so tied up

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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POSTED ON Sept 11, 2021 17:13:52 GMT
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You’re not. Maybe I’ll borrow the book sometime though.”
[break][break]
Not like Sol needs it, because unlike Uri, she did pay attention to her training… even if she still is no fan of the great outdoors. The calm and quiet of a beach like this, though? That she can do. It’s other sorts of places that the bad memories are linked to.
[break][break]
”I know you’re trying now. I’m glad… I worried about you before.”
[break][break]
And she still does worry, but it's not the same.
[break][break]
Although, should she really be admitting all that to Uri?
[break][break]
The little voice in her head returns with its warnings and reminders.


[BREAK][BREAK]



[attr="class","credit"]milky




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noodles

uriah
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mine are long and sharp, my lord, as long and sharp as yours.
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POSTED ON Sept 11, 2021 17:37:36 GMT
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with the book now safely back in his backpack, he sighs, moving to sit on the sand right as she says something that surprises him.

"you worried about me before?"

huh. he clearly missed the signs or was just too blind to see them.

"i never knew."

knowing now, though, makes him feel warm — warmer than the fire ever could.
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POSTED ON Sept 11, 2021 18:00:57 GMT
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It shouldn’t be surprising, even though Sol understands why it is.
[break][break]
Even before they were friends, she worried about him, because he is among her troops and that makes her responsible for him – that makes her want him to succeed.
[break][break]
She could easily tell him this, she could use this reasoning and it would still be true indeed, but it wouldn’t be the whole truth, would it?
[break][break]
So, she sighs, sitting by the fire and near him.
[break][break]
”Yeah, I did. I still do.”



[BREAK][BREAK]



[attr="class","credit"]milky




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noodles

uriah
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mine are long and sharp, my lord, as long and sharp as yours.
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POSTED ON Sept 11, 2021 18:41:31 GMT
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i still do.

if he wasn't smiling before, he's certainly smiling now. like an idiot, in fact, and he knows as much which is why he looks away in a poor attempt to hide it.

"i care about you, too."

he reaches for a stick to idly draw lines in the sand. a chuckle escapes before he speaks again.

"but that's not a surprise, i'm sure."
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POSTED ON Sept 11, 2021 19:39:38 GMT
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’I care about you, too.’
[break][break]
Does worrying about him mean she cares about him?
[break][break]
Truth be told, Sol hadn’t thought of that, because Sol sucks when it comes to emotions and things like those really do escape her unless put simply like Uri just did.
[break][break]
Now that she thinks about it, it’s easy to see.
[break][break]
”It’s not, but it’s still hard to try to understand why. Don’t explain though.”
[break][break]
It’s better if he doesn’t explain it.
[break][break]
It makes it easier to try to dismiss all of that.
[break][break]
Even if she does want to know the answer.


[BREAK][BREAK]



[attr="class","credit"]milky




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noodles

uriah
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mine are long and sharp, my lord, as long and sharp as yours.
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POSTED ON Sept 11, 2021 19:54:45 GMT
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don't explain though.

he stays silent after that, at least while he reaches into his backpack for a pack of string cheese. it makes for a good late-night snack, so don't judge, please.

ripping it open, he takes one and offers the pack over to her should she want some.

"do you really not wanna know why i care?"
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String cheese.
[break][break]
When it’s offered to her in the middle of the strange silence that rises between them, Sol can do no more than look at the pack, for a second being confused about what it is. Then, the distant childhood memories come…
[break][break]
”Is that… string cheese?”
[break][break]
A reaction that shows she hasn’t eaten things like those in years, but that also comes with a simple question: why bring that as a snack?
[break][break]
Still, she takes the pack and takes one before giving it back, because if anything, focusing on something this meaningless makes things a little easier when the next question comes.
[break][break]
”Do you want the honest answer, or the simpler one?”


[BREAK][BREAK]



[attr="class","credit"]milky




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noodles

uriah
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mine are long and sharp, my lord, as long and sharp as yours.
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POSTED ON Sept 12, 2021 5:44:08 GMT
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"it is. i love string cheese."

he knows she's judging his choice in snacks but he doesn't mind it all that much. string cheese isn't for everyone, and yet here she is, taking one right out of the pack.

"the honest answer, please."
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Of course you do.”
[break][break]
She’s absolutely judging his choice in snacks, but that’s not really a bad thing at all. Since, honestly, Sol does think it’s kind of cute, even if it’s a very childish choice – which probably also makes it a fitting choice.
[break][break]
‘The honest answer, please.’
[break][break]
So, here they go, huh?
[break][break]
”I don’t want to know because the answer worries me.”
[break][break]
But, that’s not the whole truth, is it?
[break][break]
She sighs, and her next words are much quieter than the last:
[break][break]
”...And in my experience, when people say they care it’s never true.”


[BREAK][BREAK]



[attr="class","credit"]milky




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noodles

uriah
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mine are long and sharp, my lord, as long and sharp as yours.
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POSTED ON Sept 12, 2021 6:50:04 GMT
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for once, uri stays quiet, letting her speak her thoughts instead of interjecting with his own.

"i'm sorry."

he sighs, taking another bite out of his string cheese which seems to lessen the tension in the air.

it's then, mid-bite, that he turns to look at her.

"do you think i'd lie to you, sol?"
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There’s no reason for him to apologize, and Sol wasn’t expecting him to. There’s a slight pang of guilt that comes with it, and she wonders exactly why that feeling is even there to begin with.
[break][break]
”You don’t have to apologize, Uri. You did nothing wrong.”
[break][break][break]
But, it’s not, is it? Because she knows she’s going to hurt his feelings.
[break][break]
Would he lie to her?
[break][break]
To Sol, the answer is obvious, but she knows it’s not what Uri would want to hear:
[break][break]
”...Doesn’t everyone?”


[BREAK][BREAK]



[attr="class","credit"]milky




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noodles

uriah
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mine are long and sharp, my lord, as long and sharp as yours.
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POSTED ON Sept 12, 2021 7:16:24 GMT
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"not me."

there's no hesitation in the way he states it, as though he's stating a fact because honestly, he would never lie to her or anyone. it's odd that she hasn't realized as much, because when has uri ever lied about how he felt?

apart from not being tired, of course, but those lies are okay because they're meant as jokes.

"at least, not when it comes to something as serious as this."

he sighs.

"i'd never lie to you, sol."
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POSTED ON Sept 12, 2021 7:35:40 GMT
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She really shouldn’t be having this conversation with him, because the reasons for her to feel this way have nothing to do with him. It comes from past experiences, from her baggage, from things like broken relationships, her mother’s betrayal of their family, and perhaps even those as fucked up and painful as her brother saying nothing would ever happen to him and he would always be here…
[break][break]
None of that has anything to do with Uriah.
[break][break]
He insists he wouldn’t lie, but why wouldn’t he when even the most important people in Sol’s life have?
[break][break]
She holds his gaze, staring silently.
[break][break]
”...Why not?”


[BREAK][BREAK]



[attr="class","credit"]milky




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noodles

uriah
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mine are long and sharp, my lord, as long and sharp as yours.
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POSTED ON Sept 12, 2021 8:16:31 GMT
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the chuckle that escapes is far from condescending. it forms out of disbelief that, yeah, they're about to have this conversation even if they really shouldn't.

"because i care about you."

another bite is followed by a brief pause.

"...because i have feelings about you."

he turns, meeting her gaze.

"and you don't do that shit to people you care for. or at least i don't."
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He cares about her.
[break][break]
He has feelings for her.
[break][break]
Both of these are things Sol already knew, even if she tries to ignore them and tell herself that’s all Uri and not her problem at all.
[break][break]
The third part of it is what makes her look at him though, lavender eyes meeting his.
[break][break]
”You don’t. Maybe.”
[break][break]
Unless other people who said they cared didn’t care either, and there have been times when Sol has definitely believed this.
[break][break]
”I’m not good at trusting people, Uri. I don’t like doing it. But… I hope that’s true.”
[break][break]
Since when has she allowed herself hope?

[BREAK][BREAK]



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