It's a shitty answer, one borne out of fear and reluctance to be honest. Maybe he believes in what he's saying, but she doesn't.

She doesn't know what to believe anymore.

"I'm sorry I left you."

She winces at the apology, unsure if she even believes it. Her gaze lowers to the floor, her fingers ball around the fabric of her eyepatch.

"Maybe things would have been different if I hadn't. Maybe Roman--"

LANCE VOLLANS

☉

"don't."

he shakes his head, reaching out to squeeze her hand.

"what's done is done. there's no changing it."

he's done dwelling on what-ifs. there's nothing he can do to change the past. if only he hadn't been at work that day. if only he'd been the one driving.

his gaze lowers.

"we just have to...live with the things that have happened. that's all."

Remi Cassel

☉

Rough fingers find hers. It surprises her, and she stares blankly at them for a moment before slowly squeezing in return.

The motion quickly turns into her stepping forward and into his arms. She is not shy, for she never has been. Her grip is tight, familiar, holding him close as if worried she might never be able to reach him again.

"I'm here now."

But for how long? How long until the guilt creeps to the surface again, until her unchecked anger and emotion get the better of her and she chooses to cut ties and run away? How long until she hurts him again, and hurts herself in the process?

A creature of habit, Remi has become, and none of them good.

"I miss you."

LANCE VOLLANS

☉

"i miss you, too."

he holds her; it's an act that, for as unfamiliar as it is, feels comforting. his hand raises to caress the back of her head.

"are you staying?"

will you leave again?

Remi Cassel

☉

He has never held her like this. Not once.

But this, held in his arms as she is now, it feels.. right, even if the knot in her stomach and the lump in her throat suggests it is not. She inhales, breathing him in, holding onto the moment, and him, for as long as she can.

She's selfish.

"I don't know."

Do you want me to stay?

LANCE VOLLANS

☉

"stay."

his arms tighten around her.

"i want you to."

Remi Cassel

☉

'Stay,' he says, and fear strikes her. Fear because change is terrifying and impossible for her. Her entire life has been running from it, vehemently denying it.

But he holds her tighter, he whispers, breath warm against her hair.

"I don't belong here. I never have."

LANCE VOLLANS

☉

"you could belong here."

but who is he to speak? who is he to chastize her when he's run for his problems; when he still is?

he pulls away slightly if only to find her gaze.

"i think you do."

Remi Cassel

☉

Could she? It felt like a dream, a faraway, impossible fairytale.

Tears flow down her face silently, but she is not making a noise. He pulls her away to look at her, and although she meets his gaze, she can't help but feel pain. Pain and longing for something she cannot have.

"Lance.."

She shakes her head slightly, denying it in spite of her desire to stay, to believe him. She wants to believe him. But he is everything that she denied for herself. He was strong, stronger than she had ever been. He had had a life, a family, a direction. Even without his family now, he still held fast to his career. He hadn't given up.

But she had.

"I'll only let you down."

LANCE VOLLANS

☉

his head shakes, mirroring the branches overhead that move with the steady flow of wind.

"no, you won't."

he wipes at tears, smearing them across soft cheeks.

"you could never."

Remi Cassel

☉

"Then maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do."

The warmth of his hand leaves worrisome butterflies in her stomach. They fly up to her chest and settle in her throat, leaving her hungry, leaving her defenseless.

She doesn't pull away, however, because she isn't strong enough to. He means too much to her, and she is far too selfish to deny his affections. It hurts, but her eyes draw down to his lips and back.

LANCE VOLLANS

☉

"oh, i think i do."

but he isn't strong enough to give her what she's looking for. it's always easier to flirt the line, teeter it, then step away when he knows he's falling. will this time be any different?

"come on, remi. stay."

Remi Cassel

☉

It probably wouldn't be any different. They were two very different people from where they'd started. Remi's path was one of revenge and guilt, with little thought given to redeeming herself or choosing to do better. She purposely dragged herself through the mud to prove to herself she deserved nothing.

He deserved better. He had always been better.

"Okay."

The words feel hollow. They carry the potential to be the truth, but for now it is merely her letting go of control. Stepping into the faint light of hope and letting herself feel its warmth.

"Show me around?"

LANCE VOLLANS

☉