Returning to Johto, sadly enough, wasn’t such an easy thing to do.[break]
Not when it took a fair amount of preparation to move regions, to begin with.[break][break]

As such, he hadn’t quite been able to visit the proper graves and the like of his family, but after some exploration of the region before him, he’d found some other places to be able to seek some form of refuge within. By no means had it felt the same as physically seeing the monuments and the like of his actual kin, being able to speak his own, silent hymns and the like before a general monument had been better than nothing.[break][break]

Before long, his hands unclasped, and he gave a quick look towards the dragon hanging upon his shoulders while beginning to walk. A soft smile tugged upon his lips at the sigh of the small cheek pouches that had puffed out as a result of some snacks he’d given her beforehand, but as he began reaching towards his belt to grab a couple more for her, he paused briefly at the feeling of minor impact. Lowly, he gave a quick groan before turning his head with the intention to give a quick apology.[break][break]

He found himself staring, instead, as a sense of familiar tiredness welled within him.[break]
The look upon her face hadn’t helped.[break][break]

He’d almost brought himself to speak (especially at the feeling of the drake perking up at the sight of the woman), but the truth of the matter had been that they were both equally as exasperated for the same reason. After some time, the words that had been caught within his throat had gradually subsided, and with a vague clench of his jaw, he merely narrowed his eyes a faint bit more in thought.[break][break]

Rather than responding at first, he simply turned and began to continue his stride away.

AYAME FUJIWARA [break]

☉

how he's grown.[break][break]

and how she's been stuck in the past. ayame is baffled, eyeing up at him. they've run into each other so many times, but now she doesn't bother to question it. arceus is certainly cruel, playing with her feelings so as she tries desperately to claw herself away (but there's only so much she can do, and it's only a matter of time for her composure to crack the next time she sees his face). this time, she tries to distract herself by diverting her attention to the cheek pouch of the axew that enjoyed her treats. it brought some solace, but with how close she was to her trainer? she knows she'll fall right back in. [break][break]

the words are about to leave her lips, but she sees that he's already leaving. this is ideal. this would normally be ideal for her, and she wouldn't have to worry about seeing him again. they could carry on like this. she wouldn't have to ache over seeing the expression on his face. she wouldn't have to wince at the pit it pricks into her stomach. she wouldn't.[break][break]

.. if only she hadn't found something that hurt more. [break][break]

"wait, asa--" she starts, then instinctively reaching her arm out to grab at his wrist "don't--" leave, she wants to say, but the second word seems to be caught in her throat.

Asahiko Hakuryuu

☉

His intention had been to leave. That much had been obvious enough, and with how briskly his stride had become in such a short span of time following his initial footsteps, it had also been safe to assume that he wanted anything but to linger, and that he would have done much to ensure that he could properly be on his way. Within an instinctive manner, he’d shifted a hand down onto one of the capsules upon his belt upon noting it begin to rustle. A glare overtook those green hues of his as he noted it, and something akin to a curse crossed his mind as he continued forward, clutching onto it all the while.[break][break]

...And then he found himself stopped.[break][break]

Instinctively, his body tensed as the feeling, and although he hadn’t brought himself to turn to face the source of the voice that spoke to him (he would be nothing short of daft to not know the source, anyways), the hand of the respective wrist that she grasped curled within itself. Lightly. His jaw clenched lightly as he inhaled slowly.[break][break]

”...Don't, Ayame,” he murmured lowly, furrowing his brows as he kept his gaze upon the space in front of him. ”Please. ...Don’t.”

AYAME FUJIWARA [break]

☉

how did it feel, ayame? feeling your heart drop in your chest, hearing his words when he wouldn't look you in the eye? [break][break]

she's a hypocrite for feeling bad. she's a hypocrite when she feels her heart ache, as much as it always had, each time she did it herself. for so long, she's been convincing herself that it would be okay if he left (even now, to some degree, she still thinks that it would be best for him not to come into contact with what monster she's become; one that would leave without another word, hoping her love dies out with her heart). he's so cold to her, but she was like that to him, too, so it's fair. it's called for. [break][break]

and it hurts all the same. [break]
and she can't help but wonder why he hasn't pulled his hand away. [break][break]

what is there to say when she knows she's the one who's hurt him so? when she knows she's the one that put them here, in this situation? seeing him time and time again, knowing he came to this region to look for her, for what ever reason she cannot fathom. it was for closure, she assumes, and her mind will keep telling her no matter how far from the mark she is. she takes a deep breath, and she has to keep herself composed. "i--.. i just--" [break][break]

she chokes up, and the tiniest crack breaks the surface. [break][break]

shit.

Asahiko Hakuryuu

☉

He hoped so, so very dearly that it wouldn’t happen.[break]
And yet, there they were.[break][break]

Even without everything said and done, there had been a subtle, yet almost suffocatingly pained twang within both body and soul, alike; a matter that had been unseen to her, though still ultimately expressed through the ever hardening gaze that he’d directed towards the ground. As if urging himself to continue forth, his form had remained leaned forward as it had naturally done in favor of his earlier steps; a natural stance that showed a means of departure, only foiled by the mere fact that he lingered. Altogether, the scenario in question had been borne of her actions. It had been her choice to leave. It had been her choice to leave him with little more than a memento of what they had been, and it had been her complete, deliberate decision to throw the past aside so easily- and for what?[break][break]

All he had were questions that she had refused to answer.[break]
All he wanted to do, after all that time and turmoil, had been to move on.[break][break]

...And yet, there he was, at her mercy. Over the past several months, he’d thought to himself. A lot. He’d thought about the events of the past, as well as all of the discrepancies and chance encounters that he’d experienced. The pain resounding within his chest during those very moments had been little more than a newcoming, fleeting emotion; rather, it had been nothing more than a recurring, revisiting tenant of his very soul that sought to provide little more than struggle, and hardship, and torment within his living and waking hours within the very moments in which he’d thought himself to be safe. There it was again. Beating. Assaulting. It threw him down with such malice and tenacity, again and again, and it had been more than warranted to claim that he was tired of it.[break][break]

His fingers curled into a gradual fist before long.[break]
His nails dug until his palm.[break][break]

Then, with a final attempt at resolve and false clarity, he lifted his arm, faintly, prior to swinging it down. Within a single motion, he tore his wrist from her grasp and began to walk once more, all while hues of viridian burned such with such exasperation upon the path before him. ”I’m not going to do this right now, Ayame,” he muttered with a low bite, clutching the capsule closed ever further as he proceeded along. ”We’ve done this far enough, by this point. Leave me be.”[break][break]

AYAME FUJIWARA [break]

☉

if she's dreaming, she'd like to wake up. [break][break]

what she'd give to be able to speak to him again, to be able to tell him the truth of what happened, to be able to confess what she's done, why she left and, most importantly, that it wasn't his fault (she knows him, better than she'd like to think. she knows that her departure would have left scars an would have plants seeds of doubt in his mind. she knows how it must have hurt him, and for so long, she hoped that he wouldn't search for her, and carried on with the cold heart she was greeted with in their first meeting). it's such a surprise to her, to see him smiling with the pokemon she left with him and to be happy with her parting gift. she thought that she's steeled her resolve enough. she thought that she's okay, now. thought that she could handle it if she saw him again - she thought she could handle the pain and responsibility that came with her actions. [break][break]

a fool standing on a pedestal she is, and now she's wallowing on the throne of bones she's built. he's so close that she can feel his skin brush against her fingertips. he's so close to her as she tries to close the distance by taking a step towards him, and he's so close when she parts her lips, about to say something--[break][break]

and a heart of stone's glass barrier shatters as his sleeve slips through the gentle grasp of her fingertips. things were supposed to get easier. she was supposed to become numb to this pain- so why did she find it harder to bear with each encounter? it stings. it stings, it stings, but watching his back as it gets smaller into the distance stings hardest. [break][break]

the words won't leave her lips, no matter how she may be trying to speak. the cracks were starting form in her facade, and now she couldn't look into those verdant eyes with the same gusto she once had. because she knows; she knows they'll gaze deeper into her, and she knows she'll never be able to lie with that gaze lingering on her person. so she takes a deep breath, and she knows what she wants to say (with the facade and another lie, she's said it so many times, so why can't she believe it anymore?). she stares at the ground, away from his eyes and away from his person, because she knows that she'll never see him again, at this rate (and it's for the best that she says it, it'd be the best for them both, so their paths will never cross again. it's for the best).[break][break]

just lie, ayame.[break]
this isn't the first time you've done it.[break][break]

".. why?" she's close to choking on her words, and she steels herself again, "you really loathe seeing me to this extent, now?~" and she's hesitating, unable to look him in the eye.

Asahiko Hakuryuu

☉

Zero acknowledgement. Zero hesitation.[break][break]

Not to her, but only to the ever rustling capsule residing upon one of few belts secured upon his person. In response to the shaking and the like only growing violent with a relentless demand of presence, his hand instinctively clasped tighter upon the containment as he pressed on. Though the woman calling out to him (questioning him, much to his chagrin, with no avail that he would ever intend to offer within this moment of abscond) hadn’t so much as perceived his specific reactions, his expression had tensed all the more as he remained turned away from her through the distance he’d sought to place between the two of them.[break][break]

Malice. Disdain. Pensiveness.[break][break]

Though it was all visible upon his face as he walked along, it was all irrelevant.[break]
All he needed to do was leave.

AYAME FUJIWARA [break]

☉

where was this stubborn conviction when she was hoping to keep him away?[break][break]

.. where was this stubborn conviction when she realized she wanted him to stay? [break][break]

ayame's a hypocrite and she's acting foolishly; even she will acknowledge as much. but she isn't the cold, logical thinker she'd like to be, no matter how she flaunted her restraint, she's accepted that it will crumble, eventually. it will falter, and she will regret her actions- and frankly, this is a cycle she'd like to break. [break][break]

desperation flares and she's left reaching for his wrist once again, though gripping firmly to keep him from leaving. she doesn't realize how sudden her movements are until her fingers are wrapped around his flesh. "please." she's unsure of where her words are taking her. she's scared of where they were taking her. [break][break]

"i'm sorry." she trembles, slightly. her eyes focused upon the hand she tries to hold.[break][break]

".. please don't leave."

Asahiko Hakuryuu

☉

He needed to go.[break]
He needed to leave.[break][break]

And yet, as he knew oh so well, matters could never be so clean cut. Although he had managed to pull himself away and throw himself into a brisk pace away, he’d found himself breathing a heavy, almost hissing and stressed sigh as he embarked upon the other direction. Loathe would he be to cause a scene in such a sacred place that deserved nothing less than the utmost respect, but as he felt a tightening around his wrist once more, he couldn’t help but to grow tense as his head turned immediately; bicolored voids of an emerald and auburn bitterness ringing through as they bore upon the source of his restraint. ”You’d best let go of--”[break][break]

His voice rose. He realized that quickly.[break]
Respect. Respect in a sacred place.[break][break]

Though his jaw clenched in disdain, and though his brows furrowed to further express as such, he drew forth another, deepened breath; his chest lifting heavily and highly in the process before the breath escaped through his lips with nothing short of exasperation. ”As I’ve said, I’m not in the mood for this, Ayame,” he started off with a low, almost growl-like stress of a murmur. ”Let me go. Let me leave. …Please.”

AYAME FUJIWARA [break]

☉

hopeless.[break][break]

she'd think that it was just wrong place, or wrong time, had he not tried to avoid her so many times, now. ah, but the bitterness was new, and it hurt, didn't it? pricked her heart and made her flinch, slightly, at images that'd long since passed as well. flinch enough for her grip to loosen, and for her to widen her eyes in the surprise, and for her fingers to recoil. [break][break]

ayame has to hold one hand slightly over her chest - over her heart - in a swift recovery. indeed, this wasn't the best place to confront him. not in a sacred, quiet, beautiful place like this. [break][break]

".. i'm sorry." she can only say, as the tears warm her eyes and the flush of the tiniest red rests upon her face. still, she's putting a smile to her lips as she adjusts herself. just smile and make yourself presentable, and immediately into "we never met here, mmn?" she smiles, still, up at a man who she knows is desperate to leave. [break][break]

her fingers are still around his wrist however, when he spoke. she just wanted him to stay, at least, until the end there. at the tail of her words, she lets go, pulling her hand back.

Asahiko Hakuryuu

☉

Though she hadn’t let go, he merely pried his hand away again upon feeling her grasp falter, though the reason she’d done so hadn’t been lost to him. With a bitter glare spared for but a moment, he clenched his jaw before taking several, quickened paces away as a means to put distance between them, all while reaching across his chest for another Pokeball as it resided upon a harness over his form.[break][break]

”We never met here.”[break][break]

The look on her face was excruciating.[break][break]

”Hopefully, we won’t meet again.”[break][break]

The cracks within her tone already echoed within his mind.[break][break]

Almost with a tear—hastened and desperate—he pried the aforementioned capsule from where it resided, only flicking his finger against the button to reveal a familiar, yet still altered hound. By the time he was fully manifested with fur of ashy hues visible for them to see, his trainer had already stepped over to climb and sit atop his back.[break][break]

”Go, Kagu,” had been his initial choice of words, only to be followed by a louder, ”Go, Kagu! Please!” upon the initial pause his companion had taken at the sight of the woman by them. What started as a gleeful front upon seeing her swiftly turned into a flinch of shock and confusion at the tone his trainer maintained.[break][break]

Crestfallen and questioning, the Arcanine gave another glance towards the other trainer before turning and beginning to make his way down the mountain.

AYAME FUJIWARA [break]

☉

and like that, he's gone. [break]
.. just like the smile she's forced onto herself. [break][break]

she can feel it, the quivering of her pokemon refuses to cease a her nails dig into the palm of her hand. and doesn't she regret it so, clinging to a man who's probably far finished with her antics? perhaps, and she finds herelf pitiful enough to cry, and pitiful enough to weep. ah, but this isn't like you, ayame. it isn't. [break][break]

a shaky breath and a heavy heart never put food on the plate; it's easy to say you'll move on and lift yourself back up, and so easy to say that it's simple (it isn't). it slams her in the face after smashing her toe, and she finds herself back at square one, where she's wallowing in the regret of her own words. [break][break]

and it leaves her thinking that maybe this was for the best. she's the one who broke it off in the first place. [break]
she's the one who hurt him. [break]
... she did this to herself. [break][break]

but that doesn't mean it won't hurt any less, and her heart won't ache all the more. at first, she thought it would hurt to look at him - and now it stings at the sight of his back. [break][break]

ah, she's hopeless. [break]
and back to square one.

end

☉