the playful suds push has sam letting out a nearly bubbly laugh in return. he doesn't allow himself to be pushed completely away, just moves with the motion of knox's hands and brings his own up to hold his forearms, smile on his face still, purposing to keep those soapy hands against his chest as he moves.

"it's about time you got the memo." that sam was obsessed with him. "i've been trying to get it through to your thick skull for some time now."

ah, more jokes. which is proven by how he caresses the curves across from him and takes a step toward knox to try and close the distance created by that playful shove.

knox prescott

and sam's grip is enough to keep him in his orbit. it always is. skin on skin and the water running between them, and knox thinks this might be the happiest he's ever been. he thought he'd loved a hundred and one times before this, but no, not really. this is truth. this is vulnerability. 

he gathers water in his mouth and spurts it over sam's chest. a pseudo water-gun. and then he steps closer very suddenly, chest to chest, kissing the side of his neck and the spot behind his ear. but his hands are reaching up not to knot in his hair, but to rub the soap in. 

to clean him, damn it. because he's trying to be good. 

samuel carter

☉

sam rewards the efforts put forth with surrender. he allows himself to be cleaned, to be kissed. he returns the hands on his own body by gliding a mixture of soap and water along his boyfriend's. not only that, but a light kiss or two was given to knox's jaw, and then his nose.

"i'm not very good at accepting gifts."

great at giving them, loved to give them. but to receive them?

"there are a million and one reasons on why i don't deserve this, you know. the treatment, or you in my life... but i want you, so, the reasons be damned."

and if sam could have it his way, knox would be in his life forever. even if he never 'got a ring' or anything so drastic, he'd fight to have knox in his life. because he didn't want to be that ghost of himself again, that person he was without knox.

knox prescott

knox isn't too great at accepting them either, but that's because most of them have been impersonal, twisted wants of the gifter labeled selfless as they spin fantasies in bed. i know you want this and let me make you feel good, baby. all the ways, all those years, he'd let himself be used and abused, and told himself that this is love. 

he's thankful, for sam, who's shown him a true sort of love. as twisted up as it can get sometimes, it's a warm glow at its center. it doesn't leave scorching marks on his too-cold fingers. 

"we're both bad people," he says and then shrugs, "but that doesn't mean we can't be happy."

he gently pushes sam under the water so he can rinse his hair and coax the water to slick the suds free of his body. when he's done, he draws him back out by tugging on his shoulders, and then he folds him into a hug, exhaling to press against him. 

"i love you. that's really all that matters anymore."

samuel carter

☉

they are, in fact, bad people. that is truth. sam is, at his center, a good person. he protects the ones that he loves and tries to find peace for those who have lost. his whole life has been this. but at times, he has done horrific things to protect the ones that he loves.

the only one to see this side of him is knox. rumors of this side of him spread through kanto at one point, gifting him his nickname, the ferryman.

as he's pulled out of the water and into an embrace, his eyes open slowly, water leaking into them but it's clear of soap so there is no sting to it. he furrows his brows and wraps his arms around knox to return the embrace and to fully accept it.

he is a monster, but he is happy. knox isn't sinless, but he too is happy. they make each other happy and that is all that matters.

"i love you too... you promise?" he doesn't lean away and instead, he curls his face into the nape of knox' neck. "you promise that's all that matters? no matter the sins committed or to be committed?"

knox prescott

sam nestles into him and it's really all he needs. all he'll ever need. he's been to hell and back, nigh quite literally, and their little paradise is something he wouldn't give up for the world. as long as he has sam, as long as he can hold him, kiss him, love him, he's safe. even from himself. 

he hesitates, thinking back to the cold, calculating stare in sam's eyes. the nothingness in all that gold until knox had broken down to tears. and then his arms come around sam's waist. then he tugs him closer. squishes them together until he's breathless. 

"yes," he says softly. "that's all that matters."

samuel carter

☉

for a few extra moments sam took in that moment. he took it in and etched it against his mind so that he wouldn't ever have to doubt himself or their love ever again. perhaps it was a resolution, perhaps he was just trying his hardest to believe in something that had always failed his mother.

no matter how much she loved his father, his father never came back. his resolve was that he didn't care if that became him because, like his mother, he believed loving knox was worth his loss if it came to that.

but this? these moments? it helped sam believe that they wouldn't be that way. even if his analytical brain said otherwise.

his own war, his own fight within his head. his own demon to slay. and daily, for knox, he'd slay it.

--

after getting dressed and breakfast, knox had led him. he had held back all of the dumb questions that knox wouldn't answer and was, in stead, asking a whole slew of knew questions as they made their way toward the destination on foot.

"what sort of pokémon should i acquire? will i be able to reach my pc remotely while i'm there?"

knox prescott

he doesn't like teleporting. even though he's been working with hypatia, it hasn't gotten any easier. and he'd rather not feel green around the gills while it's sam's birthday. likewise, flying is also out of the question. he still hasn't found the nerve to hop on his gyarados' back. give him molly and tell him he could touch the clouds and maybe he would, but life is cruel and mundane. 

so on foot they go. it's weird, seeing just how easily he can walk down the thing now. he's no longer all skin and bones. even his legs boast a little bit of muscle now. he's still a far cry from sam's ripped body, but it's still weird. 

like it's not really him. like it's a suit, almost, waiting to be sloughed off when he starts using again. except i won't. 

"what? you won't need any pokemon where we're going. i mean, bring aether for sure, just in case we need to leave real quick. and tartarus so you're comfortable. but uh, no, i'd imagine you won't be able to access remotely."

they're on their way to a place just outside of fortree. they'll have a nice lunch, watch the sunset, and then knox will take sam to the spooky haunted trail he'd booked tickets for.

samuel carter

☉

no real hints in his words, not that sam's fishing for them, but it's how his mind has been trained to work. he continues the walk peacefully, mind dancing around the possibilities but not voicing them.

because he does want it to be a surprise, for his boyfriend's sake.

"aether and tartarus it is." with a small smile, he looks to knox, contemplating. "i should bring alecto too, right? just in case there are any battles."

mostly he's kidding. the world's evolved. you can deny a battle if you make eye contact with people now, thankfully. hurray equal rights and the promise of denial. but sam does enjoy how knox wiggles and groans at the mention of alecto.

who loves knox so much he licks his lips every time he sees him... it's fine, it's a sign he likes him, that's all. not that he wants to eat him, no no.

knox prescott

knox shudders. it's no secret he cares very little for sam's ghostly gremlin. even tartarus gives him less anxiety than the purple blob and he heard her eat someone. (that being said, he still doesn't care for her either, but...)

but that little twinge in sam's lips lets knox know he's mostly joking. so he doesn't bother pushing back. instead, he just rolls his eyes and loops his arm through his boyfriend's.

they reach the base of the mountain and start their trek up the route to the haunted trail. knox licks his lips and enjoys their companionable silence. there aren't many people he's comfortable with doing so. 

"you know, i've been thinking about our dinner date. how you said eventually you'll end up back at lavender town. and i don't know...i've been thinking if you asked me to come, i would."

samuel carter

☉

sam nearly stopped walking, one of his steps hesitating.

after a considerably wonderful amount of silence, as sam enjoys silence so his brain can route thoughts and compartmentalize things, knox reminds him of their first date and it brings a smile to sam's lips. he had become so much more human since then. and all thanks to knox.

"depending on whether it's safe or not," sam began with a fond smile. "i think i wouldn't mind settling there eventually. for now, i've this project with mt. pyre,"

and naturally, a project he's not about to tell knox about. a project of plotting, scheming, and planning. and if he does it all right, it'll be head news within his father's circle by christmas.

the curious case of the missing mr. prescott

"but we can go and visit if you'd like. you can meet my mother."

knox prescott

"i think anywhere's safer than here," knox points out, one brow cocked. the last thing he needs is his boyfriend to go jumping into a volcano to fight groudon again. or whatever the fuck happened the first time. something about time travel? 

well, between his duties at mt. pyre and the time he takes to devote to knox, there really isn't much leftover for him to give to the league. and maybe it's selfish, considering sam is almost technically an avatar, but the rest of them can go off fighting the 'greater good.' 

"oh, yeah?" he tilts his head. "think she'll like me?"

samuel carter

☉

"oh, she'll love you as much as she loves me."

his mother had always fawned over and over about how sam never brought anybody home. how sam needed to find his person. for her sake. and the sake of her not having her person anymore. and he wouldn't understand her fully until he did fall in love.

she was right, he now owed her those words. and he'd say them to her as well, he was determined.

"i've told her about you on the phone." he knew that'd make knox a little uncomfortable. "nothing personal, just that you make me happy and that you're male... which apparently she guessed? doesn't surprise me, she's very intuitive."

knox prescott