.”
[break][break]
He wants to say they should get someone to have a look at him, but concerned as he may be, that would probably only make Cian feel worse about all this.
[break][break]
Just as they take another turn, Mars gently squeezes his hand.

[BREAK][BREAK]

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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 17:39:13 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]"did i? i can't seem to remember."

the sarcasm in his tone is clear, practically drenching as he rolls his eyes. the care and concern is warranted, that much is certain, but he doesn't want any of it right now, as selfish as it is.

so he shrugs it off.

"i'm fine, mars. i think that's it up ahead."

pointing to the supposed rendezvous point, cian slows to a stop before leaning against his ninetales, clearly exhausted despite not having done much.

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar // [x]

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POSTED ON Aug 28, 2021 17:56:46 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

Go figure.
[break][break]
It is expected, and it is justified, but still, hearing Cian react like that hurts.
[break][break]
Ultimately, there’s only so much Mars can do. He can try to be understanding, he can tell himself to remember what it’s like to be in Cian’s place, and he can also remind himself that he’s probably in pain and that that’s only making him feel more annoyed. Cian doesn’t mean it, Mars knows that, but it still sucks.
[break][break]
So, even if he wants to push further, even if he wants to tell him they really should go to a hospital, he keeps quiet – not saying a word until the next time Cian speaks up.
[break][break]
”Okay… As long as you’re sure.”
[break][break]
’I’m just worried about you.’
[break][break]
He sighs, but he keeps the words to himself, because they would probably only annoy Cian more.
[break][break]
”I’ll deal with it. Keep watch, yeah?”
[break][break]
And with that, Mars lets go of his hand, stepping forward just as his pokémon carry the crate along.

[BREAK][BREAK]

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