when knox stirs, sam moves to give him space. he'd replaced himself where his absol had slept and hecate laid on the other side of him. when knox stirred, the absol cooed and got off the bed so sam could lean back.

knox made room for himself and sam didn't fuss, just rotated onto his back to watch knox. my knox.

he smiles, even as his face is touched and examined. he moves his own finger over bruised portions of knox' body, slowly, gently.

"i look a bit like your ribs and cheek on the inside," there is no malice, there is no pain. only clarity, only realization. "but i'm healing."

knox prescott

there's his confirmation. there's one thing he can always count sam being, and that's honest. there is still a touch of concern, a smidge of worry, in knox's eyes as he thumbs sam's bruises one last time. he'll have to stay awake tonight and try to get sam to fall asleep before him - which is no small feat. 

knox pokes at his ribs and is pleased when there's only a dull ache, a reminder. "i don't think they're supposed to heal this quickly," he says. his face is starting to look a lot better too. "your gardevoir's pretty damn magical."

he reaches down and pats sam's bare stomach. "breakfast, yeah? or did you already eat?"

samuel carter

☉

the pat to his stomach has sam smiling. that feels normal. despite the worry, knox looks normal. the only way to get that worry to leave is to act as if he's better--

no, stop that.

is to be better. yes, that's better. see? he's learning.

"she does have healing pulse and her life dew healing properties are quite the perk." his eyes search knox' for a moment. "and no, i haven't eaten. you said you wanted to get breakfast this morning."

knox prescott

but you said you were hungry last night. and if he's been up all night, it probably only made the insomnia worse. still, he holds his tongue and doesn't chide him, even if what he wants to do is shake him and tell him to take care of himself. 

he stands, stretches. his shoulders pop, but at least he's able to reach up without doubling over in pain. "there's a place in fortree that does really good pancakes." he just wants to avoid the two closest places to them right now - lilycove and mauville. the former because it's a port city and his father's lackeys swarm to those like flies, and the latter for...obvious reasons. 

he reaches for his clothes. sam's been washing them and he's just kind of...let him. he pulls on pants, snapping his fingers idly, and a shirt and his hoodie and - wait. 

he puts his hands in the pockets and stretches it before him, looking down, and then at sam. "how did...? didn't we leave this in the truck?"

captain, on her way in the room from his signal, scampers onto his jeans, shimmying past his butt, and perches on his shoulder. 

samuel carter

☉

"i retrieved it."

the way he says it is like he went for morning coffee but didn't get knox a cup. he hasn't, it's something he probably should have done if he would have thought about it.

"i thought about going to get us breakfast," he's not purposefully moving on from the truck subject, he just doesn't think it's important enough to harp on. "but i know you said you wanted to stretch your legs more and try to go out more. even if you are, sort of, in hiding."

which made him wonder if he should get knox a zorua... hm. food or thought, while he's getting a shirt and pulling it over his head and pushing his arms through the sleeves.

knox prescott

okay. well, that's not ominous. he relaxes his hands and cranes his neck so he can sniff it. it's clean. freshly laundered. is that what he was doing all night? he's never exactly hated the fact that he's a heavy sleeper, especially when he has something in his system, but how long had sam been gone and he hadn't realized it?

"okay, well, thank you. for getting it." it is his favorite hoodie. and even though it's gone through a cycle of sam's soap, it still smells comfortable. homey. 

he makes a face. "being in public's probably the safest thing for me right now," he says. "if i make enough of a ruckus, he might just leave me the fuck alone. i'd say you're the one i'm worried about, but -" i don't need to, do i? 

still, it makes him pause. "i'm not saying i want this, and i'm ninety nine percent sure you won't either when i say this, but do you want me to go away for a while? not be...with you?" his eyes soften. "it might keep you safe."

samuel carter

☉

"i'll die without you."

the words fall out of his mouth quickly, nearly before knox can finish his last word. he shakes his head, swallowing the immediate panic, knowing that knox means well.

"i understand where you are coming from... my father had the same thought when he left my mother to keep her and me hidden from team rocket when he found out she was pregnant with me."

had he ever told anybody that?

"while my mother is strong, my mother was able to survive, had me as something to hold onto ... i have nothing if you leave. if i am to die, let it be by your side, knox."

knox prescott

he's expecting a please don't go or a firm no or maybe some of that panic that he gets, that knox really only sees when he's half out of the picture, reaching for something else, threatening to lift that other foot. but this makes his stomach do a couple of flips. 

he blinks. "o-oh. you have your mother? and the mountain? and hecate? don't romeo and juliet me, please. i've always hated shakespeare."

he waves it off. that's easier, right? that's easier than saying whoa there, buddy, slow down. (not that, on the first night they'd met, he'd looked at him and thought oh, i'm hopelessly falling in love.) 

love, love, love. what is that anyway? killing for someone. dying for someone. no, it's harder than that. it's acceptance and it's forgiveness and it's compromise, and he's always been fucking terrible at all three. 

samuel carter

☉

there is something there that sam doesn't quite grasp. it's not that knox is upset, he acts differently when he's frustrated. he doesn't talk. this is something else, this is a lot of talk, a mess of talk.

we, the common people, call it word vomit.

"i know what i have...and i know that it's selfish to want more than that," sam moved over to take knox' hand gently and to look him in the eyes. "but i'm done fighting myself over wanting you. so i surrendered... and i'm trying to show you, in my own ways. they haven't been working out, i don't think."

his brows furrow and he sighs, defeated by his lack of being able to communicate what's in his head. so, he just pulls his lips into a thin line and knits his brows together.

"why is it so hard to say how i feel?" worst part is, he's genuinely asking.

knox prescott

and it hits him that sam is honest. and knox is his first. his first everything. he doesn't know how to skirt around emotions, how to dance with someone, talk with bodies, with tongues, and tell faux love from real love. he's a hermit on a mountain who doesn't know that telling someone you'd die for them is a really big fucking deal. 

he only gets like this, he only feels like this, and says these impulsivities when he's high.

he laughs at his question. laughs and kisses his forehead and grabs his neck, rubs his thumb in a circle. "mm, see, that's why i find it's easier to talk like this." he draws him into a kiss, lingers there, and then pulls back. he smiles. 

samuel carter

☉

the hands on his neck are familiar. they are cold, but it's a cooling effect he needs. one that helps him to feel tranquil, to feel safe. then he is kissed and for that moment, everything makes sense. or perhaps for that moment, he just doesn't care. he doesn't put any specific ties to that feeling of lips on his but knox.

when he opens his eyes, it is knox he sees, and this causes him to smile, before he remembers what knox said and his features fall, defeated.

"i'm still 'learning how to walk' in that respect."

he's not very good at talking with his body. but he does understand that knox speaks that way, and because of that, he reaches forward and puts his hands on knox' forearms, returning the kiss. but his mouth is open, just a bit. just enough to allow their lips to fit together a bit better.

just enough to, not that he realizes it, taunt knox.

knox prescott

we'll get there. little thoughts like that help solidify their future. and he grasps them with a smile on his face, with the desperation of someone on the edge of a cliff, kite in his hand, and reaching for rope.

you're learning how to walk in a lot of respects, sam, he thinks, but he doesn't say that either. 

instead, his eyes widen a little bit as sam comes in for another kiss. he makes a noise in the back of his throat and draws back to say, "could've fooled me." he can hear sam's stomach growl, but he ignores it, stretching their kiss even further, teasing his lips open. 

just like you ignored him last night. he'd flinched away from him, said his name, and knox had been too worried about the amount of spit on his hands to realize something was wrong. 

he grimaces, draws back, hands flying up to sam's cheeks. "last night, sam, i wasn't...i wasn't in my head. i know you said you liked it or whatever, but that's not - " he sighs, tries to offer a wan smile, "why is it so hard to say how i feel?"

samuel carter

☉

the kiss continues and it's good. their mouths are open and it's better. sam thinks that, yes, this is what it's supposed to feel like. he hadn't even noticed his own stomach growling, too busy moving his hands toward knox' abdomen to ghost over the curves there--

but then knox' hands are on his face and he's jostled away from 'learning how to walk,' as it were.

"you were there, knox." sam argues. "you just didn't like which part of you it was...but i didn't mind. made me feel less..." inhuman? "uncomfortable. the only reason i panicked was because of the lack of air flow, not because of you."

then he smiles, to prove his point, there is honesty in his eyes; as their always is.

"i was a bit annoyed the door was closed and you wouldn't stop long enough to open it. that mixed with the height of anxiety thinking you were having a heart attack..." he shrugged his shoulders. "but it wasn't the way you treated me that bothered me."

knox prescott