his insecurities often show without him realizing as much, but this time, he notices, and mars notices, too.

a small part of him wishes mars hadn't because things would have been much easier that way.

or at least less painful.

cian turns, leaning into the touch briefly.

"why?"

Martín del Mar

☉

Why?
[break][break]
Even now, like this, Cian can’t tell, can he?
[break][break]
Mars has always been an observant person, and that probably helps when it comes to this sort of thing. The fact that he’s observant, his past experiences, but above all else, the simple truth is that he can tell because he knows Cian well. Because he understands him. Because he wants to understand him.
[break][break]
Even if there’s so much more he wishes he knew.
[break][break]
Even if it has only been a few months since these feelings first became too obvious to ignore.
[break][break]
Mars knows himself well enough to understand his own feelings and, even though he tried not to before, to acknowledge them – right here, right now, while looking at Cian.
[break][break]
”Because you’re you, and no one can compare to that.”
[break][break]
Caressing his cheek one last time, the hand drifts down to his chest, moving to Cian’s left while Mars continues to hold his gaze. With the next words, a single finger pokes right over his heart, hard.
[break][break]
”Because I love you, you idiot.”
[break][break]
Brightly, he smiles.


[break][break]

+ CIAN MAHER | MISSION

i love you.

for someone usually so observant, cian never noticed the clear signs that would've saved him from being caught off guard here. or maybe he did but he simply chose to register them as something else, because surely, who would ever be in love with him?

apparently, mars is, and though he doesn't understand why exactly, it's still enough to make his heart flutter.

"you actually do, huh?"

he chuckles, smiling as he looks back at mars.

after a pause, as if to make sure of it, he sighs, then whispers:

"i love you, too."

Martín del Mar

☉

Cian should have noticed, because Mars made it obvious enough.
[break][break]
Even if he didn’t acknowledge his feelings, it’s not like he ever hid them, is it?
[break][break]
They were always there, in plain sight.
[break][break]
In every action, in every word, in even the smallest of gestures.
[break][break]
As have Cian’s been, honestly, even if he sometimes can say things that make Mars question things.
[break][break]
”Yeah, I actually do.”
[break][break]
He also chuckles.
[break][break]
’I love you, too.’
[break][break]
As confident as Mars may be, throughout his life it’s not often that he has heard words like these, and at this moment, his heart flutters as he looks at Cian.
[break][break]
”I know, I’m glad... This’d be awkward as hell if you didn’t say it back.”
[break][break]
He grins, and he laughs.
[break][break]
Mars? Feeling awkward? Perhaps just this once.



[break][break]

+ CIAN MAHER | MISSION

honestly, cian had been sure for a while now because there's no one else that makes him feel the way mars does. with him, he feels safe, warm, secure, and loved.

what more could he ask for?

"can you imagine?"

cian laughs as well, which helps dispel the awkward tension in the air.

"like, what if i had just gotten up and walked away?"

Martín del Mar

☉

Things are better this way.
[break][break]
Laughing with him, joking around with him… This is exactly what Mars wants.
[break][break]
So many things between him and Cian are cherished, there are so many moments he loves, but right now, this is perfect just as it is, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world.
[break][break]
”Oh, fuck you. There’s no way you would have!”
[break][break]
Laugher soon fades into mere chuckling, a smile remaining at his lips, and just as this happens, he leans in, gently kissing him. A second later, he pulls away, just barely so.
[break][break]
”I really do love you, Cian.”
[break][break]
One more time, because he wants to say it, and because there should be no doubts about that.


[break][break]

+ CIAN MAHER | MISSION

yeah, there was no way cian would've, because doing something like that, even as a joke, would've been horrible to experience.

this is much better instead.

this is real.

this is genuine.

his laughter fades as he returns the kiss, gentle in the way he meets mars' lips.

"and i really love you, mars."

a hand raises to cup mars' cheek, caressing.

"for the record, i'd leave with you once you've done what you needed to here."

Martín del Mar

☉

Mars will never get tired of hearing it.
[break][break]
No matter how many times he says it. No matter how aware he is of how much truth there is to these words.
[break][break]
It’s something he realizes when hearing it again; it’s amazing, it’s perfect. When spoken by Cian, they may just be his favourite words.
[break][break]
And, what follows?
[break][break]
The hand on his cheek.
[break][break]
The phrase he never even imagined he’d hear Cian say to him.
[break][break]
’I'd leave with you once you've done what you needed to here.’
[break][break]
He would really do that? He’d leave it all behind? His family? His life in Hoenn? To be with him?
[break][break]
Holding his gaze, Mars leans into the touch, a hand being raised to rest on his.
[break][break]
”Yeah?” He smiles, in that gentle and soft way he only does when he’s with Cian. ”Then I guess we’ll decide if we leave when that happens. If it’s what we both want.”
[break][break]
When the time comes, they can make that decision together.


[break][break]

+ CIAN MAHER | MISSION

leaving might not be as simple as cian is making it out to be. there are too many variables in play: rocket, his family, and his job, which he's yet to tell mars about but it's something he's been considering for a while, and it's something that'll likely happen soon.

too many variables.

and yet, he'd drop all of them just to be with mars.

"i guess we will."

where would they even go? not that it matters, of course, but the options are fun to consider.

after another gentle kiss, he whispers:

"i love you."

Martín del Mar

☉

After it’s all said and done, after he has achieved all his goals, it will be time to pay his dues. Pay for Team Rocket’s involvement and aid, pay for all the damage that will inevitably be caused, and pay for how far he’ll go for the sake of putting an end to all those who seek to bind him and control him.
[break][break]
So, no, leaving won't be easy at all.
[break][break]
Mars knows it, but he chooses not to say it, because in his own way, Cian probably knows it too.
[break][break]
Right now, at this moment, what matters isn’t how easy it may or may not be, but knowing that they could leave together. That they belong in each other's lives, and thus also in each other’s future.
[break][break]
It’s an amazing thing to know.
[break][break]
This, and many others, are the reasons why he smiles as he returns the gentle kiss, his words also a whisper:
[break][break]
”I love you, too.”
[break][break]
How long has it been since he has been this happy?
[break][break]
Too long, maybe.
[break][break]
Another kiss, and another whisper a moment after it.
[break][break]
”I really do, Cian.”



[break][break]

+ CIAN MAHER | MISSION

another kiss, another whisper, and he finds falling too deep to ever imagine crawling back out. not that he wants to, of course, because this is where he feels most safe.

"good."

a wink follows, along with his usual smirk that returns all too easily.

"you better, cause i'm a fucking catch."

Martín del Mar

☉

’Good.’
[break][break]
And, back to normal.
[break][break]
Honestly, it makes Mars glad.
[break][break]
As much as he likes knowing and understanding Cian’s insecurities, as much as he’s well aware of them and will always keep them in mind, there’s nothing good about things like those, is there?
[break][break]
Not like there is about this.
[break][break]
Even if it’s all a front. Even if Cian doesn’t actually believe his own words.
[break][break]
Mars does, so he will tell him as much.
[break][break]
”That, you are. When have I ever gone for anything other than the very best?”
[break][break]
All too easily, his smirk mirrors Cian.
[break][break]
”It’s what I deserve, and what you deserve, so good thing I’m also the best.”
[break][break]
With these words, a wink of his own.
[break][break]
Mars being Mars, he truly does believe these words.




[break][break]

+ CIAN MAHER | MISSION

mars has a point: he always goes for the very best, and so shouldn't that say enough about the fact that he's choosing to be with cian? that he loves him?

it should, and in the moment it does, but who knows how

"hmm, i guess you are the best."

he rolls his eyes, chuckling before leaning in to kiss him.

"you're perfect to me, mars."

Martín del Mar

☉