Remi does her best to mask the shiver that trickles down her spine, that anticipation, that familiar feeling of longing that she had, for so long, left buried.

But it comes back all at once as his hand smooths against her lower back to guide her ahead. They are walking toward the gardens, but all she can think about is how uncomfortably easy it is to distract herself from her grief by focusing on the warmth of his hand.

This was wrong.

"Hm."

Slowly, as if cold, she crosses her arms over her chest and slows her pace just enough that his hand feels firmer, pushing her.

"I never thought you would ever leave Sinnoh."

LANCE VOLLANS

☉

"i didn't think so either."

but plans change. the world can be unpredictable, cruel, and no matter how much planning one does, it could all change in a second.

"there was nothing left for me in sinnoh anymore. hoenn seemed like the next best thing, given how much shit is going on here."

Remi Cassel

☉

Remi spares a glance at him, confusion clearly written across her ugly, tear-splotched face.

Was there.. bitterness in his tone? What was it that he wasn't telling her?

Scratch that.

His life was no longer her business-- it never had been. The thought makes her stomach hurt.

"Nothing left? Did you just.. pack up your whole family and move? Why?"

But she feels herself slipping, feels her claws digging in to pry him open. She wants to know, she has to know. She shouldn't. But she does. She has feelings for him, still there even behind that dark fucking cloud she's hiding behind.

LANCE VOLLANS

☉

"they died."

his head tilts away then, peering off to the side, away from her as hurt washes over his features. he blinks them away, healing the cracks that briefly formed.

"car accident. nothing i could do."

Remi Cassel

☉

"No.."

Somehow, evil thoughts creep in alongside the dread and the flash of grief. Immediately, she assumes the worst. Unkind, unfair thoughts are invasive and they take hold instantaneously. It comes through in a neon sign: did calla mccoy have something to do with this?

But no, she couldn't have. She wouldn't have. As manipulative as she was, she wasn't capable of something like that..

Was she?

Remi can't help but stare at him even though he turns away from her. He's hiding his pain well, but even she can see him refill the cracks that had appeared. Like pouring cement to fix the damage, it's imperfect but it works.

"I'm so sorry."

I should have been there.

LANCE VOLLANS

☉

lance shakes his head, dismissing her apology. there's nothing for her to be sorry for.

"it's in the past."

still, he sighs, reminiscing briefly.

"i don't think they'd like hoenn very much. not that we'd move here in the first place, but still."

just some of the thoughts he's had since moving here.

Remi Cassel

☉

It isn't in the past if he is wearing it so plainly in the present.

But she doesn't push it because it isn't her place. She can only admire and feel sorry for the way he carries his grief. While hers is raw and painful, she can see that his is much the same, but he has a far better lid on it.

She doesn't envy that.

"What, you don't think they'd like the killer aliens and frequent world-ending events every other week?"

Remi attempts humor, but there isn't enough kick in her jest to really push it through. It doesn't land quite right, maybe because her own voice still wobbles with the remainder of her previous breakdown. She swallows, bites her bottom lip, and looks away.

"It's nice to see you still in the ranger's seat, though."

LANCE VOLLANS

☉

he envies her, really, because while it's easier for him to bury his feelings, it's also far more painful when they eventually escape. to wear it on his sleeves like she does would be better in the long run.

her attempt at humor falls a bit flat, but he chuckles all the same, appreciating it.

"don't think so, no."

his gaze shifts back, looking ahead instead of away. he nods at her words.

"leading some of them, too. at least here in lilycove."

Remi Cassel

☉

Remi chuckles, though the note is half-hearted. Joking as she once had used to come so easily, her heart had been less full of trauma and anger. She could scarcely remember a time when she had laughed so openly- and meant every note of it. Now, her laughter was bitter, barbed with hate and disappointment.

Except.. a spark of her old self rekindles in his company. He always had managed to bring out the best in her.

"You were always exceptional, so that makes sense. Captain. Sounds pretty good if you ask me."

She swallows again, glances away. To some extent she immediately realizes how inappropriate that might sound. The insinuation that his status might be attractive, that is.

"I'm proud of you."

But not necessarily happy for him, given the circumstances.

"It's good to see you, too. I wish it were under better.. circumstances."

Remi knows, though, deep down, that she never would have reached out though. When she'd left, she'd cut ties and left without a word.

LANCE VOLLANS

☉

it's clear to him that she's changed, perhaps weathered by time, tragedy, and loss. exactly the same as him, but still different in a way he can't quite place.

so to see that spark of her old self means more to him than her words. he smiles, appreciating them as he dips his head in gratitude.

"...thanks, remi."

finally, he turns to look at her again.

"as do i. but the important thing is that we're both here now, isn't it?"

Remi Cassel

☉

A lot had changed since she had last seen him.

She'd lost friends.

Lost her eye.

Lost her way.

Her path had once been so clear, so easy. Being a ranger had been fun and exciting, had given her a purpose. And then emotions got in the way and the people closest to her worked to shift her judgment and blur her line of sight.

She'd fallen off of her path and had never managed to pick herself back up. Rather than be better, she had succumbed to her fate and taken to the dirt and the grime. She wore it like a badge of honor, preferring the slums and the back-alley streets than the good she'd had in her life.

It was what she deserved, she thought.

And it all comes back to the forefront when he looks at her.

"... Yeah."

Stop it, Remi.

LANCE VOLLANS

☉

they drift to a stop underneath a large maple tree. this time of the year, its leaves have started falling, covering the ground with colors of red and pink. some drift off their branches, gliding towards them as he tilts his body towards her.

it's quiet all around them.

slowly, he reaches a hand towards her cheek, brushing up to just below her eye patch.

"what happened?"

Remi Cassel

☉

In some manner, for some reason, Remi catches herself glancing away from him. She pointedly keeps her cheek facing elsewhere so that he might not stare at the black patch strapped across her face.

But he does.

And it catches her off guard anyway.

His warm hand rises, thumb brushing her cheek in his exploration of the material. Her breath catches, her heart beats quicker.

Stop it, Remi. Stop, stop.

But she cannot pull away, and her hand instinctively, quickly rises to grap hold of his hand. It is defensive, her fingers squeezing tight and pulling him back just slightly.

"You know me.. bit off more than I could chew. Paid the price for it."

Beneath the path is garrish, ugly scarring. Her eye is damaged, sightless, unsightly. She keeps it covered so as to not scare people - but perhaps it is more for herself to not see the reminder, to see her imperfection.

LANCE VOLLANS

☉