he realized. perhaps he simply wished to get even closer. perhaps he was selfish.

"you have."

he sighed as he watched her pace.

"i appreciate it."

Lulu Flint

☉

she was silent another moment, before she turned her back to the other wall, arms still crossed. klefki listed out of the way in the air with a jingle, following too closely when she spun.

“shouldn’t you know better than anyone not to care about people?” wasn't that part of his teachings?

snorunt fell off his foot again, tumbling into the cubchoo who’d been at him.

THEO BECKETT

☉

it was part of his teachings — was.

"i do know."

the snorunt fell, though he paid it no attention.

"i found it to be a sad way to live."

Lulu Flint

☉

“and what? you think connecting with me will make you happy? you think you’re meant to live anything but a sad life?”

nobody was, really. true happiness was a myth. the experience of life had proved to be nothing but pain, and it was all she could see around her.

“i mistook you for wiser.”

THEO BECKETT

☉

"i—"

something caught in his throat. he did his best to clear it, to fight through the discomfort that arose.

after a moment, the words finally escaped.

"i don't think i'm meant to live."

he stood, leveling her gaze.

"but i am living, and i'm choosing not to live a sad one."

Lulu Flint

☉

the hesitation was something she’d never witnessed from him. her eyes cut at it a moment, as though she’d seen a spider. she didn’t trust it. it wasn’t the theo beckett she needed.

and then, what left his lips were words she felt herself, but would never admit out loud—except for the part about not living a sad life. that part she still felt was inescapable, as long as they were still breathing.

there wasn’t a choice to make about it. it simply was.

what possessed her to move towards him, then, was maybe more so the need to know him as she had in the beginning. when he had seemed the most powerful. the most unaffected. the most dangerous, and somehow also the safest.

she stepped towards him, face flat, eyes still disapproving until she got closer and they softened the slightest bit. her tone was unwavering as she looked into his eyes, gaze slowly travelling to lips that had once commanded her body.

“i don’t want you to care about me.”

THEO BECKETT

☉

"it doesn't work that way."

he couldn't just stop feeling, at least not in the same way he once did. he always thought it was a good thing, that it was a change that benefited. now, he doubted himself, if only for a second.

but it quickly faded in favor of confidence — something steadfast and determined that perhaps reflected a version of him she sought.

"i don't want to stop caring about you, lulu."

Lulu Flint

☉

“it’s pointless.”

she sighed, deeply frustrated. everything felt confusing. enraging, even. everything was wrong.

would this make it feel any better?

she took a step closer, tentatively, into his space, hovering. maybe it wouldn’t make sense, but she was experimenting.

THEO BECKETT

☉

"maybe."

he stayed where he was, allowing her to experiment, and not giving much of a reaction. he simply watched her, gaze never faltering.

"maybe not."

but would she know for certain?

Lulu Flint

☉

his words were grating, and she wished so much that they were different. she craved something else; something she believed he had, and could give her.

she ignored his response, and found herself even more frustrated without a reaction. at the bar, that day, he’d been the forward one. then again, she had pulled back hard last time...

she gravitated even closer to his lips—about as close as she could considering their heights—wondering if he might break the last bit of distance, or turn her down. maybe he'd just stand there still, like stone.

THEO BECKETT

☉

in the end, he did break the last bit of distance, reaching a hand up to caress her cheek before leaning down to meet her lips.

what awaited them didn't matter to him.

to him, this felt right.

Lulu Flint

☉

finally, he met her tentative efforts. the feeling of his hand on her cheek brought a similar sensation as the first time, and when his lips met hers, she heard the echo of his voice, before she knew him so well.

’good.’

it gave her a shiver, reliving. her body moved closer to press lightly against his. she had learned about it much more during their training. in a way, learning to fight with him had also been intimate. to feel herself against him in such a gentle way, now, was almost shocking.

THEO BECKETT

☉

his other hand moved to trace down the curves of her body. training had acquainted them, but they still had more to learn.

things he'd taught her during training surfaced: control, power — they show in the way he pressed against her, in the way her body met the table.

he wanted more.

Lulu Flint

☉