MARCH UPDATE

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POSTED ON Nov 7, 2021 11:32:02 GMT

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Is there really nothing he could have done?
[break][break]
It’s the logical thing to think, but how could Mars ever be logical about something like this? Logic stopped being an option the moment he had to live through this; the moment he was forced to witness all of the horrors that he knows that that sweet and innocent boy is witnessing at this very moment while they stand here talking.
[break][break]
It’s this thought that pushes him to take a step forward, still holding onto Cian’s hand.
[break][break]
”No, but all this still happened because of me.”
[break][break]
Because he exists.
[break][break]
Because the Marzáns have always thought of him as their property.
[break][break]
For whatever reason, he approaches a window and not the door, and even though he’s sure the curtains must have been closed back then, now they’re open, allowing them a glance at the horrors taking place in that once cozy and nice living room.
[break][break]
The child is being held back by a silent man and he desperately tries to get free. He cries, he screams, he sobs, he begs, and he looks absolutely terrified – reaching for something that’s out of sight from where Mars stands.
[break][break]
Even here, in this nightmare, his subconscious won’t show him those terrible sights. Seeing it once was enough.
[break][break]
A sight locked away by his mind.
[break][break]
”They forced me to watch how they hurt him.”
[break][break]
In a whisper, he explains so Cian can understand, but as he speaks, his gaze remains fixed on a single man out of the ones that stand in the room.
[break][break]
Emilio Marzán. His grandfather. The one who really caused all of this.

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER | MISSION

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POSTED ON Nov 8, 2021 9:58:06 GMT

through the window, he sees, and it's there that he wishes he could stop this from happening, even if only in this dream.

but maybe just being here with mars is enough.

for mars.

"is that your grandfather?"
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Nov 8, 2021 10:38:39 GMT

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Having Cian here changes things. In many ways, it makes it all more bearable; it grounds him, reminding him that all of this is in the past and that he can’t stop it or change it. Reminding him that, while his grief may never fade away, twenty years have passed, and that he’s much different from that terrified child.
[break][break]
He’s better.
[break][break]
He’s stronger.
[break][break]
And maybe, just maybe, he can become a person of whom his father would be proud.
[break][break]
Isn’t that what he should aim for, after all?
[break][break]
’Defy your fate and become something more,’ is what Azelf had said to him.
[break][break]
”Yeah, it is. This was the first time I met him.”
[break][break]
A day Mars often wishes had never happened, but then again, would he have met Cian if it hadn’t?
[break][break]
Would he really take it all back if he had the chance?

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER | MISSION

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POSTED ON Nov 8, 2021 16:08:57 GMT

despite the tension, he's able to slip out a joke, perhaps hoping it'd alleviate some of it.

"he looks like a dick."

but is it really a joke? it's also the truth.

"have you ever killed him before? in your dreams."
Martín del Mar
☉

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POSTED ON Nov 9, 2021 2:16:32 GMT

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Despite the horrible scene before their eyes, the faintest and slightest of smiles tugs at his lips when hearing Cian’s words, appreciating the way he seems capable of easily joking around even in this sort of situation.
[break][break]
”You don’t even know how right you are.”
[break][break]
Dick doesn’t even begin to describe his grandfather. In Mars’ eyes, he’s the worst person in the whole damn world, and there’s little that could change his opinion.
[break][break]
And yet…
[break][break]
”I have. A thousand times over. But…”
[break][break]
It’s then when that miniscule smile of his disappears completely, for his grandfather turns to face the child, and what follows are those words Mars still remembers clearly to this day. They ring in a cold and harsh tone, even when before there had been no sound at all:
[break][break]

”This is what happens when you betray our family, Martín.”

[break]
And the worst part of all?
[break][break]
Upon saying these words, Emilio Marzán, his grandfather, turns towards him and Cian, a gun being raised as if ready to fire.
[break][break]
Mars finds himself frozen on the spot.

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER | MISSION

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POSTED ON Nov 9, 2021 10:38:54 GMT

cian doesn't move either, realizing that this is a dream, and that the gun, even when fired, will do no more harm than the dream itself.

but still, this is more than enough.

so, with his hand still in mars, he squeezes, then tugs as he takes a step to the side.

"come on."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Nov 9, 2021 12:10:18 GMT

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It’s a dream, and no physical harm could come from this, but even if Mars knows as much, he doesn’t move even when Cian tries to tug at him.
[break][break]
Eyes of bright amber remain fixed on their assailant, the gun remains pointing towards them, and around them everything fades away to nothingness. The streets of Ambrette Town, the house, the people standing in the living room, even the boy… It’s all gone.
[break][break]
Darkness surrounds them as they stand. Just them and the man holding the gun. But that man is not Emilio Marzán anymore.
[break][break]
It’s someone he recognizes, but someone who would never belong in a dream of his own...
[break][break]
”Cian.”
[break][break]
There’s a squeeze of his hand, pulling, because this bullet is not meant for Mars, and that is something he realizes at that very moment.
[break][break]
He needs to stop this.
[break][break]
How can he stop this?

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER | MISSION

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POSTED ON Nov 9, 2021 14:54:51 GMT

what the fuck?

"we..."

he blinks, words catching in his throat as he peers back not to see mars' dick of a grandfather, but boruta maher.

"we need to g—"

bang!
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Nov 9, 2021 19:10:01 GMT

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Bang!
[break][break]
It’s instinctively that he pushes Cian out of the way, and then…
[break][break]
Then nothing. Then, he wakes, gasping for air and sitting up, short of breath.
[break][break]
It was all a dream.
[break][break]
He had known it as it happened too, but much of it had felt too real and brought too many painful feelings to think it to be a harmless thing. Even now, there’s still shock, as if he’s still recovering from it. Cosima, his father, Cian…
[break][break]
Why had Cian been there? Was that part of the dream too?
[break][break]
In the darkness of his room, under no more than the pale light of a full moon, he turns to look at the one who had been sleeping beside him, too preoccupied with his own thoughts and worries to notice the sparkling remnants of a dream mist floating through the air.
[break][break]
”...Cian?”

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POSTED ON Nov 11, 2021 10:29:22 GMT

nightmares have never haunted him, so when he awakes moments after mars, he's gasping for air, clutching at his chest to stop the bleeding only to find nothing but sweat.

he takes a deep breath, calming himself as he looks over at mars.

and then he notices the remnants of dream mist.

"musharna?"
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Nov 11, 2021 11:17:10 GMT

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Nightmares can be terrible, heartbreaking, and filled with pain and agony and one too many indescribable feelings. But, at the end of the day, they’re all a construct of his subconsciousness, and as lasting as their effects may be, none of it hurts as much as seeing the fear in Cian’s eyes the moment he wakes.
[break][break]
It’s something Mars himself has experienced one too many times, and something he would never wish upon Cian.
[break][break]
And that fear is there because of him. Cian’s question makes it clear: his presence in the nightmare hadn’t just been a result of Mars’ subconscious trying to fuck with him – he had actually seen all of it.
[break][break]
Damn Musharna.
[break][break]
Damn Dream Mist.
[break][break]
Why is it always the Dream Mist?
[break][break]
”Yeah, I think so.”
[break][break]
Mars sighs, filled with exhaustion, and before saying anything else, he moves closer, gently leaning against him.
[break][break]
”...Sorry about that.”
[break][break]
What else can he do but apologize? Cian really doesn’t deserve to see all those horrible things his nightmares just showed him...
[break][break]
Under the moonlight, honey-coloured eyes look at him, as if searching.
[break][break]
”...Are you okay?”
[break][break]
Okay after everything that happened in the dreams, but especially after the way it all abruptly ended.

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Nov 13, 2021 13:08:54 GMT

the apology is shrugged off. it's not mars' fault, nor his musharna's, really, but he still can't help but feel a pang of annoyance towards the latter.

the annoyance lingers even after he exhales.

"yeah, i'm fine."

another sigh.

"guess this is what you go through every night, huh?"
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Nov 13, 2021 13:36:34 GMT

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Cian doesn’t deserve this. He has every right to be annoyed about it. Hell, if Mars were in his place, he’d probably be annoyed as well...
[break][break]
’Guess this is what you go through every night, huh?’
[break][break]
A heavy sigh escapes him when the question comes, and he lies back down, allowing himself to sink into that pillow that is perhaps too soft and too comfortable. This time, not even the ring of that word pushes away his thoughts.
[break][break]
”Yeah…”
[break][break]
He looks at the ceiling instead of looking at Cian, and even in the darkness, he notices the scattered specks of sparkling dust.
[break][break]
Damn Dream Mist.
[break][break]
”...But it’s not always so many of them. Until a few months ago it was the one about Cosima almost every night. They weren’t so bad for a while, but now it’s the one about my dad almost every night… Ever since I saw him at the soirée, I think.”
[break][break]
But it’s not just about the soirée, is it? Mars knows as much…
[break][break]
It’s because Azelf’s words have never left his mind.
[break][break]
’Think bigger than the binds of blood.’

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POSTED ON Nov 14, 2021 9:37:21 GMT

"yeah..."

ah, the soiree. what a shit event. even now, the bitter taste of his own nightmares haunt him, maybe even more so than what he had just experienced.

"you should talk to Lulu Flint about them. i heard she eats nightmares. or was it dreams?"

he shrugs, then gets out of bed to start getting dressed.

"come on. no better time for a run than now, right?"
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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